Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Shake, rattle and roll

May 14, 2018

 

Okay, it WAS a little earthquake. Not just the shock of  SF Giants putting 3 runs on the board in first inning?

Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Jameson Taillon says he’s open to urinating on his middle finger to heal a cut on it. Well, this should cut down on excessive autograph requests.

Congrats to all those who had “less than 2 minutes” for how long it would take Draymond Green to pick up his first technical in #Rockets #Warriors series.

Seattle City Council just approved tax on large businesses such as Amazon and Starbucks to fight homelessness. Waiting for Trump tweet of Congratulations since he wanted Amazon to pay more tax…..

Really miss days when Meghan Markel’s father possibly not attending his own daughter’s royal wedding would have been Monday’s most outrageous story.

After Supreme Court decision NFL called for Congress to “enact a core regulatory framework for legalized sports betting” to protect “the integrity of our game.”
Because when you think of integrity you think of… Congress? #WTF

United Airlines is offering baggage delivery for a fee to passengers and promising bags within 4-6 hours after landing. Wonder if the airline is making this cost-effective by putting bags in the same vans delivering delayed luggage?

Southwest had to cancel about 60 flights from Denver today after hail damaged planes on the GROUND at Denver International Airport last night.
But no, we’re not living in a time of climate change.

Supreme Court ruled a federal ban on sports betting is unconstitutional. Time to add Pete Rose to Trump’s sports council?

 

This morning before  Supreme Court rules federal ban on sports gambling is unconstitutional, had already gotten a spam email about how to bet online on the Preakness….

Can we win on #NetNeutrality by warning American men the alternative may include no more free porn? This includes you, @SenTedCruz

 

Jared Kushner blamed Palestinian protesters for “provoking problems” today. So assume he would have said students killed at Kent State asked for it too?

If @realDonaldTrump feels so strongly that ZTE is a great company then why doesn’t he start using one of their cellphones?

Maybe Trump didn’t go with Melania to hospital for her surgery just because he wanted to watch Ivanka open Jerusalem US Embassy?

Trump says leakers are “traitors and cowards.” But the aide who joked about McCain’s death? She’s probably been promoted.

White House reported Trump called Waffle House hero, James Shaw, Jr, TODAY, 22 days after shooting, and commended him for his “heroic actions and quick thinking.”
But no tweets to that effect. Was @realDonaldTrump afraid of offending his base?

Red hot machine

May 13, 2018

Only thing better than the Reds sweeping the Dodgers would have been if Cincinnati & Los Angeles played 20 plus innings before Reds flew to SF tonight before series with SFGiants.

Although with their first win in a week, and a 5-0 shutout, at this point  SFGiants better keep wearing those pink batting gloves!

Nice of the #Cavs to make sure no one’s #MothersDay dinner or brunch had anyone too distracted by a close game.

So number one question after Game 1 of Eastern Conference finals.  WWJF.  “Who will James fire?”

Almost think golf should have Tiger Woods play every Sunday in a group with the leaders.   Just to have Americans pay attention to whoever is actually winning.

 

Two million eggs recalled from an Indiana-based business’s North Carolina farm. So far at least 35 people sick with salmonella. But hey, who needs to worry about chickens and pesky regulations.

WSJ reports that Uber turned down repeated attempts from Michael Cohen to get hired as a consultant with access to Trump.  Apparently they felt Cohen, who owns over 30 taxi medallions,  had conflicts of interest,  How slimy do you have to be to give Uber the moral high ground.

 

Amazing how many people who have issues with #PlannedParenthood seem to ignore the “Planned” aspect of it. Many of the same people ignore the “well-regulated” before militia.

White House aide reportedly promised Meghan McCain a public apology for her “joke,” but it hasn’t happened yet.
Uh, @kellysadler45, let me help you out. It’s REALLY not hard to reach millions on Twitter.- “I f*cked up, I was sorry and insensitive. ” Period.

 

Last night’s Paris knife attacker was born in Russia’s republic of Chechnya. Waiting for Trump to add Russia to the travel ban?

Good to know Donald Trump took time from his golf weekend to focus on jobs. In China? And hey, ZTE was only accused of violating sanctions with North Korea AND using their phones to spy on Americans. #WTF?

 

Hope all #MAGA folks are thrilled to see Trump with a Mothers Day focus on jobs. For ZTE, In China. For Chinese workers.

The second time’s the hardest?

May 12, 2018

Nashville Predators’ forward Mike Fisher, who came out of retirement in Febuary, says he’s retiring again now. “Good start” – responded Brett Favre.

 

Hockey players tend to be among most liberal pro athletes.  So if  Winnipeg Jets end up winning Stanley Cup, Trump will probably be relieved not to worry about inviting the Canadians to White House.

You can’t lose six baseball games in a row without a certain amount of creativity.   Giving up the winning run with a HBP is creative.  In the A’s dugout,  Santiago Casilla may be smiling.

Meanwhile the A’s lost a game  to the Yankees in extra innings, after they had appeared, even on replay to have scored the winning run in regulation.  But the play was overturned by replay officials…. in New York.  I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

 

 

While Trump his latest prescription drug plans are great for consumers, all you need to know is that drug stocks rose afterwards. Bigly.

