Left Coast Sports Babe

Madison Bumgarner should have taken the day off to ride his dirt bike. 

Number one googled question today with SFGiants fans. “How long does a fractured hand take to heal?”

Every year MLB has a Rookie of the Year, usually someone unexpected. This year it might as well be a SFGiants starting pitcher, right?

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First Shark, then Madbum. Thinking about now SF Giants coach  Bruce Bochy might be calling Spurs coach  Gregg Popovich to see how “smoke and mirrors” coaching style works.

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ESPN reseeded brackets after all 1st weekend upsets. 13-14-15-16 were Florida State-Michigan-Loyola Chicago & Kansas State.
Maybe they should have quit while they were behind.

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Apparently Kentucky players didn’t shake hands with Kansas State after their Sweet 16 loss. I’m sure it was just an oversight by classy coach John Calipari..

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Democrats OFFERED Trump money for his wall in exchange for a path to citizenship for 1.8 million DACA immigrants. S  o again today – lies, damn lies, and Trumpisms.

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WSJ said Trump signed spending bill because aides warned him he’d be blamed for government shutdown while he flew off to Mar-A-Lago.    So US government stays open because POTUS wanted to golf? #whatacountry

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Trump to Congress while signing spending bill – “I will never sign another bill like this again.” So does he expect to resign or be impeached?

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How petty for Trump to announce Friday night executive order banning transgenders from serving in military. When it would be easy for transgender cowards to claim bone spurs.

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Only thing that will make @realDonaldTrump more unhappy than thought of kids in #MarchForOurLives voting is that march crowd will be bigger than his inaugural.

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A rumor that Trump was going to fire HUD secretary Ben Carson Thursday.   Did he hold off because he couldn’t find anyone else to take job, or is he waiting for Stormy Daniels interview?

From TC,  “If teachers are to be armed, will librarians have silencers?

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And seriously, so while NRA crows about “good guy with a gun” after shooting at Great Mills high school,  Jaelynn Willey, 16, died when her parents took her off life support.

#Marchforourlives

Been a rough week already, still have to smile seeing Sister Jean  win and John Calipari lose.

Good to see Kansas State move on. But would have been fun coming up with Good vs . Evil punchlines with Sister Jean matched up against Calipari.

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Because we all tune into March Madness games to see referees call fouls?
Good thing Kansas State vs. Kentucky didn’t go into overtime. They might have had to play the ball boys.

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Wow. Michigan over TAMU in a rout, over a 20 point lead after first half. Normally when Texans are this embarrassed in basketball the Mavericks are involved.

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Frank Gore, 35, just signed a one-year contract with Dolphins. Makes sense, Gore IS a Miami native. And for dinners he’s looking forward to all those “Early-Bird specials.”

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Wonder if Captain Edward J. Smith thought of firing some of his crew for distraction after the Titanic hit the iceberg.

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A provision in new spending bill would make minor league baseball players exempt employees who could be paid as little as $1,000 a month. Average MLB salary is over $4 million a year.
And some can’t imagine why players would risk a suspension and their health to use PEDs.

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RIP Frank Avruch, 89, who was “Bozo the Clown” on TV. Wonder where they’re going to find a coffin big enough for those shoes.

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Zuckerberg “I’m really sorry this happened.” The data breach? Or that Facebook got caught.

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Waiting for EPA Secretary Scott Pruitt to say his wife told him to fly first class.

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Would love to be a fly on the wall listening to a dinner table conversation between Melania Trump & Candy (Mrs. Ben) Carson about now.

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John Dowd “”I love the president and wish him very well.” Is that lawyer-speak for “Bless his heart?”

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So who will spring for Pay-Per-View rights for the fight between Trump and Biden?

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So @realdonaldTrump would confront an armed killer, and take down Joe Biden, but he’s afraid of a porn star…. #WTF?

Remember when Hillary haters said they could never respect a woman who stayed with a husband who humiliated her with repeat affairs. If not, no worries – guess the GOP doesn’t either.

Karen McDougal “I thought I was the only one, I did. I thought I was the only one.”
Latest Trump reality show – “Men who cheat on their mistresses.”

