Author Archive

« Left Coast Sports Babe home page
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

Sarah Palin’s 5 “W”s of Journalism…

March 25, 2009

Governor Sarah Palin this week unleashed yet another diatribe against the media who she is still blaming for the Republicans’ poor showing last November. Palin says that journalists have forgotten the 5 “W”s of journalism. Which I guess to her are “Who, what, when,where and whine.”

–
As the NCAA basketball tournament starts up again tomorrow the lowest remaining team is 12 seed Arizona. Since the Wildcats are riding a 25 year straight run of tournament appearances, isn’t calling them a Cinderella kind of like saying your underdog pick to win the 2009 World Series is the Yankees?

–
Meanwhile, over at the women’s tournament, the big story is U Conn. Not only a one seed, but an undefeated one at that. With an average margin of victory this season of about 30 points. Yes, 30.

Maybe it would be appropriate for the other teams in the tournament to have the final in the Alamodome.

–
Quote of the day, from new American Idol judge Kara Diogardi to a contestant tonight:

“Six words! One of the top performances of the night.”

And President Bush, watching at home, said “Exactly.”

–

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

A break in the Madness…

March 24, 2009

The remaining teams in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament are mostly 1s, 2s, 3s and 4s. With only one 5 and a 12. Most Americans haven’t seen that many numbers so low since they opened their latest 401ks.

–
With so many high-ranked teams in the Sweet Sixteen, basketball fans won’t even have the bittersweet pleasure of watching underdogs who get their hopes up and then dash them in the end. But fortunately we’ll soon have the Chicago Cubs.

–

President Obama responded to a question about his response to the AIG bonuses by saying “It took a couple of days because I like to know what I’m talking about before I speak.”

And former President Bush said “You can do that?”

–

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal told the GOP to “put 2008 in the rear view mirror.” He also asked them to do the same with his response to Obama’s speech?.

–
Many Americans are particularly upset about AIG because of the taxpayer money wasted on undeserving employees in an inept operation. For New Yorkers at least, fortunately they’ll soon have the distraction of the Mets opener at the new Citi Field.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

We’re number 98!

March 24, 2009

How the mighty have fallen: Stanford University, a sweet sixteen team only a year ago, is currently competing in the CBI. (College Basketball Invitational.) This is a pay-for-play tournament for teams who just missed both the 65 team NCAA AND 32 team NIT tournaments.

The Cardinal have won their first two games, putting them on course for the finals. Where if they win, yes, they can print the t-shirts- “We’re number 98!”

–

So as we get to the Sweet Sixteen in the men’s NCAA tournament, 14 of the 16 top seeds remain, with only one five seed and one twelve seed remaining as semi-underdogs. 14 out of 16 numbers predicted correctly? Maybe when this tournament is over we should have the seeding committee tackle the banking industry.

–
And another problem with the WBC – (World Baseball Classic.) Not only is it during spring training, it is during March Madness, thereby almost guaranteeing that most sports fans are focused elsewhere.

But another suggestion, besides moving it to November. Invite 64 nations. Seed them. And then put out a press release saying that by no means should Americans bet on the WBC, but by the way, here is a printable bracket.

–
From my very funny friend Jim Barach:

President Obama has signed a publishing deal with Crown Publishing for a post presidency book. Apparently it is going to be called “What The Hell Was I Thinking?”

–

Meow corner.
–
Harrison Ford has finally announced his engagement to Calista Flockhart. Apparently he wanted to wait until she had graduated from high school.

or

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have finally announced their engagement. They plan to have a great wedding, being able to take advantage of his senior and her student discount.

–

Before county commissioners approved a plan for a new Florida Marlins stadium, they were asked if Miami to become the “only major city in America without major league baseball.”

And in Washington DC, home of the Nationals, fans responded, “what are we, chopped liver?”

–

The New York Yankees still have unsold expensive seats in their new stadium. But the team feels confident the seats will sell once buyers realize they won’t have to worry about spending more money on World Series tickets.

–

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags:

Comments: Be the first to comment

The ugly stepsisters are winning…

March 23, 2009

One seed higher than a four left in the Sweet Sixteen –Arizona, the Pac 10 team no one, including me, thought should be in the tournament in the first place. Zero upsets on Sunday. – zero, no lower seed beat a higher seed in any of the eight games.

Maybe Cinderella’s fairy godmother was too busy fretting about her 401k to show up?