Trump version of Louis XIV. “Le marais est moi.”

(For those who don’t know French or have Google translate, “marais” means “swamp.”)

Amy Suskind reports that FDA employees were informed in an email that TV’s in the building  now must be tuned, not to CNN but Fox News.  I liked “1984” better when it was satire.

Do we really expect that either AT&T OR Novartis would say “Yeah, that money we paid Michael Cohen was a really good investment and worth every penny?”

Trump wants to force drug companies to charge higher prices in other countries, saying that with extra revenue they can lower prices in U.S.
Right, like companies have done that with their tax cuts.

 

If someone in White House actually were to leak a signed contract between Putin and Trump pledging Russian support to make sure Hillary lost the 2016 election, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Fox would demand prison for the leaker.

High hopes?

May 11, 2018

Next time you think your boss has overly high expectations…. Dwane Casey of the Toronto Raptors. Named NBA Coach of the Year by fellow coaches 2 days ago. Fired today.

So if Raptors hadn’t drawn Lebron James  in the 2nd round would Dwane Casey  still have a job?

 

Maybe Becky Hammon isn’t ready to coach the Bucks yet. But in a couple years she should be ready to coach the Spurs.

AT&T and Novartis both say the payments to Michael Cohen were “a mistake.” Nope, the payments were deliberate decisions.   Getting caught was a mistake.

Hate to say it, as I root for the Spurs and SF Giants.  But let’s see, Cowboys at AT&T Stadium,   SF Giants at AT&T Park, and Spurs yes, at AT&T Arena.  Maybe mean bitch karma this year not approving of those Cohen payments.

 

Saw “Save Lucifer” trending and wondering if it’s GOP trying to keep John Kelly from getting fired.

I’m so old I remember when John Kelly was supposed to be the “adult in the room” at the White House.

Joe Biden said Kelly Sadler’s comment about John McCain shows that “decency” has “hit rock bottom with this administration. ”
Rock bottom? Uh, they’re already underground and still digging

 

We all know that if  Kelly  Sadler said Donald  Trump’s chances for re-election were “dying anyway” that she’d have been fired hours ago.

White House refused to comment on Kelly Sadlers’ remark about John McCain’s death. But Trump had no problem labeling Michelle Wolf “filthy” for her “burnt facts” joke.

That moment when a descendant of poor Italian and Irish immigrants attacks prospective immigrants for not having education or skills. #JohnKelly

Since Trump will spare the pharmaceutical industry and not allow Medicare to negotiate drug prices, guessing that Novartis & others will be happy to make more “mistakes” in future.

Tough, eh?

May 11, 2018

 

It’s been a rough few weeks for Toronto with Leafs, then Raptors, then Blue Jays getting no-hit. But at least a Canadian team is in the @NHL Eastern Conference Finals. Even if it’s Winnipeg. #Smallmercies

Matt Harvey going to start for Reds against Dodgers Friday. In Los Angeles. Will the team outfit him with an ankle monitor Thursday night?

 

 

Scary thing for SF Giants fans is that Harvey is now slated to face Giants on Wednesday afternoon. Where the way things are going these days he’ll get at least 15 strikeouts.

Anyone but me get a restaurant or other business flyer under your windshield wiper, which from a distance looks like a parking ticket, and make a decision – NEVER patronize that business?

Preet Bharara is apparently considering a run for NY attorney general. And mean bitch Karma is out looking for popcorn.

Oliver North on the Parkland teen survivors “They’re not activists — this is civil terrorism.” But all those mass shooters, they’re just mentally ill. #WTF?

Trump is being so nice about North Korea you wonder if they’ve given him a contract to build a Trump hotel there?

Two questions of the day. Who else paid Michael Cohen? And who else did Michael Cohen pay off?

So the Stable Genius not only had no idea who his lawyer was paying off, he had no idea who his lawyer was getting millions from?

 

It’s really really hard to win the title “Most Reprehensible” in @realDonaldTrump administration. But @kellysadler45 has it for today.

 

Trump talked casually at his #Elkhart rally about getting an extension for the presidency” beyond 8 years. And lo and behold, Fox suddenly decided to cover the volcano in Hawaii…. Guess he wasn’t supposed to leak that?

This should deflate his ego?

May 10, 2018

After receiving a text from Tom Brady  Ichiro reportedly responded “Who the f*** is Tom Brady?”

Meaning that outside of Boston area, Ichiro just became a lot of NFL fans’ all time favorite baseball player.

Question after watching tonight’s Phillies-Giants blowout.  If you shouldn’t bunt when you are down 10 runs, why should you be able to shift when you are up 10 runs?

SF Giants game tomorrow is broadcast not on TV on Facebook. The way Giants are playing in Philly would be better if there were a Bay Area blackout.

So Mark Ingram claims through his agents that he tested positive for a substance that was “permissible with the proper use exemption with the NFL.”

Thinking, why didn’t he hire agents who could get him the ‘proper use exemption with the NFL”?

