Archive for November 2009

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Amateur football, college and otherwise…..

November 10, 2009

In their loss to the Tennessee Titans Sunday, the San Francisco 49ers committed four turnovers. Four turnovers??! About the only thing that didn’t get dropped was Mike Singletary’s pants.

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The University of Oregon has reinstated running back LeGarrette Blount, who punched a Boise State player, and was originally suspended for the season..

Blount’s first game back with the Ducks will be Saturday against Arizona State. Apparently there were several factors involved in the decision, including Blount’s apology, his recent good behavior, and just possibly, Oregon’s loss to Stanford.

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University of Michigan football coach Rich Rodriguez makes about $2.5 million a year. Unversity of Michigan president Mary Sue Coleman makes about half a million a year. And the worst disparity…this year the University’s academic programs are still nationally ranked.

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Today’s BCS standings: Oregon at #16 after they lost 51-42 to Stanford, USC at 10 after they beat ASU 14-9. Both teams with two losses. Shame there aren’t any head to head matchup numbers… Oh wait, the Ducks beat the Trojans 47-20. And we wonder why the U.S. has a bad reputation with math.

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Young people have a limited sense of history these days. For example upon hearing that it was the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, many San Francisco area teenagers asked “Did Berlin use CalTrans to do their work too?”

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commie pinko alert.

Joe Lieberman is so against a “public option” that he may filibuster the healthcare bill. If he feels so strongly about it why doesn’t he take a principled stand and renounce his OWN government healthcare? And then buy a competitive plan for himself and his family from the private sector….

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It’s November, isn’t there a baseball game somewhere?

November 9, 2009

The U.S. Northwest has been hit by a major early snow storm this week. Or as Bud Selig calls it “Baseball weather.”

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Now that the New York Yankees have won a World Championship they intend to stay on top but have promised some responsibility in their free agent off-season signings. Which means they intend to keep their payroll under $300,000,000.

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For those who are still complaining about the weather with the World Series, pitchers and catchers report to spring training in less than 100 days, in mid-February. Of course none of those games are played further north than Arizona.

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Breckenridge, Colorado, has voted to legalize marijuana for adults 21 and over. Which gives San Franciso a few years to follow suit so they don’t lose Tim Lincecum as a free agent to the Rockies.
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What a couple weeks for the Green Bay Packers. First they lose to the oldest quarterback in the NFL, Brett Favre, then they lose to the youngest quarterback, Josh Freeman. Didn’t we already see this nightmare with the ghosts of Christmas Past and Christmas Future…. ?

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Stanford football is back in the the AP top 25 for the first time in eight years. But they are guaranteed not to stay in that place next week. Because they play USC. Who is ranked number 11. Which means either they score a huge upset, and jump up. Or lose and fall out of the rankings. But isn’t a number 25 team supposed to lose to a number 11 team. For that matter, a number 12 team is supposed to lose to a number 11 team. And they wonder why fans don’t trust the polls and the BCS system…

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For that matter, I generally don’t believe in conspiracies because it’s hard for even two people to keep a secret. Besides, with the rumored SEC referee conspiracy what would be the point? Helping a conference team stay undefeated and get into the championship game or at least a BCS bowl? The payout for those games, which gets shared with other conference teams, is only about $18 million. Oops…. Never mind.

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So the healthcare bill passed the House with one Republican vote. Which means calling it bi-partisan is like calling the Detroit Lions a winning team.

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Rachel Christie, Miss England, has had to give up her crown after a drunken bar fight with Miss Manchester. She is, however, entertaining offers to become either Miss Country Western Music or Miss World Cup.

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from the very funny Jim Barach…

President Clinton says he wishes there weren’t term limits on the presidency and that he would have preferred to be taken from the White House in a coffin. He forgets how close Hillary was to granting him that request.

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Seeing Eye Conference…

November 8, 2009

Once again, a SEC officials blew a call in a high profile football game. And once again, that blown call went in favor of an undefeated team. In this case Alabama, who beat LSU 25-14. (The call in question. an LSU cornerback who lost an interception when he was incorrectly ruled out of bounds.) In other conferences, some are speculating that it’s part of a SEC plot to make sure one of their teams stays undefeated, and thus can play in the Championship game.

