Archive for April 2018

No style points in baseball.

April 30, 2018

SF Giants looked a little hungover after four game series with Dodgers, blowing a 3-0 lead with 2 errors and lethargic play. Until the bottom of the 9th.  When they came up with a 3 run, 2-out rally.   TGFP –  Thank God For Padres.

 

But Corey Seager is out for the year. Wow. So Giants broke two Dodgers in one weekend? (Him and Puig.)

Despite FIFA’s ethics warning, Trump today again asked African nations to back the US World Cup bid.   “We will be watching very closely and any help they can give us in that bid, we would appreciate.”

At least he didn’t say “Vote for our bid because your countries are shitholes.”#smallmercies

Quite a photo op at the White House today.  Muhammadu Buhari, the Nigerian President and  Donald Trump, the wannabe Nigerian Prince.

 

Ersan Ilyasova said when the 76ers played the Heat “in Miami … the gym was half-empty.” “Half-empty” -or as the Marlins call that, an opening day crowd.

Waiting for Kanye West to say he should host next year’s WHCD.

If White House Correspondents Association wants a really polished speaker who can tell jokes in a classy manner maybe next year they should invite as their headliner Barack Obama

 

Just guessing there’s pretty high correlation between people who judge Michelle Wolf much more harshly than they would a man, & those who did the same with Hillary  Clinton.

Would it have been better if Michelle Wolf just called Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway “nasty women?”

Trump claiming his White House has “great Energy and unending Stamina…” That’s why he needs to spend every weekend golfing and/or at one of his resorts?

So reportedly John Kelly has repeatedly called Donald Trump “an idiot.” But let’s get to the important stuff – did he talk about Trump’s makeup?

John Kelly says he didn’t call Trump an idiot. Of course not. Everyone in the White House knows the correct term is “f*cking moron.”

From Urban Decay Customer Service After suggesting a “burnt lies” eyeliner with proceeds to go to a women’s charity. “That is a great idea! … this will be passed on to our upper management.” Hey, I’d buy it. #PerfectSmokeyEye

Advertisements

Reaching that low bar

April 30, 2018

Don’t look now after winning 3 of 4 from the Dodgers, SFGiants are back to .500. #BeatLA

 

And Bruce Bochy says Pablo Sandoval might pitch again. Who needs Ohtani?

Apparently, since the spread was from 6.5 to 5, Las Vegas sports books lost a lot of money when the Pacers hit a last-second three pointer to cut the Cavs’ victory margin from 7 to 4.   On the other hand, think how much Vegas would lose because millions of fans would lose interest with Lebron not playing into Round 2.

And now that we’re approaching the end of April, it’s only SIX WEEKS left until a possible game seven of the NBA finals.

NRA is banning guns at their “Leadership Forum” because VP Mike Pence is speaking. Uh, wait a minute, wouldn’t he be safer with thousands of “good guys with guns?”

Speaking as a woman who struggles to just get a nice straight line on occasions I try eyeliner, I’d take “perfect smokey eye” as a compliment. #WHCD

Trump refers to Michelle Wolf as “the filthy ‘comedian’.” Because he’s too old and tired to think of an insult based on her name?

 

#WHCA groveling at @realDonaldTrump’s tiny feet because presumably they worry about losing access. What’s he going to do, stop having press conferences…. ? Uh, never mind.

So it’s okay for Trump to say Gail Collins has the “face of a dog” and to say Mika Brzezinski was “bleeding badly from a facelift.” But not to joke about Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ eye makeup? #Snowflakes

Seriously, does anyone doubt Trump wrote this tweet in his mind BEFORE #WHCD? “Everyone is talking about the fact that the White House Correspondents Dinner was a very big, boring bust…the so-called comedian really “bombed.” #FakeOutrage

Maybe reason media is REALLY angry at @michelleisawolf is not attacks on Sarah Huckabee Sanders but this line – Trump “has helped you sell your papers and your books and your TV. You helped create this monster and now you are profiting from him.” #TheTruthHurts

Prodigal Panda

April 29, 2018

So how had the only SF Giants pitcher who would have a 1-2-3 inning in game one of a double header against LA Dodgers Saturday would be Pablo Sandoval?


At least the Giants scored enough that Bruce Bochy didn’t have to use Panda to close in the nightcap.

 

Carmelo Anthony on possibilities for next year with the OKC Thunder “Yeah, I’m not sacrificing no bench role.  That’s out of the question.”

Proving once again, maybe you can’t cure cancer. But you can sometimes trade it.

And then who had the SF Giants scoring 13 runs in two games  – more than they scored in the first week and only managing to win one?

