Posted tagged ‘NY Yankees jokes’

Didn’t see it coming.

February 7, 2015

After a disappointing season, the Tennessee Titans released OT Michael Oher. Hope he wasn’t blindsided by the news.

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Aaron Hernandez’s lawyer in his murder trial was jokingly asked a state police trooper if he had “training in football deflation devices.” Sounds like the former Patriot actually found a lawyer as dumb as he is.

 

The NFL fined 4 players from $8268 to $10,000 for their roles in the brawl at the end of the Super Bowl. Good to see the league has its priorities in order. Hitting people is almost as bad as wearing the wrong brand of clothing.

NY Yankees officials says they have now agreed to a sit-down meeting with A-Rod. Ah yes, an early sign that spring is approaching. The circus is coming to town.

For all those who think they might be the most insane baseball fans they know, San Francisco has finally gotten their first storm of 2015. Serious rain and wind. But some hardcore folks are already camping outside AT&T Park for tomorrow morning’s SF Giants “FanFest.”

 

Open note to Chris Paul, who has always seemed like an enlightened and decent guy, and I am sure didn’t meant to start a firestorm by criticizing one of the two NBA’s female refs: (“We try to get the ball out fast every time down the court, and when we did that, she said, ‘Uh-uh.’ I said, ‘Why, uh-uh?’ And she gave me a tech. That’s ridiculous. If that’s the case, this might not be for her.” )

It’s time for a simple statement, “I was criticizing an official because I didn’t like the calls. I thought and think they were wrong. It had NOTHING to do with her gender. I fully support the NBA’s hiring of female officials. Now let’s move on.”

 

 

 

In Northern California television news stations have put their drought stories on hold for a few days to be replaced by “Stormwatch.”

 

Occasional disclaimer. If you’ve found my blog because of the sports jokes,   I do jokes about both sports and politics. And I realize that half the country won’t agree with my views.  Though I like to consider myself a moderate, and try to pick on both sides, even  if I pick on one side more than others….  (more material)  In any case, if  you don’t like the political jokes, please feel free to ignore. Or comment. Even criticize n comments.. Just please keep it civil.

 

Former Miss. GOP state Sen Tim Johnson announced yesterday he is switching parties. “Why join the Democratic Party and run for lieutenant governor? I’ll tell you: We are all Mississippians first. Elected officials should be in the business of helping all Mississippians, not picking out who to hurt.

“The Republican Party leaders’ actions against supporting Medicaid expansion and threatening our local hospitals was the final, deciding factor for me.”

This is Mississippi, folks. Will Johnson’s campaign mascot be a flying pig?.

Note to GOP men: On the subject of rape, STFU.

Horrible indeed. After being made to watch his friends burned alive, he recanted his religion in writing. When he later felt ashamed, and publicly denied the conversion, he was himself publicly burned alive, but put his right hand, which had written the recantation, first into the flame, saying, “this hand has offended.”

Another Mideast horror story? Nope, Archbishop Thomas Cranmer. And these burnings all done by order of Queen Mary 1 of England, 1555-56

Yankees lose, Yankees lose, theee Yankees lose.

October 18, 2012

Who said money can’t buy happiness? I think a lot of Americans were very happy to see the Yankees’ ALCS performance.

At least the New York Yankees won’t be embarrassed anymore by only partially filling their ballpark this postseason.

So now there’s talk of A-Rod to the Marlins? Will he have an ESPN show to say he’s taking his current lack of talent to South Beach?

From T.C.  “One guy breaks the speed of sound last week plummeting back to earth.   So an entire team does it a week later.”

 

An Air Canada flight arriving into Sydney took a short detour and flew low to find a stranded Australian yacht. Wonder how much a U.S. airline would have billed the Aussies as a service fee for that?

(My father adds that “they flew down to 4000 feet and told the passengers to keep their eyes open as they circle. There was ecstasy among the passengers when they spotted it.  The US airlines would have charged the passengers an entertainment fee.”)

Love it. United Airlines sent me an email suggesting using their website to “find top Los Angeles hotels for your upcoming trip.” Uh, except the trip is down and back the same day.

 

Woo hoo. I am now so important to Mitt Romney he sent me a letter saying “with your gift of at least $5,000 you will be offered a dedicated Romney Victory Staff member who will stand ready to assist you with up-to-the-minute election information.” Cool, wonder if he’ll put me in a binder?

Scary. Honey Boo Boo has endorsed President Obama. Even scarier. With some voters this might help him.

Jerry Sandusky wants a new trial. The only new trial involving this case should be that of his wife.

Google’s stock plunged today after an earnings report they wanted to keep under wraps until after the market closed was released early. “Bummer of a privacy invasion” said absolutely nobody.

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s wife says her husband will not run again if he doesn’t win.   Promise?