Archive for February 2017

« Left Coast Sports Babe home page
Newer Entries »

Changing seasons.

February 6, 2017

Another reason baseball is the best sport. When the World Series game 7 was tied after regulation, both teams got a turn to bat.

 

SF 49ers fans should relax w/ Kyle Shanahan. Not like the 2017 team is going to have many 25 point leads to blow.

 

Clydesdales were originally bred in Scotland. Maybe that’s why there was no “aww” story this year. Budweiser was afraid they’d be accused of taking jobs away from real American horses.

–

Wonder how many craft-beer liberals are buying Budweiser & Bud Light for the first time ever this week? #boycottbudweiser

–

Tom Brady still can’t find his Super Bowl jersey. Anyone asked Putin?

 

Now the lieutenant governor of Texas has asked the Texas Rangers to join in Houston PD to help find Tom Brady’s missing Super Bowl jersey. How long until this gets blamed on a member of the liberal media?

–

If  Tom Brady really is GOAT can we give an assist to Pete Carroll and Kyle Shanahan’s 4th quarter Super Bowl play calling?

–

On a brighter note, some children in Africa this am can trade in their  Indians World Champions shirts for some shiny new Falcons ones.

–

–

MLB is proposing to raise lower part of strike zone to the top of the hitter’s knees, from its current “the hollow beneath the kneecap.” Pitchers are thinking fine, if they actually start calling strikes above the waist.

 

We learned one thing this weekend. Sean Spicer can take a joke a lot better than his boss.

–

George H.W. Bush got a standing ovation today before #SuperBowl. But heck, compared to the current White House occupant, George W. would get a standing ovation.

–

A Jacksonville woman is being sought by police for performing oral sex on a man and posting it to social media. The alleged act took place at the county courthouse. Back on your game, Florida.

 

Americans have to be wishing  Trump was half as  focused on Serious issues facing this country as he is on the NY Times.

–

In a 2004 book called “The Librarian,” by Larry Beinhart, author of “Wag the Dog,” there’s a right-wing conspiracy backing an ineffectual president. They try to create a terrorist act to keep him in power for a 2nd term. Scary book. Glad it’s only fiction….

–

Rep. Matt Gaetz from Ft. Walton Beach, introduced a bill to dissolve the EPA. I trust Gaetz also feels it would be a waste of money for the Feds to spend any money the next time Florida has any oil spills or other environmental disasters.

–

Obama – Christians did bad things “in the name of Christ.” GOP outrage. Trump-“You think our country’s so innocent.” GOP crickets #WTF?.

–

Trump terrorism speech “All over Europe it’s happening. It’s gotten to point where it’s not even being reported. Like #BowlingGreenMassacre?

–

Some of this stuff you just can’t make up. Melania Trump has a lawsuit against the UK Daily Mail for libel, and the paper has published a retraction of rumors that she worked as an escort. Okay, so far so good, and it’s understandable the First Lady would be upset.

BUT, her lawyer claims “plaintiff had the unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, as an extremely famous and well-known person … to launch a broad-based commercial brand in multiple product categories, each of which could have garnered multi-million dollar business relationships for a multi-year term during which plaintiff is one of the most photographed women in the world.”

Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

Slip sliding away…

February 5, 2017

So did that extra month of rest Roger Goodell gave Tom Brady this year make a difference down the stretch of #SB51?

–

In the 4th quarter Brady and the Patriots went through Atlanta faster than anyone not named Sherman.

–

At least @warriors fans can rest easy knowing their team will no longer win the ESPY for greatest postseason choke job in the last year.

–

But really, what’s with these collapses, the Warriors, the Indians, the Falcons.  At this point maybe we should all plan to bet on whoever goes down 3-0 in this year’s Stanley Cup Finals.

–

You’d think after watching Pete Carroll that the Falcons would have learned the lesson, when you’ve got the game won late, run the damn ball.

–

Wonder how long it took Matt Ryan to realize that a couple V for Victory formations and a field goal would have iced this game? #Superbowl

–

Avocados from Mexico commercial. Waiting for the Trump rebuttal.

–

But where were the Clydesdales tonight?  I blame Trump

–

Cant wait for Sean Spicer  to congratulate the Patriots tomorrow on the largest margin of victory in Super Bowl history.

