Archive for December 2019

Making moves

December 31, 2019

Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder has “relieved” GM Bruce Allen of his duties.   This is like a rotting fish head getting rid of some gills.

GM Ryan Pace says Chicago Bears are committed to Mitchell Trubisky as their starting QB for 2020.   Translation, they don’t have any better options.

Baylor coach Matt Rhule turned down interview with the Cleveland Browns. Apparently Rhule is holding out for a better amateur team?

After being booed at Oakland home games, Derek Carr on Raiders move to Las Vegas “It’s exciting. I think it’s time for some fresh air.” Right, because forget Oakland Silver & Black die-hards.   No stadium will be as loyal as one where 99% of fans will have $$$ bet on the game?

More on that Sunday night game.  With 4 downs to get it in from the 1, Russell Wilson could have spiked the ball TWICE and Marshawn Lynch would have had two chances to win the game. 

Baseball Hall of Fame voting results will be announced on January 21.  Many baseball writers thought Barry Bonds was an a**hole, which isn’t helping his chances. But anyone who won’t consider Bonds and voted to put  Curt Schilling in… well, I’m white and think you just might be a racist.

 

CES  – Consumer Electronics Show – often attacked for their lack of women speakers – has now named Ivanka Trump  a keynote speaker for their January convention in Las Vegas.   Why?  Because unlike dad,  Nepotism Barbie knows how to use spell-check on her phone?

White House twitter feed is boasting about Donald Trump’s “spending Thanksgiving” with troops in Afghanistan.   Uh, please, he spent less than three hours on the ground.  Maybe his bone spurs started acting up.

 

As we approach the end of 2019, have to ask Twitter,  if any other human being had spewed as much hatred and as many attacks on other Americans as Donald Trump would he (or she) be allowed to keep his account in 2020?

 

Deja vu all over again.

December 29, 2019

 

Apparently having the Seachickens first and goal at the one-yard line in a big game is exactly where a team wants them to win the game.   

Well of course it makes some sense that you get a delay of game with less than 30 seconds left in game at the 1 yard line on the goal line on the road… Oh wait, game was in #Seattle. #PeteCarroll is a bleeping idiot.

Although while Pete Carroll stupidity plays a huge part, even when Saints aren’t playing they get screwed by a missed blatant pass-interference call.  

 

Tom Brady and New England Patriots don’t have a first-round bye for first time since 2009. Thoughts and prayers.

Sigh, nothing is certain but death, taxes, and Detroit Lions blowing leads in 4th quarters.

The Lions played the Packers twice this year. Green Bay NEVER led in the game.  But won both (as time expired.)   That should give Detroit a special place in the “Snatching Defeat from Victory” Hall of Fame.

Owner Dan Snyder has apparently relieved Washington team president Bruce Allen of responsibilities for football operations, and Snyder himself will hire next head coach. The Redskins are almost as well-oiled a machine as the White House.

As Trump attacks California and Texas over their homeless population, worth noting that the highest homelessness by percentage in US is Washington, DC. So if Donald has grand ideas to fix things perhaps he could issue a local Executive Order from his White House bedroom?

If anyone doubted what a good job Nancy Pelosi is doing with impeachment, take a look at how often Trump is tweeting and retweeting deranged things about her.

Headline “‘Heroic’ parishioners stop Texas church shootout in 6 seconds.” Better future headline “America figures out a way to stop having shootouts in church.” #GunControlNow

Easy to get kicked off Twitter, almost impossible to be kicked off Facebook. Trump tonight retweeted a post praising conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer, who has been kicked off Facebook. Enough said.

 

Several people attacked at a Hannakuh ceremony last night and Trump first  reaction is to spend morning attacking..Nancy Pelosi?! Are we great yet?

 

Took Trump several hours before he responded on the latest church shooting.  Don’t suppose this has anything to do with it – From Gallup earlier this year. “65% of Jews identify with or lean toward the Democratic Party, with 30% identifying with or leaning toward the Republican Party.

Or was he waiting in hopes that of finding out the shooter was an immigrant.

Fighting off?

December 27, 2019

As a Stanford grad I know we’re supposed to root for Pac 12 at all times. But can’t help smiling watching USC losing by more than three touchdowns to Iowa.

For years, the maximum allowable gift value for players in Bowl Games has been $550 per player, and none of the gifts can be sold. Despite arguments, the NCAA has come against raising that limit.
Meanwhile, for the top bowl games, a decent ticket costs more than $550.

CNN showing their top 10 sports stories of the year. #5 “Blown call costs Saints spot in Super Bowl.”
See, it’s not just New Orleans fans who know. #SaintsWereRobbed #WhoDatNation

Antonio Brown is working out for the Saints. Have to assuming Sean Payton is just f*cking with Roger Goodell.

Washington Capitals. Alex Ovechkin, who just returned from Mar-A-Lago, says despite being voted by fans as All-Star Game Captain he’ll accept a one-game suspension and miss the game to “listen to his body.” So did he miss the message from his body not to go party for a few days and eat junk food with Donald?

