Archive for May 2019

New sport, eh?

May 30, 2019

Just one game, and not saying Canada is ready for a new national sport. But the last team from the country to win a major sports championship was the 1993 Blue Jays.

(Canadiens won same year, 1993, but in June)

 

All these sportswriters who counted themselves lucky not to have to spell Giannis Antetokounmpo now have to figure out how to spell Pascal Siakam.

Siakam originally as a young teenager wanted to be a priest.  Well, he did have Warriors fans screaming “Jesus Christ” tonight.

 

The Chicago Cubs and St. Louis Cardinals will play a two game series in London, England in 2020.  St. Louis will be the “home” team.   Now, I see the point in inviting two well known teams, who both regularly sell out at home, but wouldn’t it make more  $$$ sense for MLB to schedule a series between two good teams who usually play to half-empty stadiums?

Duke’s Zion Williamson has signed with the CAA Sports agency. So much for both people who dreamed he might return to school.

Eight co-winners of the Scripps spelling bee tonight.  Rishik Gandhasri, Erin Howard, Saketh Sundar, Shruthika Padhy, Sohum Sukhatankar, Abhijay Kodali, Christopher Serrao and Rohan Raja.

Just guessing none of the eight will be invited to the White House.

Trump is going to start adding, and increasing, tariffs on Mexico until they somehow stop all illegal migrants from reaching US border.
This could be the best millennial 2020 GOTV campaign ever – wait until the price doubles for avocado toast.

Trump claims he knew nothing about tarping of USS John McCain. “Now, somebody did it because they thought I didn’t like him, OK? And they were well-meaning….” So shouldn’t “Commander-in-chief” know what our armed forces are doing? Asking for a country.

Department of Energy yesterday sent out a press release referring to fossil fuels as “freedom gas” and “molecules of freedom.”
So congratulations to all those who had May 29 in the “When will we be reminded of just how stupid Rick Perry actually is?” pool.

“Case Closed” could be Trump’s “Mission Accomplished.”

 

 

Uh,  Donald Trump tweeting this am about “Russia helping me to get elected.” As poet Jon Stallworthy wrote “and every now and then our lies betray us into truth.”

Advertisements

Foul balls and foul teams.

May 29, 2019

A young girl is apparently okay after she was struck by a foul ball and taken to hospital during a Cubs-Astros game.  But some are calling for protective netting to go all the way around field at major league ballparks.

So will they also call for people not to drive children to games, since they are far more likely to be killed or injured on highways?

(Not to mention, attendance is already down around MLB, guessing losing even the hope of catching a foul ball or having one tossed by a player to you or your kid cannot be helping.)

Former SF Giants Angel Pagan had to be rescued after a boating accident in Puerto Rico. Of course had he been a member of 2019 SF Giants it would have been no problem, even had he fallen out of the boat he wouldn’t have hit water.

As bad as SF Giants have been, the last time they won a game, May 19, was only one day earlier than the Warriors last win.

Random thought after passing of Bart Starr. He led Packers when they were a dynasty, back when I first became aware of football. For all you youngsters, imagine the Patriots if Tom Brady were a nice guy.

Widow of man who was killed of coast of Maui, in first fatal shark attack in Hawaii since 2015, says now that there were no warning signs on the beach.
While it was awful, shark attacks ARE rare. On the other hand, pretty impossible to say in many places that if you’re in the ocean, there are no sharks. They were in the water first.

 

Few instant pleasures are as satisfying in life as somehow, on a hunch or a half-buried memory, correctly guessing a Final Jeopardy question.

Many Plains, Midwest and MidSouth states have already been hit by tornadoes this year. Preachers and GOP pundits who ascribe natural disasters in blue states to “God’s Will” are being strangely quiet.

 

Apparently the White House ordered the  USS John McCain to be covered by a tarp so seeing the ship wouldn’t upset Trump during his visit to Japan.

Now, Donald claims they didn’t do it on his orders, so it might have been staff trying to avoid triggering him. But the man who claimed he would run into a school unarmed to face a killer is intimidated by a man who isn’t even alive anymore. What a pathetic and sad little President we have.

Mitch McConnell now says he would fill a Supreme Court vacancy even if it’s a few months before the 2020 election.
This is the political equivalent of shooting someone in the middle of 5th Avenue and feeling you can get away with it.

Team player?

May 28, 2019

Kevin Durant flew to Toronto with Warriors for Games 1 and 2.
So is there a chance he’s playing game 2? Or is KD just trolling Kawhi for not traveling to playoffs with the Spurs last year?.