–

Really? Trump’s latest tweet “Just cannot believe a judge would put our country in such peril. If something happens blame him and court system. People pouring in. Bad!”
So who do we blame for Quebec City, (yes, I know that’s Canada) Charleston, Aurora? And the other over 12,000 Americans killed last year by gun violence?

 

–

VP Pence said today White House considering removing sanctions against Russia. Congrats to all those who had Feb 5 in the pool.

–

As some attacked idea of liberals rooting for a team from a Red State, can we remember that #JimmyCarter is from Georgia. #Falcons #Superbowl

–

Just guessing we can add #MelissaMcCarthy to list of actors who won’t be invited to any Trump state dinners.

–

No tweets from the President over last night’s @SNL. Is @realDonaldTrump sick? Or did someone hide his phone?

–

 

–

Protest in Palm Beach last  night were nonviolent but apparently disturbing to Trump at his Florida gala tonight titled “Vienna to Versailles’
Not perhaps as disturbing as it might have been had the President read his history on Versailles.

–

From Marc Ragovin  “President Trump just congratulated the New Jersey Generals on winning their eighth Super Bowl.”

Categories: football jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

Twas the night before the Super Bowl

February 5, 2017

 

We interrupt tonight’s “Steve Kerr can drop the F bomb and get ejected story”:   Gregg Popovich now winningest coach w/ single franchise in NBA history-1128 wins. #GoSpursGo

–

Meanwhile, give the #Knicks credit, with the closing of Barnum and Bailey Ringling Bros, they fill a real void for fans of circuses.

–

Terrell Owens is not happy about the HOF “Unfortunately I DID NOT MAKE IT again this year. Thanks to ALL my fans & supporters. #FlawedProcess”
So maybe TO isn’t Hall of Fame material, but he sure sounds Presidential.

–

FOX is showing a special Bill O’Reilly Super Bowl pre-game interview with President Trump tomorrow. Presumably sponsored by Budweiser as a shameless promotion to sell more beer?

 

If protestors REALLY get paid maybe this is all a secret strategy to get them all rich enough to become Trump voters?

 

 

 

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”
“Ask not what your country can do for you..”
“That shining city on a hill.”
“You think our country’s so innocent?

Categories: Uncategorized

Comments: Be the first to comment

Security, national and otherwise.

February 4, 2017

 

New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton says he is going to add a “simple scrambler” to the locker room to keep players off social media before games. Wow, if this works can they put one in the Oval Office?

 

#SergioRomo to the Dodgers? Well, Los Angeles fans have plenty of advance notice to restock their liquor cabinets.

–

Congrats to Stanford women’s basketball coach  Tara Vandeveer on her 1,000th coaching win.  Wonder how much longer it would have taken her if Tara had switched over at some point to coach the men?

 

Once again, in a United States where it seems like there is no single trusted news source, I miss Walter Cronkite.

–

Spirit Airlines is going to cut the space for passengers’ free bags, from 2,688 to 2,016 cubic inches. Meaning the standard carry-on of 21″ x 14″ x 9″ is now too big, Anyone with a larger bag will have to pay $100 at the gate to board.
Two things. 1. How long until a major carrier follows suit. 2. How the heck do they expect average Americans to have a clue about what a cubic inch is?

–

So can someone explain to me why Baylor still has a football team?

–

Well, for a little  diversion – Drew Brees on “Fox & Friends” this morning before the Super Bowl. “I’m not ruling it out. It’s not the first thing I’m gonna do after I step away from the game, but I will certainly give it consideration.”

The “it”? Brees is talking about?  Running for office.

(I actually don’t know what party Brees would run as a candidate for…seriously. but hey, he seems decent, and not bat sh*t crazy.)

 

Billionaire Vincent Viola. who owns the Florida Panthers hockey team, has withdrawn as Trump’s choice for Secretary of the Army. The Military Times said he cited business interests that made the confirmation process nearly impossible.
Uh, not like it stopped any of Trump’s other choices?

–

Trump quickly tweeted “A new radical Islamic terrorist has just attacked in Louvre Museum in Paris. Tourists were locked down. France on edge again. GET SMART U.S.”
This because of one guy with a knife, who injured a soldier, but no fatalities. Not good to be sure. But where are all the tweets about the fatal terror attack in Quebec City?

–

How long until @realDonaldTrump calls for a Congressional Investigation into Hillary Clinton’s role in not preventing #BowlingGreenMassacre

–

So when is Trump going to issue a travel advisory for #BowlingGreen?

–

Kellyanne Conway attacked ChelseaClinton for Chelsea’s mocking tweet about #BowlingGreen. “It’s called class, grace, deep breath.” Like her boss?

–

Give @KellyannePolls a break, maybe she meant “Green Bowl” massacre. How many avocados will give their lives for guacamole this #Superbowl ?

–

Why America is already great: Google https://t.co/iE9jyuYAE8 It links to a donation page for the ACLU.

 

Hashtag of the night  –  #PaulRyanin4Words.  Whatever Donald Trump wants.

 

 

 

From my Canadian friend T.C.  “Trump called NFL Commish Goodell ‘Weak, Stupid, Dopey & unfit to be a leader’.  No punchline needed here.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized

Comments: 3 Comments

Heads up?

February 3, 2017

post

(thanks to my friend Joe C. for this one.)

–

Looking for another reason to hate the Yankees? Hal Steinbrenner on Aroldis Chapman, and his 2016 suspension for violating MLB’s domestic violence policy: “Quite frankly, it was manageable the minute he got here last year. He was great. Look, he admitted he messed up. He paid the penalty. Sooner or later, we forget, right? ”

–

Really missing when stupid questions during #SuperBowl media days were the craziest things said during the first week in February.

–

Charles Barkley said before tonight’s game Clippers would  beat Warriors. “guaranteed.”  Poor Sir Charles. So much craziness in the world that he has to up the ante to get noticed.

–

Got to love it as a Stanford grad, the #UCBerkleyRiot trending hashing is misspelled. It’s “Berkeley.”

–

This just in – Trump fires #Punxsutawneyphil , replaces him with a relative of that furry thing that lives on his head.

–

So who had Australia in the “which country will President Trump break off relations with first?” pool?

–

Trump uses #Nationalprayerbreakfast as excuse to taunt Arnold over ratings. Can’t wait to see President in action at state funerals.

–

Schwarzenegger’s response “”Hey Donald, I have a great idea. Why don’t we switch jobs? You take over TV because you’re such an expert on ratings and I take over your job and then people can finally sleep comfortably again.”
Hmm, is Arnold bidding to be the Trump Ex-Terminator?

 

Good to see  John  McCain & Lindsey    Graham speaking their minds on Trump.. Now what about a few actual opposing votes?

–

#Uber CEO Travis Kalanick is resigning from Trump’s advisory council. “Uber is for losers” tweet coming in 3.2.1……

–

New UN Ambassador Nikki Haley: “The dire situation in eastern Ukraine is one that demands clear and strong condemnation of Russian actions…”
So while we’re waiting for March Madness can we start brackets or something on who Trump fires next?

So Trump wants women working at White House to #DressLikeAWoman – Does this mean mandatory pussy hats?

–

Not even Fox News is covering the Bowling Green Massacre. Clearly the corruption of the media is spreading. #sarcasm

–

“”We want this nominee to be treated the same way that President Clinton and President Obama’s nominees were treated.” –@SenJohnThune #SCOTUS
And his point is?
–
Not all the UC Berkeley protestors last night were violent. As a liberal I have no problem with arresting any of those who were, and who damaged property. In fact, I hope police do find them….. just guessing most of them weren’t students, the violent ones.
And it also wouldn’t shock me if some of the worst actually were not “leftists,” but people who wanted to make the left look bad.

–

A couple friends have commented that that they are tired of all the political posts on FB etc. . And I get it, although there is just so much comedy-satire material. But the problem is, when you decide, okay, enough, I’m going to post about something else….then it’s another crazy EO, or a leak, or a insult Tweet, or letting people with mental illnesses severe enough to receive disability payments buy guns…..

Maybe that’s the idea, we all get so tired of it we don’t care. and this administration can do whatever the hell they want.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

The most amazing?

February 2, 2017

“Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who has done and amazing job & is being recognized more & more.  I notice. ” Okay, does Trump think he knows what team Douglass  plays for?

 

Anyone else remember halcyon days when you could out go out for an evening and not worry about what @POTUS might have done during dinner?

–

A young woman complains she was kicked off a Spirit Airlines flight from New Orleans to Fort Lauderdale because her top was too low cut and exposed too much of her chest. Well, makes sense, on Spirit, passengers have to pay fees to see cleavage.

–

New 49ers GM John Lynch said one of the reasons he signed with the team is that they passed his test of keeping their interview meetings secret. Of course, SF also gave him many million other guaranteed rea$on$..

–

Anyone else think that maybe @49ers discussions with John Lynch didn’t leak not because SF49ers were so secure as because nobody cared?

–

There are rumors Melania Trump & Barron may never move into the White House. So the First Lady might really be smart as well as pretty.

–

Trump said today “I don’t watch CNN.” Right, like he doesn’t watch SNL.

 

–

How long until Trump demands an Orange History Month? #BlackHistoryMonth

–

Trump if the Dems filibuster Gorsuch “If we end up with that gridlock I would say, ‘If you can, Mitch, go nuclear. Because that would would be an absolute shame if a man of this quality was put up to that neglect.”
As in a man of the quality of  Merrick Garland?

–

Trump today boarded Marine One helicopter for an unannounced trip that was “off-the-record.” First thought, was -he heading to his dacha?

(yeah, as it turned out Trump was heading to a ceremony for the Navy Seal who died in the botched raid. But hey, had he told the media up front that would have resulted in a lot fewer headlines.

–

#LegoBatman movie is opening Feb 10. Lego & Batman together? In a normal universe that might be the most bizarre story of the week.

–

Stanford alums are shocked by this headline: “Elite California school forced to cancel speech by right-wing firebrand Milo Yiannopoulos as students set off fireworks at cops, tear down barricades and set the campus ablaze in protest.” Cal is an “elite California school?” #sarcasm

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized

Comments: Be the first to comment

Back in black, and silver?

February 2, 2017

Hmm, Sheldon Adelson has backed out of the Las Vegas Raiders stadium deal, now Goldman Sachs is reportedly mulling over their commitment. Pass the popcorn, and keep firing up those tailgate grills in Oakland..

 

 

NY Giants WR Victor Cruz on the team’s boat party before their loss to the Packers. “It definitely wasn’t worth it.” Does he mean the trip or posting pictures

–

31 lbs of cocaine, worth over $400,000, discovered on American Airlines plane in Tulsa. Was the forecast for snow?

 

 

Apparently Chipotle, which imports most of its avocados, limes and tomatoes from Mexico, is the restaurant chain most at risk from Trump’s potential new tariffs. So maybe this is all just part of a plan for Trump Grill REALLY to have the best taco bowls?

–

So when is Sally Yates going to run for office?

–

And give Trump credit.  Who else could make a “Daily Show” celebrity out of the President of the ACLU?

–

in June a federal judge ruled that a married same-sex female couple can both be listed on their children’s birth certificates. Now the state of Indiana is appealing. Seven words this time – “Pro life and pro family my ass.

–

War sucks, I get it. But if this botched Yemen raid resulting in the death of a Ryan Owens, a Navy Seal, and Nawar al-Awlaki, an 8-year old girl who was an American citizen, happened on Hillary’s watch GOP would have already launched Congressional investigations.

–

#AlternateJobsForClowns trending on day of Trump cabinet appointee confirmation hearings. Sure it’s just a coincidence

.

So wonder how ratings were for tonight’s 8pm Special Edition of Presidential Apprentice?

–

Trump announced his #SCOTUS pick at 8pm ET & 2 finalists were called to DC. Anyone got pictures of their fantasy suite?

But really disappointed, shouldn’t Trump have given Gorsuch a rose?

–

Wow, privileged white male w/ private school & IVY league education, looks like he could play judge on TV. “I’m shocked” said no one #scotus

–

Betsy DeVos apparently plagiarized at least two quotes in her written questionnaire for the Senate nomination committee. Looking at Monica Crowley have to think this might derail her. Because hey, in this administration past racism, sexism, questionable business dealings….no problem, but plagiarism is serious.
(unless you can blame it on a speechwriter.)

Categories: Uncategorized

Comments: Be the first to comment

Newer Entries »