Left Coast Sports Babe

Now Marlins have fired John DeCicco, Billy the Marlin for over 10 years, at home games. Are they sure they didn’t trade the mascot for a peanut vendor?

That moment when even #Browns feel a bit sorry for #Colts

On a brighter note for Knicks fans with Porzingis injury, chances of landing a lottery pick just went up

–

When only time you talk about football is to call the NFL disgrace over kneeling players, it seems a bit disingenuous to use tragic death of a player for politics. #EdwinJackson

–

Scott Boras blames lack of @MLB free agent signings on a “noncompetitive environment.” How much blame though falls on agents like Scott Boras?

–

Safeway has champagne/sparkling wine on sale for Valentine’s Day. Discount for 6 bottles or more. For all your “one-and-onlys?”

–

A San Diego Girl Scout sold over 312 boxes of cookies near a marijuana dispensary. Give that girl a merit badge for entrepreneurship.

–

John Kelly claims Trump hasn’t read Democratic 10 page memo. “It is quite lengthy.” That’s about 20 minutes read out loud. Any way someone can buy a few days of commercial time on #FoxAndFriends?

–

#TheDow is on such a roller-coast @realDonaldTrump can’t decide whether to take credit or assign blame.

–

Fox’s Sean Hannity blamed yesterday’s stock market plunge “because the Obama economy was so weak all of these years.” Congrats to all those who had “less than 12 hours” in the pool.

–

Trump Evangelical advisor Gloria Copeland – instead of flu shots “inoculate yourselves with the word of God.” Well, one way to reduce Social Security costs, just have more people die.

Two New York lawmakers want new safer packaging and warning labels added to Tide pods to make them less appealing to eat.   What, and miss out on all those well-earned Darwin awards?

–

Democrats just won a Missouri House seat in a district Trump won by 28 points. I missed POTUS’s tweet taking credit

–

WH official says Trump’s military parade would be to “highlight service & sacrifice of military & have a unifying moment for country.”
I like “biggest inaugural crowd ever” better.

–

Here’s an idea. What if we let Trump have his military parade only if he wears his new #CadetBoneSpurs uniform?

–

Another reason it will take a while to schedule Trump’s military parade: Might take bands a while to learn Russian national anthem.

–

Steve Wynn just stepped down as CEO of his own Wynn Resorts. Apparently if it’s bad enough what happens in Vegas does not always stay in Vegas.

So will Terrell Owens be first NFL player ever fined for excessive celebration during his HOF induction speech?

–

So steroid users can’t be in baseball Hall of Fame, but football has no problem with murderers. #RayLewis

Warriors, Cavs, Spurs all lose tonight. Would be more meaningful if we weren’t about two months away from the beginning of the real NBA regular season. #playoffs

–

Steve Kerr on #Warriors “It’s painful obviously that our guys are mentally fried right now,” That stampeding sound you hear is rest of @NBA rushing to get their violins.

–

Warriors 30 point loss to Jazz was most embarrassing basketball story of the week. #Duke – “Hold our beer.” #StJohns

–

Many pundits figure #Eagles have as much chance of beating the #Patriots as St. John’s had of beating #Duke.

–

Trump’s tweet whine about his poll numbers & media reports ends “Oh well, maybe someday.” Same as he said about trying to be Kim Jong Un’s friend. What is he, 12?

Even Richard Nixon is thinking that Trump has a serious paranoia problem.

–

Trump’s tweet whine about his poll numbers & media reports ends “Oh well, maybe someday.” Same as he said about trying to be Kim Jong Un’s friend. What is he, 12?

–

Ryan talks about a $1.50 a week tax cut being enough for a Costco membership. Even he knows it won’t buy a small cup of coffee at Starbucks.

.

At least Paul Ryan didn’t say $1.50 a week would buy Americans a nice cake they could eat.

So Paul Ryan accidentally revealed real GOP tax cut plan for middle class: Give them enough money to buy lottery tickets so they can hope to win and retire.

–

But come on, isn’t it worth losing healthcare, clean air and water, endangered species, women’s rights, etc. if you gain a whole $1.50 a week.

–

Okay, really, if you were writing Democratic #DNC ad could you write it better than to say “All GOP budget cuts are worth it to save $1.50 a week?”

