Left Coast Sports Babe

RIP Mary Pratt, at 101. Former pitcher the last surviving member of the Rockford Peaches.  And and if there’s anyone left who hasn’t seen “League of their Own,” or if it’s been a while and you have kids who haven’t seen it… a great movie for during stay at home, or any time.

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Trump actually retweeted a few tweets praising Tony Gwynn, on what would have been Mr. Padre’s 60th birthday.  Of course, if Donald really wanted to honor Tony, he might have proposed some new regulations for smokeless tobacco?

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Can anyone imagine if this pandemic had happened ten years ago?  Before it was over  Brett Favre could have retired and unretired 5 times.

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Now 2:00am Sunday morning on East Coast. Positive thought for the night, pretty sure next year on May 9  President Biden will be wishing Dr. Jill Biden  a happy Mother’s Day!

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RIP Little Richard, 87. If you didn’t know who he was, you sure knew who he influenced. Which was basically everyone in rock and roll.

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Here’s a weird and random thought. Had he lived, Elvis would have been two years younger than Little Richard

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Feel badly for all those couples who had to postpone weddings this weekend. But maybe as snow fell in the Northeast, including in Central Park,  any New York bride who planned to wear a sleeveless dress outdoors doesn’t feel quite as disappointed today

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“The Hill” correspondent Reid Wilson pointed out tonight “that three of the four top scientists on the White House’s #COVID19 task force — NIH’s Fauci, CDC’s Redfield, FDA’s Hahn — are now in self quarantine after coming into contact with infected WH staffer. Only State’s Birx not in quarantine.”

So maybe those scarves are good for something?

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Sad thing, if Hillary Clinton were President, and had taken advice of scientists so US would be more like New Zealand or South Korea with this pandemic, MAGAers wouldn’t be praising her, but rather saying her success proved COVID-19 was a hoax.

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The special election for California district 25 is  largely vote-by-mail. Saturday Trump ranted on Twitter  about city of Lancaster opening an  in-person voting place.   Usually Trump rants about vote-by-mail. Almost as if Donald is less concerned with how you vote, than with WHO votes?

By the time Major League Baseball comes back, will anyone remember what the Astros and Red Sox got punished for?

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As theaters begin to reopen in some states, remember, what many of them made most of their money on was not the films themselves, but things like that jumbo shared bucket of popcorn. Oops.

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“Indecent Proposal”- 1993 – rich man offers couple $1 million to save dream home if wife will spend night w/ him. Now it’s “Indecent Proposal 2020” – GOP offers you chance to save democracy IF you risk your life to vote. Time for Senate to vote on Klobuchar-Wyden #VotebyMail bill

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The GOP District Attorney in Georgia who initially refused to prosecute killers of Ahmaud Arbery is up for re-election in November.   There is no Democrat running against her but an independent is trying to gather enough signatures to make the ballot.

If you needed any reminder, state & local elections matter.

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Of course stores can do mail only delivery but still felt sad today seeing bookstores classified as “nonessential.”. Books are essential. Period.

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If one of those amazing and wonderful WWII veterans who Donald Trump possibly exposed to COVID-19 today for a photo-op actually dies of coronavirus, do you think the White House would tell us?

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I try not to personally wish harm on anyone. But you have to admit two people at White House testing positive for COVID-19, a day after “National Prayer Day,” kind of makes you wonder whose prayers God might have been listening to.

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Katie Miller, the wife of Trump’s senior adviser Stephen Miller, has now tested positive for the coronavirus. So researchers will now get a high profile case to study possible inter-species transmission.

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And then, while news outlets understood that Katie Miller had tested positive, but kept it quiet out of concern for her privacy,  Trump just blurted it out at a meeting.

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To be fair, if someone asked Trump if he “violated HIPAA” Donald would almost certainly respond “Whatever she says, I barely knew the woman. And she wouldn’t have been my first choice.”

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You know Trump has been seriously stressed out by two cases of COVID-19 in the West Wing. He forgot to fire someone this week late on a Friday night.

A simple question – if Ivanka Trump’s personal assistant is teleworking then why did she need to be tested?

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If Trump thinks masks aren’t necessary and testing is “overrated,” then why doesn’t he show the American people by example and not have anyone around him masked or tested? Asking for a country.

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Would be funny if not so disgusting. Trump fundraising email. “We want all our top Trump supporters to be protected as states are starting to re-open for business. For next 12 hrs we’re offering 3 FREE face masks w/ any contribution of $20 or more.” No joke. #DoAsISayNotAsIdo

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have been scheduled for  five prime-time games, the NFL’s maximum allowed.  Okay, can anyone, even Bucs fans remember five prime-time games in one season?

-But at least this should dispel any notion that the league treats Sir Brady differently?

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NCAA enforcement staff said Kansas’s men’sbasketball program, including coach Bill Self,  committed “egregious” and “severe” rules violations that “significantly undermine and threaten the NCAA Collegiate Model. The school is charged with five “Level 1” (the worst) violations.

So with March Madness canceled this year will the #1 ranked Jayhawks be the first team to vacate a championship they didn’t even win?

