Posted tagged ‘Cruz jokes’

« Left Coast Sports Babe home page
Newer Entries »

All about love

February 15, 2016

The best Valentine’s Day present for many of us is the realization that pitchers and catchers report this week. ‪#‎SpringTraining‬ ‪#‎MLB‬

 

Watching the NBA All Star game had to wonder   –  Does Kobe Bryant have a fatal disease or something?

–

NBA All Star Game is over. So ‪#‎NBA‬ fans who enjoy games with no defense will just have to go back to watching the ‪#‎Lakers‬

–

There actually was a spread on the NBA  All Star Game. And if you know what it is, you just MIGHT have a gambling problem.

–

Since the slam-dunk and 3-point shooting contests are so popular with viewers, maybe here’s a solution to the Pro Bowl: forget the game, and just get the top players together for some skills contests. And maybe the No Fun League for one day could let players come up with their “best touchdown celebration.”

–

Denver Broncos safety Shiloh Keo was busted for DUI in Idaho, making him the third NFL player to be arrested this year. Once again, the league is proving they can keep making headlines in the offseason.

–

A T & T winner Vaughn Taylor made the field Monday in  Pebble Beach as an alternate. Put that in a movie & critics would say it wasn’t realistic.

And Taylor certainly “needed” it more than Mickelson.  But Lefty at 45 remains one of the most entertaining (and beloved) golfers of our time.

–

New SF Giants outfielder Denard Span told an interviewer in 2013 that he was afraid of birds and fish. “You know, I’m okay with someone throwing a fastball at my head But a bird flies at my head, I’m more terrified.”. Which could present interesting challenges for Bruce Bochy in the late innings at AT&T park. ‪#‎gullpower‬

 

–

As Ted Cruz continues to insist he will filibuster anyone Obama nominates to the Supreme Court, has it occurred to him that our cerebral and thoughtful President, himself a former law school professor, might pick someone Cruz would like a lot better than, not even a possible President Sanders or Clinton, but a President Trump?

–

If these GOP candidates really want to prove how much they love the 2nd amendment, why don’t they agree all to be armed for the next debate? ‪#‎mustseeTV‬

 

–

A 45 minute lockdown at Arkansas State University was lifted after ‘gunmen’ on campus turned out to be student actors filming a video. Once again Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.” ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

–

Neal makes an potentially fun  point,

Ted Cruz’s campaign is dealing with some fallout because they accidentally used a porn actress in on of their commercials. …

“Too bad she didn’t get a selfie with the candidate.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Comments: 5 Comments

RIP from RBG

February 14, 2016

In the midst of all the craziness, this comment from Ruth Bader Ginsberg on Antonin Scalia is worth repeating. “I disagreed with most of what he said, but I loved the way he said it.”

–

So at ‪#‎Scalia‬‘s funeral will Clarence Thomas honor his late colleague by not saying a few words?

 –
#‎TedCruz‬ says the next President should nominate ‪#‎Scalia‬‘s replacement. So congrats to all those who had “about 10 minutes” in the pool.
–

Wind chill in liberal Massachusetts tonight down to at least 35 below. Maybe some in the GOP shouldn’t have said it would be a cold day in hell when Obama would get to nominate another Supreme Court justice.

–

Padmanabhan Srikanth “Sri” Srinivasan – google him. Confirmed 97-0 on the US Court of Appeals. Obama could make things very difficult both for the GOP and reporters/copy editors.

–

 

So all these GOP yahoos demanding we wait until the election and to let the next President pick the next Supreme Court justice, does this mean that if a Republican is elected, they think he should not be able to fill any potential SCOTUS opening in the 2nd half of his term?

–

We interrupt politics for a bulletin from Pebble Beach. Phil Mickleson is leading the AT&T Pro-Am by 2 strokes after 3 rounds. Even Jamie Moyer is thinking “That dude is old.”

–

Jenrry Mejia has been banned permanently from MLB for his 3rd PED suspension. Clearly Mejia should have focused on trying to play NFL football, where he’d be back again after a few games.

–

More of the “stuff” you can’t make up: In New York, Central Park’s ice festival was canceled today, due to extreme cold.
(And in Minnesota they’re just giggling.)

–

Kentucky men’s basketball coach John Calipari was ejected two minutes and 26 seconds into today’s game against South Carolina. 146 seconds?!! That’s only about as long as his players spend in class.

 

As a retirement gift, Michael Jordan gave Kobe Bryant a full set of all 30 sneakers released so far in the Air Jordan line. A very nice gift. Although at this point Kobe almost has enough money to have been able to buy them himself.

–

For that matter, will those in the GOP who say a president should not be able to nominate a Supreme Court judge in the last year of his term, also say that a president cannot negotiate important deals and treaties etc in that last year. Leaderofthefreeworldforthefirsthalfofhisorherterm‬?

