Archive for November 2018

Not quite marching in

November 30, 2018

 

Well. If you’re going to have the whole team have a collective off night, better now than in the postseason.  On a brighter note for Saints fans the last time Cowboys broke their long winning streak it worked out okay – in 2009.

But hey, IMHO, the Cowboys still suck.  And if that hit on Kamara wasn’t targeting, then maybe NFL should get rid of the rule.

 

And didn’t we all have the Toronto Raptor and L.A. Clippers leading their respective conferences on November 30… Followed by the Milwaukee Bucks and  Denver Nuggets. #LiarsDice

Look, Richard Sherman has had a great career. But now he says about his former QB Wilson “I don’t really have a relationship with Russell . We were teammates.”

Sherman also has no relationship with his former Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh. Not that we need an NFL “kumbaya”  but at some point, yeah, it’s not you it’s me.

 

Jim Acosta reported today that source close to White House called former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen a ‘rat’ adding, ‘inmates hate rats.”

On the other hand, rats multiply around garbage.

Trump said this morning Michael Cohen is a “weak person.” Gosh, almost as the man who throws EVERYONE under the bus is shocked when people don’t stay loyal to him.

 

Not sure if Michael Cohen has ever been to Russia. But guessing it’s off his future travel list. Along possibly with having tea in London?

Anyone think until today that Trump knew who Senator Tim Scott was?

 

Trump says that he misses New York. How long until they try to build a wall around Manhattan?

Trump canceled meeting with Putin today. Maybe Donald doesn’t want to face his boss after leaving his former lawyer alive to testify against him?

Russia news agency said “Kremlin regrets US Pres. Donald Trump’s decision to cancel a meeting with Russian Pres Vladimir Putin in Argentina and said Moscow is ready for contact with Trump.” In other words, your boss wants to see you in his office.

How much are we bid?

November 29, 2018

Tampa Bay Buccaneers are giving two additional free tickets for season ticket-holders for this weekend’s game against the Carolina Panthers.  What’s next, paying them to bring additional fans to games?

 

 

Washington coach Jay Gruden, saying there is no guarantee Reuben Foster will play for Redskins “We hold our standards very high…”
And he said it with a straight face.

Aldon Smith has agreed to a plea deal from his latest domestic violence arrest. The plea includes 90 days in jail and three years probation.  The SF Chronicle says Smith will be permitted to serve the sentence at an inpatient alcohol and drug treatment center.

So how long will it take before the Redskins sign him too?

Ivanka Trump says “there no equivalency” between her use of personal email for government business and Hillary Clinton’s. Right, it’s the IOKIYT rule – “It’s OK If You’re Trump.:

Apparently the Salvation Army, which for all its good works has been strongly anti-LGBT, and bans non-celibate gays from serving as officers, is warning members not to discuss their anti-LGBT rights views in public during the Christmas bell-ringing season.

Uh, has the Army considered instead possibly rethinking their views?

 

 

As Donald Trump continues off the rails with rant about “the Angry Mueller Gang of Dems.. “viciously telling witnesses to lie,” your reminder that Robert Mueller is a decorated veteran and a REPUBLICAN/

Ann Coulter “Trump will be the last Republican president.” Because “Every day, more and more immigrants turn 18 and start voting, canceling out all of your votes.”
Uh, how about not blaming immigrants and blaming evolution?

Apparently now NRA’s television division is laying off employees. So, disgruntled and angry people with guns… what could go wrong?

 

Margaret Atwood says she is writing a sequel to “The Handmaid’s Tale.” Meanwhile GOP is working on the nonfiction version.

A little less winning…

November 28, 2018

Mike Krzyzewski after Duke’s first loss of the season. “Let’s not get spoiled.”
And fans of other college basketball teams thinking – uh, a few decades late for that.

-Washington Redskins claimed Reuben Foster off waivers from the 49ers. Did they do it so the Patriots wouldn’t grab him first?

Jameis Winston has settled with Uber driver who said he groped her in 2016. Maybe now the Tampa Bay QB can stick to grabbing crab legs

United delay message ” We want you to know your flight is departing late because your crew arrived later than scheduled and has not had sufficient off-duty/rest time required by federal law. We value your time and we’re sorry for the inconvenience.”