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Baltimore Ravens Earl Thomas’s wife was arrested for pointing a gun at his head after she caught him in a three-way with a woman and Earl’s brother.

Darn, I miss the days when this would have been one of the biggest headlines of the week.

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So since Megyn Kelly has done an interview with Tara Reade anyone got a copy of the schedule of the 25 next interviews she is doing with all Trumps accusers?

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Texas Supreme Court orders the release of Shelley Luther, who’d been sentenced to 7 days in jail for keeping her hair salon open in defiance of a state order. So they’re saying it’s her health and women can make their own choices. Got it.

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I’m so old that I remember when GOP wanted to remove an Attorney General from office just for having a private conversation with a former president in her plane on the tarmac. #LorettaLynch #BillClinton

Bill Barr today asked how history would remember him dropping Flynn case: “History is written by the winners, so it largely depends on who is writing the history.” There’s a reason Trump hates history.

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Folks, I want Bill Barr out of office as much as anyone. But doesn’t matter how many people sign the petition – he’s NOT going to resign. We win the White House, Flip the Senate, and then President Biden can put a decent woman, or man, in Barr’s place.

So how many men and women in jail are now calling their lawyers to demand a new trial because pleading guilty is no longer an admission of actually being guilty?

Judge Sullivan does have discretion regarding Barr and DOJ’s attempt to kill Flynn case, although apparently it would be highly unusual. Since we passed “highly unusual” a while ago, can someone please keep Emmet G. Sullivan away from windows?

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Per Rachel Maddow – , we don’t even have all test results from many Midwestern states especially meatpacking plants:

Per Washington Post – even without those numbers, Three states newly in top 15, & bidding to crack top 10 for cases per capita. – South Dakota, Iowa, Nebraska

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Lost in this week’s craziness was Trump’s veto of the War Powers Resolution passed by the House and Senate. Wonder if Donald figures the way he’s screwed up Coronavirus he may need to wag a really big dog.

ESPN reports that, MLB expects to offer a return-to-play proposal to the MLB Players Association within a week. The current best hope is some spring training in June, and actual games in July.

Or at least maybe taking away headlines from NFL for a week?

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One of the stranger non-Coronavirus, non-political semi-sports entences of 2020 that I vaguely somehow now understand is “People think the rhino is Barry Zito.”

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RBG, 87, arguing to protect women’s right to birth control from her hospital bed. And there’re still people who call themselves liberal who won’t vote for Biden because he’s not “progressive” enough. If you don’t like Biden-Trump choice, how about RBG-Kavanaugh choice? 

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Trump now says the Coronavirus task force will “continue on indefinitely” but “we may add or subtract people ….” Speaking of which, Donald’s not mentioning the 71,000 people who’ve been permanently subtracted.

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Among the businesses allowed to reopen on Friday in Iowa are… tanning facilities?! Guess Governor Reynolds figures, if you’re willing to risk COVID, you might as well also be able to risk skin cancer?

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Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds praising Dear Leader today at White House “The partnership and collaboration as we went through this pandemic has been incredible.” “WENT” through? Once again time for the question, evil or stupid?

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Someone asked new White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McNany who are world leaders who have praised Trump’s Coronavirus response, and she says she won’t reveal confidential information. Translation – none of them.

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Fox reports Texas Lt. Gov Dan Patrick vowed to pay fines for a woman sent to jail because she kept her hair salon open, & volunteered to go under house arrest on condition she be freed. Uh, instead of house arrest why doesn’t Patrick volunteer to visit a COVID ICU ward?

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A so-called “pro-life” Trump supporter proudly saying “you can call me a Grandma killer,” because she doesn’t want to stop going to museums and zoos, just about sums up what Hillary meant by “deplorables.”

Officials say 54 people in Milwaukee County alone who voted in person on April 7 have tested positive for the coronavirus.
“How many deaths will it take till he knows, that too many people have died?”
Mitch McConnell – call for a damn vote on the  #VoteByMail bill.

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If there were no easy rapid COVID-19 test that Trump has access to every single day, does anyone think he’d be doing these vanity events on a regular basis?

On COVID Trump has zero shame.

Sad numbers become just a game.

For as people die

Don will just turn and lie

Then choose a new person to blame

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No joke, but since there’s no real baseball today. –  happy  89th Birthday Willie Mays.

You think you’re having a bad day at work. Imagine being a Wendy’s worker when you run out of hamburgers and it’s nonstop “Where’s the Beef” jokes?

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On Twitter tonight, there was a serious debate about the merits, or non-merits, of Fritos.   I  miss the days when that  debate  would have been the most contentious thing on social media. But I’m having serious chili cheese Fritos flashbacks.  And now I want some.

Ousted vaccine director Dr. Rick Bright today formally filed an extensive whistleblower complaint. I hope he stays away from windows.

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Again, ANYONE thinking of casting a protest vote this November. Four words: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Four more words in an acronym: GTFU

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Kellyanne said Trump is the “healthcare” President. Like Hoover was the stock market President?

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Trump claims in ABC interview that he doesn’t sleep at night. But of course he does. Upside down, hanging from a branch.

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Trump – “Will some people be affected badly? Yes. But we have to get our country open, and we have to get it open soon.” Guessing he figures those affected badly won’t complain too much, because they will be like, you know, dead.

