Author Archive

Even money?

September 12, 2017

So what’s going to happen first, Indians lose a game, or Browns win one?

Not #Chargers fan but MLB or NBA teams can’t call time-outs mid-pitch, or mid-free throw shot, why should NFL be able to do mid-kick?

Warriors signed NBA ad patch deal – $20 mill year w/ Rakuten?! Because Golden State has so much in common w/ Japanese tech company?

Over-under on the first year NBA uniforms will look like NASCAR?

Last night’s Giants Dodgers game ended at 211a, after starting at 1050p.  Now those of us on the West Coast know how watching NL and AL West teams feels to those back East.

 

Lakers will retire not one, but two numbers, 8 & 24, for Kobe Bryant. Well that ought to debunk notion Kobe had biggest ego in NBA.

Especially for my British friends: We always knew Ted Cruz was a wanker. We didn’t know he was REALLY a wanker.

Cruz now says it was a “staffing issue” that led to liking that porn tweet. Does Ted mean he was fantasizing about a staffer?

Accidentally “liking” porn on Twitter doesn’t seem like mistake a young tech-savvy staffer makes. A busy 46 yr-old man on the other hand…

At least Jimmy Carter admitted to “lusting in his heart.”

That moment when you are reading a menu online at a restaurant you are interested in and see that “Cashew Nut Rice” has a star by it. Turns out the star means, not “house speciality” but “contains nuts.” Ya think? #WTF?

If Hillary Clinton’s book #WhatHappened keeps selling so well, Donald  Trump may have to have someone write  another one for him.

Huckabee Sanders- prosecuting ex-FBI director Comey is “something that should be looked at.” That should improve FBI-WH relations #Lordy

Sarah Huckabee Sanders complains #WhatHappened is full of “false & reckless actions. Who does Hillary  Clinton think she is, the President?

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9 people now have died after biggest US 2017 mass shooting in #Plano.  Somehow I missed Donald  Trump tweet of sympathy.

The motive for the Plano shooting apparently was similar to the previous worst US mass shooting of 2017 – an ex-husband angry that his wife had moved on.  So if we really want to keep America safe, where’s the call to deport divorced men?

Never forget

September 11, 2017

But never stop the snark. My motto anyway.  If we stop laughing and being satiric, the bad guys win.

 

#SFGiants & #Dodgers have both been awful lately. Now it’s raining in San Francisco. Maybe God didn’t even want to see these teams play.

 

So wait a minute, didn’t #Saints fire their ineffective defensive coordinator…? The more things change. #MNF

Some horrendous QB play this weekend makes it hard to believe Kaepernick doesn’t have a job. Heck by comparison, Tebow should have a job.

Male privilege. Beth Mowins made her MNF debut tonight and Sergio Dipp gets all the headlines.

So many people lauding Al Gore now about Climate Change.   What if he had just shut up & gone away after losing Presidency. #HillaryClinton #misogyny

#WSJ reports some of Trump’s lawyers thought Jared should have stepped down over Russian contacts issue. #FakeNewsWSJ tweets in 3.2.1..

Problem w/saying that people shouldn’t rebuild in flood zones, is that climate change means we don’t really know where flood zones will be.

What was Steve Bannon doing on 60 minutes. What these clowns need is a new reality show on Fox – “Dancing with the Truth?”

Bannon – Firing of James Comey was the biggest mistake in “modern political history.” Trump “Hold my beer.”

Molly Ivans and Ann Richards would be proud: Miss Texas last night during Miss America: “I think that the white supremacist issue, it was very obvious, that it was a terrorist attack. And I think that President Donald Trump should’ve made a statement earlier addressing the fact, and in making sure all Americans feel safe in this country. That is the number one issue right now.”

Pope Francis: “The President of the United States presents himself as pro-life and if he is a good pro-lifer, he understands that family is the cradle of life and its unity must be protected.”
Time to start a pool on timing of #FakePope tweets?

8 shooting victims in Plano TX. Alleged killer reportedly unhappy wife filed for divorce. A 32-year-old white man. If Muslim-undocumented Trump would tweet condolences. And say it’s why we need a wall and immigration changes. #Sad.

A real man of the people: “The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau recently passed new rules that would have barred Equifax and a number of other financial services companies from using forced arbitration clauses in consumer contracts. However the Trump administration is currently attempting to stop those rules from going into effect.”

And they’re off.

September 10, 2017

Only week one but does look like there’s going to be some serious competition for NFL’s 2018 number 1 draft pick.

Well, at least the SF 49ers outscored the SF Giants today.  (Barely, 3 to 1)

Though at least SFGiants may have made it easier for SF49ers fans this year -they’ll only have to watch their team lose once a week.

Meanwhile, wonder what the record is for the longest losing streak by an MLB team that won 100 games during the regular season. Assuming the Dodgers get to 100 games.

 

Well at least for a week folks in Washington will have a diversion from usual complaining about Congress in complaining about the Redskins.

 

Ezekiel Elliott, on the injunction that means he can play this year  “I’m just relieved for the fact that I finally get a fair trial.”