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So if China tariffs and subsequent market tanking are Trump’s response to Mueller getting closer, what’s POTUS going to do when the investigation actually starts issuing more indictments?

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To all those who have been saying, “Cheer up, it could be worse,” Trump now gives us John Bolton as NSA. It just got worse.

All these expert predictions for Sweet Sixteen. Because they did so well for the opening weekend of March Madness?

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Duke has suddenly become a media hot-pick in the tournament.  Blue Devils fans have to hope that doesn’t mean the Blue Devils are about to be bounced in the next round.

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NFL going to change the language of catch-rule, so Steelers’ late go-ahead TD in week 15 against New England would have counted. Guess league will just have to find another way to help the Patriots.

Still 3 weeks left in NBA regular season, but apparently @Spurs did not take kindly to all stories last week about them missing playoffs for 1st time in 21 years.

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United now selling Priority Boarding for Group 2, “Priority boarding lets you avoid the lines and get to your seat sooner.”
Uh, has anyone actually seen the Group 2 lines lately

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Texas bomber was a conservative young white man who was against homosexuality and abortion. So move along, no terrorism to see here…

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So Marco Rubio is upset about story of Trump congratulating Putin, because he thinks the LEAKER is “dangerous.” But the guy sitting in the Oval Office is just fine?

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Joe Biden said he would have ‘beat the hell out’ of Trump in high school for disrespecting women. Like Joe beat the hell out of Clarence Thomas?

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Since Trump isn’t worried about shooting someone on 5th Ave but is worried about his mistresses talking, can only assume problem isn’t potential crime, but embarrassment. #Smallhands

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Just three of Trump’s morning typos “Special Council is told to find crimes wether crimes exist or not. I was opposed to the the selection.”
I guess grammar has a liberal bias.

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Well, at least we don’t have to hear those ridiculous rumors about #MarkZuckerberg running for President in 2020 anymore.

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As the Facebook scandal grows, maybe it’s time to rethink idea that future tech leaders can concentrate on STEM & don’t need liberal arts courses like history, literature, philosophy, ethics….

So while Congress tries to avert another government shutdown, a provision in the spending bill could exempt Minor League Baseball from federal labor laws, thus derailing a multi-year lawsuit which aims to get at least least MINIMUM wage for minor league players.
Because billionaire and millionaire baseball owners didn’t get a big enough tax cut? #WTF?

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Vince McMahon says his new XFL league will start in 2020. Meanwhile, Charlie Ebersol’s “Alliance of American Football” league will start with a 10 week season starting Feb. 9, 2019, the week after the Super Bowl.
Right, because what we really need with falling NFL ratings & CTE issues is MORE football.

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As we lament the sad state of #Pac12 sports, important to remember conference still has 4 teams in #SweetSixteen. In women’s basketball. #MarchMadness #YouGoGirls

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“How many deaths will it take till he knows, that too many people have died…?” And Bob Dylan wrote “Blowin’ in the Wind” before the NRA became a terrorist organization.

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Watching “Stormtracker” in SF Bay Area with less than an inch of rain in most places and thinking this is why the rest of the country hates California.

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NSA advisors wrote ‘DO NOT CONGRATULATE” on Trump’s briefing material before his call with Putin. Silly advisors. They should have said “Obama would congratulate him on election win.”

Trump thinks commercials showing dangers of drugs will turn people off of using them. Right, like showing murders on TV shows turns them off using guns.

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It isn’t about Trump cheating on Melania. That’s their business. It’s intimidating his ex lovers, possibly using campaign funds to pay them off, and hypocritically legislating morality for other Americans. That’s OUR business.

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Melania Trump on cyberbullying “I have been criticized by many for my commitment to tackling this issue, and I know that will continue.”
Including by her husband?

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If there was a chance in hell the Austin bomber, who is targeting minorities, was Latino or Muslim we’d be hearing from @RealDonaldTrump & @FoxNews nonstop about walls and immigration bans.

So this was the Monday when most people’s stupidest St. Patrick Day exploits were probably less embarrassing to recount than their March Madness bracket picks.