American Express partnering with NBA for “Jersey Assurance” program.  If your favorite player is traded or leaves his team you can change his jersey. Guessing this won’t happen with MLB.   The Oakland As alone could bankrupt program.

–

Eagles QB Nick Foles said he considered becoming a pastor in offseason. But Foles still wouldn’t have been able to top Saints safety Marcus Williams in getting millions on their feet screaming “Jesus Christ.”

–

MLB says all 30 teams will extend protective netting to “at least the far ends of both dugouts by opening day. So future generations of kids won’t be able to score foul balls (or get autographs)  because this generation pays less attention to game and more to their phones.

—

Trump has declined the traditional President’s pre-Super Bowl interview. Because it would interfere with his golf game?

Here’s an idea. if since Trump won’t do a Super Bowl interview NBC could ask Obama if he’s free to fill in?

–

Trump complaining Democrats doing nothing for #Dreamers with approaching March 5 deadline is like an arsonist starting a fire & saying firefighters won’t make the deal he wants with him.

–

Reports that White House officials worry FBI director Christopher Wray will quit if Nunes memo is released. Worry that he will, or that he won’t?

–

Trump tells GOP Orrin Hatch told him he’s the greatest president in the history of our country,” including “Lincoln and Washington.” Didn’t realize Hatch was retiring due to diagnosis of dementia.

–

As Trump attacks FBI director, remember, Christopher Wray was appointed as Asst. Attorney General at DOJ by George W. Bush & was Chris Christie’s personal lawyer. Not exactly a liberal.

–

Apparently opioid addicts are now using large doses of over-the-counter anti-diarrhea medication for cheap highs. Wow, to be that desperate how shitty do you have to feel? #bustohell

–

Let’s be real: If FBI, CIA & DOJ really had been all working together against Trump, then GOP would be calling for impeachment of President Hillary Clinton.

Patriots president Jonathan Kraft said it’s Tom Brady’s decision as to when he retires. Of course if his performance slips New England reserves the right someday to influence that date by trading Brady to the Browns.

–

As we approach February,  NBA fans can rejoice, only about 2 months left in the pre-season.

So if all these sites think the Isaiah Canaan injury is too graphic to watch, why do they keep showing it?

–

Whoever thought Michigan State might someday make Penn State look less bad by comparison? #Nassar #Sandusky

–

In California, coffee may soon carry warnings as a “cancer risk.” But what about warnings for those who might be murdered if their family & co-workers don’t drink it?

–

Marriott executive at recent travel conference. There are only two countries with a decreasing number of international travelers – one is USA, the other is Turkey. Are we greater yet?

–

So if we end chain migration will Trump send Melania’s parents and sister back to Slovenia? Asking for a country.

–

So how many more Benghazi hearings will Trey Gowdy hold before he retires?

–

That moment when the Press Secretary who always looks like she’s smelling dog poop said “Nancy Pelosi should smile more.”

–

Last night Trump said the US was with Puerto Rico, today FEMA is halting new shipments of water and food to the island. So “with you” really means “thoughts and prayers?”

No real tweets from @realDonaldTrump in three days. Did someone tell him it was time to wash his smartphone?

–

Have to wonder with all these resignations, at what point does @realDonaldTrump run out of people who are willing to taint their careers by joining his administration?

–

As Trump reportedly acts in ways that are increasingly king-like, interesting to remember that #SOTU was on 369th anniversary of Charles I of England rather abruptly being removed from that position.

–

Another reason to have grownups running the country: Hope Hicks is 28. Not that people get more honest as they get older, but they get smarter about lies and obstructing justice.

–

One of those “many fine people on both sides?” Tomi Lahren yesterday referred to Joe Kennedy as “little limp dick.”

(Must. Not. Make. Vulgar. But. Obvious. Punchline.)

–

Nashville Mayor Megan Barry said today she had an affair with a policeman in charge of her security. But to be honest, who cares what politicians do in their personal lives, as long as they don’t tell us what to do with ours.

–

I liked “l’etat c’est moi” when it was just French History.

–

Trying to trade for #AlexSmith during State of the Union speech but then f*cking it up so that #Chiefs trade Smith to the #Redskins is so #Browns.

