Posted tagged ‘bathroom jokes’

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When you gotta go…

February 24, 2017
All this panic over transgenders and bathrooms is completely lost on any woman who ever looked at the line and said “F*ck it, I’m using the men’s room.”
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Muhammad Ali Jr. apparently was profiled & detained at Ft. Lauderdale Airport. Clearly his father should have named him Frederick Douglass.

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There is no day that can’t be improved by hearing Jon Miller on the radio. #SpringTraining @SFGiants

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So while we’re trying to shorten MLB games by a few minutes, what about eliminating “God Bless America” during the 7th inning stretch EVERY single Sunday . Even God has to be thinking, “Enough already, play ball.”

 

 

A Chicago sports anchor was suspended for saying that President Trump is a “cartoon lunatic.” Did he offend cartoons or lunatics?

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J.C.Penney is closing 110 stores. Shocking. J.C. Penney still has stores?

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Orioles Team VP John Angelos says he doesn’t want Trump to throw out the first pitch unless the President apologizes first
“You don’t say those things about women, you don’t say those things about different ethnic groups, different national origins, people who are disabled, all of that — and if you do say them, you’re a big enough person to withdraw them and apologize,”
Standby for “the Orioles are losers” tweets in 3.2.1….

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Now Orioles made it clear Trump isn’t really welcome would someone like to ask Nats manager Dusty Baker what he thinks of the President?

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Trump is calling @CNN the “Clinton News Network.” I thought it was just losers who weren’t supposed to be able to get over an election.

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If Trump banning news outlets from press conferences can #AlecBaldwin do alternative press conferences as replacements?

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Trump says the media “are the enemy of the people because they have no sources. They just make them up when there are none.”
Right, then he excludes them from the press briefing so they HAVE no direct source.

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Trump – “I love the First Amendment. Nobody loves it better than me.” Is he trying to prove you always hurt the one you love?

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Can’t wait to see @SNL skits on Trump press gaggle. What, no new show again this week? Can we start an emergency petition?

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Trump whining at #CPAC that “Paris is no longer Paris.” France and rest of Europe – “The USA is no longer the USA.”

 

So much worry over bathrooms.  Becky Hammon has been in Spurs locker room since 2014; it doesn’t appear to have gone too badly.

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Good to see GOP legislators focusing on what’s really important: (UPI) — An Arkansas state senator introduced a bill calling for the renaming of Little Rock’s Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport.

 

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Ticket to ride?

May 18, 2016

Dear Gawd. This actual tweet from Texas Gov. Greg Abbott. “JFK wanted to send a man to the moon. Obama wants to send a man to the women’s restroom. We must get our country back on track. ”
Well, I can think of one man I’d love to send to the moon. And Abbott can take Ted Cruz with him.

 

Dikembe Mutombo tweeted out congratulations to the 76ers on winning the NBA draft lottery. Before the lottery happened.  Well this  should do wonders for the rumors that it’s all fixed.

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Nancy Armour writing in USA Today says “Ban countries that dope from Olympics.” Well, that’s one way to get this upcoming mess of a Rio games cancelled.

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Alabama star LT Cam Robinson along with DB Hootie Jones were arrested this a.m. Both were charged with marijuana possession but Robinson, a potential top-draft pick, also with “felony illegal possession of stolen firearms.” Yep, he’s NFL ready all right.

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Maine got slammed with 4-7 inches of snow yesterday. And in Denver they’re going, aw, we can probably beat that. ‪#‎snowinJune‬?

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A self-proclaimed mother of 12 has posted a video of herself walking through Target with a bible saying that the chain doesn’t protect mothers and children etc….. So I missed the videos where she was protesting the Duggars. And the Catholic church.

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The IOC has opened disciplinary proceedings against 31 athletes from 12 countries just found to have been doping when their samples were retested from the 2008 Beijing games. The IOC President’s said it sends a “powerful message to the cheats.” Right. Always use the most cutting edge drugs

 

So some are outraged because OKC’s Steven Adams, who is from New Zealand, referred to Curry and Thompson as “quick little monkeys.” He also quickly apologized. But does anyone think Adams would deliberately say that as a slur, playing on a team that is mostly African American? (And Klay is actually biracial.) ‪#‎PCoverload‬

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Donald Trump said he’d be willing to speak to Kim Jong Un. At the same time he’s insulting UK Prime Minister David Cameron. If this were a proposed movie script it would be rejected as too far fetched

 

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Donald Trump also said his income last year was exceeded $557 million. And heck, aren’t all Americans on the honor system about their income with the IRS?

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#‎TrumpKelly‬ interview tonight on Fox. Proving again that whatever divides us as Americans, people can be brought together by love of $$$$.

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After game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals Canada is going, well we still have Justin Trudeau and your potential leaders are….  ‪#‎TORvsCLE‬

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MLB bans ‪#‎Odor‬ 8 games, ‪#‎Bautista‬ for 1. So if you want to take someone out in baseball, use your legs not your hands.

 

Ben Simmons apparently is hoping to be drafted by the Lakers so that he can get a bigger shoe deal. Sounds like a perfect fit for Los Angeles with that team-oriented basketball they practiced so well at the end of Kobe’s career.

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And never say never.  Even so guessing that Ben Simmons is NEVER going to be a Spur.

 

Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, sports jokes, travel jokes, Uncategorized
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