Left Coast Sports Babe

Houston Texans fired first year coach Lovie Smith Sunday night hours after the team beat the Indianapolis Colts today to finish 3-13-1.

Did Houston fire Smith because a loss would have given the Texans the #1 draft pick instead of #2 because the Chicago Bears also lost.

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The Detroit Lions were eliminated this afternoon from the playoffss when the Seattle Seahawks won. But the Lions get the consolation prize of the gratitude of millions of Americans for winning and keeping Aaron Rodgers out of the playoffs.

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How do you lose a game when the opposing QB is 5-15 for 43 years and 2 interceptions? A 2.8 passing rating. No joke. Well, if there’s a silver lining for Saints fans, after today it should be easier to fire Dennis Allen

But yeah, this Saints game is a good microcosm of a bad season.

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It’s January 8, and we’re almost halfway through an 82 game NBA season that will eliminate 10 of 30 teams from postseason play. Why doesn’t NBA just call those 82 games the world’s longest preseason and be done with it?

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Not sure Chuck Schumer’s reasoning for keeping Senate out of legislative session until Jan 23. But last week the Senate accomplished as much as the House did anyway.

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After Hakeem Jeffries brilliantly schooled Kevin McCarthy and the GOP, how long until Fox News tries to convince viewers there’s something subversive about “alliterative” speech?

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Velveeta Voldemort is taking credit for Kevin McCarthy’s being elected speaker, while complaining about “the Speaker selection process, as crazy as it may seem..” Tr*mp thinks anything involving an actual election with votes being counted is “crazy.”

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In the United Kingdom they had a challenge as to whether a head of lettuce could outlast Prime Minister Liz Truss. The lettuce won. What should the challenge for Kevin McCarthy be? Can he outlast a carton of milk?

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Oscar Mayer is looking to hire 12 drivers for year-long gigs to drive their Wienermobiles. Actually, “Wienermobile” might be a good name for whoever now drives Kevin McCarthy around in Washington.

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The identity of the 6 year old who shot his teacher is being withheld because he’s a minor. But why do I have a feeling if he were an immigrant or child of color, Fox and other right wing media would be all over it.

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And why haven’t the kid’s parents been arrested yet?

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Amazing. GOP during the campaign was nonstop about the economy and the border. Now that McCarthy has a (tenuous) hold on the gavel, Republicans claim Americans elected them to investigate the Biden family??!

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Went to try a Kevin McCarthy cocktail, but every time I tried to order it somebody objected.

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From my funny friend Marc Ragovin “The good news for Kevin McCarthy: He was finally elected House Speaker The bad news: He must now do Matt Gaetz’s girlfriend’s homework for the next year.”

As a frustrated SF Giants fan thinking if Giants have lost Carlos Correa at this point, would at least be amusing if things fall apart for him and Scott Boras with NY Mets too… and Correa ends up back with Minnesota Twins.

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Kevin McCarthy has just taken the early lead from Tom Brady and the NFC South Champions Tampa Bay Buccaneers as “ugliest win of 2023”

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In case anyone was wondering, Nancy Pelosi needed only one ballot for her Democratic colleagues to elect her as Speaker of the House.

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So how many Scaramuccis do we think Kevin McCarthy’s Speakership will last?

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Kevin McCarthy says at 2:10am January 7, “I do want to especially thank President Trump.” And there Kevin flushes the last shred on the toilet roll of his dignity away.

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A six year old child today in Virginia shot and critically injured his teacher. Apparently deliberately.

Waiting for NRA to say “If only there were a good six year old with a gun to stop a bad six year old with a gun.”

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Pretty sure Nancy Pelosi denied any requests for television interviews tonight: She knows it’s unbecoming for a former Speaker of the House to be shown laughing hysterically.

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GOP pretends Joe Biden saying July 6th instead of January 6th is sign of age.

Jake Tapper. “Joe Biden may be experiencing an ailment not entirely unknown to him: foot in mouth disease.” Quote is from JANUARY 31, 2007. Better to have trouble w/ words than trouble w/ democracy.

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If someone who votes for a House Speaker ends up removed from Congress due to a criminal conviction does his or her vote still count? Asking for a democracy.

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Finally, two years after Jan 6 (and 7) since the vote was concluded in the wee hours, the Senate Rules Committee chair & ranking member are Senate “tellers” for electoral votes.

Chair then was Roy Blunt, who has had great working relationship w/ Amy Klobuchar. Together they finished job at 4am. Imagine if chair had been Rules member Ted Cruz.

#Smallmercies

So what’s going to happen first?

Carlos Correa finally signs for 2023?

Or the House finally gets a Speaker?

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In the NBA if you can’t get the ball inbounded in 5 seconds, you lose possession. At some point shouldn’t GOP lose possession and have to turn the House over to Democrats?