Suppose it would be tacky to start a pool on his next incident?

First Harvey in Texas, then Irma in Florida, now #SteveBannon on 60 Minutes. Hasn’t America suffered enough?

As some bizarre stories emerge from Hurricane Irma,  let me say that I fully support the right of people to go after Darwin awards for themselves. But it really sucks when they endanger rescuers.

Trump says U.S. may have gotten a “little bit lucky” with Irma veering west. Translation, it didn’t damage Mar-a-Lago?

A little good news.   After the caretaker decided to ride out the storm, the Hemingway House and all its cats survived  Hurricane Irma.   Although guessing if the cats could talk they would ask to be transferred to the care of a smarter human.

 

Police shot & killed a man who  allegedly fatally shot 7 people during Dallas Cowboys watch party in Plano, TX.   Move along, nothing to see here. #Murica

(unless of course it comes out tomorrow that the alleged gunman was either undocumented or Muslim)

From TC  “Rogers Communications, the parent company of the Toronto Blue Jays have just announced that they will give $1 of every ticket sold on Monday vs Baltimore to Florida Hurricane relief funds. Average price of a ticket is ~$60. Who knew the head of Rogers was named Ebenezer?”

An ill wind

September 10, 2017

Really rough time for Florida. But have to figure some residents are at least getting a smile out of watching Urban Meyer lose. #OhioState

Indians have won 17 games straight. 2017 #SFGiants consider 17 wins a good two months.

 

Colin Kaepernick may not have the skill set to be a starting NFL QB. But at this point doesn’t look like Andy Dalton does either.

At least #SFGiants don’t have to worry about sign-stealing. This year no other team would want them.

Wonder if any Joe Paterno apologists will change their minds today. Sadly thinking they were some of first on the #FakeNews bandwagon.
 –
Wonder how many fans who profess to be upset w/ NFL players sitting during the anthem use that time themselves for bathroom or beer break?
Because of the hurricane we need to “speed up” tax cuts? So millionaires can build sturdier mansions? #WTF? #@realdonaldtrump

A Florida man suggested shooting guns at Hurricane Irma out of “stress and boredom.”  And apparently over 54,000 have signed up to join in.  Good to know that even in the worst of times, some Floridians remain committed to upholding their state’s reputation.

Hillary Clinton “I’m done with being a candidate.” Your turn, Bernie.

Quite a quandry for Facebook if Zuckerberg ever runs for President: Would site accept big $$$ from Russians running ads again him?

The Norwegian Escape cruise ship is waiting out Irma at sea with 4,000 people and unlimited booze. Imagine a whole lot of drunken karaoke versions of Gilligan’s island “A three-hour tour…”

 

Clicked on a FB link about John McCain saying he’s “facing a challenge.” And yes, brain cancer is horrible. But even more horrible are some of the comments, “hurry up and die,” mostly from people who claim McCain hasn’t been a good enough Republican. You almost hope they’re Russian bots, because humans shouldn’t be that nasty.

Weak one.

September 9, 2017

Roger Goodell, when asked if a team should sign Colin Kaepernick – “I’m not a football expert.” When the commissioner is right, he’s right.

 –

Patriots fans feeling a bit deflated this morning.

Tom Brady called out Patriots last night over “our attitude & our competitiveness. ” So now the big question WWGS – Who will Gisele blame?

 

What’s bigger shock tonight for #SFGiants fans -that Pablo Sandoval broke 0-39 streak w/ home run, or that Matt Moore pitched well for a win.

Words I never expected to write: Buster Posey steals home.

Meanwhile the Dodgers had a 4 run first inning against Colorado to break their losing streak at 7 games….. Oops, never mind.  (5-4 loss)

Remembering those bumper stickers “God is coming and boy is she pissed.” Not sure about God but Mother Nature sure seems unhappy.

Worrying where Irma will hit next, is it too late to rename storm ‘Hurricane 2017 SFGiants?” Because we all know they rarely hit anything.  #bustohell

Eric Bolling is out at #FoxNews, allegedly for sexting photos to colleagues.   Guys, here’s a quick safety tip – NO women want to see pictures of your junk.

Amazing how many people who don’t believe scientists on climate change now do believe in the National Weather Service.

Hey @realDonaldTrump, until we survive #Irma maybe time to put tweets on tax reform & attacking Congress on hold for a while? #priorities

 

 

 

 

From T.C.   “Interesting to note that Tampa, Miami and the NE defense in the 4th Q all just used their Bye Weeks in week 1.”

When I moved from Florida to California, friends asked how I could deal with the idea that we could have a major earthquake any minute. Now, admittedly there are moments when you worry, especially after a small quake, or when you think you hear or feel something.
But I thought then, and now, in some ways much easier to have no idea what might be coming, than to know a hurricane is coming, and not be able to do anything but hunker down or evacuate.
Wishing the best for everyone in Florida tonight, seriously.

Thursday night

September 7, 2017

Apparently the Chiefs watched the 4th quarter of last year’s Super Bowl.