Wait a minute, all three Americans freed by North Korea were originally immigrants to the US. Does that mean Trump will soon be sending them back?

Today Sarah Huckabee Sanders said Trump is ‘committed to a free press.” Let me correct her slip of the tongue. She meant “Trump wants the free press committed.”

So does anyone really think #ATT and #Novartis were the only companies who paid Cohen?

A scary thought, people who only watch Fox News probably have no idea who @MichaelAvenatti is.

Trump already doesn’t have press conferences & only takes questions from friendly reporters. Now “Why do we work so hard in working with the media when it is corrupt? Take away credentials?”
I liked “1984” better when it was satire.

How long until Trump decides to announce he is renaming the US “Trump Oceania.”

Gina Haspel says she doesn’t think President Trump would ask her for a pledge of loyalty. Forget the torture issue. If she really believes that Haspel is too STUPID to be CIA director.

Almost preseason ..

May 8, 2018

For CFL (Canadian football league) and Grey Cup champion Toronto Argonauts.    Their first game, June 1.

Which will be very welcome up north, because…

Raptors getting steamrolled and swept by Cavs had to be most embarrassing story for Toronto sports teams in May.    Raptors against James Paxton  – “Hold our (Molson’s) beer.”

Something about players named James in Toronto….. #Lebron #Paxton

Baseball players being so superstitious, how long until other pitchers try to get an eagle to land on them too?

 

https://www.mlb.com/video/eagle-lands-on-paxton/c-1907594283

 

So after last two nights in Philly can we put out an all-points bulletin for missing SF Giants bats?

Saints’ Mark Ingram suspended 4 games for PEDs. Okay, here’s the poll question of the day. Will he claim “mistake in taking medication,” or “tainted supplement

Proving that mean bitch karma is a sports fan: Matt Harvey refuses to go to a AAA team. And ends up with the 8-27 Reds.

 

Trump on ending the Iran deal “When I make promises I keep them.’ Except for example, “forsaking all others…

Trump says Iran was the “dumbest deal ever.”   Not counting your lawyer paying significant money to a porn star you never had an affair with, not to talk about that non-existent affair…?

Since Melania successfully coopied #BeBest how long until Donald  Trump resurrects same Iran deal Obama negotiated, slaps the Trump name on it, and demands Nobel Peace Prize?

All this talk that pulling out of Iran deal might cause war, or at the least some major anti-USA terrorist act – wouldn’t that be exactly what Trump wants to help his poll numbers? #USAUSAUSA

Rudy Giuliani said StormyDaniels “debased herself” by appearing on “SNL” So what was Rudy doing hosting the show in 1997?

4.6 Earthquake near Los Angeles. No harm done. But Californians should realize if the big one hits, Trump’s response will no doubt make his response to Puerto Rico look great by comparison.

 

So was today the day that Michael Avenatti dropped a house on the first witch?

 

So Trump tears up Iran Deal, insulting France AND Germany. Russians may have deleted voters from US rolls, $500k payoff to Michael Cohen from Russian oligarch to Stormy Daniels payoff account, more money to Cohen from AT&T etc… . And it’s only Tuesday.

Trump says pulling out of Iran deal sends message “The United States no longer makes empty threats.” Nope, it sends message that United States cannot be trusted on a deal.”

Swept, eh?

May 8, 2018

Raptors at least have done their part to keep Toronto sports fans from spending their whole summer off-season bitching about the Maple Leafs.

Johnny Cueto out 6-8 weeks. SF Giants have been coping well without them. But if only they could somehow had another ace pitcher to the staff in a few weeks…….

Although damn, Giants had three proven starters this year,  Cueto, Madbum and Samardzija.  Looks like the wrong one stayed mostly healthy.

 

Former Duke basketball star Wendell Carter’s mom compared NCAA basketball to slavery. Now, I’m proud to be liberal and dislike NCAA as much as anyone, but can we be little more selective throwing around terms like slavery? College IS a choice.

Almost 2am Mondaywhen Cardinals beat Cubs with 14th inning comeback walk-off home run. Wonder how many thousands of people will say they were among the hundreds of fans still left at Busch Stadium.

So it’s day 9, should we be putting Dennis Miller’s Michelle Wolf jokes on a milk-carton?

 

Melania would have used Michelle Obama’s slogan “Let’s Move.” Until she found out it didn’t mean “Let’s Move Out of the White House.” #BeBest

Actually “As” are best. “Bs” are second best. Just saying. #BeBest

LA judge rules coffee sold in California must have cancer warnings. What about warnings for possible homicides if many Americans don’t get their morning caffeine fix?

Would GOP heads explode if when children are separated from their parents at the border, they got foster care offers from LGBT couples?

Those who want to save Iran nuclear agreement are missing out on simplest solution – offer as substitute exact same deal but with Trump’s name on it. Mission accomplished.

If someone says no difference between Democrats and Republicans there is at least this – Democrats likely to resign when faced with allegations of sexual abuse. GOP act like it’s badge of honor.

 

So what is Eliot Spitzer doing? Heck,  paying prostitutes now makes you Presidential even.