No one really likes to see a baseball star get hurt, even a Dodger.
So Giants fans hope Justin Turner’s broken wrist heals, but that he doesn’t rush it and takes at least first 31 games of MLB season off.
In the 1st 31 games LA plays SF 10 times.

It was 59-52 Spurs over Warriors with 3 min left in 3rd. Were we watching NBA playoff teams or two teams vying for Sweet Sixteen in NCAAs?

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And in the end, yeah, the Spurs beat a Warriors team that had four All-Stars out. Just thinking San Antonio would gladly trade one game missing 4 top players, for a season w/ their MVP.

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Cavs coach Ty Lue is stepping away due to “health issues.” Translation – he’s sick of dealing with Lebron?

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Now reports are Donald Trump Jr. had an affair w/ a “Celebrity Apprentice” contestant. I’m sure this is somehow Hillary’s fault.

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Not sure how I feel about #CynthiaNixon‘s candidacy. But the people who attack her as a unqualified actor,  who themselves voted for Trump should STFU. (IMHO)

I’m so old I remember when the most embarrassing thing we had to explain to our children about Presidential sex involved a cigar. #StormyDanielsDickPics

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Feeling even better that I never wasted time on stupid Facebook quizzes.

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If #CambridgeAnalytica had been working on behalf of Hillary Clinton does anyone doubt GOP would be calling for criminal charges?

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Facebook just changed relationship status with its users to “it’s complicated.”

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Donald Trump is getting so agitated about idea of a “Witch Hunt” he is going to lose his black pointy hat.

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So at this point guessing no one in the GOP would point out that the Emperor was naked either?

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Trump is really into his “Witch Hunt” phrase. Does he even tweet it from “Air Force Broom?

This year, millions of Americans REALLY looking forward to few weeks of caring passionately about teams who we barely knew existed before. #MarchMadness #distraction

So apparently  Pac 12 really DID decide to take March Madness off.

For Pac 12 fans, is it worth mentioning that Stanford remains alive for an NIT championship? #MarchMadness

Cool thing about Loyola-Chicago upset today: At least Americans who picked Ramblers randomly can answer a question as to where school actually is located.

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RIP longtime University of Texas coach Augie Garrido, 79.  One of best to coach amateur teams in history. Even counting Stengel with 1962 Mets.

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So in the end will Sean Miller  be fired from Arizona because he didn’t pay players enough?

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So if Trump admits he “made up facts”  with Justin Trudeau, what other world leaders has he made up facts with? Surely not BFF Putin?

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Now Trump is firing McMaster. Do the surviving members of his administration get a rose?

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RIP Tom Benson, 90, owner of New Orleans Saints.  He’d apparently been ill since February.  Let’s hope the ending of that playoff game with Vikings didn’t ultimately kill him.

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Brand-new (and quickly installed)  pedestrian footbridge collapse is an awful story at Florida International University . No cause known yet. But good time to remember that not all “burdensome” regulations are excessive.

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There’s a reason the 1st Amendment came before the 2nd Amendment.#NationalWalkoutDay #MarchForOurLives

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So @RealDonaldTrump made up a story of a meeting w/ @JustinTrudeau in which he bragged about lying. And anyone seriously expects any other country to make deals with US?

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Now it turns out Trump may have made up meeting where he said he lied to Trudeau. Time for a new hashtag – #ThatIsSoTrump

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A second Trump lawyer is now battling to keep Stormy Daniels from talking. Uh, if it’s all lies, who cares what she says?

But seriously has Trump forgotten a cardinal rule.  Don’t screw with the people you’ve literally screwed.

How many kids did you kill today?  (From a chant during #NationalStudentWalkout)

The kids are alright. And they are going to be voting.

Barack Obama has tweeted out his NCAA brackets. Donald Trump will not share his publicly but no doubt Sarah Huckabee Sanders will announce after tournament that he had a perfect score. #MarchMadness

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You can now do the equivalent of “Quick Picks” for your NCAA brackets, ie randomly get one filled out, or a so-called “smart bracket.”  How lazy are we getting….

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So did the Pac 12 make a joint pact to take the NCAA Tournament off?

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So for younger generation will #ToysRUs now become like baby boomers’ gone-but-not-forgotten Sears Christmas catalog?