Well, come on, pilots needed rest is science. When is Trump going to try to change THIS law.

 

So now Trump is taking on GM. What happens when Ford follows suit and closes plants? Will he take back those lovely tax cuts he gave them?

Let’s be real. If there were a tape of Putin and Trump talking and Vlad saying “I will give you emails to help you defeat Clinton if you do everything I say to benefit Russia once you are elected” MAGAers would say it was a good thing because Putin saved us from Hillary.

Can we all imagine what Trump supporters would do if an immigrant neighbor put red trees like Melania Trump’s on their lawn as holiday decorations?

Trump on denying his own administration’s climate change report “A lot of people like myself, we have very high levels of intelligence but we are not necessarily such believers.”
Well, the first and last six words are right.
Seriously? John Bolton says he has not listened to the audio of Jamal Khashoggi’s murder, because he “doesn’t speak Arabic.”
Uh, but we all scream in the same language.
Trump is threatening to cut GM subsidies. So what’s he going to do when Ford closes plants next?

Misplaced sympathy?

November 26, 2018

49ers GM John Lynch on Reuben Foster’s release – It “doesn’t mean we don’t love him. We all do. We care about the kid, care about his future.”
For some reason, crickets about the young woman he’s repeatedly been assaulting. And we wonder why young men get the idea domestic violence is okay.

Good news bad news for Golden State fans.  Good news – Warriors came back from 18 down to win tonight. Bad news, they needed to do it against the Orlando Magic.

 

 

Wait, the Washington Wizards have won 2 in a row, and 3 of their last 4?    Hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.

Now Trump is ranting about CNN and their global coverage. “Something has to be done, including the possibility of the United States starting our own Worldwide Network to show the World the way we really are, GREAT!”
Maybe he should resign and start his own network with Sean Hannity?

You know optics on teargassing children are bad when the Fox News headline is basically “Well, Obama used pepper spray on migrants…”

Fortunately for Trump, who doesn’t care about bad things that happen in blue states, the pain from GM plant closures will mostly be felt in Ohio and Michigan….

 

Utah GOP rep Mia Love, in her concession speech on Trump’ post-election criticism of her “…this gave me a clear vision of his world as it is. No real relationships, just convenient transactions.”
Uh, what was Love’s first clue?

Okay, after thousands of emails starting from “Pre-Black Friday” through “Black Friday” through “Black Friday Weekend” through “Cyber Monday,” how long until we start hearing about ‘Extended Cyber Monday?”

 

 

So now apparently Ted Cruz is trending because he has a beard.
Big deal. How many beards has Lindsey Graham had?

 

Federal prosecutors now allege Paul Manafort has “breached” his plea agreement with Justice Department by lying to the FBI and Mueller’s office.
And we thought Martha Stewart was stupid for lying to FBI over a little stock sale.

 

A slow Blue Wave can still be a Blue Tsunami ”

From AP – The AP is retracting its call in the race for California’s 21st Congressional District. The AP had declared Republican David Valadao the winner. However, Democrat T.J. Cox has taken the lead in the vote count. No new call will be made until the results are certified.”

If Cox wins it’s the 40th seat flipped.

Did the dog eat their receipt too?

November 25, 2018

MLB says they have asked for their $5,000 donation back to Mississippi Senate candidate Cindy Hyde-Smith, claiming “The contribution was made in connection with an event that M.L.B. lobbyists were asked to attend.”
Jeez, and MLB thinks some of players’ steroids excuses are bad.

 

The Calgary Stampeders. who had the CFL’s best regular season record, won this year’s Grey Cup today over Ottawa, 27-16.
Yeah, I know people often joke about the college champion, but wonder how many NFL teams the Stampeders actually COULD beat.

Just pointing out that the Cleveland Browns have as many wins- plus a tie – as the Raiders and 49ers put together.

49ers release Reuben Foster after his latest DV arrest last night. Of course, considering that the LB was already on two years’ probation since June stemming from his last arrest, guessing he was going to be unavailable anyway.

Phillip Rivers tied an NFL record set by Ryan Tannehill with 25 straight completed passes Sunday. But does Rivers’ share of the record have an asterisk because it was against the Arizona Cardinals?