Just wondering how many of these newly minted experts in NFL draft will remember where three-quarters of these players were drafted by opening week?

That moment when you read on Twitter that Paul Ryan nominated rich televangelist Joel Osteen, who wouldn’t open his 16,000 person church to hurricane Harvey victims as House Chaplain. And you have no idea if it’s satire.

Trying to imagine GOP reaction if Nancy Pelosi as Speaker had ever fired a House chaplain?

Tonight Trump told supporters in Michigan “I’d rather be with you” than in DC. Of course, on any weekend that there isn’t #WHCD he’d rather be at Mar-A-Lago or another Trump resort.

 

The guy who said “I really believe I’d run in there” to face an armed killer has flown to Michigan tonight to avoid facing reporters and comedians.

So how soon will Sephora start selling a smoky eye liner titled “Burnt lies?

In Nogales Arizona, officer Jesus Cordova was fatally shot, allegedly by carjacking suspect David Ernesto Murillo. Awful. But how deplorable have we become when Trump trolls mourn fallen Latino cop at same time they INSIST Latino killer must have been illegal?

 

It’s all relative.

April 28, 2018

FIFA called out Trump on ethics after he tweeted about not supporting countries who don’t support North American World Cup 2026 bid.
Give Donald Trump credit – who else could give FIFA the moral high road?

SF Giants beat Dodgers tonight aided by a run-scoring balk when Los Angeles reliever Baez fell off the mound.  Somewhere the ghost of Candlestick is claiming credit for a phantom wind.

Tonight’s NBA question “WWLF” Who Will Lebron Fire? #CavsVsPacers

Former LSU star RB Derrius Guice was chosen by the Redskins as the 59th pick, late in the 2nd round.  His draft stock had fallen significantly with rumors that there was a serious off-field issue in his past.  On a brighter note for Guice, where else but Washington, D.C, has a history of serious bad behavior become so meaningless?

Tomorrow begins round 4 of the NFL draft. And if you’re really paying attention, and aren’t related to a potential draftee… you just might need a life.

How much would we all have liked to see @realDonaldTrump try to brush dandruff off Angela Merkel?

 GOP Rep. Luke Messer will nominate Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize. What’s next? Nominating him for Husband of the Year?

House report indicates that they don’t believe Michael Flynn lied to FBI agents. Well, yes, because the only real definite confirmation of that allegation came from Flynn himself with his guilty plea.

 

One of those phrases we thought we’d never see “Infield hit for Buster Posey.” SFGiants

CDC now reports 98 people sick with E-Coli from eating romaine lettuce, including 10 with kidney failure.. But hey, let’s get rid of more pesky regulations

Trump on North Korea and South Korea “Let’s see what happens.” Translation, if they work things out I will take all the credit, and if not, it’s Hillary or Obama’s fault.

 

Rep. Patrick Meehan, under investigation for allegedly sexual harassing a female staffer & paying her off with tax dollars, has resigned. Wonder what Cabinet position Trump will nominate him for

Ch-ch-ch-choices…..

April 26, 2018

Has any team after day 1 of NFL Draft ever said “Well, guy we picked was our 4th or 5th choice, but the SOBs above us nabbed all the guys we really wanted”?

NFL Draft.  When many young men will have their dreams come true. Including those who breathed a sigh of relief “Well, at least I didn’t get drafted by the Cleveland Browns.”

NY Jets fans seem very happy with Sam Darnold And why not, because USC QBs have done so well lately in the NFL….. #sarcasm

San Jose Sharks could have found a better way to distract from #NFLdraft than to lose by a 7-0 football score.

NBA admits last night they missed goaltending on LeBron James at end of Cavs-Pacers game 5. Silly league. Don’t they know superstars NEVER goaltend? Or travel for that matter.

Despite joking about bomb at LAX, Packers WR Trevor Davis will not face charges after meeting with LA City Attorney. Did Davis claim he didn’t know any better since he’s a Cal grad? @StanfordFootball

Well so much for Donald Trump’s plan to nominate as Secretary of VA, Dr. Cliff Huxtable.

So will O.J. Simpson offer to help Bill Cosby find the real rapist.

So House Speaker Ryan fired House chaplain for criticizing tax cuts? I’m so old that I remember when Paul Ryan was a “compassionate conservative.”

So when’s the duet coming out with Kanye West and Shania Twain?

