Posted tagged ‘McRib jokes’

Fair trade?

October 18, 2014

The Seahawks are going to trade WR Percy Harvin to the NY Jets. Seattle will apparently receive a conditional draft pick in 2015. Harvin will receive the month of January off.

Apparently the James Spence Authentication company, has authenticated more than 2,000 signatures from FSU QB Jameis Winston. Hey, maybe the guy’s majoring in penmanship?

25 years ago October 17 was the Loma Prieta Earthquake. At section 21 at Candlestick Park I must confess, my first thought was “Bleeping A’s fans doing the wave.”

So now a Carnival Cruise ship has been forbidden to dock in Belize because a passenger on board helped care for the Ebola patient in Dallas. Well, and if vomiting is a symptom of the disease no chance of any of that on a “Fun Ship…”

 

Who says the ‪#‎NYJets‬ can’t be first in anything this year? The NY Post reports “According to the Elias Sports Bureau, the Jets are the first team in NFL history to lose a game with 40 minutes of time of possession (40:54), 200 rushing yards (218) and no turnovers.”

A Texan tourist was accidentally locked in a London bookstore for three hours when he walked in late and didn’t notice that the Waterstones store was closing. And all over Texas people are going “see, books are dangerous!”

 

A Michigan funeral home has started a new “drive-through” viewing service, so people don’t have to get out of their cars to pay their last respects. And if they text while they are driving through do potential customers get future discounts?

No baseball for next four days. :(. Might have to just keep rewatching win from last night.

Retired FSU coach Bobby Bowden just said that Jameis Winston “does things that kids in grammar school would do.” And plenty of parents are thinking “Hey, our grammar school kids behave better than that.”

 

All this fear mongering over a major health hazard facing about to hit the USA just might be overblown. And besides, the McDonald’s McRib will only be rolled out regionally.

Despite an expected legal challenge from the NFL, Gov. Chris Christie signed a bill that allows sports betting at casinos and racetracks in New Jersey. Guess the league thinks if fans want to throw away money they should go to Jets and Giants games.

 

Apparently almost 60 percent of the almost 1 million early votes cast in this year’s midterm elections are in Florida. Well, duh, and how many of them were cast early enough in the day for voters to make it to those early bird specials?

 

Heard on a train to San Francisco with 20 somethings discussing reading. “On paper? You mean like a book form?”.

 

 

 

From Bill Littlejohn: “According to a CNN.com report, you can now rent a virtual girlfriend in China for about $3. ‘Now they tell me,’ said Manti T’eo.”

World semi-Serious.

October 25, 2011

One nice thing about baseball, each day is completely different. The Cardinals scored 16 runs against Texas Saturday, then got shut out Sunday. And game five was close until the eighth. Whereas the Colts could play the Saints every week this year and Indianapolis would probably not come within four touchdowns.

A two part joke written with my friend Jerry Perisho, his part first:

“Don’t worry NBA fans, you can still see your team’s dancers perform; just bring plenty of $1 bills.”

Mine: But go early to see the Heat cheerleaders, I hear they quit before the night is over.

Newt Gingrich criticized Mitt Romney and Rick Perry at the last debate saying: “I literally felt like I was the recess monitor on the playground, watching these two kids.” Prompting an immediate demand for an apology, from schoolchildren.

McDonald’s is bringing back the McRib nationwide through November 14. Now, leaving all the McHeart Attack jokes aside. some complain they shouldn’t call it a “McRib,” when the sandwich has no bones. On the other hand, they do call them “ham” burgers.

Paul Leka, 68, who wrote the chorus of “Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye),” reportedly died October 12. Well, I guess we all know what they sang at his funeral..


NCAA president Mark Emmert said he is supporting a plan to allow student athletes to receive $2,000 a year beyond their scholarships. (The usual scholarships just cover tuition, fees, books, room and board.) While the idea is popular with many athletes, some football players say they don’t know if they can afford the pay cut.

Oregon’s star CB Cliff Harris was already cited for driving 118 mph on a suspended license in June and joking to an officer who smelled marijuana that “we smoked it all. Today he was cited again for several infractions, including driving on a suspended license and driving without insurance. Maybe it’s true what they say about pot affecting your memory.

You have to wonder, aren’t there any taxis in Eugene? Or fans who could drive a football star around campus?


And Harris has been suspended, again, from the football team. Meaning he cannot participate even in practices and will miss at least Saturday’s game. Over-under on him being conditionally reinstated November 11? (As November 12 is the Ducks’ game with Stanford.)

Fun sidelight of watching the World Series – the realization with the Mavericks and Rangers that the Dallas Cowboys are at best the third best professional team in Dallas.

Theo Epstein visited Wrigley Field for the first time as GM this morning. His first project? Presumably to find and take down that sign that says “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.”

Watching the stories and gory videos coming out of Libya, must say one thing for the United States. Even allowing for Florida we do have a much more civilized transfer of power.

Michele Bachmann has said that the gay and lesbian lifestyle amounts to “personal bondage, and personal enslavement.” Her husband Marcus has compared gays to “barbarians” who need to be “disciplined.” You do get the sense both of them have spent too much time in leather shops South of Market in SF