Posted tagged ‘gay marriage jokes’

Happiest Place on Earth? Not before I get my bleeping coffee….

June 19, 2013

Some Walt Disney visitors are reportedly upset that the Main Street Bakery in the Magic Kingdom will now be a Starbucks. One said “Disney is a place of dreams, not brands.” Right. Wonder if the change will have any effect at all on Disney’s stock price.

The Men’s Wearhouse has fired founder and executive president George Zimmer. So if you own one of their suits, guess you may not like the way you look anymore, because he no longer guarantees it.

Police reportedly searched the home of New England Patriots TE Aaron Hernandez Tuesday after the body of one of his alleged “associates” was found nearby. Very limited information so far but let this be a reminder to grumpy Patriots fans- there are worse things that can happen to a team than signing Tim Tebow.

A disgruntled former employee of Biogenesis now says clinic founder Anthony Bosch visited A-Rod at his request during a 1 for 9 slump in the 2012 ALCS. Is there anyone involved in this case who doesn’t make you want to take a shower.

Manny Ramirez, who was having a good season for the EDA Rhinos, is nonetheless leaving Taiwan. Reportedly some Japanese teams are interested. Maybe Manny’s going for the record of quitting on teams in the most countries?

As we approach the NBA finals game 7 in Miami, Bill Littlejohn reminds us that game 6  featured “one of the wildest comebacks ever—Heat fans trying to come back into the arena after leaving.”

Ann Romney made a polite appearance before the San Diego City Council to complain about the city’s permit and public noticing procedure, as it took about two years for approval of her and Mitt’s plan to bulldoze a 3,000 sq ft home to expand it to 11,000 sq ft. Two years? Palo Alto and San Francisco want to know how San Diego has their process so streamlined.

Some things just write their own punchlines: Senator Marco Rubio has proposed an amendment to the immigration bill to make immigrants prove they are proficient in English before obtaining permanent residency….

Following a discussion with my niece have to think it could be a good way to reduce the deficit,  if America’s white trash hase to prove they are proficient in English to keep their citizenship, we could get rid of a lot of deadwood.

(Do wonder, would Rubio make an exception, for example, for someone who could throw a 95 MPH fastball. Or hit one?  )

Tonight’s Stanley Cup score – a 6 to 5 Blackhawks win over the Bruins in OT. 11 goals in a hockey game?! Quick, start the PED rumors….

Alaska GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski, the latest to support gay marriage: “it keeps politicians out of the most private and personal aspects of peoples’ lives – while also encouraging more families to form and more adults to make a lifetime commitment to one another.” Sounds like reasonable conservative family values to me.

A self-described “anti-indecency” Texas Republican speaking in favor of an anti-abortion bill talked about 15 week fetuses: If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain.” Uh, if the future babies are masturbating in utero, aren’t they going to hell anyway?

You know you’re old when…

March 26, 2013

You think of showing your support for something with a bumper sticker, instead of changing your profile picture.

As the internet buzzes with the possibility of an active NFL player coming out, remember Willie Mays, asked at the age of 80 if MLB was ready for an openly gay player. His response “Can he hit?”

Apparently in oral arguments,  Supreme Court justices Scalia and Alito were asking question related to the statement “We don’t know the effects of same sex parenting on children.” Uh, could it be any worse, than say the effects of heterosexual parenting, with say, Dina Lohan or Kris Jenner?

If all gay weddings required a 21-gun salute, would more Republicans be in favor of allowing them?

A man  has won $8,000 in a lawsuit from Disneyland after he was trapped in the “It’s a Small World” ride for more than 30 minutes. Had he been stuck for much longer it might have been a violation of the Geneva convention.

Nike has started another controversy with a new ad showing Tiger Woods lining up a putt behind the slogan, “Winning takes care of everything.” Well, at least the ad is honest.

Not sure how Lindsay Vonn and Tiger Woods celebrated his regaining the world #1 ranking. Guessing she didn’t send him out to pick up take-out pancakes.