2017 is a weird @MLB year. #SFGiants somehow turned into the #Phillies, and now the #Dodgers are trying to turn into the #SFGiants.

Grant Bisbee of McCovey Chronicles notes “The Giants have outscored the Dodgers in the second half of the season.”
Clearly a sign of the apocalypse.

Urban Meyer says it drives him “insane” when 1st-year coaches complain, saying once you start “they’re YOUR players.” Well, except after Meyer left Florida when some of them also belonged to parole officers.

Clippers are offering new courtside seats with all-inclusive club access, waiter service and valet parking. ESPN reports a source says the price is $175,000 a seat. Well, it’s not as if buyers will have to save money for several rounds of playoff tickets.

So the world’s chances of avoiding a nuclear holocaust may come down to Dennis Rodman?

Zander Venezia, 16 yr-old pro surfer died while surfing in Barbados during Hurricane Irma. A fellow surfer said his last words before heading out again were “I just got the best wave of my life!”
Venezia hoped to go to the Olympics, but at least he might be this year’s front-runner for the top Hurricane Darwin Award.

 · 

All these people who don’t believe in Climate change shouldn’t fear Irma, because weather forecasting is you know, science.

Equifax says  hackers accessed 143 million social security numbers, birthdays, addresses & driver licenses. Hey, that’s only almost every adult in US.

So how come hackers can even access info from companies in business of data security like Equifax, & no one’s gotten Trump’s tax returns?

Don Jr said he met with Russian lawyer to learn Hillary’s “fitness” to be President. If he said it with a straight face he’s better actor than dad.

In Trump world:   Dreamers were capable of making illegal decisions as toddlers but Donald Jr , 39, is a “good boy” & Ivanka, 35, calls him “Daddy.”

Trump tells Dreamers for 6 months they’ll have nothing to worry about – “no action.” Same as doctors sometimes say about inoperable cancer.

Steve Bannon, Catholics support #DACA because “they need illegal aliens to fill churches.” Yeah,can see why religious right supported Trump.

Betsy DeVos announced plans to rewrite Obama-era campus sexual assault policy to better protect accused students. And this is a woman who has daughters?

Devos, wanted to”advance God’s kingdom” through education, now works for pussy-grabber. Should we be surprised by today?

Okay, Trump actually released a list of charities that are getting his and Melania’s $1 million donation. If true, good for him.
See, I can say something nice about Trump. Don’t get used to it. 🙂

CSI – Fenway?

September 7, 2017

The Red Sox, who themselves admitted stealing signs with an Apple watch, now say they have  “video evidence” of the Yankees using a  camera also to steal signs.

Stand by for 2018 BOS-NY games not only on ESPN but also covered on CSI?

 

For first time in recent memory,  SF Giants  actually gained a game on Dodgers.  Now only 38.5 games out. #smallmercies

 

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Lots of rumors earlier this year that #SFGiants might have traded Joe Panik. Lots of playoff-bound teams now wish they had him.
SF Giants sent an email to fans suggesting they use “Giants FanCam” And “Tag Yourself in our 360 degree photo view of AT&T Park at your most recent Giants game!
Uh, right about now, not sure how many people want to admit they are going to Giants games.

 

 

New US govt report found women between ages of 40-59 aren’t getting enough sleep. Waiting for the next study that will find water is wet.

I sure do miss days when the biggest controversy of the day was whether the new cast of #DWTS Dancing with the Stars really were stars.

 

Facebook reportedly is telling advertiser it can reach 25 million more people in the US than census data shows exist. Well, hey, guess Russian bots need friends too?

Rush Limbaugh on Irma “These storms, once they actually hit, are never as strong as they’re reported.” Maybe he should go report on this travesty in person?

 

FEMA is already running out of money after Harvey and before Irma. But hey, the priority for Americans’ safety is a wall? @realDonaldTrump

Fed Vice Chair Stanley Fischer stepping down and cited “personal reasons.” As in he’s personally tired of Trump?

 

How long until GOP leaders who supported Trump realize they were enacting US version of Colin Powell’s Pottery Barn   “You break it you buy it” policy.

Can anyone imagine GOP response if an Obama daughters, or even Michelle, just dropped by closed White House meetings to say “hello? #WTF?

 

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Steve King doesn’t believe DACA should be fixed, and says Dreamers “continue to live the objective that they sought to achieve when they illegally entered America. Live in the shadows.”
Right, because six-year olds tell their parents their dream is to leave home and grow up to live in the shadows? #WTF?
Over the years I have met many people who I knew were undocumented. Often they had just stayed past tourist or student visas. And in several cases they were Caucasians from Britain. Just guessing that if they are still “illegal” the Brits and children are not the Dreamers fearing ICE prosecution.
(a friend points out that the largest group overstaying visas is now Asian.  But Trump isn’t talking about going  after them, or putting walls around airports.

Teams of the weak?

September 6, 2017

If misery loves company then for the last couple weeks @Dodgers & @SFGiants should be best of friends.