Trump tweeting about his great testing “miracle” compared to other countries. Is that like “One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear?” Asking for a tired, and sick, country. #WhereAreTheDamnTests

If whoever at the Honeywell plant played “Live and Let Die” while Trump was visiting gets fired over it, guessing he/she won’t have a shortage of job offers.

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While Trump was visiting someone at Honeywell plant played “Live and Let Die” over loudspeakers. Donald’s next trip this week is to Ohio. Too late for “Ohio” since Kent State anniversary was Monday, but- “You’re So Vain, ” “Fool on the Hill,” “Psycho Killer…?” Ideas welcome.

Florida “now allowing eateries, stores, museums & other businesses in 64 counties to welcome customers at 25% capacity.” So since that’s business as usual what time this weekend is the Marlins game?

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You know it’s been too much politics and too little sports when you see NC Dinos trending on Twitter, and instead of realizing they’re a South Korean baseball team you think it’s North Carolina Democrats acting like Republicans.

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And yes, the VP race is the only game in town… and look, not a big believer in polls anyway, but with recent CBS poll showing most Democrats prefer Elizabeth Warren as Joe Biden’s running mate, wouldn’t you think if Dems really felt that way more of them would have voted Warren (or Sanders) in the Primary?

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In the “small mercies” department, just guessing that tomorrow USA will set one good record – lowest number in recent memory of DUI arrests and death on Cinco De Mayo.

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Another small mercy I didn’t see coming.  After CNN interview with Anderson Cooper, Ohio Governor Mike DeWine  a longtime opponent of LGBTQ rights, on Monday night gave Anderson an unsolicited, and seemingly heartfelt  “Congratulations on the baby. It’s a great thing.”

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Trump is now attacking Joe Biden in fundraising emails as a “BIG GOVERNMENT SOCIALIST.” Seriously? But hey, maybe Donald should use that phrase on Twitter, might get Joe a few more Bernie Sanders supporter votes.

Wild tweet storm at 1am from Donald Trump, attacking all the Republicans he perceives to be against him.

“Hello, Washington DC 911 – I wish to report an elderly man in distress. Possible OD?

I fully expect President Biden to have a verbal gaffe, or two, every week. But pretty darn sure he won’t be calling his political opponents “LOSERS” & “deranged losers,” and  “Moonface.”

Per ESPN, apparently Rays Blake Snell (who?)  won the inaugural MLB The Show Players League on Sunday with a three-game sweep in the video game against the White Sox’s Lucas Giolotto. (also who?)

Now, any nice sporting news these days is cool. But that this was an actual ESPN HEADLINE?

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Christian Laettner was trending yesterday morning because people feel very strongly about whether he was or was not a great basketball player. I miss the days when Sunday Twitter was largely about sports arguments.

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Someday in a post-pandemic world, imagining grownup children asking “Mom, what was a potluck?”

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Wonder how much PPE the federal government could buy for the cost of all their recent Blue Angels and Thunderbirds flyovers?

Looking at pictures of crowded beaches and marveling at fact that some people were more scared in late 1970s by a movie featuring a mechanical shark than they are now by the serious chance of dying.

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Dr. Birx on “Reopen” protesters “if they go home & infect their grandmother or grandfather…..& they have a serious or unfortunate outcome, they will feel guilty for the rest of their lives.”  Nah, they’ll probably blame it on Obama.

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From Trump fundraising email-“Dems never going to stop coming after me, 1/2 of them complain we’re opening up Country too fast & other 1/2 gripe we’re not opening it up fast enough. They’ll never be happy no matter what I do.” Not true. We’ll be VERY happy if you resign.

“That’s one of the reasons we’re successful, if you call losing 80 or 90,000 people successful.I used to say 65,000 and now I’m saying 80 or 90 and it goes up and it goes up rapidly.” No, you used to say, “15 and it’s going to go down to zero.”

If the Trump “town hall” charade on Fox News Sunday night isn’t scary enough to make you a Biden supporter, think on this: State TV isn’t being obsequious enough so Donald is now cheating on them with OANN.

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Finally, nonsnark.  There are so many reasons I’m a Democrat. And why I really don’t like guns. May 4, 1970 – I was in 5th grade. Allison Krause was only 19 years old.
50 years ago today…

https://www.cincinnati.com/in-depth/news/history/2020/05/01/kent-state-shootings-allison-krause-killed-national-guard/3055246001/?fbclid=IwAR1k9FxAQIWy9iZ6GmXi1WcNbWP9ejB_o2utyMv4yGovmPuLHgkfrjQuOYk

Was hoping it wouldn’t end this way…. but as we stagger into May, the streak remains, it has been since 1997 since an April without  the San Antonio Spurs in the playoffs.

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Does this matter in the grand scheme of things? No. But I can’t remember, going back to being a child a long time ago, when the first Saturday NIGHT in May after Kentucky Derby  didn’t bring that at least brief dreamy anticipation of having a potential Triple Crown winner.

And NBC redid the 2015 Kentucky Derby today, and did a computer-simulated Derby between 13 Triple Crown winners. Okay, we’re all so starved for sports that the computer generated races was fun. But as we all knew, there was no way any horse would have beaten Secretariat.