President Obama’s pick are now looking pretty respectable, he is in the top half of the millions of entrants in ESPN’s challenge. Some folks have been complaining that he should be focused on the economy. But really, shouldn’t even a President have some way to blow off steam and relax? I would venture to say March Madness is a better outlet, than say, our last Democratic president found?

–
More on the subject of the new official “Yankees Sod” and “Yankees Grass Seed,” where fans can purchase the same sod and/or seed used at Yankee Stadium.

If successful, this will open up a whole wave of new possiblities:

Minnesota Twins grass – inexpensive and surprisingly effective, even indoors.

Red Sox grass – almost as expensive as Yankees grass. Requires years of patience for success.

Nationals grass – imported from Canada in hopes of having it perform better in a warmer climate. So far results are unimpressive.

–
Cubs grass – does this need a punchline? But okay, Incredibly popular, but almost always dead by the end of summer.

–
Royals and Pirates grass- not very impressive, but cheap. For lawns nobody notices.

–

–

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Yankees grass…

March 22, 2009

Yes, for those Yankees fans who can’t get enough of their team, officially licensed grass will now be sold. The farmer who supplies the team has won approval to sell his extra as “Yankees Sod” and “Yankee Grass Seed.”

Presumably the grass will be deep, impressive looking, and expensive. It will also regularly fade in October.

–
There already apparently is a form of Mets grass. But it is only sold legal in Amsterdam.

–

Good news for the Los Angeles Clippers. With March Madness going on no basketball fans are watching them play.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags:

Comments: Be the first to comment

Say what, Sarah?

March 21, 2009

Governor Sarah Palin criticized President Obama for his “Special Olympics” gaffe last night on the Tonight Show.

Isn’t Sarah Palin criticizing someone for saying something stupid in a television interview like Bill Clinton criticizing John Edwards for doing something stupid with another woman?

–
Or AIG criticizing Citigroup for reckless investing practices?

–
Or Michael Jackson criticizing Nayda Shulman’s parenting skills?

–

Actually, Governor Palin is sticking by what she feels is well-qualified criticism of President Obama. Not only does she have a Downs syndrome child, she can see Russian Special Olympics athletes training from her house.

–
And btw, apologies if any of these Special Olympics jokes are offensive. They aren’t meant to be. (And I’m not running for office.)
–
After Barack Obama foolishly compared his 129 bowling game to a Special Olympics attempt, some Special Olympics athletes have come forward to challenge the President to a bowling match.

Following in the footsteps of all the Special Olympics athletes who wanted to challenge President Bush to a game of Jeopardy.

–
The California Golden Bears, the NCAA’s best three-point shooting team in the regular season, were bounced in the first round by Maryland. The Bears hit only 29 percent of their three-point attempts.

In fact, their shooting percentage was so bad, they’ve been invited to go hunting with Dick Cheney.

–
How random are some NCAA pool picks? If you think your brackets are busted now, what if it was required that to get credit for a team’s win, you would have to know the city and state where they are located, and the mascot? (Siena, for example.)

–

A serious thought, yes, I do post one or two once in a while The World Baseball Classic is not only not grabbing the country’s attention, it is delaying the start of the Major League Baseball season enough that the World Series may go into November. Not to mention some players are getting injured and it may affect their seasons.

So why not put Spring Training and the regular season back to where they were, have the World Series a little earlier, and then play the WBC afterwards somewhere warm and/or indoors? It’s not as if November is a huge sports month, especially earlier in the month before the college football rivalry games get going. And players will be less worried about being injured for the regular season.

Just a thought.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

The Tonight Show

March 19, 2009

President Obama appeared Thursday night on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Some Americans wondered why he could justify taking the time this week; it HAD to take his attention off the NCAA tournament.

–

Should we be so surprised about all the foolish financial decisions so many Americans have made? At least five million of us are still convinced we will win our March Madness pool.

–

Is there anyone else watching the tournament thinking that maybe the “Pontiac game-changing performance” should be GM building a Pontiac Americans actually want to buy?

–

Apparently taxpayers’ bailout money has gone to 13 companies that collectively owe over $220 million in unpaid federal taxes. 13 tax dodging companies!? Or as Timothy Geithner calls them – “my people.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

What a great night…

March 19, 2009

As of tonight, Wednesday, most Americans’ 401ks may be in tatters, but our brackets are perfect.