Although for now SF Giants in 2017 are great MLB team to watch for those who hate idea of fatalities but love watching major trainwrecks.

At this point Pablo Sandoval,  0 for his laste 36, is making SF Giants fans long for the major-league hitting ability of Tim Tebow.

Magic Johnson, who is now Lakers president of operations, says the team can take the NBA’s $500,000 tampering fine over Paul George out of his paycheck. And other teams are thinking $500k to tamper? Heck, we can raise our Presidents’ salaries by that much and really work on free agents.

Dolphins- Buccaneers regular-season opener Sunday postponed until Nov 19 due to Irma. So both teams will be undefeated into NFL week 2.

USC used blind long snapper Jake Olson in win Sat. over Western Michigan. Good for Olson. What’s his next step, becoming an NFL referee?

Or an MLB ump?

New York Jets are 1,000-1 to win the Super Bowl in Las Vegas. So you’re saying there’s a chance.

If Trump was so proud of decision to end DACA he’d have called a press conference instead of sending Sessions out to do it for him. Period.

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 –
Dolphins to move weekend game against Buccaneers this weekend over Hurricane Irma  Well, not as if it’s anything really important in FLA, like college football.

Ezekiel Elliott’s  6 game suspension upheld for now, but latest delay means he will play in NBC’s nationally televised Sunday Night game.   Sure it’s just a coincidence

 

2 horrific hurricanes, major LA fires & record Northern Calif temperatures in a week. Would hate to see weather if climate change was real.

Trump claims he’s not punishing children but #DACA unconstitutional. Also claims he can make the rules. So why doesn’t he issue his own EO? A biglier and better EO. protecting Dreamers than Obama.

Notice those defending Trump on #DACA decision are all people whose ancestors immigrated here early enough they aren’t affected by it.

So bad enough @realDonaldTrump wouldn’t announce his #DACA ban in person. But did he have to traumatize children by sending a Keebler elf?

Got it., so President Obama’s #DACA executive order is unconstitutional, but Trump can regularly change laws with tweets.

How low can you go?

September 4, 2017

As awful as the  SF Giants have played in 2017, the Dodgers might be playing worse this week. #Miserylovesevenbriefcompany

And Giants pitchers haven’t given up four home runs in one game to J.D. Martinez. Yet.

But now SF Giants high-priced closer Mark Melancon will need surgery. Well, at least this won’t be a problem in the playoffs. #2017

Texas’s loss to Maryland was a really embarrassing way for the state to start college football season. Texas A and M: “Hold my beer.”

But really,  who do the #Aggies think they are, the Atlanta #Falcons#UCLA

Because nothing says NCAA is really about amateur student athletes like Monday Night COLLEGE football…. #TENNvsGT

Another reason to be an Anglophile: Britain gets Prince William & Kate announcing they’re having a 3rd child, while the US gets Kim and Kanye are breeding a third child via a surrogate.

 

Great moments in travel. When you have a tight international connection, have to go through Passport control, and the woman in front of you absolutely cannot find her boarding pass in her purse.  Then she starts digging in her rolling bag, and after a few minutes she triumphantly produces it. And security guy sighs. “That is your arrival boarding pass.”. Search begins again. And second security person waves those behind her into another line.

 

A Carlow University junior apparently died earlySunday morning while “train hopping.” The University issued a statement expressing sympathy for the “tragic accident.”
Now, we were all young once, and I do feel really sad for her friends and family. But isn’t “train-hopping” less a “tragic accident” and more a Darwin?

First Harvey, now LA Fire, and Irma approaching. Call it climate change, global warming, whatever you want; but Mother Nature seems pissed.

 

CNN reports that Mexico plans to send 25 trailers full of supplies including rice, beans, coffee and chocolate for Texas flood victims. Let’s hope Trump doesn’t order them stopped at the border.

Trump to get rid of DACA, but giving Congress 6 months to replace What if they just take Obama’s name off & call it Trump Dreamer act?

So who had South Korea in Trump insult bingo?

 

With National Prayer Day this weekend “by Presidential Proclamation,” can someone remind @realDonaldTrump that Jesus said “suffer little children to come unto me” not make children suffer for coming here.

When it gets right down to it Trump just can’t stand that not only was Obama more popular than him, 44 gets more popular every day

 

Choking on a cupcake

September 3, 2017

 

So how many SEC teams have taken Howards off their potential future cupcake list? #UNLV

Houston was a 45 point underdog, making the game, as far as the Vegas spread, the biggest upset in college football history.

The previous record holder was Stanford, who upset USC 10 years ago as a 39 point underdog.  No real point to bring that up, except that I just like writing it.  #Nerdnation

Meanwhile, the Dodgers have lost 7 of 8. Maybe that series with SF Giants in mid September will be a competitive one after all?

 

-Todd Marinovich, 48, went 19 for 28 for 262 yards and 7 TDs in his debut with the SoCal Coyotes, a developmental pro team.   Alas, another QB who is likely to get a job offer before Colin Kaepernick

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It’s been a really tough week for Houston. But at least #Astros not only are able to play at home, they get to play #Mets#Smallmercies

Meanwhile, Texas lost their football opener to…. Maryland.    Would that this were a normal time where that would be the worst story for many state residents in a week.