So all this excitement over the same sex marriage debate, then no ruling until June. It’s as if we had the early rounds of March Madness now, and then the Final Four after the NBA finals.

President Obama is planning to appoint Julia Pierson as the first female director of the U.S. Secret Service. Well that’s one way to avoid Columbian prostitute scandals.

There’s always a silver lining. Manti Te’o has to be thrilled in some ways that the headlines now are mostly just about his disappointing 40 yard dash times. (4.71 .)

One of Justin Bieber’s neighbors has accused the singer of battery following an argument over loud parties? Really, just how desperate for money do you have to be go to down in history as the punchline who claims to have been smacked down by Bieber?

Kanye West reportedly wants to call his new album “I am God.” Who knew, Kim Kardashian might end up being the more responsible parent?

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, with 19 children, say they are open to the idea of the idea of adoption. Many think they should have started adopting about 14-15 children ago.

(Pete Brody says maybe they can adopt octomoms 14 and they can have a rolling rock 33)

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Glenn Beck is now saying that the Muslim Brotherhood is behind the ethics investigation of Michele Bachmann, because of her efforts against radical Islam. Forget welfare recipients, maybe it’s time to drug-test media hosts..

From T.C.  “Dionne Warwick owes $10 Million in back taxes. The IRS left her a singing message on her voicemail, “Do you know the way to San Quentin?””

Happy Mother’s Day.

May 13, 2012

This must be the most stressful day of the year for NBA players –  so many baby mamas –  so little time.

Bill O’Reilly dismissed the Mitt Romney prep school bullying story as “dumb,” and added that “Everyone does stupid things in high school, and added that he himself shot someone in the back with a BB gun. Is O’Reilly defending Romney or campaigning to be Vice President?

The second round of the NBA playoffs has started before the first round has ended. More of the league’s efforts to make the postseason as confusing and nonsensical as the regular season.

Baylor basketball star Brittney Griner will be in a cast for four weeks after a skateboarding accident. I guess this is another step towards equality – young women athletes being as stupid as young men.

Eduardo Saverin – no problem building a company that started linking students at U.S. universities, with U.S investment, and U.S. educated employees But when it’s time to pay 15% U.S. capital gains tax – hey, I’m outta here. See you, suckers.

With the way the GOP is trying to make an issue of President Obama’s support of gay marriage I hope none of them plan to go out to restaurants or have their hair done at their National Convention in Tampa.

Three of the “Top Ten” plays tonight on ESPN are from….lacrosse? Let me guess which network is covering (and selling ad space) for the NCAA men’s lacrosse championship.

From my friend Gary Bachmann:  “Betty White says she usually keeps her political views to herself, but this year she is announcing her preference for Barack Obama. This is her first public show of support for a candidate since she came out in favor of John Quincy Adams.”

A top GOP pollster is circulating a memo saying that the party needs to evolve on gay issues. Wonder what upsets some conservatives in the party most – The idea of giving more rights to homosexuals, or the idea of evolving?

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer just signed a bill that allow employers to ask workers whether or not their prescription birth control pills are for medical, non-sexual reasons. Where’s the follow up bill to allow them to limit Viagra prescriptions to married men with pre-menopausal wives, and then only once a month for conception reasons?

Parenting over the rainbow.

May 11, 2012

You cannot make this stuff up dept:  One of the people criticizing President Obama for his gay marriage decision, saying that “we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home,” is Bristol Palin.

Here’s an interesting reaction to President Obama’s statement: “It is significant,” but “I, for one, am dissatisfied with half steps. I hoped for a leap from our president.” The speaker – Meghan McCain. Must be some interesting dinner table conversation in that family..

Sarah Palin after President Obama’s saying his daughters influenced his thinking on gay marriage: “It would have been nice he had been an actual leader instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of Glee.” Guess Sarah thinks Obama should have been watching more serious television – like Dancing With the Stars.