–

Coach Mike Krzyzewski complained about the fact that President Obama didn’t pick Duke to make it to the Final Four in his brackets.
Said Coach K “really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets.’’

Wonder if President Obama thought about responding “Considering Duke hasn’t won a championship in eight years, Maybe the brackets are something Coach K should focus on more than the economy.”

–

Want to get some of those AIG bonuses back?

Many newspapers routinely print the names and pictures of people arrested for things such as prostitution or DUI. Why not do the same for those AIG execs who decide not to give back their bonuses?

For that matter, they print the names and pictures of people when they do positive noteworthy things. Suppose any exec who thinks he or she deserves that money could also write an explanation to go with their picture.

Added bonus, it would help sell newspapers.

–
AIG executives may soon have to give back their bonuses for poor performance. Wonder how long it would then take the Yankees to ask A-Rod for his playoff shares

–
USC’s mens basketball team was a surprising entry into the NCAA tournament by virture of their winning the Pac 10 tournament .

Some found this an especially impressive achievement due to the fact they were using the Clippers’ dressing room at the Los Angeles Staples Center. But really, what team defines high college level talent better than the Clippers?

–
President Bush says he will write a book on how he made his presidential decisions. To increase sales, the book will come with a free replica Magic 8 ball.

–
Or

Former President Bush says he is writing a book on how he made his most important presidential decisions. The book, of course, will be ghost-written by Dick Cheney.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Shouldn’t it be A.I.C.G?

March 18, 2009

Shouldn’t we be renaming A.I.G. to A.I.C.G? As in “All I Can Get?”

–
Or since the Treasury secretary professed ignorance of the bonuses. despite warnings he had given to the company, maybe A.I.G. stands for Always Ignore Geithner.”
–

The latest story is that a provision to limit AIG bonuses was secretly stripped at the last minute, but at this point no one knows who did it.

Isn’t this a job for Jack Bauer?

–
Former President Bush, visiting Canada, today declined to criticize President Obama, saying that he “deserves my silence.” Bush added that with Obama’s heritage criticism would be particularly inappropriate on St. Patrick’s Day.

–
And all over the country, Americans are wondering, why couldn’t Bush have thought about anyone “deserving my silence” before one of his speeches?

–
Former President Bush said he would not now criticize President Obama because “he deserves my silence.” That and the fact that the statute of limitations has not run out.

–
America is getting ready for the NCAA tournament: Several weeks of top college level play. In other words, the whole country gets to see what it’s like to be a Clippers fan.

–

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags:

Comments: Be the first to comment

Countdown to March Madness…

March 17, 2009

Yes, it’s that time of year again. When millions more Americans find themselves not working, even the ones with jobs.

–
Really, really bad pun alert.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer reported that many men schedule vasectomies during March Madness, so they can have something to watch at home while they recuperate. One doctor said his schedule around the tournament games is full.

So what about those who called too late? Guess they missed the cut.

–
A semi-serious thought about March Madness. For football schools still resisting a playoff system, consider this. For the next few days, 64, actually 65, teams, will be scrutinized and followed seriously by millions of Americans. Even small schools. Underdog winners will become national darlings and the talk of newspapers, television and the internet.

Say, anyone remember if there was an upset in the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl?

–

Bad timing for AIG, if that news about their bonuses had leaked a few days later…most Americans would have been so busy following their brackets they might not have noticed.

–
AIG might have accomplished the impossible: making Nadya Shulman look deserving by comparison.
–
AIG could be on its way to setting records for having executives make money while accomplishing nothing. Previous records have been shared amongst executives of airlines, NBC, Congress, and of course the Chicago Cubs.

–
Then there’s the World Baseball Classic. An apparent attempt to make baseball as relevant to most Americans as hockey.

U.S. Manager Davey Johnson is actually talking about Team USA forfeiting and bowing out of the WBC due to injuries and the risk of futher injuries. Yep, just giving up. Which would be embarrassing, though for next year several players might be named honorary members of the French team.

–

More on that Bush library. But really, isn’t having a library for George W. Bush like building a museum dedicated to the Cubs in the World Series?