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Besides “Seeing Eye Conference,’, other potential new names…

Severely Egregious Calls?

Seemingly Endless Conspiracies.

Simply Expecting Championships.

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But to be fair, the SEC is taking action. Coaches who complain about the officiating are now being fined

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Meanwhile, Stanford upset number 8 Oregon, 51 to 42. Thanks to Coach Harbaugh’s “hold them to six touchdowns” strategy.

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Meanwhile in Cincinnati, the undefeated Bearcats beat Connecticut 47-45. And sophomore backup quarterback Zach Collaros threw for 480 yards. Yes, 480. To put that in perspective, Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell has thrown for 1000 yards. For the year.

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Joseph Cao, a freshman Republican from New Orleans, was the only congressman to cross party lines and vote for the health care bill. It might be the first time in recent memory where a Louisiana politician made headlines, without the police or a sex scandal being involved.

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A post World Series thought from Bill Littlejohn about A-Rod’s paintings of himself hanging above his bed; guess he wants to be sure he is always the centaur of attention.

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Headline? Giants avoid high anxiety with Lincecum.

November 7, 2009

Good news for San Francisco fans. Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum will apparently not be disciplined by Major League Baseball for his marijuana arrest.

He pled guilty to possession of drug paraphenalia, without admitted he actually used the pipe. Which actually makes sense, possession not proving use. The SF Giants lineup in 2009 all were given a full supply of bats.

And as to those who say he was driving impaired… Let’s see, he was doing 74 in a 60mph zone. If he were really stoned, he would have been driving 15 mph. With one hand in a bag of Doritos.

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One thing you won’t probably hear in from Lincecum in an interview in future – “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

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Presumably Lincecum will be a little more careful or at least discreet in future. Wonder if his mound music will be “Last Dance with Mary Jane.”

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Today Manny Ramirez chose not to become a free agent and exercised his $20 million option with the Dodgers for 2010. As if that’s a surprise. Even the Yankees said “No thanks, we won’t waste the money.”

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Paying Manny Ramirez $20 millions after a year where he missed 50 games with a drug suspension, and performed mediocrely during the rest of the season and the postseason…. That’s got to be the most irritating money Dodgers owner Frank McCourt will pay ever out…well, until his divorce settlement.

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Republicans are criticizing President Obama’s decision not to attend the commemoration of the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall in Germany. And Newt Gingrich went so far as to say, “Some consider it an outrage, I consider it a tragedy.”

As opposed to the outrage and tragedy Gringrich would have said it was to jet off to Europe for a ceremony while the healthcare debate rages on and unemployment topped 10 percent.

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President Obama talked about his daughter Melia in a recent speech on education, and cited one of her test scores of 73. And George W. Bush called his father and said “When you were president why didn’t you ever brag about me like that?”

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A South Korean woman finally passed the written exam for a driver’s license on her 950th time. And millions of people around the world had the same reaction, “please don’t let her move to my street.”

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This last almost completely written by Marc Ragovin. Completely tacky. Wish I had first thought of the concept.

This World Series celebration did nothing to tone down A-Rod’s ego -now he really thinks of himself as a American hero. Especially since like Captain Sully, he finished the day in the Hudson.

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Baseball…beyond the World Series.

November 6, 2009

With the Yankees winning in six games, the World Series was finally completed November 5. The good news for Cubs’ fans. It’s less time to wait until “next year.”

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Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum was apparently caught smoking marijuana. This is the most shocking news since Adam Lambert announced he was gay.

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Does the arrest make Lincecum the acknowledged master of the high strike?

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Joe Giraldi wore number 27 as Yankees manager because he made it a goal to win the team’s 27th championship. This doesn’t always work out so easily. But it explains why Leo Durocher managing the Cubs always wore number 2.

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Yankees fans will tell you that the team won not because of money, but because of good management, team chemistry, hard work….. Yes, and the 65 year old men sitting in the box seats with 25 year old women will tell you the gals are with them because of their sparkling personalities.