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Jim Harbaugh indicated this week he expected to be coaching at Michigan in 2023

Tonight it comes out NCAA is investigating Harbaugh for serious allegation during COVID recruiting dead period and more serious charge of for possibly misleading investigators.

Of course, “at Michigan” could have meant Harbaugh expects to be coach a team that might have a road trip to play the Detroit Lions.

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Washington bars are thinking of offering a “Speaker of the House” cocktail. Problem is, no one can decide what to put in it.

Marjorie Three Names tells CNN “Americans are tired of drama.” And she says it with a straight face.

As John James nominates Kevin McCarthy & Dan Bishop nominates Byron Donalds, GOP factions each are actually trying to claim they are the best on supporting Black people and civil rights. You cannot make this “stuff” up.

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Is there a 25th Amendment that applies to Congress?

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Hakeem Jeffries has now been the leading vote getter in 11 votes for House Speaker! In most elections, a plurality is sufficient. Shouldn’t Jeffries be Speaker?

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While Kevin McCarthy waits for yet another vote that he will lose, maybe he should read a novel by Mary Shelley?

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Part of the problem with media and politics right now: SF Chronicle, front page headline “GOP still can’t agree on McCarthy.” Page 9 headline at bottom of page. “Biden highlights unity amid GOP’s disarray.”

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GOP representative Kat Cammack on her accusation that Democrats were drinking alcohol during the House Speaker vote, “If it wasn’t true, why did they get so offended?” Can someone ask Kat why Velveeta Voldemort gets so offended when he’s accused of being a rapist?

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Think Chuck Schumer should bring Senate back to Washington DC NOW and start passing legislation on things Americans actually care about to highlight just how much this dysfunction in the House is hurting our country.

Texas A & M’s men’s basketball team started the game today with a technical foul for delay of game after a team manager left their jerseys at a Gainesville hotel and the game’s start was postponed a few minutes. (The Aggies ended up winning 66-63)

Guess at college level you can’t play “Shirts vs skins?”

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The GOP Speaker circus continues. Normally when something that seems like a done deal ends up going on this long, Scott Boras is involved.

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Meanwhile, on a positive note, Joe Biden appeared today with Mitch McConnell, GOP Ohio Governor Mike DeWine, Ohio Democratic Senator Sherrod Brown, and Democratic Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear, touting repairs that will actually begin on the Brent Spence Bridge.

The bridge, one of the busiest in the country, has been a problem for years. But partisan gridlock meant Obama wasn’t able to get funding done. So this was hailed as a “leglislative miracle.”

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Southwest is justifiably getting headlines for stupid technology.

But a moment for United Airlines: Canceled a reservation for my client as a duplicate to India.

Because there was another “Patel” on the flight. (To save you Google time, there are over 4 MILLION Patels in India.)

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Few buyers would be stupid enough to hire a moving van to take their stuff to a new home before they closed on the sale. And yet Kevin McCarthy moved his stuff into the Speaker’s office before House voted. Stupidity? Hubris? Or both?

D*mn shame the House Speaker election doesn’t function like most US elections. Because Hakeem Jeffries has received the most votes six times.

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Kat Cammack lies and accuses Democrats of drinking alcohol on the House Floor. Meanwhile way too many Republicans have drunk the MAGA Kool-Aid.

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As House prepares for a fourth vote on Speaker, at this point even if Kevin McCarthy wins, he’s made so many concessions he’ll be basically wielding a Nerf gavel.

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One of many concessions McCarthy has made, and he hasn’t won the gavel yet, is that five members can call for a change in the Speaker.

A lettuce outlasted UK Prime Minister Liz Truss. Looking good for a lettuce challenge against Kevin McCarthy.

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Has it occurred to Republicans that every day this GOP circus keeps going is one day potentially closer to them losing a seat if George Santos gets arrested?

WTAF? Fox News: “50 conservative heavyweights co-signed statement Wed applauding House members who voted against McCarthy & calling for Kevin to drop out.” One signer – Ginni Thomas. GOP lost their collective sh*t when they thought wrongly Sotomayor had dinner w/ Dem leaders.

UCLA had a 14 point lead on Pitt in 3rd quarter in the Sun Bowl. USC had a 15 point lead on Tulane late 4th quarter in the Cotton Bowl.

Both USC and UCLA are leaving the Pac 12. Looking like mean bitch karma might be a fan of traditional conference football

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To anyone who turned off the Cotton Bowl in the 4th quarter. You just made your first big sports fan mistake of 2023.

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Tulane fans just learning what I heard long ago as a Stanford freshman – Trojans pop under Pressure. #CottonBowl

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Carlos Correa and Scott Boras have now spent a higher number of days negotiating with the Mets than they were willing to give the SF Giants in a number HOURS after a questionable physical.

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Suppose it would be tacky for Nancy Pelosi to gift Kevin McCarthy an abacus?

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So if GOP can’t get it together can we just keep Nancy Pelosi in charge until they do?