 

North Korea just conducted a nuclear test. And this is the country where Trump thinks he’s had his biggest foreign policy success.

Trump on Harvey in Houston ” As tough as this was, it’s been a wonderful thing, I think, even for the country to watch and the world to watch. It’s been beautiful.” WTF?

Trump called for a National Day of Prayer. Guess no one told him “You cannot serve both God and mammon.”

And of course in Houston Trump has to put on gloves and claim “My hands are too big. #Priorities #Harvey

 

 

If we’re going to have a nuclear apocalypse this weekend guess it’s okay to have that second or third glass of wine?

Black smoke seen coming from soon-to-be closed Russian Consulate in SF, they say “just cleaning.” Burning Donny & Vlad’s love letters?

#WhyTrumpBlockedMe Hasn’t happened yet. But important to have goals.

The smallest of mercies?

September 1, 2017

Brock Osweiler will go down in history as the only undefeated Cleveland Browns quarterback.

LSU football coach Ed Orgeron,  says for “competitive advantage” over his opponents, that the team will keep 2017 suspensions/discipline private. Translation, stars will get their wrists slapped really HARD.

Wonder how many @MLB pitchers have had their best outing of the year against #SFGiants?

 

MLB admitted that the replay umpires in San Francisco made a mistake last night and took a two-run home run away from Brandon Crawford. Well, heck, that could be the difference this year between the Giants losing 99 and 100 games.

But forget the Cowboys. Real “America’s team” is now the Houston Astros.

Serena Williams has given birth to a baby girl. The child has just been installed as an odds-on 2037 Wimbledon favorite.

 

A passenger onboard a Hawaiian Airlines flight from Honolulu to New York was so disruptive that the plane had to turn around and return to Hawaii. This week he was ordered to pay the airline almost $100,000
Airlines are thinking, hmm, hiring lawyers to deal with jerks might be more profitable than flying planes.

Too soon to tell, and with luck Hurricane  Irma will fall apart before becoming   a serious threat to the US or Caribbean. But a worst case scenario has it hitting the Southeast Coast of US hard.    Which could include Mar-a-Lago;  so if we are ever going to see some actual Trump empathy….

Can we start a pool on what fired-resigned Trump official most likely to end up on Dancing With The Stars?

The Kenyan Supreme Court has ordered a redo of their controversial Presidential election. You can do that? Asking for a country.

 

I guess I missed the Trump tweet taking credit for the August jobs report.

White House says #DACA decision will be announced Tuesday. #WTF? DId they also announce who will be the decision’s commercial sponsor?

A terror alert over someone “acting weird” caused tourists to be locked inside Eiffel Tower tonight. Fear itself is winning. #Paris

 

 

Missed it by more than that much

August 31, 2017

On a brighter note for SF Giants fans, this isn’t a season like 2002 or 2016 where you think all winter about ONE game that got away.

Los Angeles Lakers fined $500,000 for violating NBA’s anti-tampering rule after, as ESPN reports, “GM Rob Pelinka was found to have had contact with Paul George’s agent after the team had already been warned.”
$500,000? Isn’t that about has much as the team wasted for a couple games on Kobe Bryant in the last year of his contract?

Tiger Woods has been given clearance by his doctore to start “pitching golf balls.”  At this point this seems to be as likely to result in success as Tim Tebow’s hitting baseballs.

So with resigning as Sheriff, who’s got him in the pool being hired by before ?

 

Well, of course we know President Obama wasn’t golfing during Katrina. He was too busy altering his Kenyan birth certificate. #sarcasm

 

Trump reportedly to rescind #DACA. Because nothing says humanitarianism after US natural disaster in US like kicking immigrant children out.In polite response to a friend who says Trump still “better than Hillary,” we don’t know what she would be. We know what he is. #deplorable

Not just a numbers game?

August 30, 2017

Florida has now suspended starting RB Jordan Scarlett & WR Rick Wells for the Michigan game, bringing the total of suspended players for the game to 10. Or as many SEC players consider that, higher math.

With all the bad press NFL players get, often deservedly so, may I just say that JJ Watt seems to be a seriously fine human being.

Astros returning to Houston on Saturday for a double header against NY. Which Astros president Reid Ryan says is a “welcome distraction for our city that is going through a very difficult time. We hope that we can put smiles on some faces.”
Well, it helps that the team gets to face the Mets.

SF Giants’ Matt Moore, 4-13, has 5.49 ERA, highest of any qualified NL starting pitcher. The curse of Skeeter? #MattDuffy

So if USA has money to build a wall, should be easy to divert $$$$ for now to Harvey relief and infrastructure?

 

-Trump on FEMA director Long “a man who’s really become very famous on television over last couple of days.” Working w/ Frederick Douglas?

 

A Houston mattress and furniture store opened itself to Hurricane Harvey victims as a shelter,  Paging Joel Osteen, this is what a House of God really is….

