Posted tagged ‘greg abbott jokes’

Ticket to ride?

May 18, 2016

Dear Gawd. This actual tweet from Texas Gov. Greg Abbott. “JFK wanted to send a man to the moon. Obama wants to send a man to the women’s restroom. We must get our country back on track. ”
Well, I can think of one man I’d love to send to the moon. And Abbott can take Ted Cruz with him.

 

Dikembe Mutombo tweeted out congratulations to the 76ers on winning the NBA draft lottery. Before the lottery happened.  Well this  should do wonders for the rumors that it’s all fixed.

Nancy Armour writing in USA Today says “Ban countries that dope from Olympics.” Well, that’s one way to get this upcoming mess of a Rio games cancelled.

Alabama star LT Cam Robinson along with DB Hootie Jones were arrested this a.m. Both were charged with marijuana possession but Robinson, a potential top-draft pick, also with “felony illegal possession of stolen firearms.” Yep, he’s NFL ready all right.

Maine got slammed with 4-7 inches of snow yesterday. And in Denver they’re going, aw, we can probably beat that. ‪#‎snowinJune‬?

A self-proclaimed mother of 12 has posted a video of herself walking through Target with a bible saying that the chain doesn’t protect mothers and children etc….. So I missed the videos where she was protesting the Duggars. And the Catholic church.

The IOC has opened disciplinary proceedings against 31 athletes from 12 countries just found to have been doping when their samples were retested from the 2008 Beijing games. The IOC President’s said it sends a “powerful message to the cheats.” Right. Always use the most cutting edge drugs

 

So some are outraged because OKC’s Steven Adams, who is from New Zealand, referred to Curry and Thompson as “quick little monkeys.” He also quickly apologized. But does anyone think Adams would deliberately say that as a slur, playing on a team that is mostly African American? (And Klay is actually biracial.) ‪#‎PCoverload‬

Donald Trump said he’d be willing to speak to Kim Jong Un. At the same time he’s insulting UK Prime Minister David Cameron. If this were a proposed movie script it would be rejected as too far fetched

 

Donald Trump also said his income last year was exceeded $557 million. And heck, aren’t all Americans on the honor system about their income with the IRS?

#‎TrumpKelly‬ interview tonight on Fox. Proving again that whatever divides us as Americans, people can be brought together by love of $$$$.

After game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals Canada is going, well we still have Justin Trudeau and your potential leaders are….  ‪#‎TORvsCLE‬

MLB bans ‪#‎Odor‬ 8 games, ‪#‎Bautista‬ for 1. So if you want to take someone out in baseball, use your legs not your hands.

 

Ben Simmons apparently is hoping to be drafted by the Lakers so that he can get a bigger shoe deal. Sounds like a perfect fit for Los Angeles with that team-oriented basketball they practiced so well at the end of Kobe’s career.

And never say never.  Even so guessing that Ben Simmons is NEVER going to be a Spur.