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Nancy Pelosi won all four of her elections as Speaker on the first ballot. Just saying.

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WTF? After today’s swearing in ceremonies, Chuck Schumer decided Senate won’t have their first legislative session until January 23?

Well, maybe by then the House will have chosen a Speaker.

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New F.D.A. rules will allow medication abortion drugs to be dispensed by any pharmacy to a woman with a prescription from a certified health care provider, in person at the pharmacy & by mail order. Makes sense, abortion pills should be at least as easy to obtain as Viagra.

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GOP Rep. Michael McCaul says adjournment today was like a “time out” for a “family meeting.” The message is “Hey kids, let’s all get together on this and stop fighting each other.” More like screaming at the kids and threatening to pull over and turn the car around.

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Reports increasingly are that many in Republican House voting against Kevin McCarthy say they don’t want him but can’t articulate what they DO want. Time to start calling them the G-NO-P?

Postponing football jokes until tomorrow out of respect for Damar Hamlin, currently in critical condition at University of Cincinnati Medical Center after suffering cardiac arrest after what looked like a routine hit during a Bills-Bengals Monday Night Football game.

But here’s the GoFundMe he set up last month for a daycare center in his hometown. The donations have LONG passed enough to get the toys he was hoping the fundraiser would pay for… though am sure a lot of good can be done for needy children now with the money.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/mxksc-the-chasing-ms-foundation-community-toy-drive

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Apparently some anti-vaxxers are trying to blame his Hamlin’s injury on a COVID vaccine?

The honest response I have to those people would probably get me banned from most social media.

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So back to politics.

Story today in NY Times that Brazilian authorities intend to revive fraud charges against George Santos over a 2008 case regarding stolen checkbook had been suspended as police were unable to locate Santos…

Andrew Tate was arrested over a pizza box. Will George Santos be arrested over being elected to Congress?

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Have to wonder, how many of the trolls on Twitter who want President Biden to release his tax returns know he’s already released 22 years of them. Many of these folks aren’t stupid. They just think we are.

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As the GOP House Speaker saga continues, Nancy Pelosi has made no public statement on the trials and tribulations of Kevin McCarthy. But she might be forgiven for giggling…

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Per Washingon Post, Kevin McCarthy, still trying to get votes for Speaker, “stressed the need for the conference to unite around a proposed rules package that will dictate how the House governs over the next two years.” Uh, does anyone think GOP actually plans to govern, period?

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Fox News Contributor David Bossie wrote op-ed saying “House Republicans need to display competency in governing & listen to the American people.” So he thinks American people are telling GOP they should fight over choosing speaker & obsess over Hunter Biden’s laptop? OK then.

So did Ohio State and Michigan play a video game for third place today and call it the Hangover Bowl?

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Before San Antonio played Dallas on New Year’s Eve, with super star Luka Doncic,, Gregg Popovich told media “50 is going to be our goal. We’re holding Luka to under 50!”

Doncic scored 51 and the Mavericks beat the Spurs by ONE point….

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When did it become a rule that the team playing against Tom Brady has to forget how to play offense and defense late in the 4th quarter?

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Finally done with all those emailed end of year fundraising requests. Today begins the “let’s get 2023 fundraising off to a good start” requests.

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Some people seem less upset by Chris Licht turning CNN into Fox Light than his decision to keep Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper sober on New Year’s Eve.

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Watching Love Actually for umpteenth time on an airline flight, and while I know of course all films have to be made PG-13 for planes, just realized, they cut the wonderful Judy and Jack (body doubles) subplot COMPLETELY. That’s maybe the best romance in the film.

Happy New Year. President Biden signed $1.7 trillion omnibus spending bill in St Croix last Thursday, after bill was flown down on a Spirit Airlines flight. Great of Joe to save taxpayers money. But thank goodness he wasn’t vacationing in destination only served by Southwest.

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Since “Red wave” is trending time to remind women that this anticipated midterm wasn’t even enough of red wave to need a junior Tampax.

Prediction for 2023. George Santos will have the full and complete support of the GOP unless he says the 2020 election wasn’t stolen.

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Imagine if Joe Biden had so much as a few hundred dollars in an Irish bank account he inherited from a relative. Why the fact revealed in Velveeta Voldemort’s tax returns that he had foreign bank accounts in about a dozen countries a bigger story?

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If we didn’t already know Amy Klobuchar was the Senator most willing to work with anyone, anytime, to promote Democratic goals, on New Year’s Day morning she agreed to to come on Meet the Press with Chuck Todd. Shouldn’t there be a medal for that?

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We now know tiny local paper WAS covering George Santos lies. Meanwhile, Amy Klobuchar on Meet the Press confirms Journalism Competition & Preservation Act was set to pass in Dec, until Meta & Google made few calls…. We need papers we have to survive, to keep both sides honest.