–
Or – more fill-in-the-blanks…

While we’re talking unlikely libraries, how about unlikely books…

a library dedicated to George W. Bush is about as likely as…

having a book written about the tact and discretion of Ann Coulter..

or the good judgment of AIG executives.

or the team spirit of Terrell Owens.

or the decisiveness of Brett Favre.

this could go on, and on…

And no word yet on if the $300 million Bush library price tag even includes crayons.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Investments and other jokes..

March 15, 2009

Who knew? – your Beanie Baby collection might now be worth more than your Bank stocks.

–
With so many executives getting their golden parachutes and ditching financial service companies, there is the possibility of moving away and starting afresh in a new location. But what to tell neighbors about how you made your money without being so embarrassed?

At least female ex-execs have the option of saying “Oh, I used to be a hooker.”

–
Apparently there is talk that the cost of George W. Bush’s library at SMU may exceed $300 million.

Must have been another of those contracts awarded on a no-bid basis to Halliburton.

–
Dick Cheney said not to blame the previous administration for the country’s economic woes, saying it is just “a global economic problem.”

Fine, does this mean we can blame them for the “global economic problem?”

Maybe we should give Cheney a break, it’s probably hard for him to adjust to the fact he is no longer President.

–
Despite all the bailout money and their huge losses, AIG is still paying huge executive bonuses.

Kind of puts the playoff shares the Yankees have paid A-Rod in perspective, doesn’t it.

–
Or, by that standard, Notre Dame’s ten year $40 million contract to Charlie Weis actually looks reasonable..

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

We can dream…

March 14, 2009

A few thoughts we can dream about…

Wouldn’t it be nice now, after Bristol Palin has broken up with her baby’s father, to hear Governor Palin say “Well, while it’s great if teenagers can wait to have sex, I realize that that young people do have passionate relationships that may not last, and we should teach them about protection?”

Wouldn’t it be nice now to hear Bud Selig say “We all knew the ball wasn’t juiced, so it had to be the batters. And quite frankly the home runs brought the fans back and we wouldn’t have cared if they were injecting any drug under the sun if it helped save baseball?”

Wouldn’t it be nice to hear Michael Steele, the embattled Republican National Committee Chair say “Listen folks, caving in to our “base” just lost us the Presidency and both the House and Senate. The base can just get over it.”

–
Wouldn’t it be nice to hear John McCain say to President Obama “Dude, what’s with this bi-partisan crap? I thought you were kidding, like I was.”

–
Wouldn’t it be nice to hear the Chicago Cubs management say “Look, we know fans will fill Wrigley no matter how lousy the team is, so why should we spend the money to get a team that could actually win the World Series?”

–
Wouldn’t it be nice to hear Rush Limbaugh say ‘Yeah, even I know I’m full of it. But look at my ratings.”

Categories: Uncategorized

Comments: Be the first to comment

This just in…

March 12, 2009

GM says they will not need $2 billion from the government in March. They may, however, need $20 billion in April.
–
The new UFL – United Football League – plans to work as a feeder league for tne NFL, by providing a place to play for players who just miss making pro rosters. Then the UFL season will end before Thanksgiving, allowing NFL teams to pick up the best players for the stretch run and the playoffs.

In other words, the same model the Yankees use for the rest of major league baseball.

–

The new UFL will be composed of players who aren’t quite good enough for the NFL. Don’t we already have that? I think they are called the Detroit Lions.

–
The UFL says their season will be over by Thanksgiving. Raiders fans said “And your point is?”

–

John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston have ended their on-again, off-again relationship. Again. Even Brett Favre says, “Folks, make up your minds.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

L is for Layoff

March 12, 2009

The economic crisis hit Sesame Street today as Sesame Workshop, the show’s producers, announced they would cut about a fifth of their staff.

Now Oscar is really Grouchy.

Cookie Monster may be rationed to crackers.

And Big Bird is tiptoeing quietly around all KFC locations.

–
So Bristol Palin’s engagement is off. And Meghan McCain said her parent running for president interfered with HER love life.

Wonder if McCain-Palin had won if we would have had the first White House shotgun wedding?

–
In a recent poll, 96 percent of Californians said the state was in “bad times.” This is shocking. There are actually four percent who think things are good?

Didn’t know that many Californians were on the payroll of Manny Ramirez.

–
The Fiesta, Rose, Orange and Sugar Bowls have signed just deals to keep the BCS format going through at least 2013.

So Barack Obama may be able to fix the economy, solve global warming, and bring our troops home from Iraq. But it doesn’t look like he can do anything about the BCS

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Lucky or unlucky number 13?