 

 

So first it’s romaine lettuce, how long until we have a live-action sequel to Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle?”

Michelle Obama’s book “Becoming” is now #1 on NY Times bestseller list.
I’m sure if he finds out Donald Trump will have an appropriately dignified and congratulatory response.

Senator Joni Ernst, asked about Friday’s climate change report said that climate “ebbs and flows”. Right. Because she has so much experience with tides in Iowa?

As Donald Trump is now referring to himself as “President T” can we almost cue Professor Harold Hill – “with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pee.. (And where is that tape anyway?”)

If it’s all a question of wages, and immigrants taking jobs that Americans really want to do, how come Donald Trump insisted he needed to hire over 70 temporary foreign workers, mostly from Haiti, at Mar-A-Lago?

Surely if ANYONE could have afforded to pay a living wage.

 

Since it is public record with the H2-B visa requests – ie hiring immigrants because you can’t find Americans, I’m sure Donald Trump doesn’t mind the world knowing at Mar-A-Lago for 2018, he was offering the princely wage of $13.31 per hour – down three cents from 2017. Can’t imagine why US citizens wouldn’t jump at that in pricey South Florida….

If Trump had a golf course in San Diego and some of his employees were included in the 90,000 cross-border commuters from Mexico, does anyone think he wouldn’t find another way to deal with the migrants than closing the border.

Seriously as a nation can we at least agree on a few things? Like “Teargassing children is wrong.”

If you say you’d do ANYTHING for your children, but are condemning mothers who want to help their children escape horrors in Central and Latin America, you just might be a hypocrite.

Not thanking them for the music.

November 24, 2018

Are there any two schools with more obnoxious fight songs than Notre Dame and USC?

 

Purdue coach Jeff Brohm, considered a leading candidate to coach at Louisville his alma-mater – “I’m the coach at Purdue. This is where I want to be and I like it here.”
Translation, nobody has offered me enough to leave, yet.

 

Canada’s Grey Cup between Ottawa and Calgary will be played tomorrow in Edmonton, with game time temperature starting in the high 20s Fahrenheit. Hope both teams can adjust to the balmy weather.

 

 

Fortunately, it appears that while 40 people were injured when one of the University of Washington buses overturned on the way to the Apple Bowl game against WSU, none of the injuries were serious.
If it were the Stanford band, they’d have redone their whole halftime show – to “Highway to Hell,” “Detroit Rock City,” “Dead Man’s Curve”, etc..

But seriously well played, WSU.  Even though the Cougars lost the game, their band learns Husky fight song to play during Apple Cup since the UW band decided not to have their uninjured member play.

 

 

Give Stanford Football credit.   Even though it’s a disappointing season, the team was bowl eligible even before today’s win at UCLA and next week’s big game at Cal.   And unlike most Power Five schools the Cardinal has enough cojones to schedule UCF next year.

 

Drew Brees’s 4 TD passes Thursday included three to new targets Tommylee Lewis, Dan Arnold and Keith Kirkwood. – his 11th, 12th and 13th different TD receivers which tied an NFL record.
So mad scientist Payton clearly must be working on trying to draw up a TD pass play to a 14th player.

I’m so old that I remember when didn’t last a week.

So on Black Friday could other countries buy off Donald Trump at a discount?

 

Trump administration just asked the Supreme Court to take up Trump’s proposed military transgender ban.    Because this is the most important challenge facing the armed services…. said no military leader ever.

Beyond turkey day

November 22, 2018

Okay, in the grand scheme of things, sports may not be that significant. But feeling really thankful right now to be able to watch Drew Brees and the 2018 New Orleans Saints

 

From ESPN “The Saints winning streak continued as they stayed in contention for home field in the NFC.”

Uh, no slam dunk, as neither New Orleans or Los Angeles Rams guaranteed to win out  but “in contention”  translates more – Saints have home field unless they lose.

Meanwhile NFL rules say SOMEONE has to win the NFC East, right?

 

Kyrie Irving apologized on Twitter for his comments when a reporter wished him a happy Thanksgiving after Celtics lost to the Knicks last night, and his response was “F*ck Thanksgiving.”

