Archive for September 2012

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Are we ready for some football?

September 8, 2012

Oregon State beats #13 Wisconsin 10-7. Is it too late to take back that bump in the polls Alabama got for crushing Michigan?

 

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Scary thought of the day: Barry Goldwater would be too liberal for today’s Republican party.

 

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Although the league now has teams in four different time zones, the Big East will keep its name due to “brand equity.” Makes at least as much sense as politicians on their second and third wives defending marriage.

 

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The Nationals shut down Stephen Strasburg a start early, with Davey Johnson saying “I feel it’s as hard for him as it would be anybody to get mentally, totally committed in the ballgame.” Uh, by that standard, shouldn’t we also shut down the Red Sox?

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Good news for anyone tired of this Presidential election. It’s less than two months until November 7. When the 2016 campaign starts.

 

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Vladimir Putin, in a recent interview touching on the “Pussy Riot” situation, commented that “Some fans of group sex say that it’s better than one-on-one because, as with any collective work, you can skive off.” In related news, Bill Clinton just asked President Obama about being named ambassador to Russia.

 

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Tim Tebow is dismissing Santonio Holmes’ comment about Mark Sanchez being “rattled” by the Jets trade for Tebow. Right. Like Hillary wouldn’t mind hearing now that Bill wanted to hire more interns.

 

On Friday, Mitt Romney was  already criticizing President Obama’s speech, though he admits not watching it. Can’t imagine how some people think Mitt acts like an expert on things he knows nothing about.

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Really? A Maryland legislator and pastor, Emmett C. Burns Jr, is attacking Ravens LB Brendon Ayanbadejo for supporting gay marriage – “appalled and aghast that a member of the Ravens Football Team would step into this controversial divide and try to sway public opinion.” Uh, where were his complaints on Tim Tebow?

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Baltimore and New York are now tied for first place in the AL East. Undaunted, the Yankees are reportedly making plans to buy the Orioles.

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Five players from DeMatha Catholic High School in Hyattsville, Md have apparently been dismissed for hiring prostitutes during a recent road trip. What, no teachers were available?

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Mitt Romney’s campaign announced they have purchased $4.5 million in new television advertising in swing states. By the time this election is over, swing state viewers will look forward longingly to used car and Viagra ads again.

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Two more months…

September 7, 2012

Until the election.  And television viewers in non-swing states can go back not to seeing political commercials.   Those in Ohio, Florida, Virginia, North Carolina…..etc,  will be longing for used car and fast food ads.  If they aren’t already.

The conventions are over.  Which means real fans of  hot air have to go back to the Weather Channel.

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To combine phrases from Joe Biden and Barack Obama, these days a sentence for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan is “a noun, a verb, and a tax cut.”

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Bill Clinton was magic Thursday night.    On the other hand,  he reminds many women of a charismatic but narcissistic ex-boyfriend.  You see him again after years and you remember why he was so dazzling.  But if he were to stick around full-time you’d probably remember why you got tired of his act.

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While it was a great speech, Bill Clinton did forget to thank Barack Obama for his favorite first-term accomplishment – having Hillary on the road for 351 days already as of July, 2012.

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After John Kerry mentioned her in a speech, Sarah Palin said she was surprised he knew her name. Interesting comment from a politician whose PR machine rivals the Kardashians.

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Bobby Valentine said in an interview that his first season in Boston has been “miserable.” Not half as miserable as for Red Sox fans who’ve paid money to watch it.

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Details, details… A new GOP ad has a frustrated former Obama supporter saying how disappointed she is. Only issue, the woman actually works for the RNC. (A big deal? Maybe, maybe not, but can you imagine if a Dem ad used a staffer who claimed she used to be pro-Romney?)

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After a report saying that 40-60% of Oregon football players smoked pot, the University is implementing random drug testing of all athletes. Got to love it, suspensions from the team start with the THIRD offense.

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A new toll road near Austin, Texas, will have a speed limit of 85 mph. Wonder how fast people can text while driving it.

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Mitt Romney said he wasn’t going to watch President Obama’s speech. Makes a certain amount of sense, he already had his rebuttal ready.

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A serious thought  – “We don’t believe government can solve all our problems, but we don’t believe government is the source of all our problems.” Nicely said, Mr. President.

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From Marc Ragovin:  Art Modell has died. For those too young to know who he was, he was the white, Jewish, Lebron James.

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Elvis has returned to the building.

September 6, 2012

Overlooked Bill Clinton comment on Barack Obama’s bipartisan talents:   “He appointed Cabinet members who supported Hillary in the primaries — heck, he even appointed Hillary.”

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A thought about our 24/7 modern electronic era. Wonder if Bill Clinton would have ever been elected if he had the ability to send pictures and text from a phone?

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Who’d have thought a generation ago that the Democratic party would turn out to have the best Bubba?

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Bill Clinton is hardly a poster child for being a good husband. But all sarcasm aside, after speeches like tonight’s, it’s not hard to see why Hillary has stuck with him all these years. A deeply flawed but fascinating man.