Yahoo’s beleaguered CEO Scott Thompson allegedly said he wasn’t the one who fabricated a Computer Science degree and that he never noticed the bogus degree on his resume. If true, forget the lying, the man is too STUPID to be a CEO.

If Thompson gets fired from Yahoo he certainly has a chance to catch on at Costa Cruises – the man has “fell into a lifeboat” down cold.

The parents of an 18 month old said they were ordered to leave a JetBlue flight because the little girl was apparently on a no-fly list. Well, sounds like a TSA mistake. On the other hand, most frequent fliers can relate to being terrorized by onboard toddlers.”

Howard Stern, who is going to join “America’s Got Talent,” says he would be a better judge than Jennifer Lopez is on American Idol: “If I sit there and just sit in a beautiful dress and tell them they’re wonderful, they’re not going to get anywhere.” And Steven Tyler said, “Wait, that’s my job.”

.Less than two days after she said she became a Swiss citizen, Michele Bachmann is giving up that Swiss citizenship. Saying that she was making the quick change to prove she is a “proud American citizen.” Either that or she’s hoping to impress Mitt Romney as a potential running mate.

Now that he’s with the NY Jets, Tim Tebow has changed the name of his dog “Bronco” to “Bronx.” What? Guess it was too unwieldy to call the pup “Meadowlands.”

 

Time Magazine’s latest cover on “Extreme Parenting” shows a mother breastfeeding her four-year-old son, both of them standing up. And most teenagers think their parents had the most embarrassing little kid pictures of them….

Gas prices have fallen as much as 20 cents a gallon in the U.S. in the last month. Stand by for Mitt Romney taking credit for it.

Leaving the marriage issue aside, here’s a question for my friends and readers of all political persuasions: Will there be an OPENLY gay male pro athlete in one of the major U.S. sports in the next 20 years? (Baseball, football, basketball, and sure, why not, hockey)

And if so, what sport?  My friend Michael Duca suggests basketball:  “just  because sooner or later someone’s going to notice the one guy who does not have 7 children by 9 mothers.

We Hoped, we got Change….

May 9, 2012

Some folks can’t decide if they are madder at President Obama today because he said he now supports gay marriage, or because he said he came to the idea through evolution.

Just wondering.  How come conservatives who are anti-gay marriage love to quote the Bible on homosexuality, but somehow forget all the verses on incest and polygamy etc?

“I am more convinced than ever before that as we seek to establish full equality for America’s gay and lesbian citizens, I will provide more effective leadership than my opponent.” A quote in response to Obama’s statement today? No, a 1994 statement from Mitt Romney while running against Ted Kennedy.

Since marriages are in the headlines today, anyone else thinking that these NBA playoffs are going to last longer than Kim Kardashian’s and Kris Humphries’s marriage?

Amazing listening to all the conservatives criticizing President Obama’s statement that he now supports gay marriage. Where was this bashing when the same position was stated by Dick Cheney?

Sheryl Crow forgot the lyrics to “Soak Up the Sun” during a Florida concert, and laughed it off with “I’m 50 what can I say! My brain has gone to s-.” Well, if true this ought to be entertaining when Aerosmith tours this summer….

A Boston radio station is reporting that two days before he missed a start because of muscle stiffness, Red Sox starter Josh Beckett was playing golf. Hmm, maybe he’d have been better off sticking to recreational fried chicken and beer.

Patricia Krentcil, the “tanorexic” mom, has apparently been banned from several New Jersey tanning salons. So when can we expect John Boehner to stand up for the rights of orange people?

Michelle Bachmann has used her husband Marcus’s heritage to claim dual Swiss citizenship. And Switzerland is saying “Wait a minute, I thought we and the U.S. had a mutual non-aggression pact.”