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The Yankees’ victory parade will be November 13. Moving Bud Selig just a little closer to his goal of combining it with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

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They expect record crowds to line the streets, mostly because most New Yorkers no longer have jobs to go to as an alternative.

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At least the parade will be free, which means it will also be the first chance most New Yorkers will have this year to see the team in person.

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Sometimes no punchline will do a story justice. The following is an AP story reported at sfgate.com link included to show I am not making it up.

An Ohio man dressed as a Breathalyzer test for Halloween found himself blowing into one after police stopped him for allegedly driving the wrong way without headlights on a one-way street. Oxford police said they stopped 20-year-old James P. Miller on Halloween night and found beer in his front seat and in the trunk.

Police said Miller blew 0.158 percent on a Breathalyzer test. He was cited on charges including operating a vehicle while intoxicated, underage possession of alcohol, having an open container and a fake ID, and a one-way street violation.

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As she kicked off her Senate campaign, Carly Fiorina criticized Washington by saying ‘What is it they are doing with all our money?” Funny, that’s the same thing shareholders said when she was in charge of HP.

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World Series question of the night..

November 5, 2009

“The New York Yankees, you’ve just won the World Series, what are you going to do now?”
“We’re going to buy Disneyland.”

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By the way, for all Yankees fans gloating about their well-managed and well designed team, a few stats:

Counting their 11 post season wins, the Yankees won 114 games. With a payroll of $208 million.

The Minnesota Twins won 87 games with a payroll of $67 million.

Heck, if we’re talking value the Pittsburgh Pirates won 62 games with a payroll of $25 million.

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And nothing against Hidecki Matsui, who is a great hitter. But it doesn’t dispel a team’s mercenary image with hardcore baseball fans when your World Series MVP is a $13 million a year pure DH (Designated Hitter) who in his seventh year with the team still doesn’t even speak English.

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L.A. pitcher Vincente Padilla apparently had a hunting accident and shot himself in the leg. As opposed that big bucks two-year deal for Manny Ramirez, which was the Dodgers shooting themselves in the foot..

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This inspired by Paul Seaburn who noted that “police in Tamarac, Florida, are looking for a man who has robbed the same bank four times in the past year”

The only folks who rob a bank that regularly are usually that bank’s executives

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The new Dallas Football Classic Bowl game, which will replace the Cotton Bowl, will kickoff on New Year’s Day 2011. The inaugural game, which will probably remain one of the first of the day, will feature the seventh-place team from the Big 12 against the sixth-placed team from the Big Ten. Seventh-place vs. sixth place – now there’s a reason to get up early with a hangover.

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Carly Fioriana just announced her campaign for the Senate in California. Which is great news. For Barbara Boxer.

Of course she’s about innovation. And in her speech promised “No new taxes.” Now there’s a fresh idea. And nothing could go wrong there.

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Sarah Palin campaigned hard for Conservative candidate Doug Hoffman in the heavily Republican 23rd Congressional district in New York. And she has since received countless invitations to campaign in 2010 for more Republicans. From Democrats.

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Note to frustrated sports fans everywhere. It could be worse. You could be a Maple Leafs fan. (If you are a Maple Leafs fan, skip this one.)

Their record through 13 games – 1-7-5. Thats one win, seven regular losses, and five additional overtime losses.

And commie pinko alert.

Following the defeat of a law allowing gay marriage in Maine. Maybe we’re going about this the wrong way. Maybe the way to pass gay marriage is to say “Why should gay couples get a free ride, they can declare as partners without the legal hassles, tax penalties, possible divorce issues, that hetrosexual couples face. Let’s REQUIRE that they get married for partner benefits.”

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Bye weeks.. ….

November 4, 2009

Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder was actually cheered Monday. It was at an event for the Redskins’ charitable foundation that helps renovate high school fields, which was attended by students and parents. Finally, a group that appreciates the Redskins’ level of football.

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The Oakland Raiders have a bye week. Finally some good news for their fans.

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It’s the first week of the season where JaMarcus Russell can safely predict he won’t throw a single interception.