March 11, 2009

The Los Angeles Dodgers hope that adding Manny Ramirez to the team will help keep their fans from leaving games in the seventh inning. Well, that and the fact that many of those fans will be sleeping in their cars anyway.

–
One more thought on those $99 Manny Ramirez fares offered by JetBlue. There’s apparently no maximum stay rule – on the Manny fares you get bored wherever you go and want to leave soon anyway.
–

Its that time of year, when law enforcement tries to stop illegal gambling by cracking down on NCAA basketball pools. As opposed to legal gambling in the stock market.

–
This next is from the very funny Jim Barach:

“Wide receiver Terrell Owens was released by the Dallas Cowboys. You know things have gotten out of hand when you have become too loud and obnoxious even for Texas.”

–
New Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele may already be facing a no-confidence vote. Really, just how bad do you have to be after the last guy in charge presided over Sarah Palin’s $150,000 shopping spree? Not to mention the GOP’s losing the Senate, the House and the Presidency.

–
Interesting results for viewers trying to vote for contestant number 13 on American Idol Tuesday night. The phone number shown for her ended in “36.” But if callers followed the natural progression of numbers for other contestants ending in 13, they ended up dialing a phone sex number.

Well, add to a long list of excuses “Honey, I was just trying to vote for American Idol.”

–
Bernie Madoff has agreed to a plea bargain that could mean 150 years in prison. Many Americans are hoping that at least some of that time can be spent in the stocks.

–
Madoff actually may not realize he could really get a 150 year sentence. The man is used to rather exaggerated numbers.

–
Let’s see a show of hands from all those who expected the Netherlands to go through to the second round of the World Baseball Classic? Heck, lets see a show of hands from all those who even knew the Netherlands was IN the World Baseball Classic.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Dancing with the geek stars?

March 10, 2009

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak is appearing on this season’s “Dancing with the Stars.”

Microsoft founder Bill Gates was thinking of appearing as well, but he was sidelined by a virus.

–
A-Rod’s surgery was successful. Doctors say he should be back to normal by midseason, and ready to choke again in the playoffs.

Tacky alert for joke to follow:

Police allege that Geno Hayes of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers was stabbed in the neck by his girlfriend. They are holding the woman in custody while they decide whether to charge her with a crime, or send her on a blind date with Chris Brown?
–

Categories: Uncategorized

Comments: Be the first to comment

More celebrity airline fares?

March 8, 2009

Continuing the follow-up to JetBlue “Manny Fan fares” (which are for real!)

Timothy Geithner fares- taxes optional.

–

Alex Rodriguez fares – first class fares, generally worth the price until October.

–
NHL fares – marketed in the U.S. and Canada, but somehow hard to sell in the States.

–
Tiger Woods fares – only one potentially sold per flight. And then everyone else on the plane feels second-class.

–
Hillary Clinton fares – round-the-world fares, spouses not allowed.

–

Bill Clinton fares – sold in conjunction with Hillary Clinton fares. When your spouse buys a round-the-world ticket, you get a discounted ticket to a spring break hotspot.

–
Nayda Shulman fares – groups only. Six is not enough.

–
Detroit Lions fan fares – borrowing off the Southwest “Wanna get away” concept – valid football season only to anywhere NFL games are not shown live.
–

Terrell Owens fares – marketed to big city big name destinations, but somehow you can only end up going to Buffalo.

–

Joe Biden fares – a nice discount, but you have to listen first to a recording of a few rules and conditions…shouldn’t take more than an hour on the phone.

–
Bobby Jindal fares -highly hyped but never got off the ground.

–
Jason Mesnick – aka “the Bachelor” fares – one free change allowed.

–
AIG fares – not that cheap to begin with, and then they keep asking you for more and more money to keep the airline aloft.

–

NCAA tournament fares – announced the first week in March to 64 destinations, but there are always cities that feel unfairly left out.

–

Newt Gringrich fares – the anti-bereavement fares – instead of flying to visit sick relatives, you flee away from them.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Manny and A-Rod: Baseball’s Comedy stimulus package?

March 7, 2009

Whatever you think of Manny Ramirez and Alex Rodriguez, they are a boon to struggling would-be joke writers still reeling from the departure of President Bush.

JetBlue has announced new “Manny Fan Fares” from Los Angeles to New York and Boston. The fare’s only $99 each way. But there’s a mandatory surcharge for excess baggage.