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So is there a E-harmony equivalent for prisons? Maybe they can make a match between Elizabeth Holmes & Martin Shkreli?

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Alex Jones is claiming Democrats won #PA18 by having dead people vote. So congrats to all those who had “less than 24 hours” in the pool.

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All this talk of @ConorLambPA being a DINO.  First, he’s pro-choice, pro-union, pro-universal healthcare, anti Trump tax cuts, etc.   But that district is not Los Angeles, or even Philly.    Plus remember, even DINO’s & RINO’s tend to vote party when chips are down. “Moderates” in GOP are still doing Trump’s bidding.

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Wonder why Trump didn’t appoint Larry Kudlow “drug czar?

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Nikki Haley to UN “US believes Russia is responsible for attack on 2 people in UK using a military-grade nerve agent.”
Didn’t realize Haley also wanted to leave Trump administration… #exitstrategy

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So is Melania texting Vanessa for advice tonight?

After Barack Obama was elected I remember going to see great Will Durst, and hearing him open a show with “Hi, I’m Will Durst, and I no longer have an act.”
How I miss the days when it was really hard to come up with political comedy.

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Thinking today’s #NationalStudentWalkout might make GOP inclined to raise minimum age from 18. Not for buying a gun, but for voting.

Anyone have their brackets busted yet? #UCLA

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One of these years the New Orleans Saints will start the season with a new QB. But barring injury it won’t be 2018!

Drew Brees turned down much larger guaranteed offers to resign with Saints. Nice to know that it’s not ALL about $$$. Though guessing Drew can still feed his family on $25 mill even if 2nd year not guaranteed.

Well, at least odds are good they’ll be raising an #NIT banner at a #PAC12 school this year.#MarchMadness

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Happy about #PA18. But is it just me or does Conor Lamb look like he is about 12 years old? #BlueWave2018

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So wonder who Trump will fire tomorrow to distract from #PA18 tonight?

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Whatever happens in #PA18, a very big lesson from today is that EVERY. VOTE. COUNTS.

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Breaking up with someone via Twitter is pretty universally acknowledged to be a cowardly and immature thing to do. Donald  Trump just fired Tillerson by tweet.

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If Rex Tillerson called Trump a “fucking moron” while he was working for him, imagine what he’ll call Trump now that he’s been fired?

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Trump tweet announcing Tillerson firing & new appts ends “Congratulations to all.”
Really not loving this season of Presidential Apprentice.

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Trump said without his proposed wall, people will move out of California “soon.” And many Californians are going “Promise? We need lower housing prices.”

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Really miss days when you could get on a plane, turn off internet for a few hours and not realize your first thought upon landing will probably be “WTF did he do now?

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There was more Democratic condemnation of Bill Clinton over a blow job than there is GOP condemnation of Donald Trump over a porn star, unqualified appointees, graft, Russia…

A report in the UK Daily Mail says that a family of 3 has a “1-in-17,500 chance of sitting together on a Ryanair flight unless they pay extra.”
And then of course there is a 100% chance that in those 17,499 other instances they will whine and ask other passengers to give up their good seats for the family’s middle seats.

At this point Trump Resignation-Firing Bingo might be distracting many Americans from their NCAA March Madness pools.

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Dolphins going to release #NdamukongSuh  Ouch, that will really stomp on his eg

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Who says there’s no bipartisan agreement in the US. EVERYONE hated TBS  selection show.

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A very simple question for @realDonaldTrump: If #StormyDaniels is #FakeNews then what does it matter if she goes on 60 Minutes or any other show?

Serena Williams, 18 months after having a daughter, plus having blood clots on her lungs & a hematoma after the birth, playing into 3rd round of tournament at Indian Wells. #weakersexmyass

So of course with less than a month left in NBA season, everyone predicted #Warriors & #Cavs would be sitting at #2 and #3 seeds.

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TBS  changed  Selection Sunday format, presumably for ratings. What’s next, choosing field then announcing they’re replacing a team with a runner-up? #AftertheFinalRose

USC and Notre Dame among the top snubs for #MarchMadness Setting up a possible #NIT final between 2 of schools Americans most love to hate?#Ratings

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GOP House Intel Committee ends Russia probe – “no collusion.” Guessing that blackjack dealers also would have ended a probe of gambling in Casablanca.

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Worst thing about this administration is not the ignorance, it is that for Trump, ignorance is a badge of honor.

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Tom Rooney, like Mueller, is a Republican. Just sayin’.#HouseIntelligenceCommittee

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Pelosi on GOP end of Russia-Trump probe : They’ve “abandoned their oath” to protect the American people.  Maybe not. If you consider American people just means “older white men.”

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GOP official Instagram account for Women’s History Month noted women @realDonaldTrump has “appointed to high-ranking positions”, including Melania Trump & Karen Pence. Why stop there? Certainly Trump has done wonders for Stormy Daniels’ career.

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As we remembered to put our clocks forward this weekend, can we all resolve to try to put our country forward in November? Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Did I mention we need to remember to vote?

Heading to March Madness,   64 down to 1.  And besides the possible Trump administration resignations, there’s a basketball tournament going on.

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Martin Shkreli apparently cried & pleaded with the judge for leniency at his sentencing. “I feel so sorry for him” said absolutely, positively nobody.

Anyone else think it would be nice if many Americans were as upset about Trump’s various misdeeds as they were about Arie dumping Becca?

Richard Sherman to the 49ers. Well, San Francisco may not make the playoffs next year. But they sure got a lot more quotable.

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I dream of a day again when Gregg Popovich can look at POTUS and decide to stick to coaching. #GoSpursGo

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#WhenTrumpMeetsKim For all those who would have liked #WhenHarryMetSally if potential nuclear war was at stake.

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Average VA (Veterans Affairs) psychologist makes under $100,000 a year. So we could hire about 300 more of them for the cost of Trump’s one-day ego-trip parade.

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Suppose that as a distraction from Stormy Daniels story Trump saying he will meet Kim Jong Un is better than starting a nuclear war.

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Trump congratulating himself on “deal with North Korea… very much in the making & will be, if completed, a very good one for the World. Time & place to be determined.” Right after he releases his tax returns?

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What visions I have seen. Methought I was enamored of an ass.” Who knew Shakespeare possibly presaged some disillusioned Trump voters?

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NRA files lawsuit over Florida gun control law raising age to 21 saying it violates 2nd amendment. Uh, except 2nd amendment applies only to landowning white men.

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Canadian study found employees who attacked voodoo dolls when upset at bosses were happier than those those who bottled in their sense of injustice. If only someone at White House was “woke” enough to order voodoo dolls.

Spurs might not even make 2018 playoffs but w/ what  Gregg Popovich has left in terms of players have to figure if he were British he’d be knighted for this coaching performance.#GoSpursGo

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Nothing against Curry but after the Western Conference finals with Zaza and Kawhi in 2017,  just maybe mean bitch karma has decided that Chris Paul should have a ring this year.

A 19 year old  Australian rugby player was at least temporarily paralyzed after he ate a poisonous garden slug on a dare. If only he had stuck to Tide Pods.

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Lamont Smith resigned as men’s basketball coach at Univ. of San Diego after being arrested for alleged domestic violence against his mistress at a team hotel. On top of everything else, shouldn’t men know by now, when you have everything to lose, be nice to your lover. Even if they aren’t a porn star.

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Happy #InternationalWomensDay Waiting for the GOP rebuttal.

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Trump coming to California next week for a fundraiser & to look at prototypes for his wall. Can we practice by building a wall to keep him out?

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Now POTUS is apparently annoyed at Sarah Huckabee Sanders.  We’re going to need a bigger card for Trump Resignation Bingo.

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So@POTUS and Kim Jong Un have agreed (for now) to meet in person. If only the meeting was between Korean leader and someone a bit more rational – like Dennis Rodman.

Kim Jong Un and Trump to meet “by May.” Think either of them think “May” might be a porn star?

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So the real question, who will play Kim Jong Un on SNL this May?

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AZ Sen. Jeff Flake threatening to introduce legislation against Trump tariffs. So after all the angry talk over racism, lies, accusing opponents of treason, who knew Flake’s red line would be tariffs? #Priorities

#ToyRUs has announced they are liquidating. I missed the Trump tweet taking credit. Jobs! Jobs! Jobs!

Now rumors are that Trump’s NDA with Stormy Daniels includes “paternity information.” We are going to have a national wide popcorn shortage

Reports are that Peyton Manning could make $10 Million a year as an analyst for Fox Sports or ESPN. And that’s before he mentions Budweiser or Papa John’s every 15 minutes.

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Ichiro, 44, signing 1-year deal with Mariners. When is Seattle making an offer to Jamie Moyer?

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Twitter report, “Kawhi spoke and said he wanted to finish his career as a Spur.”  What?  Kawhi actually spoke?

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Alexa reportedly cackling at what seems like random moments. Maybe she is laughing because of all the free information users are giving Amazon.

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Tom Brady, on his children being in tears after the Super Bowl “Look, you guys, this is a great lesson. We don’t always win. We try our best and sometimes it doesn’t go the way we want.'”
So does this mean the smartest kids have fathers who play for the Cleveland Browns?

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We impeached a President for lying about consensual affair with an intern- now barely blink when a President pays $130,000 to hush up an affair with a porn star. #NewAbnormal

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So are Jeff Sessions and Trump REALLY upset about California because our economy is so much better than in most red states?

So tell me again why California can’t just secede and become our own country? Kindler, gentler and with a MUCH better economy

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British police say former Russian spy & his daughter were poisoned with a nerve agent in Salisbury, England. Maybe Sam Nunberg wasn’t so crazy in trying to get arrested after all.

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So imagine if Bill Clinton had tried to use campaign funds to pay Monica Lewinsky not to talk about their relationship..

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Trump is now denying he had an affair with Stormy Daniels Anyone want to start a pool on the date of his first #FakeDNA tweet?

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Betsy DeVos visited Stoneman Douglas, not only wouldn’t talk to students, she abruptly walked out of her own press conference. This administration that thinks they are so brave is afraid of students and media. #snowflakes

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Anyone else a bit disappointed that Betsy Devos did not suggest protecting students with trained grizzly bears?

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Today  California Governor JerryBrown taunted Trump & Sessions, calling them liars & saying “Mueller is closing in.”   Open note to @realDonaldTrump – you can use “Moonbeam” in a tweet if you want, Jerry can take it.

So of course it was probably about the money, or maybe not.  But how cool to hear Tim Lincecum,  now with the Texas Rangers, when asked by SF Chronicle’s John Shea if he could have signed w/ Dodgers “Could I? I had to think about that for a minute. But ultimately, I think it would be really tough to the point I would be betraying my heart.”

Watching #AfterTheFinalRose it’s strangely enjoyable to watch major reality star asshole on television without worrying that he will bring down the entire country.

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Ah for innocent days when #TheBachelor‘s publicly bad behavior w/ women would have been a bigger story than that of #POTUS. #StormyDaniels

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So when #StormyDaniels gets her book deal & $$$ will she send Monica Lewinsky a cut for inspiring her to keep the dress

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Nashville Mayor Megan Barry resigns after affair with her bodyguard. Shame, if she’d been a Republican this might have made her a future front runner for President.

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Florida State Sen. Kelli Stargel, who has 100% NRA rating – “thoughts and prayers are really the only thing that’s gonna stop” school massacres. Right, that’s been working so well…

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DOJ to sue California over three ‘sanctuary state’ laws. Uh, what happened to states’ rights. #consistencyhasaliberalbias

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So who had #GaryCohn in Trump Resignation Bingo?!!

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At this point beginning to look pretty good for those playing Trump Resignation Blackout Bingo. Who’s close to covering their whole card?

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“There is no Chaos, only great Energy!” Hmm, can I use Trump’s line about my messy desk?

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Problem with appointing anyone to replace Gary Cohn as White House economic advisor is that we all know Trump only takes advice from the voices in his head.

Steel, aluminum, coal. Waiting to hear Trump speech on building that bridge to the 19th century.

When depleted & exhausted Spurs barely hang on to beat Grizzlies maybe it’s time for few MVP votes for Kawhi Leonard.

