The Eagles are playing a show at AT&T Park on Thursday, Sept. 20. At 5pm. So they & fans are so old even concerts need to be Early Bird Specials?

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Well, damn, #KawhiLeonard out for an “indefinite period of time.” As a @Spurs fan I’d be even more upset if this wasn’t still months from meaningful NBA games.

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Drew Brees, 39, will be a free agent this year, But Brees says he wants to be in New Orleans “as long as they’ll have him,”  isn’t talking to other teams and thinks a deal will be done by March.  No wonder the guy’s underrated, he’s not enough of a diva.

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Just guessing even those opposed to capital punishment wouldn’t mind if in prison Larry Nassar somehow got left alone for a few hours in general population #USAGymnastics

Nice that Apple will create 20,000 new jobs in US. But many if not most of those jobs will require higher education, which GOP wants to cut… Wonder how long before Apple says they need more H1-B visas?

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Jeff Flake compares Trump to Stalin. Except @realDonaldTrump might take that as a compliment.

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When #JeffFlake repeatedly attacks Trump personally but votes with him 90% of the time, he just sounds like a grumpy spouse of someone he would marry again.

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A British man was sentenced to 6 months in jail after he became jealous of his girlfriend having a night out, and called the pub with a fake bomb threat. And guess what ladies, when he gets out, he’ll be single.

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Trump, slamming previous Presidents on North Korea. “I guess they all realized they’re going to have to leave it to a president that scored the highest on tests.” Well, no need for a test on Narcissistic Personality Disorder.’

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When a man openly talks about wanting to date his daughter why should ANYONE be surprised when he sleeps with a porn star who looks like her? @realDonaldTrump

Many have attacked Hillary Clinton for turning a blind eye to her husband’s infidelities. Somehow I’ve missed the same folks now going after Melania Trump.

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Uh, @PressSec says Democrats would be to blame for a Government shutdown. Uh, GOP controls BOTH houses. More of that math having a liberal bias?

Really sucked to be Saints or Steelers fan this weekend. But at least New Orleans didn’t discover today they were also losing one of city’s best & favorite players #McCutchen

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QB K.J. Carta-Samuels to transfer from Washington to UCLA. Since he is a “graduate transfer” he can play immediately. Of course no one has any idea what he is supposedly transferring to study.

Chicago Tribune trolling a certain locale, and a certain QB.    Racing driver and Bears fan Danica Patrick confirms she’s dating Bachelorette winner’s brother http://trib.in/2D5tuVC 

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Does it make you an elitist when you can’t take trolls seriously who can’t tell difference between “your” and “you’re”?

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Jeff Flake has become a regular Trump critic. But until Flake actually votes against President he might as well just be mumbling “thoughts and prayers.”

Thinking only time Trump would actually use word “shithouse” would be in reference to woman he wanted to grab. And it would have been prefaced with “brick.”

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“Dicky” Durbin? So good to see that #Melania‘s anti-bullying campaign is going so well.

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Does anyone doubt if #MartinLutherKing were alive today, his 89th birthday, that @realDonaldTrump would be insulting him with a petty nickname?

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Unlike most Presidents in recent memory, Trump didn’t volunteer on the MLK holiday today, but played golf. But to be fair, maybe Trump tipped an African American  waiter or attendant an extra few dollars at his resort?

There is a great baby t-shirt sold in New Orleans that says “poo-dat.” Seems quite appropriate. Only poo might not be the exact word I would use tonight.

When I said to friends near end of game I was nervous because #Saints had found some incredible ways to lose games at end, didn’t mean that to be a challenge to top them all.

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“The best of times, the worst of times.”  Was Dickens a Saints fan?   #Ataleoftwohalves

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After awful bowl season where every conference team but Utah lost, rookie #MarcusWilliams FROM Utah lets #Vikings pull off miracle win. Not #Pac12‘s year.

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Since we are now looking at a possible Minnesota-Jacksonville Super Bowl, neither with a quarterback most Americans have heard of,  I guess this might be a game where people really do watch for the commercials.

All this controversy over $130,000 to a porn star. Well, at least one independent contractor who worked under Trump got paid.

To be fair, maybe in his mind Trump wasn’t ignoring a state yesterday, because he & many birther buddies don’t think Hawaii is a state.

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A serious post on a current myth. I’ve spent all my working life since the age of 15 in either restaurants or the travel industry. And I believe most people try to do a good job at work.
But my observation is that immigrants, legal and illegal, have always been some of the very hardest working people. Lazy and entitled seems to be more of a problem for those born right here in the USA.