United Airlines, based in Chicago, is thinking of offering Cubs fan fares. The fares, of course, will be no good in October.
–
The season hasn’t even started yet, and in New York, where their sky-high payroll has the team paying a luxury tax, they’re going to call A-Rod’s portion of it an “excess baggage fee.”

–
Some pundits are already blaming Barack Obama for the economy, although he has barely been in office 40 days. Even Raiders owner Al Davis is saying “Show a little patience!”

–
50-year-old Mark Martin is now the second-oldest pole winner in NASCAR history, after winning the top spot at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

So will the race be started – “Gentlemen start your engines, and you punks get out of his lane?

–

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Senate Idol?

March 6, 2009

It’s looking more and more like new Senator Roland Burris may follow in the footsteps of the Governor who appointed him, and be removed from office. Since this seems to happen a lot in Illinois, maybe it’s time for a change.

My suggestion, instead of a regular special election, what about “Senate Idol?’

For Senate Idol, everyone who thinks they qualify could meet with a bi-partisan panel composed of politicians who have not been indicted yet.

Then the top 10 choices could appear in a weekly show, televised on Fox, of course, since the network could use something different to get over their apoplexy over Obama. They would each have a few minutes to impress voters, in any way they liked – speeches, songs, presentations, whatever. And each week the candidate with the few number of votes could go home. Until one winner emerges.

Maybe President Obama could even come back to announce him or her!

(Of course, there would have to be a few tweaks, like a way to give legitimate voters an identification number so they could only vote once a week. Although there could be a separate non-binding national peoples’ choice vote… Winner would at least get an ego boost.)

At least a reality show would have transparency. And since they seem to do well in the ratings, all proceeds from the show could go to reducing the state deficit. With all due respect, how much worse could they do? And if the winner turned out to be a winner in Washington, maybe the concept could be expanded? California Idol, for example? To replace Arnold Schwarzenegger after his term is over? Speaking of another state where we could hardly do a lot worse. And Arnold could even host….

–
Americans are eagerly anticipating the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, aka “March Madness.”

This year especially it will be good to see something go from 64 down to 1 that isn’t part of your 401k.

–
And Manny Ramirez said after finally signing that $45 million contract that he is happy to be in Los Angeles. Anyone want to lay an over-under as to whether this lasts longer than Jason and Melissa?

–
Manny also said he’s looking forward to performing for the fans. And considering Ramirez’s famous work ethic, it should suit him just fine to only need to perform from the third through the seventh innings.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

It’s not too late for goodbyes…

March 5, 2009

Regarding the soon to be ex-senator Roland Burris, preceded by ex-governor Rod Blagojevich, and other indicted former governors Daniel Walker, George Ryan, Otto Kerner, and William Stratton….

Why DONT they just auction off the Senate seat in Illinois to the highest bidder? Put the proceeds towards ballancing the state budget. You’d have transparency, Illinois could use the money, and it’s not like the voters were doing a good job picking leaders the old fashioned way.

–
And speaking of goodbyes – the Dallas Cowboys have released Terrell Owens. Should we be surprised? All over America companies are dumping toxic assets.”

–

Today’s entry in the “You might need a life if” department:

You might need a life if you don’t live in Washington D.C. or Oklahoma City, and you watched tonight’s NBA game between the 14-47 Wizards and the 16-45 Thunder.

–

So Manny Ramirez finally signed with the Los Angeles Dodgers for the same $45 million 2-year contract he spurned earlier this year.

What the difference between a $45 million contract you spurn and one you sign?? Apparently about 2500 points on the Dow.

–

Time for some stupid cat jokes. (No comments please on that being redundant.)

The first from Bill Littlejohn:

“A Nebraska man reportedly stuffed his girlfriends’ cat into a bong.A South Carolina sheriff has issued arrest warrants for eight other neighborhood cats”

–
Police charged him with animal abuse and claim that when they found removed the animal from the bong it was stoned. Apparently they said the cat was just lying around, staring into space, and ignored its name being called….

No word if they actually saw any signs of cat abnormal behavior.

–
Although one sign might have been the cat gobbling up Krispy Kreme flavored kibble.
–

The man claimed he had put the cat in the bong before and it had been no problem. Apparently he was using it to help taste-test new tuna-flavored Doritos.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »