Archive for October 2012

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Dying for attention?

October 8, 2012

In Florida, the 32 year-old winner of a roach-eating contest died shortly after downing dozens of the live bugs as well as worms.. Darwin would be so proud. (And what’s scarier than eating roaches? The fact that this guy was a swing-state voter.)

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Could it get any worse for the NY Jets? Well, tonight there was this tweet ““Hey JETS!!!” I’m available! I’m ready, willing & able!” The tweet, no joke, was from Terrell Owens.

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Jerry Sandusky, in a pre-sentencing audio tape, said, “In my heart, I know I did not do these alleged disgusting acts.” Uh, Jerry, your heart might be one of the only innocent parts of your anatomy.

 

Nice job tonight,   Baltimore Orioles.  Good to see that it is still possible to wear Orange and Black on a baseball diamond and score runs.

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TBS announcers actually bragging that for “the first time, MLB network has the playoffs.” Really? Am surprised they don’t tell folks who can’t afford the network and have to follow the games onlne or on radio to eat cake while they’re at it.
(Of course,  let’s be fair, if Roger Goodell could put the Super Bowl on pay-per-view, he would.)

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A recent poll showed a tightening President race but more than 50% of voters polled said it was difficult to know what Romney stood for. Suppose that’s not too bad, since at this point not sure that even Mitt Romney knows what he stands for.

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Mitt Romney said today in a speech that the U.S. needs to be “more assertive” in the Mideast. Apparently we haven’t started enough wars and spent enough trillions yet.

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Monday should have been one of Mitt Romney’s favorite holidays: In many ways Christopher Columbus was the first to really profit from offshoring.

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In Berkeley,  Monday was  “Indigenous People’s Day.” Although these days the California schools are in such bad shape the harder goal may not be learning history but to get kids to be able to spell “Indigenous.”

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In an interview discussing her $10 million reality tv wedding, Kim Kardashian stated “But the next time, I want to do it on an island with just my friends and family and that’s it.” Well, except for a few select reporters and other media representatives.

 

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A former Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader will avoid jail in a plea deal where she admitted having sex with a 17-year-old who was her student at a Northern Kentucky high school. Many were outraged by the deal, especially other boys who wanted her sentenced to teach at THEIR school.

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Another thought about last night’s game at A T and T Park. Was T.S. Eliot really an SF Giants fan before his time “This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper.”

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Maria Shriver is reportedly wearing her wedding ring again, despite Arnold’s new autobiography detailing several affairs and lies. Maybe Schwarzenegger has convinced her that he really is a true Kennedy.

 

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Gary M.   starts this last one off:  “After 30 years of marriage, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have split up. He’s 67, she’s 64…divorcing in their 60′s seems a bit short-sighted.”

TC  adds “That joke went over my head.”

Have at it folks,  this could go on for a while.  The whole thing could be a little much.

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BYO Posts.

October 8, 2012

On days like Sunday  – four MLB playoff games and a full slate of NFL games,  plus college football recaps and a new AP poll… Facebook becomes like a giant sports bar with fans across the country.

 

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GREAT Tigers-As game. How great that all of America got to see these two under-the-radar teams. Oh, wait, never mind, the game was on MLB Network, so they didn’t. Thanks for nothing, Bud Selig.

 

NY Giants WR Victor Cruz has made a new campaign video supporting President Obama.  Uh, is this a good idea on the same weekend the Giants soundly beat a team from the swing state of Ohio?

 

 

I fully expect to wake up tomorrow morning and see the SF Giants’ offense pictured on a milk carton.

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At one point my friend Lindol pointed out that the Giants’ best chance would be for Dusty Baker to take Bronson Arroyo out and hand him the game ball.

 

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At least the Giants’ Guillermo Mota is proving to the world without a doubt that he is no longer using Performance Enhancing Drugs.

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Meanwhile, for gloating Los Angeles fans looking ahead to next year,  Matt Kemp’s surgery did not go as well as expected and the Dodgers star may not be ready at the start of  the 2013 season. “Bummer,” said SF Giants fans, with all the sincerity of a politician a month before the election.