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(yeah, there was the 1973 Wood Memorial.  Many theories on that. But  Secretariat didn’t let it happen again.)

Yes, many of us Democratic women believe Joe now. But what gets me is how many Republican women who believe over TWENTY-FIVE women who accused Donald Trump were all lying now claim to believe Tara Reade.

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Dr. Anne Schuchat, #2 official at CDC, told AP the US government was too slow to respond to coronavirus pandemic & stop travel from Europe. So what Friday night will Trump fire Dr. Schuchat?

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Today from Camp David, Trump  showed more real empathy today for Kim Jong Un than he has done for the 65,000 plus Americans who have died. There is no punchline. There is no bottom.

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While millions of elderly Americans are confined and at risk in crowded nursing homes, taxpayers this weekend are paying for very expensive isolated assisted-living for a ranting old man at Camp David.

Donald Trump has been defending ReOpen protesters as “good people.” Wonder what he’ll say if people show up to protest his Lincoln Memorial virtual town hall tomorrow?

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All this talk about “excitement” on Democratic ticket: Here’s what I would really find exciting right now – idea of enjoying a Saturday night, not checking news & waking up Sunday morning without first thought being “WTF did POTUS and/or VP do now?”

The NBA is talking about delaying start of 2020-2021 season until December.

“Wait, and eliminate all those gripping first 20-30 games of the regular season?” said almost no one.

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Mitch McConnell –  ” I think the country needs sports. We’ve all missed that during the pandemic.”

While I actually agree with Mitch this one and perhaps only  time, I wish I didn’t have the feeling he wants sports to distract from the judicial appointments he wants to ram through before November.

I know SNL AT Home isn’t live this week, but oh please oh please would Kate McKinnon just consider doing a two minute virtual skit playing new White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany?

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As reports indicate black people are getting sick and dying at a much higher rate from COVID-19, anyone else notice that just about ALL the “ReOpen” protesters are white?

Don’t think they’ll wear bracelets. But in a week or so, can Southern California healthcare workers look for bathing suit tan lines and send all those Huntington Beach protesters home to cure themselves with sunlight?

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Gallup, NM, has 1,027 cases of COVID-19 in a town of about 22,000 people. But wait, wait, Trump likes to act like coronavirus isn’t a rural problem, maybe he could stop in Gallup and show support next week on his way to Arizona?

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Late Friday, Trump chose replacement for HHS IG who reported PPE shortages/coronavirus testing delays. Nominee Jason Weida represented feds in 2017 to allow employers “w/ religious/moral objection to block employees from getting health care for contraception.” This will go well.

Actually, we don’t need to know anything about Trump’s new nominee for HHS inspector general except this: A POTUS obsessed with “Bachelor Finale/MNF ratings” wouldn’t announce ANYTHING late Friday night he is proud of. Period.

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Trump is heading to Camp David this weekend. If he wanted to model “re-open America” behavior why doesn’t Donald head to Michigan to support and shake hands with some of those “very good people?”

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So still waiting for Donald Trump to explain to Americans why his visit this weekend to Camp David was “essential travel.”

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Random thought, upwards of 20 women have accused Trump of sexual assault. Surely at least one of them is willing to talk to a media that seems in desperate need of making such allegations part of the 2020 Presidential campaign?

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Of course we don’t know, but if I had to bet on another credible woman accuser coming forward I’d bet on a 26th for Trump rather than a second for Biden.

Former Cubs/Expos star  Andre Dawson now runs a funeral home in South Florida. Where he is unfortunately having a spike in business.  Yeah, we don’t have baseball right now. But wonder how many people crowding beaches in the state may have their next-of-kin meet this Hall of Fame player?

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NASCAR says they will resume season on May 17 with seven races in 10 days. So good news for since Trump stopped his daily press briefings for anyone who’s feeling withdrawal from watching wrecks.

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Macy’s says they will reopen all their US stores within six weeks. Of course new clothes retail therapy would be a lot more appealing if we had anywhere to wear them.

Contrary to what the Mayo Clinic itself said, Karen Pence said VP Mike didn’t know about the clinic having  a mask rule.

Got it.  So Karen  is the mom who writes a note for her son after he gets sent home for a school field trip dress code violations… and blames the teacher for not being clear?

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Joe Biden called for Trump to lower the White House flag to honor COVID-19 pandemic dead,. When asked today Donald responded:  “I would not mind doing that, I would say not only the White House flag. We could do that. In fact, it’s something I will be talking about later.”

Translation, in a week Trump will claim it’s his idea.

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Very confused, do some of these armed right-wing protesters in Michigan think you can just shoot the Coronavirus?

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Tonight Rachel Maddow told a story reported by Washington Post that Gov. Larry Hogan of Maryland needed to have plane from Korea with test kits land at BWI Airport, rather than Dulles so feds wouldn’t confiscate them.  And that the Maryland  National Guard is guarding the supplies. This documentary version of “24” s*cks.

Ooh, I may have gotten the link to work here. In any case. It’s a nice antidote to the insanity out of the Oval Office.  Two former rivals doing “Midwestern Nice,” mostly.