–

Mitch McConnell -“The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new President.” Uh, didn’t the American people exercise their voice by electing President Obama? Twice.

–

Ted Cruz’s campaign is dealing with some fallout because they accidentally used a porn actress in on of their commercials. Such an ad would never be released by Hillary Clinton’s campaign – Bill would recognize the actress first.

–

Watching these debates makes many Americans wish that Jed Bartlett was president. Heck, watching these debates makes many Americans wish Frank Underwood was president.

 

Comparing tonight’s GOP debate to a kindergarten playground is an insult to kindergarteners.

–

Somewhere Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders had to be watching this ‪#‎GOPDebate‬ and just giggling.

 

 

 

 

So will those in the GOP who say a president should not be able to nominate a Supreme Court judge in the last year of his term, also say that a president cannot negotiate important deals and treaties etc in the last year of his term? ‪#‎Leaderofthefreeworldforthefirsthalfofhisorherterm‬?

Categories: debate jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: 3 Comments

Countdown

February 7, 2016

So Sunday night the pre-Super Bowl hype will be over. The pre-NFL draft hype starts Monday.

 

As of Saturday, Super Bowl ticket prices have fallen under $2,700. That’s cheaper than a Jeb Bush vote in Iowa.

 

So which has become a worse version of Groundhog Day – the never-ending Super Bowl pre game show, or yet another GOP debate?

–

All these experts making Super Bowl predictions. And of course all of them predicted a Panthers Broncos matchup.

–

 

Gregg Popovich gave a nice tribute to Kobe Bryant before game. After ‪#‎Lakers‬ came within 4 of ending ‪#‎spurs‬ streak he might take it back

–

Playboy debuted their first non-nude issue. So now men really can say they read it for the articles.

–

Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has been transferred to an adult jail. “I feel so sorry for him” said nobody.

–

A shooting at a strip club in Tampa has left 1 dead and 7 injured. And wonder how many more injured when the police investigation resulted in wives finding out their husbands were there.

–

A friend somehow by mistake got on a Ted Cruz mailing list; his fundraising letter rails against moderates like Mitt Romney and John McCain, and says “it has been my honor to fight on your behalf against the DC liberals (of both parties.)…”
Showing again why Senator Cruz is so “beloved” in the Senate.

 

Justin Bieber was seen tonight in San Francisco skateboarding around town. That’s it. Time to build that wall. But on the Canadian border.

 

Donald Trump Saturday night “I would bring back waterboarding. And I would bring back a hell of a lot worse.” What, like making suspects listen to his speeches?

–

Donald Trump, complaining today on Jeb Bush using Barbara on the campaign trail. Adding Bush “had to bring in mommy to take a slap at me. Not nice!” On the other hand, Trump attacking Jeb and his campaign – isn’t it also not nice to pick on those on life support?

–

Martin Shrreli says “The only thing I regret about my Congressional testimony is forgetting to bring my Nintendo DS’: Is this guy trying to be a big enough douchebag that he gets considered for a possible Ted Cruz cabinet?

–

#‎LetCarlyDebate‬ is seriously trending on social media. Wonder how many of the posts are by Carly supporters and how many are by comedians.

 

 

 

From TC  on the 58% percent increase in NFL concussions in 2015 compared to 2014: “Due mostly to Seahawks fans after February’s Super Bowl slapping themselves on their foreheads.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

After Iowa

February 1, 2016

So the 2016 caucuses in Iowa are over.  No doubt someone will be setting up a potential campaign office for 2020 tomorrow.

 

–

#‎IowaCaucus‬ numbers: ‪#‎Huckabee‬ – 3,305 ‪#‎Christie‬ – 3,247. So NJ Gov. got 57 fewer votes less than guy who suspended his campaign tonight.

–

Record number of GOP caucus goers in Iowa. The turnout, at 150,000, is about the same as a good three-day ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎LADodgers‬ series.

–

#‎MarcoRubio‬ gives a great victory speech – thanking 39,000 Iowans for his third place finish. ‪#‎IowaCaucus‬

–

Marco Rubio does an awfully good job of attacking Hillary Clinton for not keeping her personal and work emails separate for someone who has been almost indicted for, at best, not keeping his personal and work credit cards separate.

–

Some say the young Senator Marco Rubio is a GOP Barack Obama.  One major difference – one of Obama’s parents was actually a U.S. citizen.

–

Breaking news from 2012 – Mike ‪#‎Huckabee‬ has just suspended his Presidential campaign.

–

Martin O’Malley says he will suspend his Presidential campaign. And millions of American in unison respond “who?