Let’s hope no one puts a mike in front of Irving if the Celtics lose to the 76ers on Christmas.

So how long until Donald Trump gives himself a Purple Heart for being brave enough to address the troops on Thanksgiving via teleconference?

 

When asked what he was thankful for today, Donald Trump responded, “for having a great family and for having made a tremendous difference in this country. I’ve made a tremendous difference in the country. This country is so much stronger now than it was when I took office that you wouldn’t believe it.”

Once again, time to update the DSM to give the man his own page.

 

And a quick serious note at the end here. Thankful for all my friends and family this Thanksgiving.  And readers if I haven’t met you yet.  And that we still live in a free enough country to disagree!

Almost turkey time.

November 21, 2018

Derek Carr – “I want to mess up the draft I don’t want the first pick. I want to win all these games. I want everybody to be mad at me for that. That’s what I want to accomplish.”
Let’s see, Oakland Raiders do still have a game against Broncos, but they also play the  Ravens, Bengals, Steelers, and Chiefs, Kansas City TWICE.  Is Carr trying to be drug-tested?

Manny Machado is saying he didn’t really mean his “not going to be Johnny Hustle” comment “I was trying to talk about how I’m not the guy who is eye wash…” Translation, okay, I wasn’t thinking how much this might cost me in free agency.

After a number of  “off-field issues”,  Miami Hurricanes have announced starting wide receiver Jeff Thomas is no longer part of the football program.  Too soon to start a pool on which SEC team will decide Thomas needs a second chance?

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving Eve. Otherwise known as “As God Is My Witness I’ll Never Go To The Grocery Store Again” Day.

High winds may ground Macy’s Thanksgiving balloons tomorrow. Suppose it would be really tacky to make a joke about biggest bloated orange balloon having abandoned NY for Florida?

After being criticized for not visiting the troops, Trump has decided to do a teleconference with the military on Thanksgiving.

 

Oh, I’m sure seeing POTUS on his golf course in the Florida sunshine before he eats a dinner at his gold-plated private club will do wonders for troop morale.

 

Uh, Donald Trump “The largest sources of U.S. imported oil: Canada (40%), Saudi Arabia (11%), Venezuela (9%), Mexico (8%), and Colombia (4%).”
So where’s the thanks to Justin Trudeau? And Canada doesn’t kill journalists.

Because nothing says being Presidential like starting a feud with the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court the day before Thanksgiving.
Are we great yet?

 

It is possible that the fate of Trump’s presidency may lie in the hands of the Supreme Court and Donald picks a fight with Chief Justice Roberts. Pretty safe to say impulse control is not Trump’s strong suit.

 

Suggestion from George Takei on Twitter -“For those of you forced to sit with Trump-supporting relatives on Thursday, when they bring up migrant caravans or witch hunts or Brett Kavanaugh or anything else that Twitler spews, just smile and say, “Looks like Nancy Pelosi will be Speaker soon. Would you pass the gravy?””

Way over

November 21, 2018

So have the Rams and Chiefs stopped scoring yet?

UCF is actually AHEAD of OhioState in the  CFP rankings. “I feel so sorry for Urban Meyer” said no one outside Columbus.

Trump leaves town for first visit of year to Mar-A-Lago and woeful Washington Wizards rally for their biggest win of the season against LA Clippers.  Coincidence?

Rolling Stones will play in Santa Clara’s Levi’s Stadium in May. Might be the first announced sell-out in years where fans will actually be in the seats.

Over-under for Rams Chiefs game yesterday was 64. Can only imagine what it might be if the Saints play either or both those teams in the postseason.

..

NBC is giving Megyn Kelly a $30 million severance package. Performers on SNL make from $7,500 to $25,000 an episode, with most of them at the lower range. Live from New York – Pass the Popcorn..

Ivanka Trump’s use of personal emails brings to mind the old joke about ignorance and apathy. Did she not know or not care?

 

So if Osama Bin Laden had rented out a bunch of rooms in Trump hotels and bought a lot of condos would Donald Trump have said “maybe he did and maybe he didn’t order 9-11?”