For anyone who says we need “excitement” on the ticket, I dream of the day when the biggest controversy involving a Vice President might be that she gets overly competitive at Scrabble.

Trump today ” People don’t realize. New Jersey, believe it or not, is the single most dense area in the country.” Uh, not even close. The single most truly “dense” area in the country is whatever room in which Donald calls a meeting of his cabinet.

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Latest lousy limerick

On COVID Trump wasn’t prepared.
So Don bet he could show that he cared.
But to tell Putin “danke”
Or placate Ivanka?
He threw all his chips in on Jared.

Baseball may be on hiatus but lawyers never sleep.   A suit was filed today against the Cubs and MLB on behalf of a fan hit who says she was sitting in the sixth row at Wrigley field and suffered permanent injuries after being struck in the face by a foul ball while she was chatting with a friend.

Not without some sympathy, but seriously, if you’re an adult in the SIXTH row in one of the smallest stadiums in baseball just maybe you should be paying attention?

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Former Jacksonville Jaguars linebacker Telvin Smith, 29, has been arrested and charged with a felony count of having sex with a 17 year old girl.
Leaving aside whether or not this should be a felony, wouldn’t you think NFL would teach players, after #1 rule about sex with anyone – “get consent”, #2 should be “check ID?”

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Serious question on a snarky topic: How long until Donald Trump decides to go golfing and frames it as leadership in reopening the county?

Trump said today he’s going to Arizona next week. , Phoenix temperatures have been and are expected to stay over 100 degrees. So if Donald really wants to test his theory that heat kills coronavirus, why doesn’t he plan to shake hands with as many supporters as possible?

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So Trump White House and Fox News are pushing a “Michael Flynn is innocent story” on the day Coronavirus death toll went past 60,000. What the heck are they going to come up with when we blow past 70,000 next week?

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Voted for Bill Clinton, twice, knowing well the man I thought would be very good president (he was), also had women issues (he did.) Biden was in Senate almost 20 yrs when Clinton ran in 1992. Never heard whisper about such issues until Joe clinched 2020 nomination. #Coincidence?

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Now there’s a Fox News headline. “Stacey Abrams denies applying double standard to Biden and Kavanaugh allegations.” I missed the headline “Fox News denies applying double standard to Biden and Trump allegations, and allegations, and allegations, and allegations.”

David Letterman says a source told him Trump “won’t wear a mask because they can’t figure out how to attach it to his hair.” Uh, and don’t forget that little issue of smudged makeup.

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Trump tweet tonight “I must admit that Lyin’ Brian Williams is, while dumber than hell, quite a bit smarter than Fake News
@CNN “anchorman” Don Lemon, the “dumbest man on television”. Then you have Psycho Joe “What Ever Happened To Your Girlfriend?” Scarborough, another of the low I.Q. individuals!”
But yeah, Donald doesn’t have time to watch TV.

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There once was a President Don On whose briefings all networks did fawn. Who cares if he lied And Americans died? As long as the TVs stayed on.

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Meanwhile…

Trump email. (no joke) “Sleepy Joe Biden just racked up new endorsements 1st. Mini Mike Bloomberg endorsed Biden. Next, Crazy Bernie forced to drop out & endorse Biden. Then, Cheatin’ Obama endorsed his former VP, Biden. Today, Crooked Hillary endorsed Biden.” So Presidential..

Golden State coach Steve Kerr today acknowledged that his team is operating as if the season already is over. Well to be fair, since before COVID-19 the Warriors were 15-50, it already was.

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Serious side sports story – Orioles outfielder Trey Mancini has started undergoing chemotherapy to treat Stage 3 colon cancer.

Ugh. Your reminder, when we can safely go back to having preventive procedures done, go get that previously scheduled mammogram, pap smear, colonoscopy. etc.

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Apparently AP called the Ohio Democratic Primary for Joe Biden right after 8:00 p.m. tonight. I’m so old that I remember when the clusterf*ck in counting Iowa caucuses was the biggest thing millions of Americans, including me, were stressed about.

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Trolls on twitter had #opencalifornianow trending today.

Open what?  The earth?  Gravediggers are standing by.

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Newt Gingrich- “I’ve never seen the Radical Left work as hard to discredit a President as they have with President Trump.” Please, Newt, you impeached a President over an affair at the same time you were cheating on your second wife.

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If you ever needed proof that GOP wants to terrify Americans about all the wrong things: Vice President Pence, the man who decided he won’t be alone with another woman who is not his wife,  decided not wear a mask for his visit to the Mayo Clinic.

Mike Pence claims he didn’t wear a mask because he claims he wanted to ‘look healthcare personnel in the eye and say thank you.” Hint to VP Pence… If a mask is covering your eyes, you’re wearing it wrong.

Trump is actually threatening a “Quid pro quo” in saying he may demand states cooperate with ICE to get COVID-19 relief, a little history lesson – the phrase “quid pro quo” in 16th century denoted a medicine substituted for another.

Something like substituting bleach for fever-reducers and oxygen?

Justin Amash has joined Jesse Ventura in saying he is thinking about running for President. Yes, this year.  If Justin  and Jesse really need some potential victory for their egos, maybe someone should organize a charity pay-per-view cage match?

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Now THIS is a serious freezer burn.   Nancy Pelosi today about Trump.  “He makes a big fuss about my having ice cream in my freezer…I have ice cream in my freezer. I guess it’s better than having Lysol in somebody’s lungs as he’s suggesting.”

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If you were more upset about Barack Obama wearing a tan suit than you were by Mike Pence not wearing a mask at the Mayo Clinic, then it’s time to forever stop pretending you are “pro-life.”

Of all the useless arguments, and I’m good at useless arguments,  high up there has to be the  “who won the NFL draft argument?”   As in I remember at this time in 1998 when pundits were still arguing if the Colts made the right choice in picking Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf.

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Rumors that MLB might be considering new Rangers ballpark near Dallas as a neutral site for delayed 2020 baseball season . Wonder if San Diego’s Petco Park is on the list, as a SF Giants fan have never yet been there & noticed enough Padres fans for home field advantage.

Rumors that former Dodger.  Yasiel Puig might sign with the SF Giants.  Thinking NFW.  On the other hand, Madison Bumgarner IS with the Diamondbacks now.

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Still trying to wrap my head around Jameis Winston with #Saints. But gather Drew Brees can teach him a lot. Starting with

1. Throw the ball to people wearing YOUR team colors.

2. Always pay for your crab legs.

(not my joke but seen on social media – Jameis Winston is going to fit in well in New Orleans. He’s already had five years experience throwing to Saints players.)

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Is there something wrong with me that I really don’t care that Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are divorcing?

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Among the many trivial little things I am going to miss in a post pandemic world – bars that put out barrels of peanuts.

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Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton rants Chinese students shouldn’t be able to come to the US to study science, (so they can return home and compete with American.)  Cotton thinks they should only be able to study things like Shakespeare & Federalist Papers – Both of which were written by immigrants.

Pretty obvious at Harvard he didn’t study history…checks wikipedia.   Uh,  “Tom Cotton graduated w/ A.B Magna Cum Laude; wrote his senior thesis on…the Federalist Papers.”

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Doesn’t every woman dream on her 50th birthday of spending it locked up in a big house with an unhinged man ranting on Twitter?   Happy Birthday Melania.

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Trump ranted this morning in a few tweets abbout Fake news and journalists Russia and “Noble” (sic) prizes.

Then Sunday afternoon – “Does anybody get the meaning of what a so-called Noble (not Nobel) Prize is, especially as it pertains to Reporters and Journalists? Noble is defined as, “having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles and ideals.” Does sarcasm ever work?”

But when I went to double check what he wrote originally, the “Noble” tweets were gone.

Just one question -If it was sarcasm why did Trump delete them,

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Seriously folks, most of what I post is snark or sarcasm. And one rule I think I and probably all humor writers follow – if you get a good sarcastic tweet that goes viral, you DON’T delete it. #Noble

Can we offer Trump a Noble prize for his resignation speech?

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Anyone else wonder if maybe today’s Twitter rant storm was because Trump knows he will NEVER be played on television by Brad Pitt? #DrFauci

Oops, per ESPN, newly drafted Patriots rookie kicker Justin Rohrwasser says a tattoo on his left arm was just something he did as a teenager, and is not meant to symbolize the markings of “The Three Percenters,” a right-wing militia group.  And Rohwasser says will cover it up.
There is a reason some people think you should be 21 and over for tattoos.

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Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis said there will be no in-person sporting events through May. Although what better way would there have been to test social distancing than with normal attendance at Marlins Park and Tropicana Fie

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As much as I’ll miss college football games, anyone else thinking wistfully right now it’s going to be a VERY long time until we get back to buffets and shared beverages at tailgates?

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Researchers finding Americans with “quarantine fatigue” are increasingly leaving home against stay-at-home orders. So we’re dying to go outside?

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So with no vanity press briefing Saturday does that mean members of the Trump Coronavirus Task Force got to spend the day lying to their families?

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Irony for a big win today. Just got an invitation to donate to Trump re-election campaign and receive in exchange a “Trump-Pence” welcome mat. Ironic for the administration that wants to slap a “We’re Closed” sign on America.

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Trump bragging twice on Twitter this morning about 5 million tests. US population 328 million. What happened to “everyone who wants a test can get a test?”

As a child in the pre-ESPN days, remembered ABC’s “Wide World of Sports,” ” “the human drama of athletic competion” where they could get pretty desperate in various offseasons  -cliff diving competitions anyone?

Have to wonder, did the 2nd and 3rd rounds of NFL virtual  draft tonight get the highest ratings ever?

Could’ve been much worse with our Tide Pod President‘s suggestion to ingest disinfectants:  Imagine if like Clorox and Lysol weren’t already almost as hard to get as hand sanitizer due to Coronavirus.

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Mitch McConnell’s wife, Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao now claims social distancing is possible on airplanes Anyone want to take a pool on the last time Chao, or Mitch, flew coach?

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Tonight Rachel Maddow reported “82% of Republicans align with the view that social distancing and stay-at-home orders are responsible life-saving measures.” So maybe “Live free or die” sounds better as a hypothetical?