 

Mean bitch karma really wants to see Preet Bharara appointed to serve out Eric Schneiderman’s term.

Trump proposes $15 billion in spending cuts. — $7 billion — would come from the Children’s Health Insurance Program. Once again, four words “Pro Life My Ass.”

Winning colors?

May 6, 2018

A woman at a Texas racetrack made a  $18 “Pick 5” bet on a series of Kentucky Derby Day races, and won $1.2 million. Let me guess, she picked the horses for their colors?

Who says I never say anything nice about LA Dodgers. Want to seriously thank them on behalf of SF Giants  fans for letting reliever Tony Watson go.

 

Thinking not even Pete Rose would have bet on an expansion NHL team reaching the Western Conference Finals. #GoldenKnights

Las Vegas Golden Knights and Tampa Bay Lightning should both do well with playoff ticket sales.   As we get into mid May guessing people in both cities will pay well for a chance to spend 2 hours inside out of 90 plus degree weather.

Understand why MLB stops beer sales after the 7th inning.  But when games head into 14th inning, shouldn’t the league allow stadiums to sell just one more?  Or at least an Irish coffee?

Add A-Rod to the list of athletes who is far more engaging in the broadcast booth than he ever was on the field. #SundayNightBaseball#MondayMorningBaseball.

Nikki Haley says Mueller probe should not be shut down. Is she auditioning to be Kasich’s running mate in 2020?

Just a reminder to the media. “Self-contradictory,” “questionable” “backtracking”. “misstatements…” It’s shorter and more accurate to use the word “lies.”

 

Just wondering, when child of a Trump supporter lies to his or her parents, do they give him a pass too? Especially if child says it was “necessary.”

Trump will never admit he is wrong. Bet the man doesn’t even say ‘Excuse me” when he sneezes.”

Guiliani, asked if Cohen paid more women for Trump to keep them quiet – “I have no knowledge of that, but I would think if it was necessary, yes.”
Time to start a pool on how MANY women he paid?

The real question now – will Rudy Giuliani break @Scaramucci’s 10-day record?

So how long until Stormy Daniels runs for office? She’s smart, articulate, and unlike many politicians at least provides value when she screws people.

Gone in 124 seconds.

May 5, 2018

Happy Kentucky Derby Day! When we get to marvel at the accomplishments of three-year olds. Instead of leaders who act like three-year olds.

Hell of a Kentucky Derby for Justify.  And at least we didn’t have to hear about his exit velocity.

Most exciting two minutes:  Kentucky Derby Least exciting two minutes – Stormy Daniels  report on sex with Trump.

Kentucky Derby. Fastest two minutes in sports. Except for how long Cleveland Browns fans have hope each season.

Love how on Kentucky Derby day millions of Americans suddenly become one-day experts on horse racing. Like triple salchows for a week at the Olympics.

 –
Brief non-joke detour.  Curiously enough, for all that it’s called the fastest two minutes in sports, only two horse have run the race under 2 minutes. And the record, 1.59 and 2/5 seconds was 45 years old today….  May 5, 1973.  Secretariat.   How many other speed records in ANYTHING are 45 years old?
All the attention paid to Tiger Woods enough though he’s nine shots off the pace and barely made the cut…..  After he retires will ESPN etc cover golf tournaments by showing Tiger’s greatest shots interspersed with live action?
 –
Bumgarner’s out, Melancon’s out., Williamson’s out, Cueto’s out, Panik’s out, If the 2018 SF Giants lose few more players to injury they might be able to win this year’s World Series.
Happy Cinco De Mayo. A day when Trump supporters can get really drunk on margaritas and complain about immigrants.
Well, it was a child who said the Emperor had no clothes. Parkland survivor Cameron Kasky on Trump: “He’s a professional liar who will say anything to appease whatever crowd he’s at…”

 

McCain doesn’t want Trump at his funeral. Waiting for Trump to say “I like people who don’t get cancer.”

Apparently John McCain does not want Donald Trump at his funeral. Hope he is kind enough to make sure Melania gets invited. Barbara Bush’s funeral looked like best time @FLOTUS has had all year.

Trump says if he doesn’t get his wall “we may have to close up our country.” But not until Melania’s parents get citizenship.

Give Trump credit – at least he’s MSNLGA – Made SNL Great Again.

This time sports is the best for last.

May 4, 2018

Seriously, read down. It’s a good cause. Happy weekend all.

 

Trump at NRA convention jokes about John Kerry’s breaking his leg in 2015 bicycling accident. Of course Cadet Bone Spurs would have won Tour de France if not for his disability.

Trump doesn’t have time to talk to Mueller, but he has time to fly to Dallas for an NRA convention.

 

Waiting for someone at NRA convention in Dallas to say “If only JFK had been armed.”

Mitt Romney says his favorite meat is “hot dog.” Just how out of touch is this man? He actually thinks hot dogs contain meat.

Carolina Panthers say defensive backs coach Curtis Fuller has left over complaints of workplace misconduct. Is he going to Washington to oversee the Redskins’ cheerleaders?

If Obama were recommending books by authors who were friends of his GOP would be screaming emoluments and calling for impeachment.

May 4 is anniversary of deaths of William Schroeder, Allison Krause, Jeffrey Miller & Sandra Lee Scheuer. Wonder if some of today’s young people protesting Trump policies were shot at a march, would some GOP voters say they deserved it? AS THEY DID in 1970 #KentStateMassacre

(Those students would have only been in their 60s now.  Who knows, they might have become apathetic non-voters. Or maybe Allison could have grown up to be our first women President?)

Big Island of Hawaii, already dealing with volcano eruption, now hit with 5.4 and 6.9 magnitude earthquakes. Waiting for @realDonaldTrump to say, sorry, but they better not expect any foreign aid.

Dodgers no-hit Padres in Mexico. Are we sure that under an assumed name Tim Lincecum wasn’t somehow involved?

Maybe the Dark Knight would considering trying to be a White Knight – or an Orange Knight for SF Giants pitching staff?   #MattHarvey

 

I would really hate for @BeckyHammon to leave @Spurs. But for a head-coaching job….. okay , I could figure out how to say “Go Bucks Go.”

On a rare serious note. Gregg Popovich is a class act.  And he would never even go onto social media for anything.  But he knew he married above him.   And this is a nice way to pay respects for a good cause. (Yes, I donated myself before posting this.)

https://www.sacurrent.com/the-daily/archives/2018/04/30/heres-how-to-pay-your-respects-to-erin-popovich-wife-of-spurs-coach

 

 

 

Not quite cricket?

May 3, 2018

Apparently NY Yankees & Boston Red Sox to play will play the first two MLB games in London, England next year.   Oh, good, if ever two teams needed the extra exposure….

New reports that in police report of Johnny Manziel’s arrest, Dallas cops said Manziel’s ex-girlfriend “felt like she was going to die or get beaten really bad.” And Johnny will still probably have a job offer before Colin Kaepernick.

David Fizdale signed four-year deal to coach NY Knicks. So what’s over-under on how many years he actually WILL coach Knicks? 2 1/2, 2, 1…?

Can we retire basketball phrase “Two-possession game?” I know Americans are bad at math. But do we really need reminder that many of us can’t count past 3?

So did the Raptors not rest players enough during the NBA regular season or have they just caught  Maple Leafs playoff disease?

A Modesto, CA man received only minor injuries when he was crossing tracks in front of a slow moving train, and was hit and dragged.  He said he was talking to someone and didn’t hear  the train, also that it was the 2nd time he’d been hit and survived.

Is there such a thing as an honorary Darwin award?

To be fair, when he mentioned coming up with Michelle Wolf jokes, Dennis Miller didn’t say WHICH Wednesday.

.

At least one person shot at Opry Mills in Nashville. Police say shooting was result of a “dispute” at the mall. If only other shoppers were armed… #Murica

Guiliani says Trump doesn’t have time to “prepare” for a Mueller interview.  Leaving aside the idea of briefing sessions on the golf course, how much time does it take to prepare to tell the truth?

So there was no affair, and Stormy Daniels was making “false and extortionist accusations” and Cohen paid her anyway. Lordy, I hope there are tapes.

Trump claiming people saying “Merry Christmas” & “one nation under God” a lot more thanks to him. Actually, to be fair, with Trump in White House, a lot more people probably ARE praying. #NationalDayOfPrayer

As we read about raid on Dr. Bornstein’s office, might be good day to remember that OJ Simpson finally went to prison for stealing his own memorabilia back.

So can we start the pool on what day Stormy Daniels’ lawyer Michael Avenetti will release the tapes.

Melania Trump’s parents are apparently trying to become US citizens. I missed the @realDonaldTrump tweet railing against chain migration.

 

Now it appears Scott Pruitt reimbursed himself $65,000 for unknown expenses from his Oklahoma attorney general campaign. He’s only 49 years old, are we SURE Pruitt isn’t Trump’s illegitimate son?

How mad is Trump that Michael  Avenatti isn’t HIS lawyer?

Stripe time?

May 2, 2018

Tried to turn on the Rockets Jazz playoff game on ESPN, and lo and behold, the Yankees game was on. Who’d a thunk it?

The Rockies sent rookie outfielder Noel Cuevas, with a cart, in uniform, to walk to a Starbucks near Wrigley Field and pick up various coffee orders for 20 of  his teammates.

Cuevas appeared to have been a good sport about it. But how’d you like to be the person behind him in line?

Washington Redskins cheerleaders apparently were required to pose topless for a photo shoot in 2013 in front of team sponsors and suiteholders, and some of them had to serve as escorts for the men. But hey,  not like the team did anything really bad like support players who knelt for the anthem.

So in week after #NFLDraft does any team ever say “We didn’t really get any of the players we wanted, teams picking above us nabbed all our top choices?

CNN headline “There’s a good chance you’ll soon see regular gas selling for $3 a gallon.”
And all of us in California are going? “Where, for how long, can you post maps please?”

So who had Ty Cobb in Trump resignation bingo?

18 GOP House members say “No one is more deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize than Donald Trump.”
They just have the punctuation wrong: “No one” would be a more deserving choice than @realDonaldTrump.

I’m old enough to remember when idea that @HillaryClinton MIGHT be lying about her health was enough in many minds to disqualify her from the Presidency.

Imagine if it came out that Hillary Clinton had dictated a statement to her doctor to release during the 2016 about HER health.

Umpteenth tweet from @realDonaldTrump on #NoCollusion  Queen Gertrude was right – “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

Has anyone considered that Dennis Miller might really be upset because no one ever told him he created a perfect smokey eye?

How many facts is Sarah Huckabee Sanders going to have to burn tonight to get that perfect smokey eye tomorrow?

So let me get this straight, Michael Cohen paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 to keep quiet about an affair that didn’t happen. Then Trump out of the goodness of his heart reimbursed him. Dr. Jackson must have been dispensing some strong stuff…. #RudyGiuliani

So in case of impeachment did Mike Pence promise Rudy Giuliani the vice-presidency?

Social media & every major news site trumpeting how Guiliani admitted Trump reimbursed Michael Cohen for Stormy Daniels payment. Fox headline – “Trump attorney tells Fox News Comey must be prosecuted, Mueller probe must end.”

 

Trump administration loves to distract with bright shiny objects. If Rudy Giuliani’s admitting @POTUS repaying Cohen was a deliberate comment to distract,, what can we imagine that something else might be?

Missed it by that much, and that much, and that much.

May 2, 2018

Toronto Raptors picked a bad time to do their playoff Maple Leafs imitation.

Lebron gave credit after the game to “my teammates” who were “unbelievable.” Shouldn’t he have also given credit to the Raptors shooting down the stretch?

As a @Spurs fan would be more worried about all this negative speculation about Kawhi if the man had said by way of a complaint himself. But hey, NY and LA media got to dream. #GoSpursGo

Many women regularly complain about going to a sale and having the good stuff all picked over.   Has any NFL GM ever said a week after the draft “Yeah, none of the players we really wanted were left when we picked?

A sorority at Fort Valley State in Georgia is implicated in a scandal where pledges allegedly participated in a sex ring to help pay their initiation fees. Doesn’t this sound like the plot of a bad porn movie?

House rebuffed Trump and voted 393-13 to reauthorizes FAA & not privatize air traffic control. Guess even the most pro-corporate interest types don’t want big business doing to air traffic control what they’ve done with US airlines.

White House now says a “clerical error” caused Sarah Huckabee Sanders to release statement “Iran has a robust, clandestine nuclear weapons program.” It should have been “HAD” not “has.”
And they’re whining about eyeliner jokes?

Trump now “seriously thinking of the Space Force.” Who’d a thunk we’d miss Reagan’s Star Wars program?

 

Texas filed lawsuit Tuesday seeking to end DACA program. The lawsuit no doubt championed by Ted Cruz, born in Canada to a Delaware mother and Cuban father….. #Whythereisnosatire

 

Maybe we are going about this all wrong. Maybe the “liberal” media should report that Trump seduced his porn star and Playboy bunny mistresses while wearing a tan suit?

Trump doesn’t believe scientists and the military about the environment and wars? Why should we expect him to believe doctors about his weight and health?

 

Good for Trump to bring the crew of Southwest flight to the White House to honor their heroism. Now about James Shaw, Jr….

 

Amazing how many people who think Michelle Wolf is the voice of all liberals somehow also think Kanye West is the voice of all blacks.

No style points in baseball.

April 30, 2018

SF Giants looked a little hungover after four game series with Dodgers, blowing a 3-0 lead with 2 errors and lethargic play. Until the bottom of the 9th.  When they came up with a 3 run, 2-out rally.   TGFP –  Thank God For Padres.

 

But Corey Seager is out for the year. Wow. So Giants broke two Dodgers in one weekend? (Him and Puig.)

Despite FIFA’s ethics warning, Trump today again asked African nations to back the US World Cup bid.   “We will be watching very closely and any help they can give us in that bid, we would appreciate.”

At least he didn’t say “Vote for our bid because your countries are shitholes.”#smallmercies

Quite a photo op at the White House today.  Muhammadu Buhari, the Nigerian President and  Donald Trump, the wannabe Nigerian Prince.

 

Ersan Ilyasova said when the 76ers played the Heat “in Miami … the gym was half-empty.” “Half-empty” -or as the Marlins call that, an opening day crowd.

Waiting for Kanye West to say he should host next year’s WHCD.

If White House Correspondents Association wants a really polished speaker who can tell jokes in a classy manner maybe next year they should invite as their headliner Barack Obama

 

Just guessing there’s pretty high correlation between people who judge Michelle Wolf much more harshly than they would a man, & those who did the same with Hillary  Clinton.

Would it have been better if Michelle Wolf just called Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway “nasty women?”

Trump claiming his White House has “great Energy and unending Stamina…” That’s why he needs to spend every weekend golfing and/or at one of his resorts?

So reportedly John Kelly has repeatedly called Donald Trump “an idiot.” But let’s get to the important stuff – did he talk about Trump’s makeup?