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Disney executive James Pitaro named new president of ESPN. Cue the “Mickey Mouse organization” jokes.

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The Astros sent 1st round draft pick Seth Romero home for a “violation of team policy.”  In college at the University of Houston, Romero was suspended the 1st two weeks of  2016 season “for conduct detrimental to the team. ” Then the Cougars suspended the star lefty pitcher for a failed drug test and finally in May of 2017 dismissed him from the team for ANOTHER incident.

So seems like Romero is really testing baseball’s  “10 strikes and you’re out policy.”

Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport has flight arrivals delayed today for an average of over 2 hours due to “snow and ice.” Uh, isn’t “snow and ice” in winter in MSP redundant?

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Russ Solomon, 92, the founder of Tower Records, passed away yesterday. Or should we say he flipped over to the “B” side.

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These days Trump has to figure he should have just let Stormy Daniels come forward with her story & save the $130,000. Not that a porn star would have bothered his supporters anyway.

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Rex Tillerson has spent less of his $120 million budget to stop foreign meddling in our elections than Ben Carson wanted to spend on a dining room table.

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So Sam Nunberg won’t talk to Mueller but he’ll call in to @CNN. A bit unclear on that “right to remain silent” concept?

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Watching Sam Nunberg for Mueller has to feel like when you’ve been spending all day on a fishing trip and then one just jumps into your boat.

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Sam Nunberg’s interviews are so bizarre you think he might be angling for the open position of White House Communications Director?

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Ben Carson on the cabinet position he had no prior experience for… “There are more complexities here than in brain surgery.” Who knew HUD could be so complicated?

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TMZ reports an unnamed military official “cautioned John Harbaugh and Ravens about signing Colin Kaepernick” So when did Trump hire John Kelly?

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This Trump campaign sure had a lot of #covfefe boys.

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Major advantage in watching #TheBachelor is that all the people in your life feel so sane by comparison.

Imagine how long the Oscars would have been if they weren’t giving away a Jetski for shortest speech…

Mexican filmmaker Guillermo del Toro Gómez won best director & best picture for “The Shape of Water.” So will Trump congratulate him or say he should pay for the wall?

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So did Jennifer Garner’s “In Memoriam” introduction remind Ben Affleck of what he lost?

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Give Kobe credit, one of the first to win an Oscar AFTER his alleged sexual assault became public.

Kobe in his acceptance speech thanked his teammates.   Shocking.  Kobe knows he HAD teammates?

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Can we tell @realDonaldTrump he could win a gold-plated JetSki for the shortest tweets? Asking for a country.

So tomorrow is Kobe going to come out with a special limited-edition Oscar shoe?

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Can we be happy for #AllisonJanney winning and still wish that she was playing a real C.J. Cregg as Press Secretary?

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This is the year when many men in Hollywood would probably have rather been featured on “In memoriam” segment than have lived through the death of their careers.

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Seeing #Oscars90 trending. Are we talking about the average age of Oscars voters?

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With all that’s wrong in the world, listening to Kruk and Kuip call game, even if it’s spring training, is a very good thing. @SFGiants

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RIP Sir Roger Bannister, 1st to run a sub-4 minute mile. And if anyone was SURE to be in heaven before the devil knew he was dead….

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Trump golf courses apparently plan to use Presidential seal at tee boxes, which is illegal. Although compared to everything else lately a little graft seems so… quaint.

So if Trump started a trade war over Hope Hicks leaving, what’s he going to do over the Steele memo?

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Many of same people who think Trump was joking about being President for Life also thought the office would make him Presidential.

Steph Curry tweaked his ankle when he stepped on teammate Zaza Pachulia’s foot in Warriors-Hawks game. Not that I wish any harm to Curry, but if Zaza accidentally puts him out for a while, much of the NBA may join mean bitch Karma in a toast.

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So since Cleveland has lost 2 of 3, and JR Smith was suspended by the team tonight, will LeBron try to reshuffle the Cavs again?