“What a crowd, what a turnout,” Trump in Texas. Even average narcissistic sociopaths have to be appalled.

Facebook will start censoring pages that publish #FakeNews So much for those who go to FB to get updates from #FoxNews

 

Heard the news of an accident in Paris while listening to an SF Giants game, then drove to San Francisco for a 15th anniversary dinner at Fleur de Lys, where everyone, instead of going into dinner, was gathered around a small TV in the bar, as networks had just announced her death. Hard to believe it’s been 20 years. RIP Diana, Princess of Wales.

and a short detour on the bus to hell courtesy of Roberta K.  “Re: Melania’s shoes — an online friend of mine commented, “Melania heard they needed pumps in Houston.”

Ill winds.

August 29, 2017

 

Texas Rangers refused to swap locations for series with the Houston Astros after Hurricane Harvey.   And Dallas Cowboys are going, wow, we may not even be the most hated team in Texas anymore.

 

 

Trump in Texas on #Harvey “There’s probably never been something so expensive in our country’s history.” Now, about that wall….

Melania Trump caused a stir by showing up in Texas with her husband to make an appearanc after Harvey in  $600 Manolo Blahnik stilettos.  To be fair, they were BLACK $600 Manolo Blahnik stilettos.  Not like Melania would be disrespectful in bright colors.

Megachurch preacher Joel Osteen might turn out to be a rich asshole who doesn’t really care about people. I’m shocked.

Really hoping that a lot of people who might have donated to Joel Osteen’s church decide instead to give money to Hurricane Harvey relief.

Re #NashvilleStatement – Wise words “We shall be free. When we’re free to love anyone we choose.” From that commie-pinko Garth Brooks.

The CFL Hamilton Tiger-Cats announced Art Briles will not join their staff. Translation, the news about Baylor just reached Canada?

These days it’s almost a relief to wake up and see #BachelorinParadisetrending on Twitter.

SF Giants sending email ads already for “Giants autumn attire.” Guess there’s no need to wait for anything with potential postseason logos.

“All options are on the table.” Wait, wasn’t North Korea Trump’s foreign policy great victory? Who knew diplomacy could be so complicated?

Boston’s Logan Airport is considering charging fees to drivers who drop off or pick up passengers. Airlines are incensed. Mostly that they didn’t think of it first.

 

Finding meaning?

August 28, 2017

J.J Watt says if @NFL actually plays 8/31 Texans Cowboys game they should fundraise for Houston. A possible actual meaningful preseason game?

The Hamilton Tiger-Cats of the Canadian Football league have hired former Baylor football coach Art Briles as an assistant coach. As if an 0-8 season wasn’t embarrassment enough.

Okay, for something we can have bipartisan agreement on just being WRONG, FedEx just sent out their 2017 Holiday (as in Christmas) schedule.

Amazon cut some Whole Foods prices up to 43%. As if regulars don’t feel somewhat ripped off for having shopped at Whole Foods already.

A new study says four cups of coffee per day can lower risk of death. Is this of the drinker, or the people around him or her if someone with that much of a habit doesn’t get their morning caffeine?

Don’t even watch #GameofThrones but pretty sure season finale involved a lot of people dying?

Mexico is offering aid to USA. Should anyone who wants to build that wall turn it down? @realDonaldTrump

Scientists say climate change causes more extreme weather patterns. But I’m sure Trump and friends will say Harvey is just a coincidence.

If both alt-right & Antifa have so much energy for protests/counter-protests maybe they can call temporary truce & help in Texas? #Harvey

20,000 cruise passengers stuck aboard ships who can’t disembark in Galveston. Presume lots of karaoke versions of Gilligan’s Island?

 

Jennifer Detlefsen, daughter of Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke, on Trump’s transgender ban. “This man is a disgrace. I’ve tried to keep politics out of my social media feed as much as possible, but this is inexcusable. This veteran says sit down and shut the fuck up, you know-nothing, never-served piece of shit. #itmfa #wtf
Another fun Thanksgiving dinner ahead….

Okay, who needed #Finland for the win in Trump Insult Bingo?

 

Because finally, poetry, why not?   From British poet Jon Stallworthy, a poem I remember liking in college a long time ago. For Finland. About a time when they were getting along so well with Russia in 1939.

Snow inexhaustibly
falling on snow! Those whom
we fight are so many,
Finland so small,
where shall we ever find room
to bury them all?

High water mark?

August 27, 2017

With the #bustohell caveat, #HurricaneHarvey could be the worst weekend for Houston since the Oilers-Bills playoff game in 1993.

 

Some people thought a 30.5 point spread for Stanford vs Rice was crazy. They were right.

But have to  wonder after seeing Stanford, ranked #14 pre-season, despite a potentially suspect offense, beat Rice 62-7,  how many SEC teams are scrambling to get the Owls on their schedule?

Browns named DeShone Kizer regular season starting QB against Steelers. So modern day equivalent of naming deck chair manager on Titanic?