Since Trump is so desperate for a “win” how long until he throws someone under the bus for firing #CaptainCrozier and takes personal credit for reinstating the Theodore Roosevelt captain?

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Right about now Joe Biden could make someone drink Clorox in the middle of 5th Avenue and I’d still vote for him.

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West Point Cadets know they might have to risk their lives for their country. Now, because Trump wants to make a speech, they have to return to campus for graduation and risk their lives for a photo-op.

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Trump “We’re opening our country. It’s very exciting to see. We have a lot of talent involved. From governors to people who just stand there and help you with the doors.” What did you do in the war, daddy/mommy? “I opened doors.”

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Okay, I know these are crazy times but Joe Biden and many of women on his VP list have seriously had to tweet today not to drink or ingest disinfectant!!? Did not see this one coming.

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So will people who die from ingesting disinfectants be counted in COVID-19 death counts? Asking for a sometimes very stupid country.

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Yeah, schadenfreude and justice and all that. But in the interest of healing, who would make this deal? Trump resigns, takes Pence with him. President Pelosi pardons him, appoints VP Joe Biden, and then, after Joe gets his team together, lets Biden take over.

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1. Many complain Joe Biden isn’t exciting.
2.  Current occupant of the Oval Office just suggested Americans ingest Clorox.
3. Excitement is overrated

Tom Brady mistakenly walked into wrong home in Tampa, apparently when trying to meet with Bucs offensive coordinator Byron Leftwich for the first time, and ended up at Leftwich’s next door neighbor’s unlocked door.

Ha, ha, funny, right? Of course if Tom were black there’s a decent chance he’d be dead now.

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Do miss the times when tonight the biggest things most Americans would have been worked up about would have been the player they wish their NFL drafted.

So if anyone dies from going bowling in Georgia and getting COVID-19 can the bowling alley at least figure out what shoes they rented and retire them?

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As a woman who went to high school in Florida in the 1970s, I must say, until today I would look back and think that using tin foil and baby oil for a tan was the stupidest thing imaginable regarding sunlight and liquids.

We all knew now that Trump’s romance with hydroxychloroquine was over that Donald would find a new object of his affection. But did not see Lysol coming.

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Okay, maybe it’s just me but while it’s hard to imagine suggesting getting a socially distanced tattoo, Brian Kemp might have been one-upped by Trump suggesting Americans ingest disinfectant.

As insane as injecting disinfectant sounds, nobody’s talking today about vaccine expert Dr Rick Bright, dismissed this week as the director of BARDA, who says he was ousted for questioning the potential of hydroxychloroquine. Coincidence?

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Technically speaking Trump was right. Drinking Lysol or Clorox WILL keep you from dying from coronavirus – because they will kill you first.

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So will Trump tomorrow use sunlight as a excuse to declare all his golf courses essential and reopen them?

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Deborah and Dr. Fauci.” No, POTUS isn’t a misogynistic pig, why do you ask?

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Today Donald also referred to “a sleepy guy in a basement in a house.” That’s #PresidentBiden to you, Donald Trump.

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Fox News’ Sean Hannity says Americans ‘dying to get back to work.

Fixed it for Hannity – Americans will be “dying FROM getting back to work.”

So why isn’t Trump bragging about having a Labradoodle breeder heading HHS Coronavirus task force? Especially as right now the death rate from COVID-19 is very low for Labradoodles.

Hard to believe that if not for COVID-19 the NBA playoffs would have begun and we’d only be about two months away from the finals.

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A Tiger Woods/Peyton Manning vs Phil Mickelson/Tom Brady charity golf match is planned for May, without spectators. Well, good to see in these tough times without sports that poor Brady is getting some attention.

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MLB has suspended Red Sox manager Alex Cora for the 2020 season. Which would be bigger news if it looked like MLB was going to HAVE a 2020 season.

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You require a license to drive a car. Can we require a signed DNR order for anyone taking part in these reopen rallies? Like #ReopenVirginia

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Trump tweets “I have instructed the United States Navy to shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats if they harass our ships at sea.” 1. Wag The Dog didn’t need to be remade as a documentary. 2. Who taught Donald to spell “harass?”

Back in my youth, I was on a casual bowling team with coworkers. And as mom had several bowling outings with my son. Been a few years but besides random shoe rental, remember testing out about a dozen balls each time for feel & weight. What could possibly go wrong with Georgia reopening bowling alleys?

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Las Vegas Mayor, Carolyn Goldman, is 81 years old. Poor woman, she’s got the blond hair and the talking points right, but she’s WAY too old to be hired by Fox News.

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Found by a Canadian friend. @EmilyAnnette6 on Twitter  “At the grocery. Wearing my mask. Lady behind me, snarky & loud enough to make sure I heard, “don’t guess she realizes that stupid mask won’t do any good.” Me: “Honey, I’m an off duty nurse, I’m wearing it to protect YOU. But, I can take it off if you’d like.” She practically ran.”

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Reports now that Jesse Ventura is interested in running for the Green Party’s Presidential nomination. Because 2020 wasn’t weird enough?

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So just how hard is it for Mike Pence to give groveling daily praise to dear leader. Or does his soul have permanent immunity at this point?