Plenty of questionable calls went New England Patriots way last night. And can understand how Tennessee  fans might be upset. Without those calls,  Titans might have only lost by 10.

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Trump tweet storm Saturday night. Has someone told the president that if he’s  that bored on Saturday night,  SNL is back

From T.J. in Canada on Trump “I didn’t say that but even if I did – Shithole countries is just “Locker Room Talk.”

Have @Cavs just decided to take rest of season until the playoffs off?

–

But you do have to wonder how NBA expects fans to take regular season seriously when the players don’t.

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Spurs are dealing with plenty of injury issues this year. Who’d a thunk one of the healthier guys would be Manu Ginoboli. #ageandtreachery

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British study found elderly people who devote 3 hours or more a day to housework are healthier. Thinking maybe health is overrated?

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Missing those days when as American you could go to bed at night without worrying in morning “Oh Gawd, what did our President say NOW?”

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So which bar will be 1st to offer a “Stormy Daniels?” Ginger beer, Jack Daniels, with orange on top. And it ends up being a lot more expensive than you think.

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Even if @realDonaldTrump was “saying what many people think,” isn’t President of the United States supposed to be better than the worst of us

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Politics is not overrun with saints & many long marriages get complicated. But alleged #StormyDaniels encounter was only a YEAR after Donald & Melania were married.

Fox says Trump’s “shithole” comments are “how the forgotten men and women in America talk at the bar.” So they’re saying America is a nation of racist alcoholics?”

Serious question, if you still support @realDonaldTrump, is there ANYTHING he could do that would make you change your mind?

Is weeping.

But if only in 1885 we hadn’t let in Fredrich Trump from Bavaria.

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It’s not that there are shithole countries, it’s that we have an asshole President. Sincerely, USA.

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Pretty damn sure that immigrants from #Shitholecountries work harder every day than Trump’s children have ever worked in their lives.

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Has anyone told @realDonaldTrump that since January 2017, many nations around the world now consider USA a “shithole” country?

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Waiting for GOP to say after Trump’s verbal assault today that it’s “too soon” to talk about racism. But “thoughts and prayers.”

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Oh please oh please can someone ask @realDonaldTrump live and on camera if he is a Mensa member?

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Walmart has closed many Sam’s Club stores across the country with no notice. I missed the Trump tweet taking credit.

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In Britain, Marks and Spencer has been shamed into stopping Sales of “cauliflower steaks”- a single slice of cauliflower for about usd 4. Hope this doesn’t give Whole Foods ideas.

As someone who started with sports jokes, I would love to #sticktosports. If Trump would only stick to being a plausible human being.

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#Clippers last night gave #Warriors one of Golden State’s worst losses of the NBA pre-season.

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Chargers will play at Wembley in London in 2018. Where they will probably get as many home supporters in stadium as they do in Los Angeles.

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NFL investigating if Raiders violated the Rooney Rule of interviewing minorities in hiring Jon Gruden. More like they violated bigger unwritten rule – “Thou shall not ignore it so obviously.”

Stephen Curry apparently injured his ankle again in practice.   But given that it’s January he should be recovered before the NBA pre-season ends in April?

–

ESPN “Are the Thunder or Wolves a bigger threat to the Warriors?” So when did Spurs become chopped liver?

(or for that matter Rockets.)

–

UCF fans did a digital billboard asking Alabama to play the Golden Knights during the regular season.  And give up worthy foes like Colorado State and Mercer?

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50 evacuated and some minor injuries when an apparently overheated iPhone battery started emitting smoke in a Zurich store. Talk about a baked Apple.

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So were ICE raids on 7-Eleven just another way of going after states that have legalized marijuana? #Doritos.

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Because of course everyone knows that Americans for years have been denied the chance to work at 7-Eleven. #Cruelpettystupid

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Diet Coke is changing its look and its marketing due to slumping sales. Maybe bigger problem is that watching Trump is making America think the beverage causes dementia.

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If ICE “really’ wanted to make a statement about no one being above the law, think they would consider massive unannounced raids at Trump properties?

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An innocent man would be happy to talk to the FBI to set the record straight.

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So Mexico is paying for wall, but US budget needs $18 billion for it.. Another of those time-share deals with “modest” annual fees?

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With earthquake of the shore of Honduras plus tsunami warnings, I guess humming “The Morning After” on a cruise ship would be a bad idea. #Bustohell

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Some say @SenFeinstein too old to run again for Senate. But besides fact women live longer than men, some advantages in having no more f*cks to give.#FusionGPS

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“Sneaky Dianne Feinstein.” Couldn’t Trump have just called her a “Sneaky Woman?” That would look better on a best-selling t-shirt.