Now that Nancy Pelosi appears to have cemented her power and the Democrats seem on their way to calling off the circular firing squad, for now, too soon to start a poll on when Donald Trump will attack her again?

 

 

Wonder what Trump would do if someone told him the Saudis helped Hillary Clinton kill Vince Foster?

Donald Trump wanted not only to prosecute his vanquished foe Hillary Clinton but also Comey. Seriously, James Comey? Is that any kind of gratitude for someone who gave Trump the White House?

 

Trump tweet of the night “So-called comedian Michelle Wolf bombed so badly last year at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner that this year, for the first time in decades, they will have an author instead of a comedian. Good first step in comeback of a dying evening and tradition! Maybe I will go?”
Okay, it’s a capitalist country. Who’s going to put a comedy show on with Michelle Wolf to compete with WHCA dinner and kill them in the ratings?

So about MNF.

November 19, 2018

What Arena Football stadium did they play it in?

 

Rams and Chiefs together in ONE game put up more than 70% of the points Arizona Cardinals have put up all season. (105 to 145.)

On the other hand, 7 combined turnovers?  5 from Mahomes and 2 from Goff.  Not perhaps the most perfect game.
Uh, really? Arkansas suspended two DB for their final football game against Missouri for taking photos and talking with members of Mississippi State’s dance team before kickoff last weekend.
Yeah, fraternizing with cheerleaders must be the reason the Razorbacks lost 52-6. #Priorities
So the Washington Redskins have now signed Mark Sanchez as backup QB? Talk about a butt fumble.

A Norwegian Cruise Line ship that left on a 10-day Caribbean cruise Friday broke down in Puerto Rico and NCL has had to cancel the rest of the cruise. Not sure what will be worse for many passengers, missing out on a vacation, or having to spend Thanksgiving at home with their families?

So I understand that Donald Trump is too big a snowflake to attend WHCA dinner.
What I don’t understand is why WHCA is so cowardly they don’t even want to hurt his feelings in absentia.

San Francisco’s Madame Tussaud’s just debuted their wax Donald Trump. I am not making this next statement up, from museum marketing director Matthew Clarkson – “Every other wax figure at Madame Tussauds has human hair, but Trump’s orange mane could not be realistically duplicated with anything human. The sculptor settled on yak hair.”
When her father’s number one campaign promise was in response to Hillary Clinton’s emails – #LockHerUp – and she claims she “didn’t know the rules” there’s only one question for Ivanka Trump-
Are you dumb as a rock. Or do you believe we are?”
Kellyanne Conway: “No president has shown greater respect for the military and the veterans.”
Almost. What she meant to say was “If we had no president, an empty chair would have shown greater respect for the military and the veterans.”
So will Donald Trump pardon a Thanksgiving turkey this year? Or will he just say “Forget it, I like turkeys that don’t get captured.”

Marching and running and passing in….

November 19, 2018

Not sure what’s more miraculous this year. That the Saints offense is so dazzling? Or that the Saints defense is actually competent.

Would like to thank the Saints today for providing a lovely few hours diversion from all the current crap in the world. (Eagles fans can disregard this statement.)

Somehow I can’t find a score. Anyone know how 49ers did against Bye Week?

Gregg Popovich has indicated he doesn’t want to coach forever, Steve Kerr could get tired of locker-room drama. Looking better and better for

From an anonymous friend – “What if we could mobilize 15,000 golf caddies and send them to CA to rake forest floors with their sand-trap rakes? Anyone know someone who owns a bunch of golf courses?”

Another inhuman thing about Donald Trump, besides not owning a pet, is there any evidence that he actually has a favorite sports team?

The Cleveland Browns are reportedly interviewing Condoleezza Rice to be their head coach.
Your sad reminder that the job George W. Bush really wanted was commissioner of Major League Baseball.

 

For those wondering, why Donald Trump might be acting particularly unhinged lately, your reminder that due to election, weather, mass shootings and fires, he hasn’t been able to golf for several weeks. Womp Womp

Asked to grade his presidency, Donald Trump “I would give myself an A+, is that enough? Can I go higher than that?”
Another step closer to his own DSM page.