Melting down over a movie cameo cut by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation in 2014? With all due respect I have blueberries in my fridge with thicker skins than Trump.

Story that Trump is looking for a new Secretary of State since Mike Pompeo is expected to run for Senate. Based on today’s news reports have to wonder if Edward Gallagher is now on the list?

Look, it’s pretty simple. If it was a “perfect phone call,” and Trump is innocent, he should want as many witnesses as possible testifying. Period.

Now after midnight on the East Coast on a holiday weekend, I challenge ANYONE with an elderly parent to read @realDonaldTrump late night ranting Twitter feed tonight & tell me if were your parent you wouldn’t be on phone tomorrow to their doctor.

Shut down

December 27, 2019

Thinking back to those days when the Notre Dame-Miami games were considered “Catholics vs Convicts.”

Not sure about the “Convicts” part these days but thinking the Hurricanes being shut out 14-0 in a college bowl game by Louisiana Tech is criminally bad football.

Sixteen days between this year’s college football semifinals, and championship game. Wow. Players have so much time off they might even have to go to class.

And seriously, 16 days…. given American attention spans will anyone remember who’s still playing?

I think 16 days was longer than the James Wiseman era at Duke.

Eastern Michigan QB Mike Glass III was ejected from the Quick Lane bowl for throwing punches at two Pitt players.  Is Glass  trying to get drafted by the Jaguars, or the Browns?

Have to wonder, how many younger people see the movie “Little Women” and think “It would be a great book?”

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Chuck Todd admits several times he has been naive about the Republicans’ commitment to disinformation. And he still has very high-paying jobs. Any more questions about White Male Privilege?

 

 

Donald Trump is upset because he apparently just found out that Canadian Broadcasting  Corporation edited him out of a cameo role in  Home Alone 2, and he’s blaming “Justin T.”

CBC edited that Home Alone 2 cameo out in 2014, if Trudeau could have edited Trump out of anything, wouldn’t Justin have edited him out of video of say, G7 summits?

At this point have to wonder if Justin Trudeau is tempted to put a ban on episodes of “The Apprentice” in Canada just to troll Trump?

Meanwhile, have to think maybe Donald is still just a little miffed about this picture.

melandjustin.jpg

Seriously,  Rick Santorum lost his bid for re-election to the Senate in Pennsylvania by 18 points. So why does CNN, or anyone else, care what he thinks?

 

Ah but those ratings.

December 26, 2019

Have to imagine that NBA powers-that-be had better ratings in mind when they scheduled Golden State Warriors vs Houston Rockets and New Orleans Pelicans vs Denver Rockets.

But then for NBA Christmas – Matthew 20-16 So the last shall be first, and the first last. 

A lot of people took Christmas Day off. Apparently including the Houston Rockets and Denver Nuggets.

Universal Studios, which produced “Cats,” has pulled their Oscar consideration push.  Just after the Cleveland Browns decided not to produce playoff tickets?

 

 

For those of us who have thought “Dear Santa…. can you bring me one brave Republican who believes the oath she/he took?” Merry Christmas!

Sen. Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska, says she was “disturbed” to hear Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell say there would be “total coordination” between White House & Senate over upcoming presidential impeachment trial.  “To me it means that we have to take that step back from being hand in glove with the defense, and so I heard what leader McConnell had said, I happened to think that that has further confused the process.”

As Jimmy Carter, 95, enjoyed a quiet Christmas as home, let’s remember this Mondale quote at the Carter library – “We told the truth, we obeyed the law, we kept the peace.”

Karl Rove says “Clinton’s Impeachment Was Dignified.” Uh, right about now the GOP’s reputation is stained more than Monica’s blue dress.

So who besides me wonders when Trump will say he’s done more for Christmas than Jesus?

Trump tweeted out a lie about retail sales. Who besides me is waiting for him to say he’s done more for Christmas than Jesus?

And who had Nancy Pelosi, Gavin Newsom and the FBI on Trump’s “Christmas Insult Bingo” card?

 

Trump campaign sent out instructions for their supporters to deal with “snowflake” liberal relatives and impeachment at Christmas.

Uh, except liberals aren’t the snowflakes blocking Trump aides, and Trump himself, from testifying.

Priorities

December 25, 2019

That moment when I wonder, why did it take so long to become a Klobuchar fan? One of her Christmas Eve tweets – “Ok that was a long, hard and frustrating @Vikings game. Note to @Packers fans wondering about my allegiance to the @Vikings despite Wisconsin primary: it will take a few days to get over that game but we will still see you in the playoffs…”

And yes, I am aware, Minnesota may be heading to New Orleans….   Sigh. #WhoDat

Marshawn Lynch is back with the Seahawks for this weekend’s game against the 49ers.  Upon meeting reporters at Seattle’s team headquarters he said  “Happy holidays.  Merry New Year. Y’all have a great day. It’s a great feeling to be back. Thank you.”

Wow, by Lynch standards practically a sermon.

 

So on Christmas Eve does Trump watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” and consider it a tragedy because Potter doesn’t win?