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Now Trump is taking on Senator Dianne Feinstein. Pass the popcorn. Sorry Donny, you aren’t in her league.

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Dianne Feinstein NEVER said there was no collusion. Lies, Damn Lies and Trumpisms.

On the other hand, “Sneaky Dianne” sounds like a good message for Senator Feinstein’s re-election t-shirts.

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Horrible mudslides & death toll at 15 in California. Good to see @realDonaldTrump trying to be Presidential at least with “thoughts and prayers.” Wait, never mind.

Gov. Rick Scott has just declared UCF college football champions. Hmm. When Florida gets a Democratic governor after 2018 elections can he/she just declare Hillary electoral college winner in state?

Agriculture Sec. Sonny Perdue introducing Trump at Farm Bureau “It’s okay to say, once again, Merry Christmas.” But it’s January. So is it also okay to say “Happy MLK Day?”

#Oprah would be a much better reality TV star President than #Trump, but doesn’t mean she is anywhere close to best candidate in 2020.

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Guess I was wrong, I thought respecting the National Anthem meant learning all the words. @realDonaldTrump

With that miracle win last night it’s almost as if God said He/She approves of Alabama electing a Democrat. #RollTide #NationalChampionship

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ESPN already has projected top 25 in college football for 2018. Don’t they want to see what players stay academically eligible first?

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Trump has a point on chain migration. If we didn’t have dangerous people following their parents we wouldn’t have Jared and Ivanka in White House.’

Mitt Romney apparently was treated successfully for prostate cancer this past summer. Thinking at this point would rather have GOP senator with cancer, than one who IS a cancer.

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Trump has a point on chain migration. If we didn’t have dangerous people following their parents we wouldn’t have Jared and Ivanka in White House.

Now it’s #TrumpTower on fire. Wonder which former Trump employee was popping too much popcorn?

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When Mueller gets done restoring voting rights for felons may actually become a GOP priority. Because many Republicans will need that ever to vote again.

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As much fun as it is to think about 2020 presidential election, thinking we Democrats first need to win races in 2018 to make sure we HAVE 2020 presidential election.

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Steve Bannon fired from Breitbart. Wonder how many rocks they will have to overturn before a possible replacement slithers out?

From  @NFLResearch after first half of NFC Wild Card game –  “Drew Brees’ 151.4 passer rating is the highest by any player in the first half of a playoff game (min. 10 attempts) since @kurt13warner in the 2008 NFC Championship (156.0 passer rating against Eagles) @Saints”

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Spurs lose by 1 to Portland on the road with Kawhi, Parker etc, out  Manu Ginobili is the first player in his 40s to score 15+ points in back-to-back games since Michael Jordan in 2002-03.  If only San Antonio had a bit more maturity.

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#Bills vs #Jaguars today in 1st NFL Wild Card Game. “I’ll take two teams that most Americans haven’t seen on TV this year for $400, Alex.”

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If Colin Kaepernick goes ahead with his collusion trial he can put game tape of #Bills #Jaguars today as exhibit one. #NFLPlayoffs

Pretty clear we elected the wrong television star as President. #Oprah

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But really, to be a #stablegenius don’t you have to win at least one Kentucky Derby?

-my sister suggests “Oh, that’s how he meant it. It makes so much more sense now. As horse’s asses go, he probably can be considered a genius.”

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GOP governors in Florida & NH came out against offshore oil drilling plan. Waiting to see how Trump revises it only to drill off coasts of blue states.

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As part of @realDonaldTrump’s am tweet storm – “Ronald Reagan had the same problem and handled it well. So will I!” So he’s admitting to having Alzheimer’s?

If Trump really wants to prove he’s a self-made billionaire (except for that little $1 million loan from his father) maybe he should release his tax returns?

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So if  Fire and Fury  is all lies, why is Trump so furious about what  Steve Bannon  reportedly said?

Jake Tapper on CNN called Stephen Miller “obsequious”  and told him to “stop wasting his viewers’ time.  After the interview Tapper then said “Welcome back to planet Earth.” Will those be the first words we hear when Trump leaves the White House? ”

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So who got to be the one who explained that “obsequious” meant to the #stablegenius today? #Trump #StephenMiller

Women aren’t surprised that @realDonaldTrump would get confused using the word “consensual.”

Two questions as Raiders prepare to announce Jon Gruden as new head coach next week. 1. How long a contract. 2. How long before he gets fired?

Louisville QB Lamar Jackson is leaving early for NFL draft. Since ESPN rates him 7th best QB prospect guess he feels safe from being drafted by Browns.