SF Giants Miami Marlins attendance looks like a Montreal Expos crowd only smaller.

 

 

Orlando temperatures broke a record for May 28 with a high of 97 degrees today.
So if you think you’re having a bad day, at least you’re not in a two-hour line for Splash Mountain.

 

The Fresno Grizzlies Triple-A baseball team has apologized for a Memorial Day video in which Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was depicted among “enemies of freedom.”
The Grizzlies, formerly a Giants farm team, are now affiliated with the Washington Nationals. So at least there’s ONE embarrassment SF Giants fans are being spared this season.

It costs about $45,000 to climb Everest. Just thinking that for that amount of money climbers could probably save lives instead of risking their own.

RIP  Bill Buckner. Will he be posthumously inducted into Mets Hall of Fame?

Clarence Thomas seems so upset about both abortion and even birth control have to wonder if his first wife took the pill against his wishes?

Missouri is dealing with severe weather tonight including a tornado that touched down in Kansas City. Maybe God heard about the abortion ban and decided she is pissed?

Trump  being ‘Presidential” on Memorial Day by attacking Joe Biden over the 1994 Crime Bill, and saying “anyone associated with the bill will not have a chance of being elected. In particular, African Americans will not be able to vote for you.”
Wonder what the Central Park Five think?

WTF? Trump fundraising email of the day, talking about “socialist Democrats:”Today is actually Bernie’s anniversary and he loves radical socialism so much that he took his honeymoon to the Soviet Union. What a joke!”
Did Putin suggest Donald write that?

We the new North.

May 26, 2019

Finland won its third world hockey title,  3-1 victory over Canada on Sunday.  And in Canada they’re thinking… .who cares, our new national sport is basketball.

R.I.P. HOF former Green Bay Packers QB Bart Starr. But for those who remember him from our childhood… how did he get to be 85?

 

Many Americans are taking Memorial Day weekend off. Did someone tell SF Giants they didn’t have to?

 

Trump sent a congratulatory tweet to Simon Pagenaud for barely beating Alexander Rossi in Indy 500 and an invitation for Simon and Roger Penske to visit the White House. So nobody explained to Donald that a Frenchman won over an American?

And Trump tweet included “I am in Japan, very early in the morning, but I got to watch Simon drive one of the greatest races in the history of the sport.”

Didn’t have any of those early morning tweets about say, the devastation and deaths from tornadoes affecting Americans this week.

 

A man was killed swimming off the beach near Kaanapali, Maui. Sad but wonder how many tourists will now avoid the ocean when there is far more of a chance to be killed as a pedestrian on Hawaii streets.
Or for that matter driving to or from the airport.

As Britain struggles over Leave or Remain surely there have to be other Americans besides me who think if the South wants to leave again, let them go?

Regarding Nancy Pelosi and her dealings with Donald Trump – remember, we are 17 plus months from election. If sports teaches us nothing else, remember, it’s not the regular season, it’s the playoffs. And in many ways, the 2020 election IS the playoffs.

 

Conservative GOP Senator Joni Ernst disagrees with Trump, saying “I find North Korean missile tests ‘very disturbing'”

Can we dream that “very disturbing” is a more actionable statement than ‘very concerned?”

Sarah Sanders this morning said Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un have the same opinion of Joe Biden. Thank you Sarah for writing one of Biden’s first commercials.

Smallest of mercies

May 25, 2019

Well, at least SF Giants held Diamondbacks last night under three touchdowns.

Kevin Durant is upset with the idea that the Warriors might be better without him. Well, it’s not like since his injury they’ve won five straight games or anything.

This year’s College Football Playoff semifinals will be played Sat. Dec 28.
So players on half the teams good enough to make the playoffs will be able to relax on New Year’s Eve and watch the big bowl games New Year’s Day at home?

So with one team whose coach & players openly criticize him, and another likely team from Canada, pretty sure White House  won’t be issuing a White House invitation to NBA champions.

 

The KKK is marching in Dayton, Ohio this Saturday. I missed the Trump tweet taking credit.

Meanwhile this week’s winner in the “You can’t make this sh*t up” department… the owners of a Noah’s Ark attraction are suing their insurance company over almost $1 million in damages caused by… flooding.

Though a close runner up might be this verbatim tweet from Rudy Giuliani  about Nancy Pelosi  –  “ivesssapology for a video which is allegedly is a caricature of an otherwise halting speech pattern, she should first stop, and apologize for, saying the President needs an “intervention.” Are”

Just a hunch that Trump might regret starting a war of words with Nancy Pelosi.