Two close elections remind us, again, that there is nothing REALLY wrong with Florida that couldn’t be fixed by removing the Panhandle and making it officially part of Alabama.

So Donald Trump says he hasn’t listened to the Khashoggi murder tape. Maybe because he already heard the script in advance?

As Speaker John Boehner regularly used his young conservative members as a reason he couldn’t make more liberal compromises with Obama.  Nancy Pelosi as Speaker can play the same hand in reverse and better.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I like Sherrod Brown of Ohio, it’s possible Democrats may need a white man to win the Presidency in 2020.
But just pointing out. Sherrod, while a friend of Bernie’s, endorsed Hillary Clinton in 2016.

Fools Golden Knights?

November 18, 2018

So who do the powers that be in college football dread more having playoff credibility – University of Central Florida or Washington State?

Here’s an idea. Any “Power 5” conference team that makes it to College Football Playoff with 1 or more losses, is REQUIRED to schedule a game with any undefeated FBS team excluded from playoffs.

 

Notre Dame beat Syracuse 36-3.   The Fighting Irish, now 3-0 in games played at the Yankee Stadium do seem seems like a good fit to play in the Bronx –  it’s a close call whose fans are more full of themselves.

Not only was Alabama unscored upon in November,  The Citadel scored more against Alabama than Missouri, Ole Miss, Mississippi State or LSU.

 

Ohio State beats Maryland by 1, Penn State beats Rutgers by 13, Alabama only beats Citadel by 33. Biggest losers today – betters who took favorites with the spread.

Royal Caribbean’s new Symphony of the Seas, the largest cruise ship ever to sail out of Miami, has 18 decks. Making the odds of leaving your phone, book or sunscreen at least 15 decks away, better than you think.

Retired Forest Service scientist on Camp Fire fires “Vast majority of land that has burned so far is in private ownership. Therefore, managing land & vegetation in that area is up to individual landowner.”

And isn’t Trump all about ending expensive government regulation

Trump administration denied today that they had made a final determination on Jamal Khashoggi’s murder.
So assume the choice is between ignorance and apathy – “We don’t know.” Or “We don’t care.”

So California should rake our forest floors. But hey, you red states, go on cutting regulations and building codes and keep right on putting houses in tornado and hurricane zones.

There were some MAGA Trump Suporters wearing masks when Donald Trump tour Northern California this morning. Wait… masks? Presumably to protect from smoke?  I thought Trumpsters didn’t believe in science.

 

“We just hugged them and we kissed them — and everybody. And it was very warm. It was tragic, and yet in one way it was a very beautiful moment.” Trump after visiting Thousand Oaks shooting victims. This man is sick. Period.

Rivalries and other games.

November 17, 2018

Vandals broke into a box intended to protect the UCLA Bruin Bear and spray-painted USC colors on it.
Poor Bruin must have been guarded by the UCLA offensive line

 

At Friday’s Medal of Honor ceremony,  ceremony, Donald Trump stated that ‘”most people don’t know that Babe Ruth was a pitcher.” Translation, somebody just told Trump.

And not that he may have ever had it, but just guessing Trump has lost Madison Bumgarner’s vote.

Phillies owner John Middleton on free agents “We’re expecting to spend money, and maybe even be a little bit stupid about it.”
Does that mean Philadelphia wants to sign Manny Machado?

If you didn’t know how bad air quality is in Northern California already – Big Game between Cal and Stanford has just been rescheduled to Dec. 1.

On a day when Sarah Sanders says there must be “decorum” in the White House, William Goldman, screenwriter for “The Princess Bride” dies. So in his honor, a rousing chorus of “I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”

Betsy DeVos’s armed security detail will cost taxpayers almost $20 million through Sept 2019. So the billionaire who can afford TEN yachts (no joke) needs taxpayers to protect her from… grizzlies?

Betsy DeVos now wants sexual harassment defined as unwanted sexual conduct is “so severe, pervasive and objectively offensive” that the victim cannot return to school. Meanwhile taxpayers will pay $20 MILLION for Devos’s government security detail. Are we great yet?

Thinking if all journalists really care about freedom of the press then during next White House Press Conference when Trump calls on them instead of Acosta they should yield to CNN.