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As media reports on possible Patriots dissension over trading Garopollo perhaps worth remembering not that long ago SF 49ers thought Kaepernick was their franchise QB.

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American Airlines flight from JFK to Cancun this morning had to turn around & land back at airport after reports that someone “mistakenly thought they saw an engine on fire.”
Thereby putting a planeload of people on their way to the beach back in #bombcyclone.
Guessing the culprit has a great future in Southwest commercials
#Wannagetaway

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So who needs labor laws and regulations? Another American Airlines flight delayed an hour because low-paid subcontracted caterers who aren’t airline employees accidentally broken an exit sign in back of plane.

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NY Times says Mueller has handwritten notes from Mr. Trump’s former chief of staff, Reince Priebus, about pressuring Comey. Can’t wait to see the nickname Trump comes up with for Preibus.

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There were 2.06 million jobs created in 2017. There were 2.24 million created in 2016. . No one should spread his around as it will upset Trump.

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US has warned people not to eat romaine lettuce after E. coli outbreak. How many kids telling their parents better to be safe and just skip salads.

So when can we expect tweet from @realDonaldTrump saying even his storms are biglier and better than Obama’s?

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Most media outlets. “Is Trump Sane?” Fox News. “Is it time to impeach Hillary Clinton?”

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So which genius in administration thought best way to deal w/ rumors of Trump dementia was having him appear on video tape at White House press conference?

Would Trump like to explain why he chose “Sloppy Steve Bannon” for one of most sensitive positions in White House – National Security Council?

As #FireAndFury breaks sales and library waitlist records, who’d a thunk @realDonaldTrump would be the greatest President for promoting reading ever?

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So how long until Trump drops lawsuit on #FireAndFury and files another lawsuit demanding a cut of royalties?

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Ah, who are we kidding…?

UCLA and USC QBs Josh Rosen & Sam Darnold both declare they are leaving college early for NFL draft. Meaning other Pac 12 teams have improved chances next year of being beaten in better bowls.

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Of course the real question is which QB will be picked #1. And then maybe wish he had stayed with at least a semi-pro college team instead of the Browns.

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New Marlins owner Derek Jeter expects team to be profitable this season. Will revenue include that playoff share Jeter will be voted by the Yankees?

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Quote the Bengals to Ravens’ playoff hopes -. “Nevermore”

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NFL teams that started 0-2 in 2017: Jets, Bengals, Browns, Colts, Chargers, Bears, Saints, Giants & 49ers. ONE of them is in playoffs.

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And Drew Brees, 38, just set record for highest completion percentage by an NFL QB in a single season.  Imagine how good he’ll be with a little more maturity.

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Who says Wikipedia is always right? “The Cleveland Browns are a professional American football team based in Cleveland, Ohio.”
“Professional?”

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As we all wake up tomorrow  can we hope that on New Year’s Eve  Trump staffers and friends all got  as drunk and chatty as Papadopoulos at that London bar?

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And for those of us who are slow to adapt to change, maybe easier to change 2016 to 2018 rather than 2017 on our checks.

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But open note to anyone who said that after 2016, 2017 couldn’t be worse. Don’t make the same dare about 2018.

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On other hand, we’re finally done with 2017 emails pleading for last-minute donations. To be followed shortly by “Start 2018 off right by donating” emails.

Is it wrong to hope anti-vaccine advocate Jenny McCarthy, who co-hosted  #NewYearsRockinEve, ends up a  w/ bad case of flu after not getting a shot? Asking for a science-believing country.

Kind of comforting to know @BarackObama was in Hawaii tonight watching to see if rest of USA somehow made it safely to 2018.

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2nd coldest New Year’s Eve in New York ever….. Damn, now I wish that was somehow part of punchline for a joke on President Hillary Clinton.

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Although, it was so cold….did anyone check the ball  when it dropped for shrinkage?

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If @realDonaldTrump REALLY cared about Iranians, who are protesting at no small risk to themselves, he could, you know, maybe take them off his travel ban? #IranProtests

So did the #Pac12 get together & make a mutual pact to take bowl season off?

So Miami coach Mark Richt’s response in the Orange Bowl to what he thought was a missed holding call was to hold an official?

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On other hand, Richt got his team a 15 yard penalty but stayed in game. So one  thing learned from bowl weekend.    If you’re going to touch referee, you’d better be a white coach & not a black running back. #MarkRicht #BennySnell

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Louisville’s Lamar Jackson had a mixed game in a bowl loss to Mississippi State,  329 yds (171 passing & 158 rushing),  along with 3 TDs & FOUR interceptions.

On a brighter note, the interceptions might have reduced his chances of being drafted by the Browns.