Jon Voight in a video posted last night called Donald Trump the “greatest president since Abraham Lincoln.”
Many people have mixed feelings about Angelina Jolie, but it’s always sad when you know you should have an aging parent committed.

As an American, never thought much of  Theresa May, but thought she seemed like a decent if ineffectual Prime Minister.     But  give her credit, can anyone imagine Trump having the good sense to resign?

Your reminder that as much of a mess as Theresa May has left with Brexit process, it was David Cameron’s stupid idea to hold the referendum in the first place.

 

 

Prince Harry will join the Queen and Trump for lunch during Trump’s visit. Meghan must be thrilled to have the excuse of staying home with a chronological baby.

 

 

Fake numbers?

May 23, 2019

U.S. News & World Report says University of Oklahoma has been falsely inflating alumni endowment rates for two decades. Seriously? Did the development office hire people who were use to dealing with football player grades?

Of course, based on the latest scandal, looks like Oklahoma could have gotten plenty of pre-alumni donations…. just for admissions.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones doesn’t think NFL should take action against Ezekiel Elliott after he was seen shoving a security guard into a gate.
Elliott’s attorney said security over-reacted when Elliott was seen arguing with his girlfriend.
Over-under on Zeke’s next arrest?

So if we can disqualify a Kentucky Derby winning horse for briefly running out of his lane, how come we can’t disqualify a Stable Genius for having no concept ever of his lane?

Now it’s going to be the “Cheez-It Fiesta Bowl.”
Somehow it won’t have the same ring not to hear “this is for all the Doritos.”

Today is World Turtle Day Think turtles should sue Mitch McConnell for defaming the species.

USDA recalled more than 60,000 pounds of raw beef products from Aurora Packing Company, saying they might be contaminated.
So why isn’t Trump buying all the meat and donating it to his supporters. It’s only science. Eat the recalled beef and own the libs.

Marco Rubio now wants AG Barr to investigate if John Kerry, after he was no longer Secretary of State, violated federal law by meeting with Iranian officials.
Guess it would have been okay if Kerry met with officials from Russia?

Trump is now telling immigrants that they needs to reimburse the government for welfare benefits.
So how much does Melania owe for living in public housing?

Trump this morning tweeted that Rex Tillerson, is “a man who is “dumb as a rock” and totally ill prepared and ill equipped to be Secretary of State.”
So should we fire the man who hired him?

This is where we’re at folks. A video of Nancy Pelosi, who doesn’t drink, is doctored to make it seem like she’s drunk and slurring words, and not only does Donald Trump retweet it, he makes it his PINNED tweet. Another moment he became Presidential?

High time

May 23, 2019

Retired NFL lineman Chris Long, advocating for the NFL allowing marijuana use “it’s far less dangerous than guzzling a fifth of alcohol and going out after a game. Chances are the player won’t even make it to the club to do this sort of thing that we all kind of wag our finger at when we hear about a guy getting in a fight or getting a DUI, you’re never going to read about him sitting on the couch and binge-watching ‘Game of Thrones’ again.”
Long is right.

(And, heck, aren Doritos and Papa John’s NFL sponsor?)

 

NFL now making a big deal of awarding their future drafts. 2021 will be in Cleveland, 2023 in Kansas City.
I’ll take “Made-for-TV events you couldn’t pay me to attend” for $1,000, Alex.

Is it wrong if I don’t care if Natalie Portman and Moby dated?

Adam Schiff “I think Bill Barr has all the duplicity of Rudy Giuliani without all the good looks and general likability of Rudy Giuliani,”
Troll level – Master

Ben Carson now says he mixed up REOs and Oreos because he “was having difficulty hearing” during the committee hearing.
Gosh, well, hearing loss could be a symptom of a serious problem, maybe he should step down as HUD secretary and have that checked?

Trump now claiming since he won’t work with Democrats he can’t do any infrastructure legislation. Gosh, if only he had ever had a chance to have all of Congress controlled by Republicans. Oh, wait. Never mind.

At this point Donald Trump seems so unhinged have to hope he doesn’t pull a Mrs. Danvers in the White House.

Trump – “I don’t do cover-ups.”
Translation, “I hire people to do them for me.”

On the same day Trump says he doesn’t do cover-ups, Fox News headline is about Michael Avenatti defrauding Stormy Daniels of money she received in part from agreeing to cover-up her and Donald’s affair.
#WhyThereIsNoSatire

If Trump as he tweeted doesn’t need banks then there’s no problem with Deutsche Bank and Capital One turning over his records, right?

That moment when you claim it was a spontaneous angry press conference but magically there are pre-printed signs in the Rose Garden.