When Trump visits England in July he may skip London to avoid unpleasant protests. Right, the man who believes he would rush a shooter is afraid of unarmed Brits with placards. #CadetBoneSpurs

Rand Paul saying he opposes Gina Haspel’s nomination to lead the CIA over her use of torture. Time to open up the pool on when Paul will say he’s decided to support her. #invertebrate

Trump said maybe he didn’t get Melania “so much” for her birthday. “I got her a beautiful card.” Not perhaps the gift she really wanted – divorce papers?

Trump on  Fox and Friends – Cohen was one of his “many attorneys. He represents me like with this crazy Stormy Daniels deal.”
Can’t imagine why White House doesn’t want him to sit down with Mueller.

That moment when POTUS is even too crazy for  Fox and Friends….

Trump tweeted  he “Loved being on @foxandfriends this morning. Great show!”
Maybe not as much as Democrats liked it.

 

Congressman Steve King proposed legislation to keep CNN from paying airports to be on televisions in terminals. Well, not like GOP is about free markets or anything….

T’is the season

April 25, 2018

Spring in Canada, the time for falling Leafs.

 

Some say Cubs winning World Series hastened coming of the apocalypse. Well, at least MapleLeafs won’t do their part this year by winning Stanley Cup.

 

So is Reuben Foster’s ex claiming she fought with Manti T’eo’s girlfriend? #49ers

Who the heck knows truth in Reuben Foster case. But fact remains his accuser recanted BEFORE D.A. pressed charges. We all know she’s a liar; they think she wasn’t lying then, but she’s lying now.

The Commission on College Basketball has recommended potential lifetime bans for coaches who cheat. Over-under on how many coaches suddenly retire or move to NBA?

There are days when I really am sorry that #SFGiants play in afternoon so I can’t watch the game after work.  Wednesday was not one of those days.

Uh oh – quote from Oct 2017 NFL owners’ meeting “we have a president who will use (kneeling) as fodder to do his mission that I don’t feel is in the best interests of America.” From that commie-pinko Robert Kraft.

That moment when President of France gives a far better speech in English to Congress than any President of the US has made….

 

Ben Carson wants to increase rents for low-income Americans on housing assistance. Well, someone’s got to pay to help subsidize poor investors like Sean Hannity.

All these stories coming out about Ronny Jackson Jr. make me wonder how long until GOP will demand hearings- as to why he wasn’t fired by Obama.

239 pounds, 289 pounds. Hey, who among us hasn’t said 3 when we meant 8? I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. #RonnyJackson

That moment that your coffee boy lawyer takes the Fifth Amendment….

Dear Gawd, what cabinet post will Trump try to nominate Kanye West to now?

Amazing how many who think Americans shouldn’t boycott Kanye West’s music because of his political views are thrilled no NFL team will sign Colin Kaepernick.

Kanye West isn’t fit to hold James Shaw Jr’s jockstrap. That is all.

(James Shaw Jr. is the Waffle House hero.)

Don’t back down.

April 25, 2018

Not the ending they wanted or expected at the beginning of the season. But so proud to be a Spurs fan.  Gutsy way to go out.  And not that it matter, really but with all the best thoughts you can send without being a cliche to Popovich and his family.    See you next year @kawhileonard.

So looks like 76ers tanked their way into a pretty darn good team. Sorry, this isn’t a given  – to Cleveland Browns fans…

Okay, can SF Giants fans at least put the  “Trade Brandon Belt” movement on hold for a couple weeks?

 

After outrage, Nashville judge this morning revoked $2 million bail set for Waffle House shooting suspect. Excuse me, who the f*ck set $2 million bail for him in the first place? #WhitePrivilege

 

 And now, while I’m not personally acquainted with the bail bonds system, $2 million would have been $200,000 cash. Which while a LOT of money, if his parents didn’t have the savings they could have almost certainly have pledged their house as guarantee – Nashville is a booming market.

At least 10 dead in Toronto, it’s been over 24  hours, and still, not even #ThoughtsAndPrayers from @realDonaldTrump. Of course, killer appears to be white anti-woman loner. If he were Muslim or immigrant Trump would have sent at least a dozen tweets by now.

Ronny Jackson’s confirmation hearing has been delayed, reportedly over allegations including excessive drinking. Well, how much do you have to drink to say with a straight face that Trump weighs 239 pounds?

Millions of Americans want to say “un grand merci” to #Macron for distracting @realDonaldTrump for one day from doing more damage than he might otherwise have done.

 

Stories emerging of profanity-filled tirades during Clinton Presidential debate preparation in 2016 –  have to think if Hillary had actually dropped some F-bombs at Trump during the debates she might have won the election.

Not sure what’s worse – GOP senators marching in lockstep behind Trump, or the ones who call him out and then crawl into line when it’s time to vote.