 

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3 of 4 top teams in AP poll are now from SEC. Setting things up perfectly for Alabama to play the winner of South Carolina-Florida in the conference championship, and again in the national title game.

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Another variation on the first grouchy thought:  SF Giants looked flatter than armadillos on Texas highways.

 

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Very nice day for Stanford in the big leagues – first Andrew Luck, now Drew Storen gets the save for the Nationals! Go Cardinal!

 

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Baltimore-New York had a long rain delay Sunday.   Maybe even God is p*ssed about all this schedule juggling for the Yankees 🙂

 

 

Jim Tracy resigned as Colorado Rockies manager today, leaving his $1.4 million salary on the table.  Putting an exclamation point on the phrase  “You can’t pay me enough to deal with this  crap.”

 

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In an interview discussing her $10 million reality tv wedding,  Kim Kardashian stated  “But the next time, I want to do it on an island with just my friends and family and that’s it.”   Well, except for a few select network and other media folks.

 

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And on a serious sports note,  congratulations to Drew Brees for breaking Johnny Unitas’s record with 48 straight games with a touchdown pass.    Yes, it’s a different game, and Unitas called his own plays and the rules favor the offense now.

 

On the other hand, the media is a different game too, 24/7 and Brees has been one of the relatively few NFL superstars to conduct his life in a way where he still has a seriously class act reputation.

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Hidden gem?

October 7, 2012

Oakland A’s vs. Detroit Tigers Sunday morning, playing a noon game, are ONLY on MLB Network. Part of Bud Selig’s plan to make sure football stays our real national pastime?

(No doubt hardcore baseball fans should be able to find some free station showing Yankees highlights.)

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Bad weekend for the tomahawk chop. “Bummer,” said no one outside Atlanta and Tallahassee.

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Bummer for the BCS. Going to be tougher than they expected to schedule that Alabama LSU rematch for the National Championship this year.

 

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The Bachelor’s Ben Flajnik and Courtney Robertson have broken off their engagement. “Wow, I didn’t see that coming,” said absolutely nobody.

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Several Sandusky jurors were interviewed and said the former Penn State assistant coach should receive a life sentence. The others presumably just wish the death penalty were available.

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“The Price is Right” has signed their first male model. “About time” said millions of women. “What the heck is the ‘Price is Right’?” said millions of men.

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Weird baseball trivia for Saturday night. The Cincinnati Reds made it through 2012 without a starting pitcher being injured – and Johnny Cueto didn’t make it out of the first.

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A suspicious package sent to Bristol Palin at CBS Studios caused some consternation on the DWTS set. Wonder what was so suspicious about it. Did someone send her a book?

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More bad news for Mitt Romney. Sesame Street’s “The Count” called. He wants to see those budget figures.

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The SF Giants had Alex Smith throwing out the first pitch for the first game of the playoffs. Maybe it’s as well that the Os eliminated the Rangers. With Romo throwing someone could get hurt.

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Jim Lehrer says he was a “effective” debate moderator last Wednesday night.. By that standard Tony Romo was an “effective” quarterback last Monday night.

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As the infield fly umpiring debacle from last night’s Cardinals-Braves game remains front page sports news – the happiest person in America has got to be Roger Goodell.

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This just in – Mitt Romney both agrees and disagrees with last night’s infield fly call.

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MLB Rule 2.00

October 5, 2012

MLB Rule 2.00 is the infield fly rule.  (which is currently posted on the Atlanta Braves website…. without comment.)

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The rule states that an infield fly is a fair fly ball (not including a line drive nor an attempted bunt) which can be caught by an infielder with ordinary effort.   To give the umpires some benefit of the doubt,  with all the errors Atlanta made tonight, they might have been confused about this “ordinary effort” stuff.

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Women baseball fans are still especially stunned by that so-called infield fly tonight in Atlanta that ended up well into the outfield – normally when men misjudge length they don’t err on the low side.