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At Fiesta Bowl, with weather in 70s, roof was closed & AIR CONDITIONING is on. Most of rest of USA either thinking “We hate you” or planning to move to Arizona.

So will Papadopoulos blame his loose lips on too much covfefe?

If #Papadopoulos spilled details on Hillary email & Russia after a few glasses at a wine bar, can only imagine what he might have said after a few fabulous martinis at say, Dukes Hotel.

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“There was no collusion, and even if there was, it’s not a crime.” Whoever thought we’d miss ” I am not a crook.”

Who says Trump has no sense of comedy.   Right.  He doesn’t “like” to use Social Media like he won’t benefit from GOP tax bill…

“I use Social Media not because I like to, but because it is the only way to fight a VERY dishonest and unfair “press,” now often referred to as Fake News Media. Phony and non-existent “sources” are being used more often than ever. Many stories & reports a pure fiction!”

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On other hand,  how I’d love to be trying to write jokes about how #NewYearsEve would be so cold in DC Hillary Clinton would be ordering fleece-lined pantsuits for White House.

In Texas, a truck crashed & spilled 40,000 lbs of avocados on I-35 just south of Dallas. “Holy guacamole, Batman.”

The incident was almost as embarrassing as the Cowboys’s season.

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Heisman winning QB Baker Mayfield said he was sick & didn’t go with Oklahoma’s Disneyland California Adventure Park. Hmm, a Mickey Mouse excuse?

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On other hand,  Disneyland had a massive power outage that stranded some guests on rides. If those rides included “It’s a Small World” wonder how many might claim PTSD afterward.

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You could tell Purdue fans in San Francisco  for Foster Farms Bowl. They were ones walking around in shirtsleeves and shorts in 60 degree weather. And grinning.

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Consolation for Stanford fans in #AlamoBowl….. at least anyone who bet on #Cardinal as 3-points underdogs ending up winning.

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Okay, where’s @realDonaldTrump’s defense of @Saints rookie RB?
Except that Sean Payton & Drew Brees have both made reasonable political statements.

NFL ‘Grinch’ fines Kamara for holiday-themed cleats

‘

Apple in announcing reduced battery prices. “We have never-& would never-do anything to intentionally shorten life of any Apple product, or degrade user experience to drive customer upgrades.” I like “pushed into lifeboat better.”

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If @realDonaldTrump were actually doing as good a job as President as he claims why would he care if Americans knew he was golfing?

and hey, if you have to get a truck to block press view of you golfing you just might be doing too much golfing.

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 Lindsay Lohan posted on Instagram about being bitten by a snake while on vacation in Thailand. I miss days when Lindsay Lohan stories were craziest headlines in US.

People MIGHT pay more attention to bowl games if we could do office pools on them. Except that most offices close last week in December.

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Guessing Stanford Athletic Dept won’t be sending marketing emails to fans & alums saying “Remember the Alamo.” #AlamoBowl

 Waiting to see how long it takes Roy Moore to condemn “liberal” Alabama judges.

If  @realDonaldTrump were actually doing as good a job as President as he claims why would he care if Americans knew he was golfing?

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Lindsay Lohan posted on Instagram about being bitten by a snake while on vacation in Thailand. I miss days when Lindsay Lohan stories were craziest headlines in US.

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People MIGHT pay more attention to bowl games if we could do office pools on them. Except that most offices close last week in December.

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Duke vs Northern Illinois Tuesday. “I’ll take teams that should be a March Madness instead of a bowl matchup for $400, Alex.”

Last home games in Nashville & Baltimore will now be at night in winter because @NFL thinks it’s more fair with teams trying for playoffs. Same that logic didn’t apply for scheduling Thursday Night Football.

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At Orlando airport this morning, there were major TSA delays after passenger w/ concealed-carry permit tried to bring a gun & ammunition in his carry-on bag. Back on your game, Florida.

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Actual talk in Britain that Prince Harry is thinking of inviting the Obamas to his comparatively small wedding, but not Trump. And that some in government are worried it will upset the President and cause problems for US-Britain relations.

Three words for Harry from the USA “Just do it.”

AP reports that Trump has not had a single State dinner as President. Makes sense – he can’t make a profit off of a meal he serves at the White House.

The White House is removing a centuries-old Jackson Magnolia tree.  Now apparently the tree is old and sick and arborists have been trying to treat it for some time. But guessing they could have got Trump’s permission just by saying it was Obama’s favorite.

As media tries so hard to find stories of Trumpsters who still support @realDonaldTrump wouldn’t it be easier to interview members at Mar-A-Lago & Bedminster?