Former Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino’s motorcycle, the one he was riding at midnight with his mistress, is for sale.. Value of the 2007 Harley Davidson, approx $16,000. Repair cost: $18.000. Cost of the ride to Petrino’s reputation: Priceless.-

The NY Times is reporting that NCAA is already investigating Nerlens Noel, a top high school basketball recruit who has committed to play for John Calipari’s Kentucky Wildcats. Hmm, if they find something could that make Noel a “none and done?”

Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer says he needs more time and has asked for another delay in the former Penn State asst. coach’s sexual abuse trial. Presumably until say, 2035?

Richard Lugar on Tea Party activist Richard Mourdock, who defeated him in the primary. “His embrace of an unrelenting partisan mindset is irreconcilable with my philosophy of governance.” And Mourdock’s supporters probably respond with “There Lugar goes again, with all those fancy foreign words.”

So many closers injured,  so many ineffective.   This is really tough for the Yankees.  They haven’t yet figured who they want to buy to replace Mariano Riviera.

Oft-injured Josh Hamilton led a group of Texas Rangers in an impromptu “Slip and Slide” game today on the tarp before a rain out at Baltimore Camden Yards. Rangers management cannot have been amused. . But “Boys will be boys” responded AL pitchers.

From Gary M. “How about Josh Hamilton’s line last night at Baltimore: 5 hits, 4 home runs, 8 rbi, 4 runs scored, 18 total bases. Or, as the Mariners would call it: April.”

 

 

 

Carolina Blues.

May 9, 2012

North Carolina voters passed a amendment to the state constitution defining marriage as strictly between a man and a woman. Really? Can a loving gay couple possibly do as much damage to the institution of marriage as say, John Edwards?

Reading about the John Edwards trial. Anyone else think that in a just world he and Rielle Hunter would be sentenced to spending the rest of their lives together?

Some think this vote is the most embarrassing thing to happen in North Carolina since the Charlotte Bobcats.

This just in: Cole Hamels says he would have just hit Josh Hamilton.

From T.C.    Cole Hamels suspended and fined for beaning Bryce Harper on purpose. On the bright side, the city of New Orleans just made him an Honorary Captain of the Saints.

Hell  potentially  freezes over department: Okay, it is now possible that the Clippers may last longer in the NBA playoffs than the Lakers.

The Charlotte Bobcats are reportedly interested in Patrick Ewing for their head coaching position. Heck, with their record last year, maybe they should consider him as a player.

An Indiana man was arrested for driving with four children strapped to the roof of his car. Wonder if he had a Romney bumpersticker?

As a way to fight obesity, Massachusetts has banned the school bake sale. You know you might be too PC when even Californians say “That’s insane.”

Mitt “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt” Romney, is now taking credit for the auto industry’s recovery. What’s next, John Edwards taking credit for defending traditional marriage?  –

Rick Santorum says he’s against smoking, but he doesn’t want a law against smoking. But he’s against gay marriage, and he wants a law against gay marriage. Hmm, which of these things he doesn’t like actually can HURT people?

A Florida man was arrested at BWI airport with a loaded Glock in his carry-on. He said he “forgot” the gun was in his bag. What, did he miss it under his quart plastic bag of toiletries?

Mike McQueary has filed a whistleblower suit against Penn State. He’s the asst. football coach who first reported seeing Jerry Sandusky and the boy in the showers back in 2001. But then did nothing further. Uh, Mike, if you had REALLY blown the whistle, you wouldn’t be in the mess, career and otherwise, that you are in now.

North Carolina passed that state constitutional amendment saying marriage is between a man and a woman. So if you’re a state resident who wants to marry someone who looks like you, you’d better stick to relatives.

 

Rush Limbaugh is fighting back against his anti-woman reputation by touting his new “National Organization for Rush Babes.” Now, nothing against conservative women, but “Rush Babes?” What’s the requirement, a bust size larger than your IQ?

Rainbow falls.

July 25, 2011

Apparently Niagara Falls was lit up with rainbow colors today, for all the marriages.

But meanwhile, in New York City, the first couple married under the state’s new same-sex marriage laws were Phyllis Siegal, 77, and Connie Kopelov, 85, two women who have been together for 23 years. So can any conservative say with a straight face how that ceremony threatens any heterosexual marriage?

So let’s see, the GOP wants to reduce unwanted pregnancies and abortions, and also cut the number of familes with children on welfare. Hmm…maybe the best way to do this is to encourage poor people to enter into gay marriages.

Jay Cutler has called off his engagement to Kristin Cavallari. Apparently blindsiding his ex-fiancee, but not Bears fans. Who already that knew that you couldn’t count on Cutler to go all the way when it mattered.

The latest rumor is that as a backup to Michael Vick, the Philadelphia Eagles might sign Brett Favre? Is this the only way Favre can assure that for at least some fans he’ll won’t be the number one target of boos on the field?

(And of course the same might be said for Michael Vick approving Favre as his backup.)

If you crossed Brett Favre with Sarah Palin would you end up with someone who actually knew when to quit?

Qatarian Mohamed bin Hammam vowed to overturn his bribery conviction and lifetime ban from soccer on Sunday. He said he will go to the FIFA appeals court, or to CAS (Court of Arbiration for Sport) or even the civil courts in Switzerland. Just as soon as he figures out which of those will overturn his conviction for the lowest price.

Knuckleballer Tim Wakefield Sunday joined Roger Clemens as the only pitchers to strike out 2,000 batters with Boston. Very impressive. And can you imagine if Wakefield had only taken steroids? His fastball might have broken 70.

Sunday night in the San Francisco Bay Area there were competing concerts between the Indigo Girls and Dolly Parton. Fans were divided over which is the best duet.

Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy had said that Rachel, Kurt and Finn would graduate at the end of season three. But apparently at Comic-con this weekend in San Diego, the series’ other co-creator Brad Fulchuk said  stars Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, and Cory Monteith will return for season 4.

Which means one of two things. Either the three will indeed graduate, and come back as visitors from their colleges, or the writers will figure out ways to turn them into honorary football players.

Quote of the day – but from a facebook friend, but from a  Thomas Love Peacock, friend of the 19th century poet Percy Shelley: “There are two reasons for drinking wine…when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it… prevention is better than cure.”

And shocking quote of the week on an Irish report on clerical sex child sex abuse: -it exposed “the dysfunction, disconnection, elitism and narcissism that dominate the culture of the Vatican to this day. The rape and torture of children were downplayed or ‘managed’ to uphold instead, the primacy of the institution, its power, standing and ‘reputation.'” The real shocker- the quote is from Irish PM Enda Kinney.

Losers and the Lost.

June 27, 2011

An Emperor penguin is under medical care in New Zealand after somehow getting lost and swimming there all the way from its native Antarctia.  Doctors have recently ascertained that the bird, dubbed “Happy Feet,” is a male. Well, of course, a female penguin would have asked for directions.

Statement SF Giants fans thought they would NEVER hear this season: From Cleveland Indians manager Manny Acta said. “I felt we had the opportunity to win two of the three games at least. We were flat out overmatched at the plate.”

With all due respect, the Giants hitters these days couldn’t overmatch a team of anorexic supermodels at the place.

Meanwhile, in Texas – Final score Sunday – Tampa Bay 14 – Houston 10. So did the NFL schedule a secret pre-season game and not tell anyone?

Russian billionaire and New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prohkorov is now the head of a new political party, “Just Cause,” in Russia. “Just Cause,” is considered to be a Kremlin creation to give the illusion of competing with the ruling United Russia party. Well, if anyone knows about giving the illusion of competing, it’s the owner of the Nets.

Newt Gingrich in a Saturday speech on the legalization of gay marriage “I think we are drifting toward a terrible muddle which I think is going to be very, very difficult and painful to work our way out of.” Right, as opposed to straight marriage, where you can just very very easily dump your wife when she gets sick.

The Detroit Tigers retired the number of former manager Sparky Anderson, who died last year at the age of 76. Had he lived, however, Sparky might now have been considered too young and inexperienced for the Marlins job.

Michelle Bachman said her experience founding and running a pair of mental health clinics qualifies her for the presidency. Insert “blind leading the blind” joke here.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie stated Sunday that he was “not a fan of gay marriage.”  Well, while I can’t speak for all gay men, I think it’s a pretty safe better none of them are interested in marrying him anyway.

The University of Kentucky has apparently agreed to a two-year extension for men’s basketball coach John Calipari, giving him a total eight more years on his contract. Wonder if there’s an opt-out if the Wildcats become the third team in a row to vacate wins for violations with Calipari in charge.

From Gary Morton, some news  from Seattle:  The Mariners rank 22nd on baseball’s 2011 attendance records, averaging slightly over 22,000/game. The Seattle Sounders – soccer – would rank 9th on that same list, averaging just over 36,000. It’s no surprise to Seattle fans that the Sounders have more success at the gate than their baseball peers – they score a lot more than the Mariners.

The happiest place on earth?

June 26, 2011

The happiest city in New York today? Could be Niagara Falls. Years ago it actuallywas the country’s top honeymoon destination.

My friend Ben Pesta commented that  that now the Falls will “be the jumping-off spot for members of various Defense of Marriage organizations.”

(an aside for what it’s worth – the top honeymoon destination in the U.S. today?   Walt Disney World, seriously.)

One group that has been protesting against gay marriage in New York is the Norwich Tea Party Patriots –  Whose motto on their website says   ‘Fiscal responsibility, limited government, free market.”

Let’s see, higher taxes for married couples, govt out of the way, market choices….hmm.

Actually polls in New York showed public opinion was strongly in favor of gay marriage. Of course, let’s see if this holds up.  Especially in New York City next June – you think it was hard to get a wedding caterer before….

Fox baseball announcers said Saturday for the SF Giants to win they need to get two-out hits with men in scoring position.  Uh, why start now?

And as it turned out, they didn’t get any hits with men in scoring position, the same as Friday, and still won, the same as Friday.

Of course, the Giants were playing the equally offensively challenged Cheveland Indians. In fact, Saturday, the two teams combined for fewer hits than at a Taylor Hicks concert.

Good pitching, decent hitting, no defense. Forget “Don’t Stop Believing.”  The San Francisco Giants theme song should be “Two out of three ain’t bad.”

Due to a make-up game the Detroit Tigers have to play this week, the Giants will not have to face Justin Verlander.  Which even San Francisco fans have to feel a little disappointed about – how often do you have that good a chance to watch a no-hitter?

 

Saturday night was the Gold Cup soccer final between the U.S. and Mexico at the Rose Bowl just outside Los Angeles. Which probably was a big home field advantage. If so, U.S. fans couldn’t quite help their team overcome it.

Joe Maddon, 57, is endorsing “One A Day 50 Plus Advantage” vitamins. If sales are going well, wonder how long it will take the company to start producing “80 Plus Advantage” vitamins for Jack McKeon?

And finally, now that New York has legalized gay marriage, here’s a slightly tangential serious question for readers: Do you think an active male professional athlete playing a team sport in the U.S. will come out of the closet in this decade? And if so in what sport?

 (No prizes, but since the internet is forever, a response that turns out to be correct in comments will give you serious bragging rights.)

 

Now playing in New York – “Guys and guys” and “dolls and dolls.”

June 25, 2011

The New York GOP controlled Senate voted Friday night to legalize gay marriage, and Governor Cuomo signed the bill into law:

So will Billy Crystal make a second movie  “When Harry met Sal?

Dirk Nowitzki threw out  the ceremonial first pitch at the Texas Rangers’ game Friday night. Rumor has it the Florida Marlins were thinking of having Lebron James throw out the first pitch at a game too. But they’re afraid the ball will only make it three-quarters of the way to the plate.

R.I.P. Columbo (Peter Falk.) In his honor, all trenchcoats may be worn at half-mast.

Alex Kaseberg wonders if his last words to the nurse were “Sorry to bother you maam, one more thing…”

Texas Governor Rick Perry is edging closer to a run for the GOP Presidential nomination in 2012. As soon as he figures out one little problem. How do you campaign for President and talk about your state’s secession at the same time?

Tennis riddle of the day:  What do you call an American man in the finals at Wimbledon? A spectator.

Commie pinko time for the next two below:

In an anti-abortion speech, Michelle Bachmann applauded the fact that at least six Minnesota Planned Parenthood clinics were closing due to federal budget cuts? So let’s see, the objective is to limit abortions, and she thinks it will help to limit lower-income people’s access to birth control?

Well, we’ve finally found a way of curing many GOP members of Congress from always wanting to take military action in other countries. Have a Democratic president authorize the operation.

So after settling their 2004 lawsuit in 2008, then deciding not to take their rejected followup suit to the U.S. Supreme Court, the Winklevoss twins are now going after Facebook with new lititgation in Massachusetts. Even Brett Favre is saying “Guys, give it up already.’

Just once when you’re sitting on hold forever with an airline, instead of hearing “Due to higher than normal call volume you may experience extended hold times”, it would be nice to hear something a little more truthful. Like “Due to the fact we want to minimize salary costs we have decided to under staff our phone lines in hopes you will give up and go to our website.

Yesterday’s – “Herman Cain said that Jon Stewart was ‘attacking him because he was black.” Nope, Herman, Stewart was attacking you because you are stupid.'”  

Said Augie “Responded Sarah Palin, what color is stupid?”

Lies, damn lies, and propositions….

August 5, 2010

An open question to all those in favor of Prop 8. Can any gay couple make more of a mockery of the idea of marriage than Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston?

Semi serious note: I just don’t see why conservatives oppose gay marriage. Leave the moral and fairness issues aside and let’s talk money. Married couples pay higher tax rates. And weddings – including the reception and gifts – are expensive, which boost the state economy and bring in more sales tax. More sales tax revenue equals less need for raising income taxes.


Brett Favre now said Wednesday that he hasn’t decided on retirement, and the decision won’t be about money. Too bad, otherwise there is a chance we could pay him to go away.


Alex Rodriguez hit his 600th home run today. “That’s really awesome” said absolutely no one outside New York.


Two women have been charged with misdemeanors for a fight that led to a brawl during a Southern California kindergarten graduation ceremony.
I guess we can expect felonies when their daughters try out for cheerleading.

Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth skipped yet another conditioning test and still isn’t allowed to practiced. Haynesworth hasn’t blown off this many tests since he was at the University of Tennessee.

Rudy Giuliani’s daughter was arrested for shoplifting in New York. It will be interesting to see how Rudy ties this to 9/11.

In San Francisco, federal authorities today announced the a number of arrests, and seizure of more than 200,000 counterfeit retail items valued at $100 million, in one of the largest such busts ever in Caliifornia, The retailers, many near Fisherman’s Wharf, had been selling Louis Vuitton, Gucci and Chanel labeled items, for a fraction of the cost of the real thing

Local reaction was mixed. 25 percent said the arrests wer warranted, 25 percent said they were unnecessary, and 50 percent said they wished they had known the names of the stores earlier.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says testing players for HGH is about the “integrity of the game.” When a player can be suspended for steroids and go to the Pro Bowl in the same season I would ask “What integrity of the game?”

Happy Birthday to Barack Obama. Wonder what the over-under was on conservative commentators who both wished him a happy day and once again brought up the issue of his birth certificate? (Open note to all doubters – if he had faked being born in the U.S., trust me, Hillary would have proved it.)

Meg Whitman said today “In all likelihood I will vote no on Prop. 23,” (the climate change law suspension proposition.) Actually given Whitman’s past history, the first six words of her statement would have been newsworthy enough.