John Kelly says he didn’t call Trump an idiot. Of course not. Everyone in the White House knows the correct term is “f*cking moron.”

From Urban Decay Customer Service After suggesting a “burnt lies” eyeliner with proceeds to go to a women’s charity. “That is a great idea! … this will be passed on to our upper management.” Hey, I’d buy it. #PerfectSmokeyEye

Reaching that low bar

April 30, 2018

Don’t look now after winning 3 of 4 from the Dodgers, SFGiants are back to .500. #BeatLA

 

And Bruce Bochy says Pablo Sandoval might pitch again. Who needs Ohtani?

Apparently, since the spread was from 6.5 to 5, Las Vegas sports books lost a lot of money when the Pacers hit a last-second three pointer to cut the Cavs’ victory margin from 7 to 4.   On the other hand, think how much Vegas would lose because millions of fans would lose interest with Lebron not playing into Round 2.

And now that we’re approaching the end of April, it’s only SIX WEEKS left until a possible game seven of the NBA finals.

NRA is banning guns at their “Leadership Forum” because VP Mike Pence is speaking. Uh, wait a minute, wouldn’t he be safer with thousands of “good guys with guns?”

Speaking as a woman who struggles to just get a nice straight line on occasions I try eyeliner, I’d take “perfect smokey eye” as a compliment. #WHCD

Trump refers to Michelle Wolf as “the filthy ‘comedian’.” Because he’s too old and tired to think of an insult based on her name?

 

#WHCA groveling at @realDonaldTrump’s tiny feet because presumably they worry about losing access. What’s he going to do, stop having press conferences…. ? Uh, never mind.

So it’s okay for Trump to say Gail Collins has the “face of a dog” and to say Mika Brzezinski was “bleeding badly from a facelift.” But not to joke about Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ eye makeup? #Snowflakes

Seriously, does anyone doubt Trump wrote this tweet in his mind BEFORE #WHCD? “Everyone is talking about the fact that the White House Correspondents Dinner was a very big, boring bust…the so-called comedian really “bombed.” #FakeOutrage

Maybe reason media is REALLY angry at @michelleisawolf is not attacks on Sarah Huckabee Sanders but this line – Trump “has helped you sell your papers and your books and your TV. You helped create this monster and now you are profiting from him.” #TheTruthHurts

Prodigal Panda

April 29, 2018

So how had the only SF Giants pitcher who would have a 1-2-3 inning in game one of a double header against LA Dodgers Saturday would be Pablo Sandoval?


At least the Giants scored enough that Bruce Bochy didn’t have to use Panda to close in the nightcap.

 

Carmelo Anthony on possibilities for next year with the OKC Thunder “Yeah, I’m not sacrificing no bench role.  That’s out of the question.”

Proving once again, maybe you can’t cure cancer. But you can sometimes trade it.

And then who had the SF Giants scoring 13 runs in two games  – more than they scored in the first week and only managing to win one?

Just wondering how many of these newly minted experts in NFL draft will remember where three-quarters of these players were drafted by opening week?

That moment when you read on Twitter that Paul Ryan nominated rich televangelist Joel Osteen, who wouldn’t open his 16,000 person church to hurricane Harvey victims as House Chaplain. And you have no idea if it’s satire.

Trying to imagine GOP reaction if Nancy Pelosi as Speaker had ever fired a House chaplain?

Tonight Trump told supporters in Michigan “I’d rather be with you” than in DC. Of course, on any weekend that there isn’t #WHCD he’d rather be at Mar-A-Lago or another Trump resort.

 

The guy who said “I really believe I’d run in there” to face an armed killer has flown to Michigan tonight to avoid facing reporters and comedians.

So how soon will Sephora start selling a smoky eye liner titled “Burnt lies?

In Nogales Arizona, officer Jesus Cordova was fatally shot, allegedly by carjacking suspect David Ernesto Murillo. Awful. But how deplorable have we become when Trump trolls mourn fallen Latino cop at same time they INSIST Latino killer must have been illegal?

 

It’s all relative.

April 28, 2018

FIFA called out Trump on ethics after he tweeted about not supporting countries who don’t support North American World Cup 2026 bid.
Give Donald Trump credit – who else could give FIFA the moral high road?

SF Giants beat Dodgers tonight aided by a run-scoring balk when Los Angeles reliever Baez fell off the mound.  Somewhere the ghost of Candlestick is claiming credit for a phantom wind.

Tonight’s NBA question “WWLF” Who Will Lebron Fire? #CavsVsPacers

Former LSU star RB Derrius Guice was chosen by the Redskins as the 59th pick, late in the 2nd round.  His draft stock had fallen significantly with rumors that there was a serious off-field issue in his past.  On a brighter note for Guice, where else but Washington, D.C, has a history of serious bad behavior become so meaningless?

Tomorrow begins round 4 of the NFL draft. And if you’re really paying attention, and aren’t related to a potential draftee… you just might need a life.

How much would we all have liked to see @realDonaldTrump try to brush dandruff off Angela Merkel?

 GOP Rep. Luke Messer will nominate Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize. What’s next? Nominating him for Husband of the Year?