No grift too small. Ivanka and Jared made a “stop in Paris” on their way to Mar-A-Lago and visited “Station F, the world’s largest startup campus.”
Okay, I’m a travel agent. A few things: 1, With the transit strikes plus holiday, traffic congestion has effectively shut down Paris for normal people. 2. No one is going to work at a startup campus on Christmas Eve anyway. 3. Ivanka and Jared get a motorcade with police help for all the touring/shopping/dining they want. 4. US taxpayers are paying for all this. Joyeux Noel!

Bus or sleigh to hell time.

Early Tuesday morning, an elderly man riding Spirit Airlines passed away en route to Atlanta from Las Vegas. Hope it wasn’t betting on the Vikings for Monday Night Football that killed him.

Apologies to Clement Clark Moore formy Trump night before Christmas…

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my Club,
I was looking to find some cold hamberder grub.
Cash bags were hung near the chimneys with care
In hopes that rich donors would fill them up there..

Elsewhere children were nestled all snug in their cages.
But red meat to my base counts much more than their ages.
And Melania with her kidneys and I with my wig.
Had our separate rooms, both of them BIG.
When while stumbling around I heard such a clatter,
I pressed my remote to see what was the matter.
Fox and Friends had said nothing, CNN is all a**es
So I called my staff to throw up the sashes.

Alas no Miss Universe breasts on the new-fallen snow,
But security cams showed up objects below,
And what to my blurry eyes did appear,
But a cheap toy-filled sleigh and eight puny reindeer,
The driver had little hands, and he moved so quick.
Not a donor, or MAGA, perhaps a deep state trick?
More rapid than eagles fleeing windmills they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them foreign names:
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!

So an IMMIGRANT, at my wall,, who was trying to fly.
But my Wall and Space Force can protect the sky.
Up to the rooftop the mangy beasts flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and the bad hombre too
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As Don Jr drew his gun and was turning around,
Down the chimney the old guy came with a bound.
Clearly a refugee, fur head to foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
Lots of toys, probably stolen, were flung on his back,
And he looked like a socialist just opening his pack.

A probable crack pipe was held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a fat face, and an overstuffed belly.
Clearly too much food stamps for PB and jelly.

He was chubby, not like me, a Jeff Sessions type elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
The poor fool had no idea what he had to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Put toys, but not cash in the stockings, the jerk.
Then the fool flipped me off, finger next to his nose.
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, and tried to whistle.
But the deer were all dead, thanks to Don’s well-shot missles.
Though I heard him scream as ICE took him from sight
“Next time vote blue, for a good Christmas night!”

Nothing is certain

December 23, 2019

But death, taxes, and Kirk Cousins s*cking on Monday night football.

 

Looks like you can take Kirk Cousins out of the Washington Redskins, but you can’t take the Washington Redskins out of Kirk Cousins.

Though Minneapolis weather at game time tonight for Monday Night Football was 35 degrees. Both teams probably wished they could open the roof with that balmy weather.

Okay, UCF kind of destroyed Marshall in the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl.
Not that I really care about the game, but the “Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl” is almost a good enough name to compete with the late lamented “Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl.”

Marshawn Lynch has returned to the Seattle Seahawks for a one-game contract.  Wonder how many Skittles are involved?

Could this be more apt? Ordered a “Long-suffering Mets fan” shirt for a long-suffering Mets fan for Christmas. And it got lost in the mail. #ThatsSoMets

Kevin Costner is having a fun week. Not only is he endorsing Pete Buttigieg in Iowa, but also Waterworld probably dethroned as the most expensive flop ever by Cats.

Our newly impeached POTUS is whining… “Pelosi gives us the most unfair trial in the history of the U.S. Congress.” Gosh, if only Trump could do something, like allow witnesses to testify, or even testify himself.

Five people been sentenced to death for murder journalist Jamal Khashoggi, but “the two most senior officials implicated in the case, including an adviser to Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, were cleared of wrongdoing.”
And I’m sure the trial was as fair as McConnell wants to make Trump’s impeachment trial in the Senate.

 

A fight in a New Jersey mall, a smash-and-grab robbery in a California mall… in both cases shoppers assumed another mass shooting.
This holiday spirit brought to you by GOP Congress bought and paid for by the NRA.

Lindsey Graham says that by refusing to send articles of impeachment to the Senate, Nancy Pelosi is “She’s trampling on separation of powers.” While Mitch McConnell says he is coordinating impeachment trial with White House? Irony, your usual table is ready.

So for those big spenders at Mar-A-Lago, will Trump reward them with a Christmas dinner of hamberders?

 

Trump hasn’t been golfing since his sudden “routine physical.” Is there a chance he’s got stitches from seeing someone like Melania’s kidney surgeon?

Trump claimed again last night windmills kill bald eagles. So is he upset they don’t leave enough for his sons to shoot?

Trump seems increasingly obsessed with windmills. Maybe he overhead a bit of the “The Bachelorette” and thinks everyone but him is having sex in them?