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Chipper Jones has to be  thinking,  for his last MLB game, maybe he should have loaned the umps his reading glasses?

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Even the replacement refs who saw that play are saying  – “What were they thinking?

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This just in, Al Gore blamed that infield fly call in the Cardinals-Braves game on the altitude.

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Dear Gawd, and Bud Selig thought the worst thing that could happen with this ridiculous one-game playoff idea is that the NY Yankees might end up out of the post-season by the weekend.

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If there’s a karmic silver lining in tonight’s Cardinals-Braves game, is Don Denkinger finally off the hook?

(for non-baseball fans,  Don Denkinger was the umpire whose blown call at first base cost the St. Louis Cardinals the World Series against the Kansas City Royals in 1985.)

Listening to an aging Jack Welch rant today that the unemployment numbers “don’t smell right.” Uh, a potential one word answer on that smell issue – “Depends?”

Another post-debate thought. If Mitt Romney is determined to cut PBS why didn’t he reference a perceived elitist show like “Masterpiece Theater,” instead of “Big Bird,” – one of the most beloved characters on one of the beloved shows in America?

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Ohio State backup QB Cardale Jones tweeted today “Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain’t come to play SCHOOL classes are POINTLESS.” And SEC players responded “What are classes?”

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Jim Lehrer said today that the “The likelihood of my doing another debate in 2016 is, on a scale of one to 10, a minus one.” Hillary Clinton is bummed, she was counting on Lehrer making her look young and vigorous.

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The jobless rate fell to below 8% today. Which the GOP immediately said was bad news for job seekers – specifically Romney and Ryan.

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Amazing that some conservatives who think Obama is the most incompetent President ever still think he has the power to orchestrate a massive conspiracy on the unemployment rate.

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From T.C.  “I  just flew home on American Airlines and sat in rows 15, 14, 11 & 8.

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C is for Cuts?

October 4, 2012

President Obama may have been overly subdued last night, but he’s really on the attack today over Mitt Romney’s promise to cut PBS. In short, Barack is metaphorically “Flipping him the Big Bird.”

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All these folks who figure that Romney really has it in for Big Bird because he wants to cut PBS funding – maybe instead it’s that Mitt has figured out that Bert and Ernie are shacking up together.

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Another mistake from President Obama. He said that last night he “didn’t debate the real Mitt Romney.” As if there was a “real” Mitt Romney.

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Or  did Obama figure it wouldn’t sound presidential to respond “Liar, liar, pants on fire?”

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From my good friend, Michele Eggars,  who doesn’t share my political views  – “I think I heard Obama say say “Not tonight Sweetie, I have a headache”.

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And from Marc Ragovin:   “At the outset of the Presidential debate, Jim Lehrer reminded the audience that one of the ground rules was no cheering. Hell, they just could have bused in a bunch of Red Sox fans.”

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Foxnews.com headline this morning about the debate: “It’s not over.” So this means they thought it WAS over?

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Facebook is reportedly offering some users the chance to pay $7 to promote their posts with better visibility. This worries me less than the idea that they may start charging us to hide stuff like Farmville requests.

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Headline said that the Red Sox didn’t waste any time in firing Bobby Valentine. Some Boston fans would say they wasted a whole year.

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Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin amended 10 years of federal financial reports after he failed to list $130,000 in state pension payments, saying it was an “unintentional oversight.” Does he expect the story to shut down since it was a “legitimate mistake.”

 

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Five University of Missouri freshman football players were suspended after police found them on campus with marijuana in a white Lincoln Navigator. Well, no surprise that students have pot….have to wonder, where are they doing with a Lincoln Navigator?

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NY Jets QB Mark Sanchez is now insisting he’s not worried about the possibility of being replaced by Tim Tebow. Uh, maybe that’s part of the problem.

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New pre-flight announcement on American Airlines? “Please make sure your seat belts are securely fastened and your seats are securely bolted to the floor.”

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TCU starting QB Casey Pachall has been suspended after being arrested for DWI this morning, This after he failed a drug test in February. The lengths some athletes will go to to prove they are NFL ready….