 

Mayweather apparently denied betting $400,000 on himself Saturday for McGregor fight. What a shame, guy only ended up pocketing $100 mill.

So now some of us can go back to not caring about boxing without having to ignore all the headlines.

– Meg Whitman has stepped down as chairman of HP’s board on Wednesday,  fueling rumors that despite her denials of going to Uber, that the ride-share company will soon name her as CEO.  So, if so, how did Uber change Meg’s mind – a offer with surge pricing ?

No jokes, doctors are reporting seeing patients who put sunscreen on their eyes to watch the eclipse.  On the bright side for some conservatives, this does tend to shoot down Darwin’s theory of evolution.

 

On same subject,  now at least five dead in Texas. Which is sad. Though have to wonder how many of them were “refused to evacuate” Darwin award winners?

Honda confirms digital clocks on older models Pilot SUVs and Odyssey minivans have reset themselves to 00:00. Meanwhile USA GOP trying to reset our country to 1950s.

With a barrage of Twitter attacks Sunday on Mexico has it occurred to Trump that the might need their Southern neighbor’s help after Hurricane Harvey?

As govt tries to help Texas, be nice if Senator Cruz or Cornyn actually apologized for voting against Federal funding for Hurricane Sandy.

 

So someone did tell Trump that people in Texas can’t read his  self congratulatory tweets if  their phones are underwater?

 

What meaningless games?

August 26, 2017

Actually sorry for Julian Edelman, out for the year with torn ACL. But just guessing that outside about a 100 mile radius from Boston, no one’s shedding too many tears for #Patriots.

Oregon State is not helping #Pac12 starting off the year in fighting East Coast bias.

Uncertainly over Isaiah Thomas’s hip could lead to #Cavs voiding trade w/ #Celtics. Oops, Boston fans asking “how do you unburn a jersey?

As NFL injuries pile up, guessing seriously  most season ticket holders would be happier w/ higher regular season  ticket prices & fewer pre-season games.

 

Well, #Stanford and #Rice‘s decision to play today in Sydney instead of Houston is looking pretty prescient.

 

Three Carnival Cruise Line ships will extend cruises a day to delay return to Galveston over Hurricane Harvey.  The important question  for passengers – do they get free drinks?

Terror suspect arrested in London with a sword at Buckingham Palace, causes minor injuries to 3 policemen.
Meanwhile, on the M1 Highway about 90 minutes from London, 8 die in a massive traffic accident where 2 men arrested for dangerous driving.
Proving, once again, we have a lot more to fear from stupidity (especially when combined with testosterone) than terrorism.

Am I the only one who doesn’t care that spoilers were released for the #GameOfThrones season finale?

At least Texans who don’t believe in climate change & science, like the National Weather Service, had a few days of blissful ignorance before weekend. #HurricaneHarvey

Trump has pardoned Arpaio. There may be good people “on many sides.” Sheriff Arpaio isn’t one of them.

Trump doesn’t brag about firing neo-Nazi #Gorka, but brags about pardoning racist monster #Arpaio   Sad

 

Homeland Security Adviser Bossert – Trump’s Camp David weekend “isn’t a trip. I wouldn’t characterize it as a trip.” Translation, no golf.

Scariest thing on #TrumpPardon: If he pardoned Arpaio, who wouldn’t he pardon?

(Tony Bruno suggests “The interuption?”)

Joe Arpaio today ” I told my wife I don’t want nothing to do with politics, but now I’ve got to rethink that. I think I’ve got a big political message to get out.”
So does Trump think he’s going to appoint Arpaio to replace Sessions as Attorney General?

If you aren’t convinced yet on Arpaio, remember Maricopa County voters, who knew him best, voted him out of office last year. #TrumpPardon

 

So why didn’t just build a wall to keep out?

Posted before the fight – From TC  “Mayweather 49-0   57-0 if u include women.”

An ill wind

August 25, 2017

 

Two Chicago bars are boycotting NFL games on TV until Colin Kaepernick is signed. Wonder how they’d feel if Kap were a bear who played like Cutler.

Shame that #Yankees #Tigers are done playing for the season. At this point, fans might pay more for a rematch than Mayweather McGregor.

Kevin Durant on Kyrie Irving saying he wanted a trade “he showed a lot of courage, man, because it’s hard to take that type of criticism.” Hey, it’s a free country. But courage, yeah, okay, so what kind of medal shall we give him?

 

For all worries about terrorists with cars, think most Americans are at more serious risk from 80-90 somethings who still insist on driving.

Now it’s #Corker. Has there ever been anyone who criticizes @realDonaldTrump who he doesn’t lash out at like an petulant angry child?

Good luck to everybody. They’re going to be safe.” Is that Trumpian for “The coastal towns tend Democrat so f*ck them?” #HurricaneHarvey

 

Hurricane Harvey really upended Trump’s weekend plans. Forced him to go to Camp David instead of Bedminster & maybe forego golf. #TheHorror

As we watch approach of #HurricaneHarvey think George W. Bush might be forgiven for thinking “They complained about me with Katrina?”