–

MLB is going to try putting runners on 2nd base at start of 11th inning during the All-Star Game. So are they trying to make the game as watchable as the Pro Bowl?

–

Hawaii fired the employee who triggered false ballistic missile alert, after he said he didn’t know it was a drill. He reportedly “had a history of confusing drill & real-world events.” So how long until he gets offered job at Fox or White House?

–

Blockbuster just closed its last Texas store. Shocking, Blockbuster still had ANY stores.

–

Former Mississippi Haley Barbour was caught w/ loaded handgun at airport security checkpoint today. When is TSA going to start profiling dangerous white men?

–

Getting bad when you see #NewportBeach trending & when you see awful story thinking “Oh, it’s “only” 3 dead in helicopter crash and not mass shooting.”

–

Wonder how many Americans will be hungover Wed. morning after playing drinking games during SOTU.

—

Trump talking about sparing parents pain. Can’t imagine losing a child. But guess what – parents hurt as much when children are killed by an American with a gun. #SOTU

(and as a friend pointed out, or when they are deported and separated from children.)

–

Has no one told @realDonaldTrump that “In God We Trust” doesn’t mean we all have to worship the same God. Or believe in one at all?

–

“Beautiful, clean, coal.” Nice triple oxymoron.

#WeChooseBoth has a nice ring to it for a 2018 and 2020 slogan.

–

So parents of murder victims killed by illegal immigrants get acknowledged at #SOTU. But if your child was killed by white man w/ a gun, well, “thoughts & prayers.”

–

Who had the more frozen poker-face tonight during State of the Union   #NancyPelosi or #Melania?

–

So wonder how much Trump is promising in an NDA to Melania?

–

Trump acknowledges heroism of Capitol Police without mentioning that Mike Pence would try gay conversion therapy on one of officers who saved Scalise’s life, and many in GOP don’t recognize her marriage. #SOTU

–

When did applauding yourself become Presidential? #SOTU

–

Americans before tonight. Not another member of a political dynasty.
Americans after tonight – humming Camelot
#JoeKennedy #SOTUResponse

Too soon to start a pool on what @realDonaldTrump’s insulting nickname for Joe Kennedy will be tomorrow?

USC has sold naming rights for Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to United Airlines for $69 million. So expect Trojan tickets to have a base price, a cushion fee, a stadium entrance fee, a concession fee….

–

And how much will the Trojans now charge for extra legroom aisle seats and being able to enter early?

–

Indians getting rid of #ChiefWahoo as “offensive.” So now most offensive thing on the field in baseball will probably be the decimated Marlins.

–

Damn Alex Reimer,  how dare he actually make me have to take Tom Brady’s side in anything?

(For unintiated, Reimer is the radio guy who made a snide comment today, “annoying little pissant” about Brady’s 5 year old daughter.)

–

Clippers have traded #BlakeGriffin to the Pistons. Well, at least Blake won’t have to worry for a while about playoff pressure.

–

Nikki Haley complaining on twitter ” I have always loved the Grammys but to have artists read the Fire and Fury book killed it. Don’t ruin great music with trash. Some of us love music without the politics thrown in it.”

Apparently someone never listened to Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, and more recently, Green Day and, Eminem….for starters.

Personally I’ve mostly respected Nikki Haley and don’t think she’s having an affair with @realDonaldTrump. But her little Grammy’s tantrum was worthy of him.

Trump to Piers Morgan “‘I think I’m very popular in your country.” Thereby causing millions of Brits to think ‘Well, NHS may not be great with mental healthcare, but it’s clearly better than the US

Now NY Times reports Melania was furious about supposed payoff to Stormy Daniels. Furious over the affair, or over $130,000 coming out of potential community property?

–

Now Sarah Huckabee Sanders says Trump had nothing to do with Andrew McCabe’s firing. I like “biggest inaugural crowd in history” better.

–

Does anyone doubt that if McCabe had responded “Absolutely I voted for you, Mr. President” that he’d be staying in office until his official retirement date?

–

So let me get this straight – Trump trusts Putin, but not our own FBI and Justice Department.

