Archive for December 23, 2019

Nothing is certain

December 23, 2019

But death, taxes, and Kirk Cousins s*cking on Monday night football.

 

Looks like you can take Kirk Cousins out of the Washington Redskins, but you can’t take the Washington Redskins out of Kirk Cousins.

Though Minneapolis weather at game time tonight for Monday Night Football was 35 degrees. Both teams probably wished they could open the roof with that balmy weather.

Okay, UCF kind of destroyed Marshall in the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl.
Not that I really care about the game, but the “Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl” is almost a good enough name to compete with the late lamented “Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl.”

Marshawn Lynch has returned to the Seattle Seahawks for a one-game contract.  Wonder how many Skittles are involved?

Could this be more apt? Ordered a “Long-suffering Mets fan” shirt for a long-suffering Mets fan for Christmas. And it got lost in the mail. #ThatsSoMets

Kevin Costner is having a fun week. Not only is he endorsing Pete Buttigieg in Iowa, but also Waterworld probably dethroned as the most expensive flop ever by Cats.

Our newly impeached POTUS is whining… “Pelosi gives us the most unfair trial in the history of the U.S. Congress.” Gosh, if only Trump could do something, like allow witnesses to testify, or even testify himself.

Five people been sentenced to death for murder journalist Jamal Khashoggi, but “the two most senior officials implicated in the case, including an adviser to Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, were cleared of wrongdoing.”
And I’m sure the trial was as fair as McConnell wants to make Trump’s impeachment trial in the Senate.

 

A fight in a New Jersey mall, a smash-and-grab robbery in a California mall… in both cases shoppers assumed another mass shooting.
This holiday spirit brought to you by GOP Congress bought and paid for by the NRA.

Lindsey Graham says that by refusing to send articles of impeachment to the Senate, Nancy Pelosi is “She’s trampling on separation of powers.” While Mitch McConnell says he is coordinating impeachment trial with White House? Irony, your usual table is ready.

So for those big spenders at Mar-A-Lago, will Trump reward them with a Christmas dinner of hamberders?

 

Trump hasn’t been golfing since his sudden “routine physical.” Is there a chance he’s got stitches from seeing someone like Melania’s kidney surgeon?

Trump claimed again last night windmills kill bald eagles. So is he upset they don’t leave enough for his sons to shoot?

Trump seems increasingly obsessed with windmills. Maybe he overhead a bit of the “The Bachelorette” and thinks everyone but him is having sex in them?