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A lot of these conference NCAA men’s basketball tournaments might be more interesting if most of us could remember a returning star player or two from any top team.  #Oneandratingsaredonetoo

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Pilot landing at Dulles this morning in high winds reported that “pretty much everyone on the plane threw up. Pilots on verge of throwing up.” And they didn’t even have the fish. #Airplane

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Just guessing with this trade war that whatever Donald Trump majored in at college it wasn’t economics.

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#CMU gunman apparently fatally shot his parents in his dorm room. His father was a police officer. So about that good guy with a gun….

From TC in BC (British Columbia)  –  An  FBI report has the NCAA reeling this week for secret payoffs to college athletes. Payments as high as $100,000 (Arizona basketball) have been reported. A mass exodus of CFL (Canadian Football League)  players going back to school in the US is expected immediately.

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Delta CEO on NRA and Georgia. “Our decision was not made for economic gain and our values are not for sale.”
Give Trump and GOP credit, who knew it was possible to give a US airline the moral high ground?

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And btw, folks, a travel agent infomercial here – those airline corporate discounts like the one Delta got rid of for NRA? They are usually something like 5% off lowest fare, or 10% off full fare, and have to be booked through a special meetings-groups desk. 90% of the time people decide discount is more trouble than it’s worth.

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As we stagger to the end of another week, I am reminded of reasonable people I know who voted for Trump and thought that he would change and become Presidential in office.

Once again, we are learning what many women already knew, NEVER ever get into a long-term relationship with a man hoping he will change.

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On a positive note for week, while GOP congress shows no sign of returning deposits on their souls, @Delta, @Dicks & @Walmart decided to make statements. And even Jeff Sessions showed signs of a conscience.

Texas Wesleyan coach Mike Jeffcoat fired after he emailed a prospect “Unfortunately, we are not recruiting players from the state of Colorado. In the past, players have had trouble passing our drug test. We have made a decision to not take a chance on student-athletes from your state. You can thank your liberal politicians. Best of luck wherever you decide to play.”
Why was Jeffcoat fired? For being a biased a**hole? Or for being stupid enough to put that in writing?

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Trump communications director position has all the job security of managing Yankees under George Steinbrenner.

So this year will there be a bonus round for #MarchMadness – not just teams who will win games, but teams who will be vacating their seasons?

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Cleveland Browns say they are open to offers for their #1 NFL draft pick. Because they figure they’ll probably have another one next year?

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Mike Huckabee essentially booted from #CMAfoundation board because enough people in COUNTRY MUSIC objected to his anti-LGBT views. Soon only live musical entertainment at future GOP events will be karaoke.

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Today is #WorldBookDay. Waiting for the GOP rebuttal.

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Florida lawmakers approve $67 million in funding to arm teachers. How much put aside for the inevitable lawsuits when something goes wrong?

So when we arm teachers, what happens when they get sick? They leave weapons in a drawer for the substitutes? #Whatcouldpossiblygowrong?

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Since President Xi Jinping has been compared to the cartoon bear, China is censoring Winnie the Pooh on social media. Uh oh, let’s hope Trump doesn’t order the US to censor Cheetos.

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Kentucky Rep. Thomas Massie is introducing a bill to allow 18 year-olds to buy handguns. Today’s GOP, a wholly-owned subsidiary of the NRA.

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So of course Ben Carson had no idea he asked for a $31,000 dining set. Not like shopping is brain surgery.

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Now that Scott Pruitt isn’t going to fly first class any more maybe he can use money he’s saving to buy a very nice slightly used table from Ben Carson?

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Melania Trump apparently got her green card while she was dating Donald w/ special “Einstein Visa” visa designated for people w/ “extraordinary ability.” To be fair, she is doing a job most Americans would never do.

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Now it’s McMaster reportedly out. Will the last alligator to leave the Trump White House please turn off the searchlights for the swamp.

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Now Sarah Huckabee Sanders  says Trump has no plans to fire AG Sessions “that I know of.” Translation, he hasn’t found someone he trusts to take Jeff’s place.

Or as my friend Alex B. says  “Translation, he figured out he hired someone who it would piss too many people off to fire.”

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So who else wants to be a fly on the wall when  Omarosa &  Hope Hicks go out for a post-White House drink?