–

In July, 2017 Senate voted 98-2 to impose new sanction on Russia. Today, the last day possible, Trump administration again declined to impose them. Waiting for the GOP outrage on this one… #complicit

Roger Federer, 36, just won the Australian Open, his 20th Grand Slam title. “Such a talented young man” said Tom Brady

Kenley Jansen, on the slow @MLB free agent market “Maybe we need to go on strike.” Uh oh, more potential millionaire on billionaire violence?

–

Miami Marlins to install new netting at Marlins Park along baselines. CEO Derek Jeter “Safety of our fans will always be a priority for this organization.” Of course this year team will keep fans safer by encouraging them to stay at home.

–

Eagles RB, born in Hackney, a London borough, on the Super Bowl “Talking to my friends in Europe and my family in London I tell them it’s like playing in the Champions League final.” And many Americans are going “the what?”

–

IKEA founder #IngvarKamprad, 91, has died. His funeral will take place as soon as his family finishes assembling his coffin.

–

Remembering innocent days when if George W. Bush could string a sentence together we thought he was Presidential. Now Trump gets same credit if he doesn’t say something stark-raving bonkers.

–

Trump tells Piers Morgan in an interview ‘I’m not a feminist.”  Give the man his due, when he’s right, he’s right.

–

Trump claims Stormy Daniels is lying. If that’s true, she didn’t sign an NDA. So she can say anything she wants to Jimmy Kimmel. Pass. The. Popcorn

–

Meghan Markle is reportedly planning her own wedding speech. Bet she’s not promising to obey either. #yougogirl

–

Time to reset the mass shooting clock again. “Five dead in Pennsylvania shooting rampage.” Expect GOP “thoughts and prayers.” Unless killer was an immigrant.

Trump talks today about “decisive action” against the Taliban. Right. And is Mexico going to pay for that too?

–

Now @realDonaldTrump goes after Jay-Z. TAttack was almost as bad as when Trump attacked Eminem for insulting him. Oh wait, he didn’t! Never mind.

Family Research Council head Tony Perkins said evangelicals and conservatives had given Trump a “mulligan” over his past. Including alleged assaults, affairs & grabbing “by the pussy.” A “mulligan?” More like
mulligatawny stew.

MSU coach Tom Izzo is so tone-deaf you almost wonder if he has plans to run for office.

–

But really, who’d a thunk a big time university sports program would turn a blind eye to sexual harassment and assault?

– –

–

As #WhyBritsDontWantTrump becomes a top hashtag in England, somewhere George W. Bush is going “Don’t look so bad now, do I?

Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin called school shootings a “cultural problem” today. He’s right. Our culture is too pro-gun,

–

The Coast Guard has seized more than $721 million worth of cocaine off the coasts of Central and South America since late November. But hey, let’s cut their budget so Trump can build that wall.

–

Two refrigerators on Air Force One to be replaced at cost of $24 million.  To be fair, they have been forced to cope with record amounts of hot air.

–

As Trump attacks press & claims Mueller firing story is #FakeNews, whatever makes ANYONE think that he would tell the truth under oath?

–

Trump now whining “DACA has been made increasingly difficult..” Uh, DACA and Dreamers were just fine until you made them part of your anti-Obama mission.

–

That Hillary Clinton kept someone on her staff too long after he was accused of sexual harassment doesn’t mean she was as bad or worse than Trump. But it’s another reason why we need to move to a younger generation. #MeToo

Have a certain amount of sympathy for #MelaniaTrump. But imagine if Michelle Obama had made a 24 hr trip to Florida at taxpayer expense while Barack was overseas.

Worries about brain injuries & CTE, not to mention lousy play, have resulted in lower NFL ratings. So of course what USA needs is ANOTHER football league #XFL2020

There is a betting line on the #ProBowl And if you know it and plan to bet, you just might have a problem.

–

Barry Bonds doesn’t get into #BaseballHOF because of steroids, but Ivan Rodriguez does. And I’m sure it’s just a coincidence Pudge dropped 40 lbs when league started steroid testing.

–

Rumors are that #VinceMcMahon is bringing back the #TheXFL. Can they give @realDonaldTrump another team to distract him from watching Fox 24-7?

–

As someone said, imagine how many home runs Bonds would have hit if he weren’t facing pitchers on steroids?