–

#‎MartinOMalley‬ just suspended campaign. Wonder if he’s found moving company to return him from midwest to ‪#‎Baltimore‬ in middle of night?

–

Ah Donald. In Council Bluffs, Iowa, Trump went to church, mistook the communion plate for the collection plate and tried to put in an donation. Well, when this election is over he can relax and start not going to services except for weddings again.

–

Adele said through a spokesman that she has NOT given Donald Trump permission to play her “Rolling in the Deep” and “Skyfall,” So how long until Trump adds the British onto his anti-immigrant list?

–

President Obama has announced $1 billion in funding over the next two years in an effort to cure cancer. Waiting for the GOP rebuttal.

–

Now Jerry Falwell, Jr, has endorsed Trump. Forget the clown car, it’s looking like SRO on the clown private jet.

–

Apparently a couple of the Denver Broncos’ team buses were involved in a minor traffic accident – “a small wreck” according to one of the players.  No injuries reported. So the biggest wreck in this postseason still remains Carlson Palmer.

–

Jim Harbaugh just wrote that he returned to Michigan because he loves the school and Ann Arbor. Well, that and he was thoroughly out of love with the 49ers and Jed York/Trent Baalke.

–

Another day, another fire story. Maybe if we really want to stop ISIL we should just start shipping them hoverboards.

–

American Airlines is the latest to trumpet that free snacks are coming back to domestic flights. Really amazing, not that many years ago airlines gave us free meals, now they expect gratitude for free snacks. Kind of the travel equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome.

–

The Cleveland Cavaliers’ recent strong play was apparently sparked by a players-only meeting. Not sure what was discussed but maybe “Hey guys, we just got a 30-11 coach fired, if we don’t step it up fans will think it just might be OUR fault.”

–

Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson, told a crowd at a Ted Cruz rally that same-sex marriage is “evil” and “wicked.” Right, instead men should do as he says and did and “marry girls when they’re 15 or 16.” (Phil’ wife Kay was 16.)

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Sinister thoughts

September 21, 2015

In an Oklahoma school, a pre-K student was allegedly forced to write with his right hand and sent home with a note about the “evil” of being left-handed. Waiting for Mike Huckabee or someone to make this about Christianity and religious freedom.

–

Mike Huckabee and some other conservatives ARE upset that, among the 15,000 people Obama has invited to an event for Pope Francis, are a handful of LGBT Catholics and even pro-choice Catholics.

You know who isn’t upset about their inclusion? The Pope.

–

A tourist died and another broke his leg when they fell down a staircase taking selfies at the Taj Mahal. If Darwin were alive he might have to revise his book to add a whole chapter on selfie-sticks.

–

If we could just create a combination gun and selfie-stick, we could cull the herd a lot faster.

–

Scott Walker is dropping out of the Presidential race. So bad news, Wisconsin, for the next few years you’re stuck with him.

–

When the Seahawks beat the Packers in the 2015 NFC Championship, Russell WIlson credited God. And Aaron Rodgers said he didn’t think God “cares a whole lot about the outcome.” But after last night’s Packers win, Rodgers said ” I think God was a Packers fan tonight, so he was taking care of us.”
You never know.. Hey, maybe Jesus had money on Green Bay.

–

Scott Walker said Monday he was “called” to drop out of the race. And God said “Wasn’t me, I was watching the Packers-Seahawks.”

–

A Georgia peanut executive was sentenced to 28 years in prison today for knowingly shipping salmonella-tainted peanut butter, which resulted in hundreds of people getting sick, and at least nine deaths. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate just to sentence him to eating his own peanut butter.

–

SNL‬ has picked  Taran Killi‪am to play ‪Donald Trump. But who’s going to play that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head?

–

After a Vikings fan was beaten after the first game at Levi’s, two Santa Clara City Council members have suggested that the city ban alcohol from the stadium. And 49ers fans are screaming, “Ban booze? Did you see the team against the Steelers, how else are we going to get through the rest of the season?”

–

Both Ted Cruz AND Hillary Clinton rebuked Ben Carson’s comment on a Muslim president by invoking the Constitution

So Clinton and Cruz agree. Now which of them will be the first to have a campaign event with flying pigs?

–

And here, for Dr. Ben Carson, since civics was clearly not required for your medical school education. The U.S. Constitution, Article VI: “The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.”

–

Bus to Hell time:  Monday, Sept 21 is World Alzheimer’s Day. Awful disease, but at least you can use the same greeting card every year.

–

The NFL keeps talking about wanting to reduce injuries. Here’s a simple way to cut them down drastically: Any player who receives a penalty for a play that injures another has to sit until that injured player returns. Up to and including missing the rest of the season.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Comments: 5 Comments

Newer Entries »