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The Seattle Mariners, last in MLB with a .234 batting average, have fired their hitting coach. Which shocked many Mariners fans – “We HAD a hitting coach?”

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Two longtime vintage bookstores in San Francisco’s Mission District may have to close due to rent hikes. “Bummer,” said most of the 20 somethings who pack the neighborhood’s bars and restaurants. “But what’s a bookstore?”

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Debatable.

October 3, 2012

Now that the debate is over we can get back to the issues that America really cares about, like what really happened in that “American Idol” Mariah Carey – Nicki Minaj catfight?

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For many Americans, tonight’s debate was like a Nascar race, they only tuned in to see the potential wrecks.

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In swing states, tonight’s Presidential debate might be the only television show until November that’s not interrupted by political commercials.

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Watching this debate one thing is clear, do we really want an America where people like Jim Lehrer, 78, have to make complicated and tough decisions about their own healthcare?

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Mitt Romney said Wednesday night  –  “I like coal.” But does he love lamp?

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Anyone else but me would have liked to see a debate tonight between Romney 2012 and that guy who was Governor of Massachusetts from 2003-2007?

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Okay, message from Mitt Romney to those of us who are 50 something. If you are not healthy you are f*cked.

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For those who wanted to watch the debate but didn’t want to miss a baseball game with postseason implications, would like to thank the Boston Red Sox for doing their best to make this entire week irrelevant.  Don’t let the door hit you in the back, Bobby.

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Forget this Presidential debate stuff….what’s the controversy with AL MVP? Trout for Rookie of the Year no doubt, but when compared to a TRIPLE CROWN winner whose team won their division? Fox and MSNBC should both agree on this one.

 

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The Texas Rangers have just been declared the official baseball team of the U.S. Ryder Cup squad.

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According to a CBS Sports story, the Red Sox will fire manager Bobby Valentine this week. “I’m shocked,” said absolutely nobody.

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American Airlines is advertising a new sale, with the tagline ” Take off to cities across the U.S.” Uh, at this point travelers on American aren’t so worried about the take off, they’re worried about how and where they land.

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Big news today for  baseball fans: Teddy Roosevelt actually won the Presidents Race at Nationals Park today. What? Did they shut the other presidents down early?

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Got to love it, heard some NY Jets fan claiming the team will never score if they switch to Tim Tebow at QB. As opposed to last week?

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The Mets R.A. Dickey now admits he pitched the entire season with a torn abdominal muscle. Wonder how many mediocre pitchers are thinking about going out and tearing their own muscles.

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Last thought for the night:   As the Red Sox stagger into the offseason, have to wonder, what if beer and fried chicken were actually PEDs?

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Almost 20 years ago today.

October 2, 2012

19 years ago today, the SF Giants needed to win their 104th game of the year against the LA Dodgers to reach the postseason. Whatever you say about Barry Zito, he’s no Salomon Torres.

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Bummer ending for Dodgers fans. That may be the last time many of them stick around for the ninth inning.

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Of the teams with the seven highest payrolls in MLB, not counting the Dodgers after their big trade, four of them didn’t make the playoffs this year. (Yes, Phillies, Red Sox, Angels and Marlins, I’m talking about you.)

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Bristol Palin is on DWTS again? She wasn’t even a star the first time. Guess she really wants to show young girls that becoming a teen mom can ruin your life.

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A video of Paul Ryan in 2011 has him saying “70% of Americans want the American Dream. Only 30 % want the welfare state.” Does that mean Mitt figures 17% of Americans got lazier in the past year?

 

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NY  GM Brian Cashman said he would like the team to win its 28 World Series as one last gift to his late father, who was a big fan and passed away in September. “How sweet” said children of Yankee fans. “Oh STFU,” said children of Cubs fans.

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MLB has said it could be FRIDAY until game times for Saturday are announced.   Basically so they can assure that NY will be in primetime.  Yankees suck!

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Mitt Romney said today he would honor the temporary visas President Obama granted to some illegal immigrants. Some conservatives were up in arms, others just laughed and decided to wait for next week.