–

MSU lineman David Beeble on Nassar situation “”As a MALE football player, situations such as this are rare and if it was to arise in football, I feel that action would’ve been taken immediately.”
He’s right, unless maybe it was a football coach

A big rig w/ “dozens of cases” of bottled craft beer from Paso Robles’ Firestone Walker Brewing Company crashed in Northern Calif, spilling beer all over highway. Sad. Especially that if a beer truck had to crash it wasn’t carrying Bud Light.

–

Now Bernie Sanders has called advisers together over a possible 2020 presidential campaign. Leaving politics aside, can USA be done being led by white men past retirement age?

(And for the record, I don’t want any old white women running in 2020. Time for a change.)

–

US dollar fell again today. So not only do we not have foreign tourists want to visit US, now it’s going to be more expensive for Americans to travel abroad. Where’s the Trump tweet about all those tourism jobs?

–

RNC chair says Trump’s asking new FBI director McCabe who he voted for was just “getting to know somebody.” Right, because 1st conversation boss has with new employee is about their politics. #WTF

–

Over-under on when Air Force One touched down in Zurich and then Trump was driven to Davos, how many world leaders said ‘There goes the neighborhood.”?

Who’d a thunk an orange man would be working so hard to make America white again?

Two Astros Double-A players suspended 80 & 100 games for failed PED tests. So is it mostly players trying to make it to “the Show” who cheat? Or do minor-leaguers just use cheaper more detectable drugs?

So-called rumors on Kawhi Leonard wanting out of San Antonio to go to “better” team,. Tonight Cavs would be the latest to say Spurs are just fine.

–

Despite controversies and bad calls this year, NFL is keeping Senior VP of officiating Al Riveron in 2018. Maybe because in the end, it’s about results — Patriots DID make it to Super Bowl.

–

Think there’s as much chance that no one at #UsaGymnastics knew about Larry Kassar as there is of @realdonaldtrump weighing 239 pounds.

–

Melania Trump apparently decided last minute not to go to Davos with her husband. Stormy weather?

–

Time to reset the mass shooting clock. And since shooter apparently American male… time for more GOP “thoughts and prayers.” #Kentucky

–

Of course it’s “too soon” to talk about gun control. But if the young man who shot his classmates were Muslim or an immigrant, you can bet Trump would be tweeting about travel bans and walls. #Kentucky

Not sure what’s sadder, 2 kids killed & 18 injured in latest school shooting. Or the fact that it’s already not top headline on the late-night news. #Kentucky

–

Top three beers in the US are now Bud Light, Coors Light and Miller Lite. At While at the same time getting much less light are Americans.

Hope @realDonaldTrump has never sent any really sensitive text messages from or to a Samsung phone…. Not that a company would ever be vindictive.

–

Since @realDonaldTrump is so fond of nicknames, may I suggest #TheBossBaby?

–

Trump arrives in Davos on the morning of Jan 25. Time to open up a new round of Trump insult bingo.

–

So how did Donald  Trump get snubbed for an #Oscars nomination for makeup. He makes up facts regularly.

USA Gymnastics directors have now resigned over Larry Nassar scandal. Uh, forget resignations, can we talk indictments? #complicit

–

But maybe all these former USA Gymnastics folks have dreams of getting hired at Penn State?  Or Michigan State?   #weknownothing.

Judge has turned down Jared Fogle’s request for early release from prison. Wonder if the former Subway pitchman was hoping to be hired by USA Gymnastics. #bustohell

–

Jaguars flagged for 6 penalties, 98 yards, including two PI’s that gave New England a TD, Patriots flagged for one 10 yard penalty. Waiting to see @NFL apologize, to Belichick for that one.

Austin Jackson has signed with SF Giants. Giants fans hoping that for at least one year you CAN trust anyone and everyone over 30.

–

Neil Diamond announces his retirement due to Parkinson’s disease. Sad. but have to wonder how many wish he had  just retired as past his sell by date?

=

So Monday  morning Megyn Kelly reminded us all that Trump disliking someone isn’t a good enough reason to like them.

.

Guessing there’s as good a chance of Mitch McConnell keeping his word as there is of Trump weighing 239 pounds.

–

So Mr. “Art of the Deal” did absolutely no deal making in DC this weekend. Though to be fair he was in mourning for missing his big anniversary party. @realDonaldTrump

–

Pence calls Stormy Daniels allegations “baseless.” But Daniels passed a polygraph. What about you, Mr. Vice President?

Russian spy ship, Viktor Leonov, spotted 100 miles off coast of North Carolina. Waiting for @PressSecSanders & @FoxNews to explain how it is Hillary or Obama’s fault.

–

for a nonpolitical nonsports note….. I end you with, Lucas the spider. Created by my nephew Joshua Slice, and voided by my grand-nephew Lucas.  Cute enough to avoid allegations of blog nepotism?

Just a reminder, the “tuck rule” game where officials gave Patriots win over Raiders. was 16 yrs ago last Friday. The more things change….

–

In 49 states millions of Americans have just become new members of #NickFoles fan club. #FlyEaglesFly

The Jaguars were penalized six times for 98 yards in Sunday’s AFC Championship Game while the Patriots were penalized just once for 10 yards, which was a holding penalty on a kickoff.

–

And we wonder why people hate airlines. Virgin, United & British Airways have fares from SF to London for $543 rt. But those fares are technically listed at $14 roundtrip. $300.00 of it is a “carrier-imposed surcharge.”

Gobbedly gook travel agent fare information below –  yes, even the US tax, at 36.60 is higher than the so-called fare:
FARE USD 14.00 TAX 5.60AY TAX 36.60US TAX 3.96XA TAX 4.50XF TAX 7.00XY TAX 5.65YC TAX 103.90GB TAX 62.20UB TAX 300.00YQ TOT USD 543.41

–

Let’s not forget, #TrumpShutdown wouldn’t have happened if @realDonaldTrump hadn’t overturned #DACA just because it was Obama’s program. #Dreamers

–

Trump wants to invoke “Nuclear Option” to end shutdown. Tweeted like a man who never thinks there will be elections again. Or someone who just likes the idea of nukes..

–

“Every time we have a proposal it is only yanked back by staff members. As long as Stephen Miller is in charge of negotiating immigration, we’re going nowhere.”
Another liberal politican? Nope @LindseyGrahamSC

–

So has #CadetBoneSpurs not thought of a derogatory nickname for Tammy Duckworth yet?

–

Duke now has top 3 @ESPN basketball recruits for 2018. They’ll be heading to Durham for some of the best months of their lives.

–

Kansas basketball freshman Billy Preston has signed with European team.  Preston hadn’t  actually even played yet for Jayhawks. He’d been suspended last fall after his single-car accident in a Lexus with questionable “financial picture.”

Is Billy the first ‘None and done?”

–

What time is the Saints game this Sunday. Oh. damn… never mind.

–

Since @FLOTUS is stuck in DC this weekend, wonder if she thought about sneaking out to join #WomensMarchDC?

OMB Director Mick Mulvaney “I found out for 1st time last night that the person who technically shuts the government down is me, which is kind of cool.” Can’t imagine how Trump administration gets reputation for being heartless bastards.

–

Thinking if your heritage isn’t Native American you have no right to think #TrumpShutdown is justified over immigration.

–

Haiti is an island, Africa is an ocean away. Immigrants from Trump’s so-called “shithole” countries come by plane or boat. Wall wouldn’t help. #TrumpShutdown

–

Schumer “Negotiating w/ Trump is like negotiating with Jell-O” So for next #TrumpShutdown cocktail may I nominate a Bitter Orange Jell-O shot?

–

Mueller probe apparently will continue during #TrumpShutdown. But if there are any $$$ problems guessing a Go Fund Me page could be arranged.

–

Missouri Governor Eric Greitens, accused of physically abusing his mistress, and blackmailing her with nude pictures.

“‘I’m very confident that God has a way of bringing good from difficulty. Yeah, God is pissed & she thinks you should quit.

Missouri Gov. #Greitens denies blackmail, doesn’t deny taking illicit pictures of his lover. Translation, he sent pictures & is afraid someone has copies.

–

reitens “‘I’m very confident that God has a way of bringing good from difficulty. Yeah, God is pissed & she thinks you should quit.

