Losers and the Lost.

An Emperor penguin is under medical care in New Zealand after somehow getting lost and swimming there all the way from its native Antarctia.  Doctors have recently ascertained that the bird, dubbed “Happy Feet,” is a male. Well, of course, a female penguin would have asked for directions.

Statement SF Giants fans thought they would NEVER hear this season: From Cleveland Indians manager Manny Acta said. “I felt we had the opportunity to win two of the three games at least. We were flat out overmatched at the plate.”

With all due respect, the Giants hitters these days couldn’t overmatch a team of anorexic supermodels at the place.

Meanwhile, in Texas – Final score Sunday – Tampa Bay 14 – Houston 10. So did the NFL schedule a secret pre-season game and not tell anyone?

Russian billionaire and New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prohkorov is now the head of a new political party, “Just Cause,” in Russia. “Just Cause,” is considered to be a Kremlin creation to give the illusion of competing with the ruling United Russia party. Well, if anyone knows about giving the illusion of competing, it’s the owner of the Nets.

Newt Gingrich in a Saturday speech on the legalization of gay marriage “I think we are drifting toward a terrible muddle which I think is going to be very, very difficult and painful to work our way out of.” Right, as opposed to straight marriage, where you can just very very easily dump your wife when she gets sick.

The Detroit Tigers retired the number of former manager Sparky Anderson, who died last year at the age of 76. Had he lived, however, Sparky might now have been considered too young and inexperienced for the Marlins job.

Michelle Bachman said her experience founding and running a pair of mental health clinics qualifies her for the presidency. Insert “blind leading the blind” joke here.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie stated Sunday that he was “not a fan of gay marriage.”  Well, while I can’t speak for all gay men, I think it’s a pretty safe better none of them are interested in marrying him anyway.

The University of Kentucky has apparently agreed to a two-year extension for men’s basketball coach John Calipari, giving him a total eight more years on his contract. Wonder if there’s an opt-out if the Wildcats become the third team in a row to vacate wins for violations with Calipari in charge.

From Gary Morton, some news  from Seattle:  The Mariners rank 22nd on baseball’s 2011 attendance records, averaging slightly over 22,000/game. The Seattle Sounders – soccer – would rank 9th on that same list, averaging just over 36,000. It’s no surprise to Seattle fans that the Sounders have more success at the gate than their baseball peers – they score a lot more than the Mariners.

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2 Comments on “Losers and the Lost.”

  1. Augie Says:

    “An Emperor penguin is under medical care in New Zealand after somehow getting lost and swimming there all the way from its native Antarctia.  Doctors have recently ascertained that the bird, dubbed “Happy Feet,” is a male. Well, of course, a female penguin would have asked for directions.”

    And a very smart male penguin at that. He no doubt thought to himself, “let’s see, stay here in a frigid zone freeszing my gonads off with a bunch of nagging female penguins, or head for the warm beaches of New Zealand? Who needs directions, any way out of here is a good one.”

  2. Gary Morton Says:

    Speaking of scoring: the M’s scored the winning run against Florida last night on a wild pitch. A wild pitch during an intentional walk.
    _____
    Manny Acta said. “I felt we had the opportunity to win two of the three games at least. We were flat out overmatched at the plate.”

    Maybe he meant the pre-game meal?
    _____
    “Newt Gingrich in a Saturday speech on the legalization of gay marriage “I think we are drifting toward a terrible muddle which I think is going to be very, very difficult and painful to work our way out of.””

    Camera zooms in for close-up of Newt: “Unless…” then Newt holds up his Tiffany’s charge card.


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