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Amazing to watch how much Paul Ryan and others in the GOP now profess to admire Bill Clinton. This warm fuzzy talk will last exactly until November 7, when they start running against Hillary for 2016.

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There were rumors that the Red Sox had fired Bobby Valentine today. So far those rumors are false. And frustrated Red Sox fans are thinking – “Good, if we have to put up with this mess through the end of the year, so do you.”

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The way the Orioles and A’s are streaking, the New York Yankees could actually miss the playoffs. Quick, how fast can Bud Selig add a third wildcard?

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All this commotion starting with  Paul Ryan being upset about the fact that the word “God”  originally didn’t appear in the Democratic Party platform. … But hey, another document that doesn’t use the world God? The U.S. Constitution.

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From Mark Ricklis:   “Maybe Ly’in Ryan ran the Marathon so fast because he was on that High Fibber diet”

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Ann Romney said today that they haven’t led a “charmed life”, and that with MS “I know what it is like to have no hope.” I’m glad Ann’s disease is in remission. But how can her husband, with the best family healthcare money can buy, now want to deny the basics to the average American?

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San Franciscans who are also baseball fans would like to take a break from politics to extend a hearty thank you to San Diego and the Padres.

(who for non-baseball fan readers, have won two in a row from the Los Angeles Dodgers.)

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Marathon man.

September 5, 2012

The Orioles are tied for first place with in ESPN’s words “the fading Yankees.” “Fading Yankees?” In a time of political discord could we come up with two words that get more bipartisan support?

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This just in  – Bud Selig announces  plans to expand playoffs further this year. How far?   Just enough so that the Yankees are in the post-season.   (Even Bud has given up on the Red Sox.)

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President Obama said he and the First Lady didn’t go out “schmoozing” much in the evening because they wanted to be home with their daughters. Although in a second term, BOTH girls hit the teenage years – Barack and Michelle may be out every night.

 

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Toughest job of the week at the Democratic convention – Joe Biden, trying to edit his speech down under Paul Ryan’s 2 hour 50 minute marathon time.

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Michelle Obama  painted a great portrait of Barack as a husband and father tonight, as Ann Romney did with Mitt. But really, most Americans would take Darth Vader if he could fix the economy and healthcare.

 

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Paul Ryan now says he did not suggest President Obama was responsible for the GM plant closing before he took office. In Ryan’s defense, it’s easy to get tired and confused when you’re doing that Olympic marathon training.

 

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Amazed the GOP last week didn’t try to recast Neil Armstrong’s first words stepping out of the Lunar Module on the moon as “I built this.”

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Hank Williams Jr, declared again at a concert that “We’ve got a Muslim president.” Adding that Obama “hates cowboys, hates cowgirls, hates fishing, hates farming, loves gays, and we hate him!” Sigh. Proving again that people can change their religion, but being an a**hole is forever.

(Just wondering, what would Fox News do if some liberal gal singer accused Romney of being anti-Christian and said “we hate him?)

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This season USC opened at #1 in college football polls. A ranking that lasted one week until Alabama crushed Michigan. SEC fans are leaning back and thinking “Well, glad that little affirmation action  charade is over.”-

 

“Honey Badger” Tyrann Mathieu, dismissed from the football team has nonetheless enrolled for classes at LSU this fall. Les Miles refuses to speculate on Matieu’s return to the field. I mean, this is all pretty shocking… a once and potentially future LSU football player going to classes?

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Love this Washington Post comment passed on by a friend from “Wheat Farmer.” : “Paul Ryan ran a sub 3 hour marathon?? He must be Kenyan. Check his birth certificate.”

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Regarding the Nationals’ decision to shut down Stephen Strasburg because they are looking to the future and what’s one year? Right, like when the Cubs lost the 1910 World Series, and their fans thought, well, heck, we won in 1908, we’ll be back….

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Apparently many people have been retweeting the news today of Bob Denver’s death. Wonder how long it will take them to add that Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

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Two hours and 121 minutes

September 3, 2012

 

 

If the Paul Ryan marathon lie turns out to make a difference in the election it may be the first major political story broken by “Runner’s World.”

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The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has denied Kim Kardiashian’s request for a star., saying receipients need “to have a career in the business of acting for five years or more.” And Kim is a bit deficient in both the career and the acting department.

 

 

Quote of the week? “He and his wife have been wealthy for a number of years, and so I think that’s really the issue. What does he understand about the common man right now?” Michele Bachmann, talking about President Obama.. (Yes, she said it.)

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Bobby Jindal and President Obama apparently had a perfectly civil visit today touring La Place, LA. Maybe that’s a reason Mitt Romney chose Paul Ryan as a running mate….he’s not a governor of a state that might need federal help from a natural disaster.

 

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Governor Jindal does hope to get an immediate commitment of federal funds from President Obama,  so he can go back to railing about wasteful government spending as soon as possible.

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Mitt Romney’s  Monday tweet.  “Labor Day is a chance to celebrate the strong American work ethic, but too many Americans are worrying when their next paycheck will come.”   No mention of labor unions?  I’m shocked, shocked.

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From Gary M. ” Nittany Lions fans no longer shout, “We are, Penn State!” Now they’re shouting, “We are, State Penn!”