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Ah, Rachel Maddow is onto the story that hydroxychloroquine is looking like it may cause more harm than good.   Meanwhile Donald is distancing himself so fast from the drug beginning to think he used to be married to it.

Marlins manager Don Mattingly,  watching “The Last Dance,” said watching Michael Jordan’s playing heroics remind him a lot of Miami owner Derek Jeter.

Mattingly didn’t add that Jordan’s ownership record probably also now reminds him of Derek Jeter.

Per Rachel Maddow,  South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem says that fans attending an auto race this weekend in the state is a bad idea. If only Noem had the power to do anything about it.

A story in SF Chronicle about a Sacramento protest against Stay At Home notes that it was organized by the “Freedom Angels,” an anti-vaxxer group. And that some of them brought their children. This might be funny if it weren’t so sad.

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AG Bill Barr says his DOJ may join lawsuits against governors who refuse to roll back stay-home orders. So will Susan Collins pronounce herself “troubled?” Or “very troubled?

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Meghan McCain on the View today told her co-hosts to “check their privilege.”. I cannot possibly write anything funnier than that.

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Missouri today became first state to sue the Chinese government over COVID-19s pandemic, citing “an appalling campaign of deceit.” Uh, can U.S. states sue our own government? Asking for some blue and even red states.

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Meow time. So how come Dr. Birx doesn’t have her roots showing after over almost a month of task force briefing? Do she and our #BackupInChief share an “essential” hair colorist?

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Trump says there will be “some exceptions” to his Executive Order on immigration. Translation “I need my resorts staffed, and some of my friends need wives.”

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Hydroxychloroquine trials have been going so badly I fully expect Donald Trump soon to say they were Obama’s idea.

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What it comes to early re-opening, seems to me it comes down to one simple question: Even if you’re confident in your own ability to beat coronavirus, how do you know you won’t kill somebody else?

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Texas Lt. Gov #DanPatrick April 2019, defending Texas “pro-life” bill to stop local govts from contracting w/ agencies like Planned Parenthood “There is nothing more important than defending the defenseless. Dan Patrick April 2020 “There are more important things than living.”

Rumors that Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez may try to buy the Mets. How much do I long for the days when that would have been the biggest story of the week in New York?

A Yankees fan who bought tickets for a Red Sox game on May 9, is suing because the team says the game “postponed” rather than canceled so they’re not issuing refunds. The woman paid $926 for 6 tickets. At least she didn’t prepay beers – she could be out thousands.

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Newt Gingrich attacks Nancy Pelosi over her freezer containing $12-a-pint ice cream – says it’s “most tone-deaf thing I’ve seen a Speaker do.”

Uh, I don’t know, impeaching a President over adultery while you’re House Speaker and cheating on your second wife is pretty up there.

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On a snarky and petty note, just realized Don Jr’s girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle, 51, is over a year older than Melania Trump

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All these idiots saying “Jesus is my Vaccine” clearly are planning to meet “Him” sooner rather than later.

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Seeing these Confederate flags at the “re-open” rallies. I always knew the flag now was a sign of racism, didn’t realize quite how much it’s also a sign of stupidity.

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Trump saying Governors call their own shots. And now Georgia’s Brian Kemp, Tennessee’s Bill Lee, and South Carolina’s Henry McCaster took that as a license to use their own states for target practice.

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So Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp is opening up businesses including massage therapists, nail and hair salons. With “social distancing.”
Uh, as we try to wrap our heads around how someone gives you a massage or does your nails/hair at a distance, your reminder, again, as Amy Klobuchar says, “if not for voter suppression, my friend Stacey Abrams would be Governor of Georgia right now.”

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Seriously among the businesses Brian Kemp will allow to reopen are body art studios. So how do you do a socially distanced tattoo? Throw ink darts from across the room?

Every day The Washington Post lists the ten counties in USA with highest rate of deaths. Five of them are in Georgia.
Is Governor Brian Kemp going for a clean sweep?

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As movie theaters open in Georgia on Monday I can see the ads already for jumbo sized popcorn “A shareable snack to die for.”

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Trump issued an executive order stopping immigration, but his Mar-A-Lago club, which will open again in late October, has claimed for years they need H-2B Visa workers. So will Donald rescind the order then, or is he heading to Moscow or somewhere Nov 4?

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With all due respect, since US currently has the worst COVID-19 outbreak in the world, along with the most expensive healthcare? why does Trump think people now WANT to come here?

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Per CNN Kim Jong Un reportedly in critical condition after surgery. Wanna bet Trump will express more heartfelt emotion over him tomorrow at his vanity rally than over almost all the 41,000 plus Americans who have died?

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If Kim Jong Un is NOT gravely ill, how p*ssed off is Trump going to be at the North Korean leader for stealing all his xenophobic immigration ban headlines?

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So with Trump suspending all immigration into the United States by executive order, does this mean Donald has decided he has no plans to look for a 4th wife?

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For all the time Trump has had to vent on Twitter and in his vanity rally, your reminder, on the anniversary of the Columbine school massacre and 24 hours after worst mass shooting in Canadian history he hasn’t found time to mention either.