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The Oakland Raiders fired Lane Kiffin last year during their bye week. Now during their 2009 bye, coach Tom Cable is on the hot seat following more assault allegations. If Oakland fires him in the next few days we may have to start referring to it as a “Bye Bye Week.”

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Jon Gosselin says now of his bad recent public behavior that he “lost his moral compass.” Surprising many Americans who didn’t realize he had one.

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Not to say that the Phillies bullpen has been shaky in the last three games of the World Series. But they’ve collectively been named honorary Mets.

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David Beckham will now still play part-time for the L.A Galaxy, and but be “loaned” part-time to AC Milan. All so he can win a World Cup Championship with England. Interesting concept, if it works, whatever happens in the Series, the Yankees may be interested in a 2010 part-time loan for Chase Utley.

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Kobe Bryant played tonight for the Lakers against the Thunder despite flu like symptoms. Apparently neither team was worried about H1N1 – figuring, it’s Kobe, he never passes on anything.

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All the talk about “referendums” with these elections this week in Virginia, New Jersey and New York. Yes, I suppose they could be taken as referendums on President Obama or Sarah Palin. They also could be considered voters making a simple choice as to which candidate they disliked the least.

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Between Halloween and the Day of the Dead

November 3, 2009

Yesterday, November 1, was the “Day of the Dead.” (a big holiday in Mexico.) But here in the U.S. the day was celebrated by giving the Buccaneers and the Redskins the day off.

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President Obama personally helped pass out candy at the White House on Halloween. The Republican headline – “Obama actions lead to childhood obesity.”

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How could you tell the Republican parents who brought their kids to the White House? They had masks on too….it was the only way they could go out in public to accept a government handout.

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After dodging an indictment for allegedly breaking an assistant coach’s jaw, Raiders coach Tom Cable is now being accused of having hit both his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend. Poor Oakland, first the Bay Bridge, now another big problem with a Cable snapping.

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The Wall Street Journal editorialized that the current healthcare legislation is “the worst bill ever.” A title they previously conferred on President Clinton.

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Walmart is now selling coffins. No word as to whether the display is next to the gun aisle or the candy and snack food department.

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The coffins are an interesting choice giving the store’s slogan. “Save money, Live better.”

Does this mean their new slogan will be “Save money, Die better too?” – or “Save Money, even if you don’t live?” Or more likely “Save money, and now your heirs live better.”

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Apparently President Obama has now urged Afghan President Hamid Karzai “to write a new chapter” in his government’s legitimacy. Uh, wouldn’t that be the first such chapter?

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A few thoughts from both sides of the pond…

November 1, 2009

An actual quote as reported in London’s Sunday Telegraph from an Iranian pilot, when a Iran Air plane was returning to Tehran due to mechanical issues. (The plane did make it and landed safely)

“The plane is facing a technical problem and has to return. So please pray,”

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Where are the Brits when we need them for comments on Amiercan pop culture? (Paris Hilton, the Kardashian sisters, just for starters). British novelist Martin Amis on British glamorous model/personaliity, Jordan (who now wants to be known as Katie Price ” She has no waist, no arse (ass) an interesting face, but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone.

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And last week London played host to the New England Patriots and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Now they’re back to a normal state of affairs, ie, no professional NFL team in town. Sort of like Detroit.
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World Series television ratings are the highest they have been in years. Makes sense, millions of Yankees fans all over the country and only a few hundred who can actually afford to see a game in person.

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House minority leader John Boehner said Republicans have the answers to lower health costs and expanded coverage. If they have the answers, why did they ignore the question when they controlled the Presidency and both houses of Congress?

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David Plouffe said on “Meet the Press” that Democrats should thank John McCain for picking Sarah Palin. Oh, they do. Just not half as much as wannabe comedy writers.

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Entertainment Weekly ran a list of the 20 scariest movies of all time. Just in time for Halloween. And for any Redskins or Buccaneers fans who were missing watching game highlights because both teams had bye-weeks.

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Nothing against Brett Favre’s performance back at Lambeau Field against his old team. But looking at the Vikings’ and Packers’ respective lineups, especially on defense, and, well, had Favre stayed in Green Bay and Rodgers been drafted by Minnesota… the final score might not have been much different.

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