Wishing the best for Texans during #HurricaneHarvey. But hoping they all remember that Ted Cruz voted against federal relief after Sand

A reminder to share with anyone in Harvey’s path. This old joke  was popular after Katrina:
Police in New Orleans knock on a woman’s door and tell her to evacuate. She responds “No, God will save me.”
Then floodwaters come into her street. People come by in a boat and tell her to get in. She responds “No, God will save me.”
Then the water level reaches into her house so she has to climb on the roof. And a rescue helicopter comes by with people yelling her to grab a rope ladder. She responds “No, God will save me.”
Then the water washes over the roof and she drowns.
At the pearly gates she asks “God, why didn’t you save me?”
And God says, “I sent police, a boat and a helicopter. What did you want?”

Not so old Man-u

August 24, 2017

Manu Ginobili signed 2-year, $5mill deal with Spurs. Of course San Antonio saves some money since Manu’s health costs covered by Medicare.

 

Unclear on the concept. Celtic fans  fans burning Isaiah Thomas jerseys. They do realize he was TRADED right? Not his choice. #cantfixstupid

 

So if these brawls keep up can we expect to see #Yankees #Tigers on pay-per-view?

Down goes Frazier.  (Clint)    Not exactly what you expect in a baseball game.

Amazon says they will lower some prices at Whole Foods Monday. Good news for shoppers who will now be able to lower their lines of credit.

RIP Jay Thomas, 69, Eddie LeBec on Cheers. Instead of a hearse maybe he can be taken to his funeral in a Zamboni?

So does Trump remember who his FEMA director is? #Harvey

Lots of great people in Texas.   Wishing them the best. And hoping they all remember that their Senator Ted Cruz voted against Federal Funding for hurricane relief after Sandy.

The Obamas were seen this week in Cambridge helping Malia move into Harvard.  Think anyone’s told Trump that Tiffany started law school?

Gunman shot after holding hostages in #Charleston. Not terrorism, just “disgruntled employee” w/ gun. Nothing to see here. Unless he turns out to be undocumented.

An audit shows a plan to streamline University of California, payroll systems will take 5 years longer than planned, and cost triple the original estimates, almost $1 billion.
Maybe next year they should hire people from Stanford?

Powerball winner says first thing she is going to do is quit her job. Points for honesty. “The money won’t change me at all..

 

Turns out lottery-winer Mavis Wanczyk’s ex-husband was killed in a hit-and-run crash last year. Sad. But, at least no alimony battles. #bustohell

Happy #NationalWaffleDay – So it only took 7 months to get a day in Trump’s honor?

Is there anyone in Washington @realDonaldTrump hasn’t feuded or isn’t feuding with? Who knew being President could be so complicated?

Almost but not perfect.

August 23, 2017

Ok, even to watch that happen to a Dodger that was kinda painful.   #Baseballisthecruelestgame

In the 9th inning,  Rich Hill had a perfect game in a 0-0 tie.   Until an error at 3rd base.   Logan Forsythe has a great chance to be in a Southwest commercial.   #wannagetaway

(Then in the 10th inning, Hill gave up a leadoff home run and lost the game.)

Hank Aaron saying Colin Kaepernick “getting a raw deal” and called for NFL team to sign him.
Thinking this problem will work itself out; as much of a distraction as Kap might be, won’t be long into season before some team decides their QB really sucking will be a worse one.

Over 1,000 people rallied in NY on behalf of Colin Kaepernick. Wonder how many of them would cheer him after a few months as QB of NY Jets.

USC unveiled a statue of Queen Hecubaa, Queen of Troy, at their new USC village. And they spelled Shakespeare’s name as “Shakespear.”
Nobody tell the Stanford Band.

ESPN pulled an Asian-American announcer from calling UVA game because his name is #RobertLee. Even @theOnion thinking “that’s a stretch.”
Celtics traded with Cavs for Kyrie Irving. Which to 25 or so teams with 0 chance to win  NBA title is about as relevant as celebrities swapping wives.

Taylor Swift  has announced her newest album. Wonder how many boyfriends she had to break up with to write it?

 

At this point @Scaramucci has to be feeling like Chief Bromden after he threw that water fountain though the window. #CuckoosNest

Samsung is launching their Galaxy Note 8.0 So will it be an explosive announcement?

So Trump plans to shut down the government if needed to build his wall? Yea, bullying congress has worked so well with healthcare.

Well of course Trump will pardon Joe Arpaio. At this point former sheriff one of few Americans who might take job in Trump administration

Paul Ryan warning Trump not to shutdown govt over wall. Wonder how many GOP secretly wishing they were just dealing w/ President Clinton.

 

Reports are that WSJ editor Gerard Baker has been angering reporters by his support of Trump, asking them to soften coverage and saying “Could we just stick to reporting what he said.”
Uh, except sometimes that’s part of the problem.

 

Trump is giving Pentagon 6 months to kick out transgender service people deemed ‘non-deployable.’ But will Trump be around in 6 months?