Posted tagged ‘Mariano Rivera jokes’

What matters most?

September 28, 2013


The NFL has fined Cam Newton $10k for using unapproved Under Armour visor clips (with the logo blacked out) on his helmet. The league only found out when a article Tuesday showed pictures of the helmet with the clips. Good to see that with all these arrests and concussions the NFL still finds time for what’s really important.

Okay, I’m no Trojan fan, but… USC’s appeal for reduced football sanctions was denied, after the NCAA did reduce sanctions for Penn State And the NCAA’s statement “There is no comparison between USC and Penn State.” Uh, yeah, right, in one case pkayers got some free stuff and money, and in the other young boys were molested for years. No comparison at all.


It’s a shame Mariano Rivera’s last time pitching at Yankee Stadium was in the 9th inning. Had they done his farewell on the mound before they cut off alcohol in the 7th, maybe Mo could have turned water into beer on the way out?

Stay classy, folks. While Kaepernick and Gore were doing postgame TV interviews in St. Louis on TNF, 49ers fans behind the cameras were heard shouting “Seahawks suck! Seahawks suck!” Who do they think they are, Raiders fans?

Barack Obama said today he spoke by phone with Hassan Rouhani. These are strange times when the President of Iran may be more open to reasonable negotiation than the Speaker of the House.

Bill Clinton said he really doesn’t know if Hillary will run for President. Really? As if people might believe in that marriage that one spouse might not know everything the other is doing….


Groupon sent out a list of their most popular deals. One is 50% off on-line traffic school. Presumably for those who read about Groupon deals on their phones while driving?

Lebron James is going to give a pregame pep talk for Ohio State players before they play Wisconsin on Saturday. Wonder if the talk will include “And if you play really well, you can end up with an NFL team and move to Florida.”


Nicki Minaj told Ellen Degeneres she would “NEVER go back to American Idol.” “What a shame,” said absolutely no one.


Sens. Ted Cruz and Mike Lee spoke on the chamber floor again today against Obama. Zero GOP senators showed up. These two are so unwatchable they should be on NBC’s primetime schedule.


Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria fired his President of baseball operations Larry Beinfest after 12 years. Beinfest was reportedly muttering as he cleaned out his office “Free at last, free at last…”.


From T.C. As each week passes, we get closer to the day when Johnny Manziel signs his autograph for real money. Too bad it will be on a contract with the Jaguars or Browns.

Jacksonville Jaguars are offering free beer to fans who buy tickets. The way the team is playing, shouldn’t they be offering something harder?

Minnesota Vikings and Pittsburgh Steelers are in London preparing for their Sunday matchup. A lot of disadvantages for NFL players having to go overseas for a game. On the other hand, British police may not send Americans their arrest records.




Goodnight Moon, Exit Sandman

September 26, 2013

Mariano Rivera, 44, left the mound at Yankee Stadium tonight for the last time. “A promising career ended so young” said Jamie Moyer.

O.J. Simpson has apparently been accused of stealing cookies in prison. What’s his defense going to be… if my clothes still fit, you must acquit?

Apparently Cory Booker has been exchanging some flirty tweets (no pictures) with a Portland stripper. Oh, the indecision of it all, Some of his opponents would like to use this against the unmarried Newark mayor, but then it would go against their accusations of him being gay…..

CNN reports that pilots snoozed in the cockpit of an Airbus A330 flying to London last August, (Apparently a Virgin America plane.) Stand by for a “pilot coffee” surcharge.

From Bill Littlejohn:   “New part-owner Shaquille O’Neal apologized to Sacramento fans for calling their team ‘the Queens’ back in the day.He did, however, encourage them to bring back their cow bells to the arena when Kobe Bryant comes to town”

Sarah Palin is threatening to endorse Primary opponents for GOP Senators who don’t go along with Ted Cruz? Maybe Cruz should really endear himself to Palin and quit his Senate term halfway through.

Bud Selig took over as acting MLB commissioner on Sept. 9, 1992, saying repeatedly he wouldn’t stay on in the job. He has now announced he will retire in 2015. When presumably Bud will join Cher on a farewell tour.

Some try to compare Eli Manning to his brother Peyton. But the way the Giants started off this year, maybe the more apt comparison now is to his dad Archie with the Saints.

An apparent deal has been reached on a U.N. resolution to require Syria to dismantle its chemical weapons stockpiles. Hmm, time for the House to vote to overthrow Obamacare again.

Dodgers fans might want to skip this one  – Even in a lost season there are joys. Like Tim #Lincecum striking out Yasiel #Puig three times in 7 innings. #SFGiants

Wendy Davis is running for Governor of Texas. And somewhere Ann Richards and Molly Ivins are smiling.

Woo hoo! Faceback says they are finally going to have an “Edit” function for original posts. So dyslexics and people who just type too fast – untie!

Enter Sandman.

July 17, 2013

Mariano Rivera entered his final All-Star game Tuesday night to the familiar sounds sounds of  “Enter Sandman”  Which was particularly fitting tonight because approaching 11pm on the east coast after 7 1/2 dull innings, a lot of fans were already half asleep.


Three hits for the NL in the All Star game.  #SFGiants fans had to figure they were watching a repeat of their team’s last month.


I think I speak for all SF Giants fans in saying “Thank God we didn’t see a home plate collision between Prince Fielder and Buster Posey.”

Nike has pulled a number of T-shirts from sale after discovering they put a Carolina Panthers logo with the letters “NC” inside an outline of the state of South Carolina. Scary thing, I wonder how many Americans would have noticed.

Why should New York have all the fun with elections. Now we’ve got Liz Cheney running for Senate in Wyoming. Against an incumbent REPUBLICAN.

(my friend Jason suggests that Liz with her Tea Party style may cause Dick more grief than his Lesbian daughter did when Bush was out pushing a Marriage amendment.)

The head of the MLB Players Association says that it’s possible the players implicated with Biogenesis would not serve their penalties until 2014. Great, so instead of having a suspended player help determine home field advantage in the World Series, we could have one become the MVP of the World Series.


Some statements don’t even need a punchline: George Zimmerman’s brother on CNN, said that George “is going to be looking around his shoulder for the rest of his life,” looking out for people who “take the law into their own hands.”



Juror B37’s book deal apparently was killed before she wrote a word. Will her former literary agent claim self-defense?


God Bless America. In response to an email inquiry about train travel to England, Rail Europe reminds me “It is important to purchase your rail tickets prior to departing for Europe to avoid any language barrier, long lines at the station and sold out trains.” Right, especially that language barrier.

The California Supreme Court refused Monday to stop gay weddings in the state, a move that upset Proposition 8 supporters. But where are the cheers from conservatives who believe that government should stay out of our lives?

ESPN is already gearing up their British Open coverage. Is anyone but ‪#‎TigerWoods‬ playing?

From Jim Barach:   Chris Christie is set to appear on Michael J. Fox’s new show.  His camp says it has nothing to do with trying to get national exposure for a presidential run since the show will be aired on NBC.