At his first SF Giants press conference Evan Longoria was asked about playing at AT&T Park vs Tropicana Field. A chuckle – “Outdoors, with fans..?”

–

Can someone buy Longoria a kitten?  A big one. #MissingSkeeter

–

Thinking chances no one at USA Gymnastics knew about Larry Nassar are about as high as chances no one at Penn State knew about Jerry Sandusky.

–

Tom Brady might be injured. This could be good news for Super Bowl advertisers. With a Bortles-Foles potential QB matchup, millions of Americans really will watch for the commercials.

Minnesota Vikings trying to trademark “Minneapolis Miracle” & ‘Minnesota Miracle.” New Orleans Saints have potential trademarked phrases too, but none could get past government censors.

–

Sadly remembering days when worst worry about girls and #USAGymnasticswas eating disorders.

–

NFL said Raiders didn’t violate Rooney Rule in hiring Jon Gruden. Proving once again only rule @NFL really cares about is the Golden one – whoever has gold, makes rules.

–

Trump today “Right now in a number of states, the laws allow a baby to be born from his or her mother’s womb in the ninth month. It is wrong. It has to change.”
Can’t imagine why some still question his mental competency.

–

Waiting for the t-shirt – “My President went to Mar-A-Lago and all I got was this lousy Shutdown.” #TrumpShutdown

–

A new poll found 70% of Canadians had negative view of Trump’s first year in office, 13% were positive. It’s all a strategy to build a wall and have Canada pay for it?

Okay, what about putting the Turpin parents, Larry Nassar and Jerry Sandusky all in the same cell?  –  And maybe charging on pay-per-view.

–

Trump touts new “conscience & religious freedom” division within HHS so medical professionals don’t have to violate their moral/religious beliefs.
What if their beliefs tell them not to treat thrice-married serial adulterers?

So Lindsey Graham & Jeff Flake remembered where they put their spine? #TrumpShutdown

–

So at @realDonaldTrump’s $100,000 a couple anniversary party tomorrow will the band play “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to?” #TrumpShutdown

Pretty sure any #TrumpShutdown cocktail includes Russian vodka and bitter orange. A very bitter orange.

#TrumpShutdown cocktail nominations – I’ll start -Donald Wallbanger – includes Russian vodka and artificial orange. Lots of twists. And when you wake up you’ll feel like you were hit with a rolled up magazine.

Trump married woman he cheated on his 1st wife with; imagine if he’d repeated pattern – “First Lady Stormy Trump?”

Class of Jacksonville kids sent folder of cards – “Dear Jags, Want to beat the Patriots? Here’s how …. Advice from your #1 fans in Bolles First Grade.”
Shame no New Orleans kids sent one to Saints – “At end of game, please just tackle players inbounds.”

–

Former USA gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar wrote judge complaining that “listening to (victim) impact statements is detrimental to his mental health.” Well, heck, let’s play recordings of them into his prison cell.

#USAGymnastics to end relationship with Karolyi Ranch, the training facility where Larry Nassar sexually abused girls, Next assume they will go chase down horses & bolt those barn doors.

–

Thinking the chances that no one at USA Gymnastics knew about Larry Nassar are about as high as the chances no one at Penn State knew about Jerry Sandusky.

–

So when #AmazonHQ2 finalists were announced, did all 20 cities get a rose?

United Airlines is going to add “more spacious seats” for their Premium Economy on international flights – and dub it “Premium Plus.” Sounds good for those who can pay the difference. And the new seats will take more room, which means those in back of plane get more chance for knees to chest calisthenics

Anyone against death penalty might reconsider upon reading details of the #TurpinFamily case. Seriously.

–

Or  maybe we should just put the Turpin family and Larry Nassar in the same cell, or general population, at the same time?

–

To be fair to Trump’s doctor, pretty sure when he said 6’3″ it was because he wouldn’t have dared push height rod down on President’s hair.

–

Trump tweeted he is going to Pennsylvania to campaign for GOP candidate in Congressional special election. Great news, for Democrat Conor Lamb.

If Trump had Stormy Daniels spank him with a Forbes magazine, I don’t even want to imagine what she had him do with a copy of Time.

–

Remember those innocent days when the most embarrassing detail about a President we had to discuss with our children was a blow job?

–