 

 

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Open note to Washington Nationals from  SF Giants fans:    Stephen Strasburg is scheduled for only two more starts, against the Cubs and Mets. Why not save the guy for a tougher opponent….for example a week later against the Dodgers?

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One reason the NCAA has been against a real football playoff system is that it would interfere with classes.   Right, as opposed to things like Monday night college football?

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Britain’s Prince Andrew, 52, rappelled 239 metres down the side of London’s “The Shard,” this morning to raise money for charity. He went from the 87th to the 20th floor in 30 minutes. “Big deal,” said Paul Ryan, “I did it in 20.”

 

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Chair man of the bored.

September 2, 2012

A last thought for the week on the GOP convention. Clint Eastwood’s empty chair got more airtime than Ron Paul.

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Any truth to the rumor that Clint Eastwood was briefly detained on his return flight from Tampa for suspiciously talking to his airline seat?

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Unfortunate choice of words from a Penn State fullback about Saturday’s game: We “know the power football has to bring people together.”

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From Alex Kaseberg:  “New Nike LeBron James shoes cost $300 and come with a built-in IQ test. If you paid $300 for these shoes, you failed.”

(got to wonder, does putting on the shoes give you a sudden desire to move to South Beach?)

 

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USC is being investigated again, this time for two athletes receiving gifts like cars and cars in 2009. Well, hey, with Barkley they may win the national championship and then who cares if the Trojans end up back on probation?

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Well, for all those folks who hated the LSU-Alabama game, I think it’s safe to say that we won’t have another Michigan-Alabama rematch in this year’s BCS championship.

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Mitt Romney said this weekend that Obama wants to cut a trillion dollars out of the military budget, but that he and Paul Ryan wouldn’t cut it at all.  Guess it’s all part of Mitt’s secret plan to reduce the deficit?

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Mitt Romney making sports analogies about firing President Obama as a losing coach. Anyone but me want to hear someone – on camera – ask Romney who his favorite teams are?

Could be another ESPN special.  “The Indecision.”

 

 

 

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Dwight Howard just took out an ad in the Orlando Sentinel saying “Words cannot express the love that I have for Orlando.” Most Magic fans could help him with a few words. A few of the printable ones are in “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

 

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Reverend Sun Myung Moon, 92, died today. The two most common responses in the U.S. – “He was still alive?” And for the younger generation – “Who the heck was Reverend Moon?”

 

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Paul Ryan, who said last week he ran a “two hour and fifty-something” marathon, now admits his time for his one and only marathon was over 4 hours. Gosh, and who would have expected Ryan to stretch the truth?

 

(Wonder if people first got suspicious when Ryan claimed his running buddy was Chris Christie?)

 

 

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A 20 year old fan fell to his death from the upper level of the Georgia Dome, following a 25 year old’s death in Reliant Stadium from trying to slide down a 5th floor elevator escalator. Darwinists and lawyers must be very happy.

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End of the weak jokes.

September 1, 2012

So the GOP is done with their convention,  and next week it’s the Democrats’ turn.   Former President Bill Clinton is expected to play a large role this time around.  Rumor has it he’s already volunteered to help the Secret Service with their advance scouting.

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Quote of the week?. “We should sink Todd Akin. If he’s found mysteriously murdered, don’t look for my whereabouts,” Some crazy Democrat? No, Karl Rove.

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In Texas, Allen High School has just opened $60 million double-decked stadium that seats 18,000 and features a 38 ft HD video screen. Wonder if it’s part of the school’s grand plan to apply to join the SEC?

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Meanwhile,  not saying that #21 Stanford looked underwhelming in beating San Jose State 20-17.  But the chair looked better against Clint Eastwood.

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Clint Eastwood was supposed to talk for five minutes.   He talked for 11.  Maybe the man Clint really should have been endorsing was Joe Biden.

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The happiest sentence at BCS headquarters this week – “Boise State is 0-1.”

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That “old retread” California Governor Jerry Brown, 74, said he ran 3 miles in 29 minutes this week. And challenged Chris Christie to a footrace. Now there’s a political contest I’d pay to see.

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Michigan star RB Fitzgerald Toussaint, arrested for DUI in July with .12 BAL, has been suspended for just 1 game after pleading guilty to a lesser charge. The charge – “operating a vehicle while visually impaired.” “While visually impaired?” And we thought some steroid excuses were creative.

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Mitt Romney was in Louisiana today, where the New Orleans levees so far have held. Wonder if someone  warned Mitt it might not be best time or place to rail against what Government has built.

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Marco Rubio last night said that the GOP “chose more government instead of more freedom.” He apologized for the flub. But actually Rubio was being honest if you talk about marriage and women’s reproductive health….

 

From T.C.  On 84 year-old Vin Scully, the voice of the Los Angeles Dodgers for the past 63 years,  signing up for 2013. “That said, the Dodgers have listed him as day-to-day.”

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Despite just adding $262 million to their payroll, the Dodgers are 3-7 in their last ten games.  l Not sure who first said money can’t buy happiness.  But for right now Boston Red Sox and and SF Giants fans would beg to differ.

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