House report indicates that they don’t believe Michael Flynn lied to FBI agents. Well, yes, because the only real definite confirmation of that allegation came from Flynn himself with his guilty plea.

 

One of those phrases we thought we’d never see “Infield hit for Buster Posey.” SFGiants

CDC now reports 98 people sick with E-Coli from eating romaine lettuce, including 10 with kidney failure.. But hey, let’s get rid of more pesky regulations

Trump on North Korea and South Korea “Let’s see what happens.” Translation, if they work things out I will take all the credit, and if not, it’s Hillary or Obama’s fault.

 

Rep. Patrick Meehan, under investigation for allegedly sexual harassing a female staffer & paying her off with tax dollars, has resigned. Wonder what Cabinet position Trump will nominate him for

Ch-ch-ch-choices…..

April 26, 2018

Has any team after day 1 of NFL Draft ever said “Well, guy we picked was our 4th or 5th choice, but the SOBs above us nabbed all the guys we really wanted”?

NFL Draft.  When many young men will have their dreams come true. Including those who breathed a sigh of relief “Well, at least I didn’t get drafted by the Cleveland Browns.”

NY Jets fans seem very happy with Sam Darnold And why not, because USC QBs have done so well lately in the NFL….. #sarcasm

San Jose Sharks could have found a better way to distract from #NFLdraft than to lose by a 7-0 football score.

NBA admits last night they missed goaltending on LeBron James at end of Cavs-Pacers game 5. Silly league. Don’t they know superstars NEVER goaltend? Or travel for that matter.

Despite joking about bomb at LAX, Packers WR Trevor Davis will not face charges after meeting with LA City Attorney. Did Davis claim he didn’t know any better since he’s a Cal grad? @StanfordFootball

Well so much for Donald Trump’s plan to nominate as Secretary of VA, Dr. Cliff Huxtable.

So will O.J. Simpson offer to help Bill Cosby find the real rapist.

So House Speaker Ryan fired House chaplain for criticizing tax cuts? I’m so old that I remember when Paul Ryan was a “compassionate conservative.”

So when’s the duet coming out with Kanye West and Shania Twain?

When Trump visits England in July he may skip London to avoid unpleasant protests. Right, the man who believes he would rush a shooter is afraid of unarmed Brits with placards. #CadetBoneSpurs

Rand Paul saying he opposes Gina Haspel’s nomination to lead the CIA over her use of torture. Time to open up the pool on when Paul will say he’s decided to support her. #invertebrate

Trump said maybe he didn’t get Melania “so much” for her birthday. “I got her a beautiful card.” Not perhaps the gift she really wanted – divorce papers?

Trump on  Fox and Friends – Cohen was one of his “many attorneys. He represents me like with this crazy Stormy Daniels deal.”
Can’t imagine why White House doesn’t want him to sit down with Mueller.

That moment when POTUS is even too crazy for  Fox and Friends….

Trump tweeted  he “Loved being on @foxandfriends this morning. Great show!”
Maybe not as much as Democrats liked it.

 

Congressman Steve King proposed legislation to keep CNN from paying airports to be on televisions in terminals. Well, not like GOP is about free markets or anything….

T’is the season

April 25, 2018

Spring in Canada, the time for falling Leafs.

 

Some say Cubs winning World Series hastened coming of the apocalypse. Well, at least MapleLeafs won’t do their part this year by winning Stanley Cup.

 

So is Reuben Foster’s ex claiming she fought with Manti T’eo’s girlfriend? #49ers

Who the heck knows truth in Reuben Foster case. But fact remains his accuser recanted BEFORE D.A. pressed charges. We all know she’s a liar; they think she wasn’t lying then, but she’s lying now.

The Commission on College Basketball has recommended potential lifetime bans for coaches who cheat. Over-under on how many coaches suddenly retire or move to NBA?

There are days when I really am sorry that #SFGiants play in afternoon so I can’t watch the game after work.  Wednesday was not one of those days.

Uh oh – quote from Oct 2017 NFL owners’ meeting “we have a president who will use (kneeling) as fodder to do his mission that I don’t feel is in the best interests of America.” From that commie-pinko Robert Kraft.

That moment when President of France gives a far better speech in English to Congress than any President of the US has made….

 

Ben Carson wants to increase rents for low-income Americans on housing assistance. Well, someone’s got to pay to help subsidize poor investors like Sean Hannity.

All these stories coming out about Ronny Jackson Jr. make me wonder how long until GOP will demand hearings- as to why he wasn’t fired by Obama.

239 pounds, 289 pounds. Hey, who among us hasn’t said 3 when we meant 8? I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. #RonnyJackson

That moment that your coffee boy lawyer takes the Fifth Amendment….

Dear Gawd, what cabinet post will Trump try to nominate Kanye West to now?

Amazing how many who think Americans shouldn’t boycott Kanye West’s music because of his political views are thrilled no NFL team will sign Colin Kaepernick.

Kanye West isn’t fit to hold James Shaw Jr’s jockstrap. That is all.

(James Shaw Jr. is the Waffle House hero.)