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Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said today last night’s loss “I couldn’t be more disappointed.” And Cowboys fans said “Well, unless you paid your hard-earned money for tickets to that debacle.”

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New Orleans Hornets basketball player Lance Thomas says he doesn’t think he violated any NCAA rules when he bought almost $100,000 in diamond jewelry during his Duke college career. What’s his defense? “It was Duke, didn’t everybody?”

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Ohio State and TCU have signed up to play a “home and home” football series in 2018-19. Of course the way the Big Ten has been playing lately, maybe it’s TCU who considers the Buckeyes “the Little Sisters of the Poor.”

 

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Rough week for American Airlines, now with a flight from Chicago to London needing to divert to Shannon because of a “smoky odor” coming from an overheated fan. Stand by for the merged United-Continental Airlines’ new motto – “We suck less.”

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A fire damaged a home in Berkeley, CA and resulted in an entire block losing power after a seagull flew into a power line. Wonder how long it will take residents to protest having power lines where birds can fly into them.

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From Marc Ragovin:   The Bikini Basketball League is gearing up for its inaugural season. Fans will be rooting for strings of wins, and losses of strings.

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Missed them by that much.

October 1, 2012

Heard Tony Romo threw a tantrum after the Monday Night Football game. The tantrum was picked off by the Bears and returned for a touchdown.

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Who did Romo think he was Monday night?  Brett Favre?

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NY Jets owner Woody Johnson said it was more important to him that Romney win than his team have a winning season. Curiously enough, many Republicans are about as happy with Mitt as the candidate as Jets fans are with Mark Sanchez as their QB.

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A 19-year old is recovering in a Southern California hospital after he fell 60 ft off the side of a water slide at Six Flags Hurricane Harbor. Allegedly he jumped the line, barged past lifeguards and leaped head-first instead of feet-first onto the slide. Somewhere Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.”

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Paul Ryan, lowering expectations about Wednesday:   President Barack Obama’s  “done these kinds of debates before. This is Mitt’s first time on this kind of a stage.”   Does that mean even Ryan couldn’t bear to watch the GOP Primary debates?

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This line noticed by the SF Chronicle’s Debra J. Saunders in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s autobiography:  “Maria and I are very different in that way. She grew up in a world where a sharp line was drawn between friends and the help. With me, there is almost no line.”

You can say that again.

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Okay, the man challenging Nancy Pelosi for her Congressional seat is running an ad comparing Pelosi to a zombie. How silly. Beside the “wtf” nature of the comparison, zombies have more facial expressions.

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Kobe Bryant, 34, said today he got a question earlier about whose team the Lakers are: “I don’t want to get into the, ‘Well, we share …’ No, it’s my team”. Wonder if Tiger Woods, 36, would have said it was HIS Ryder Cup team.

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American Airlines says a Boston-to-Miami flight needed to make an emergency landing at JFK airport over the weekend when a row of seats became loose. Standby later this week for the new “seat bolt” fee.

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NY Jets coach Rex Ryan is still saying that Mark Sanchez at QB “gives us our best opportunity to win.” If true his comments should be great for ticket sales – for the Knicks.

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The 2013 Oscars ceremony will be hosted by “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane. By making this choice five months in advance the Academy is giving themselves plenty of time to pre-write those “Sorry you were offended” emails and letters.

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Mitt Romney is hard at work preparing for Wednesday’s debates. His latest challenge, how to blame the U.S. Ryder Cup challenge on Obama.

(Jim Barach says  “Blame it on Furyk’s caddy Fluff for not knowing how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver.”)

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The Yankees now have a one-game lead in the NL East,  but the way the new playoff system is set up, if the Baltimore Orioles somehow win the East, the NY Yankees, as a wildcard, could be out of the postseason by Friday. Bud Selig is trying to see how quickly he might be able to change the rules.

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Although tonight it was 9-0 Yankees-Red Sox in the third. Boston isn’t just mailing it in, they’re FedExing it in.

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