Posted tagged ‘marathon jokes’

Marathon man.

September 5, 2012

The Orioles are tied for first place with in ESPN’s words “the fading Yankees.” “Fading Yankees?” In a time of political discord could we come up with two words that get more bipartisan support?

This just in  – Bud Selig announces  plans to expand playoffs further this year. How far?   Just enough so that the Yankees are in the post-season.   (Even Bud has given up on the Red Sox.)

 

President Obama said he and the First Lady didn’t go out “schmoozing” much in the evening because they wanted to be home with their daughters. Although in a second term, BOTH girls hit the teenage years – Barack and Michelle may be out every night.

 

Toughest job of the week at the Democratic convention – Joe Biden, trying to edit his speech down under Paul Ryan’s 2 hour 50 minute marathon time.

 

Michelle Obama  painted a great portrait of Barack as a husband and father tonight, as Ann Romney did with Mitt. But really, most Americans would take Darth Vader if he could fix the economy and healthcare.

 

Paul Ryan now says he did not suggest President Obama was responsible for the GM plant closing before he took office. In Ryan’s defense, it’s easy to get tired and confused when you’re doing that Olympic marathon training.

 

Amazed the GOP last week didn’t try to recast Neil Armstrong’s first words stepping out of the Lunar Module on the moon as “I built this.”

 

 

Hank Williams Jr, declared again at a concert that “We’ve got a Muslim president.” Adding that Obama “hates cowboys, hates cowgirls, hates fishing, hates farming, loves gays, and we hate him!” Sigh. Proving again that people can change their religion, but being an a**hole is forever.

(Just wondering, what would Fox News do if some liberal gal singer accused Romney of being anti-Christian and said “we hate him?)

This season USC opened at #1 in college football polls. A ranking that lasted one week until Alabama crushed Michigan. SEC fans are leaning back and thinking “Well, glad that little affirmation action  charade is over.”-

 

“Honey Badger” Tyrann Mathieu, dismissed from the football team has nonetheless enrolled for classes at LSU this fall. Les Miles refuses to speculate on Matieu’s return to the field. I mean, this is all pretty shocking… a once and potentially future LSU football player going to classes?

Love this Washington Post comment passed on by a friend from “Wheat Farmer.” : “Paul Ryan ran a sub 3 hour marathon?? He must be Kenyan. Check his birth certificate.”

Regarding the Nationals’ decision to shut down Stephen Strasburg because they are looking to the future and what’s one year? Right, like when the Cubs lost the 1910 World Series, and their fans thought, well, heck, we won in 1908, we’ll be back….

Apparently many people have been retweeting the news today of Bob Denver’s death. Wonder how long it will take them to add that Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

Two hours and 121 minutes

September 3, 2012

 

 

If the Paul Ryan marathon lie turns out to make a difference in the election it may be the first major political story broken by “Runner’s World.”

The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has denied Kim Kardiashian’s request for a star., saying receipients need “to have a career in the business of acting for five years or more.” And Kim is a bit deficient in both the career and the acting department.

 

 

Quote of the week? “He and his wife have been wealthy for a number of years, and so I think that’s really the issue. What does he understand about the common man right now?” Michele Bachmann, talking about President Obama.. (Yes, she said it.)

 

Bobby Jindal and President Obama apparently had a perfectly civil visit today touring La Place, LA. Maybe that’s a reason Mitt Romney chose Paul Ryan as a running mate….he’s not a governor of a state that might need federal help from a natural disaster.

 

Governor Jindal does hope to get an immediate commitment of federal funds from President Obama,  so he can go back to railing about wasteful government spending as soon as possible.

Mitt Romney’s  Monday tweet.  “Labor Day is a chance to celebrate the strong American work ethic, but too many Americans are worrying when their next paycheck will come.”   No mention of labor unions?  I’m shocked, shocked.

 

 

 

 

From Gary M. ” Nittany Lions fans no longer shout, “We are, Penn State!” Now they’re shouting, “We are, State Penn!”

 

 

 

Open note to Washington Nationals from  SF Giants fans:    Stephen Strasburg is scheduled for only two more starts, against the Cubs and Mets. Why not save the guy for a tougher opponent….for example a week later against the Dodgers?

One reason the NCAA has been against a real football playoff system is that it would interfere with classes.   Right, as opposed to things like Monday night college football?

Britain’s Prince Andrew, 52, rappelled 239 metres down the side of London’s “The Shard,” this morning to raise money for charity. He went from the 87th to the 20th floor in 30 minutes. “Big deal,” said Paul Ryan, “I did it in 20.”