Trump on California Wildfires “Nobody’s ever seen what’s going on there, now they’re saying could be as many as 600, could be as many as 600 people killed – up by 400. Burned beyond recognition, they can’t even see the bodies, it’s incredible.” I miss having a human President.

#TrumpAChristmasSong
“I saw mommy being groped by Santa Claus.”
(have at it readers and friends.)

Never on Sunday?

November 15, 2018

After their 50 yr sellout streak ended, this year the Redskins, at 74.9% have the lowest percentage of home seats filled for 2018 in the NFL. Shocking. This is the first year Washington fans have figured out tickets aren’t worth it?

Golden State Warriors have to be thankful for one thing tonight. Packers and Seahawks are playing a close game on Thursday Night Football.

Miami Marlins will have new logos and uniforms next year.
Unfortunately, those new uniforms will have the same players in them.

The Detroit Tigers’ stadium worker who was fired for spitting on a pizza has been sentenced to 18 months of probation.
When probation’s over wonder if the Red Sox want to hire him at Fenway to serve Yankees fans?”

With an assist from Scott Russell. A Comerica Park stadium worker who spit on a pizza has been placed on probation. He was fired by the Detroit Tigers, but reportedly has a call from Los Angeles – they think he might be able to improve the taste of Dodger Dogs.

Donald Trump  – “Sometimes they go to their car, put on a different hat, put on a different shirt, come in and vote again.”
Uh, really? That tactic won’t even get you a second bobblehead.

To cut costs, NRA has stopped serving free coffee to employees at their headquarters.
Armed people without their caffeine fix, what could go wrong?

So really, with all the breaches and security issues, Facebook wants me to “add your phone number to help secure your account”??!!
Three letters. N.F.W.

 

Some controversy now on Michael Avenatti’s domestic violence arrest; but whether he is guilty or innocent has NOTHING to do with Stormy Daniels’ having told the truth. Period.

Ohio today passed a bill outlawing abortion after 6-7 weeks. At the same time the state has abstinence only sex-ed programs that mean many young women especially may not realize they are pregnant by 6-7 weeks.
Once again, pro-life my ass.

To be fair, maybe reason Donald Trump is so unhinged this morning is that he left White House without ID and store wouldn’t let him buy his Fruit Loops.

Small children hate losing. And until they reach the age of reason get a conscience, many will insist they only lost because another child cheated.
“This is a problem in California that’s so bad of illegals voting. This is a California problem and if you notice, almost every race — I was watching today — out of like 11 races that are in question they’re gonna win all of them.”- Trump to the Daily Caller today.

We go lower

November 15, 2018

Just think, if we didn’t have politics  the country could be focused on serious matters like  Draymond Green calling Kevin Durant a bitch….

 

SF 49ers game against Seattle Seahawks has been moved from Sunday Night Football to an afternoon game.
Because NFL has decided the 49ers have no chance to overtake Raiders for #1 draft pick?

Although USC, 5-5, needs to beat UCLA to be bowl-eligible, Clay Helton says he expects to remain coach, and that the university gives him “a lot of support.”
Translation, the Trojans can’t figure out who else might want to take on this current mess.

New New Orleans Saint Brandon Marshall,  the “narrative is that I’m done.”  Not that coach Sean Payton would have any idea what do with a new toy carrying a chip on his  shoulder.

R.I.P Douglas Rain, 90, the actor best known for voicing the computer HAL in “2001: A Space Odyssey,”. Wonder when he asks for the Pearly Gates to be opened if St Peter will respond ” Sorry, Doug, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Benshot, a 16 person Wisconsin company decided to give all their employees handguns for Christmas, for “employee safety” and because it’s “kind of fun and exciting.”
Well, and you thought your office Christmas party got out of control the time people got drunk and argumentative….

Got it,  First Lady Melania Trump was more upset at deputy national security adviser Mira Ricardel, over seat assignments on a government plane than she was at women who slept with her husband?

As McConnell challenges the Dems to be “bipartisan,” your reminder of his January 2010 quote “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”

 

Is it time to point out if you check into a Trump hotel with a credit card they don’t ask for ID?

Trump now supporting bipartisan bill saying “We’re all better off when former inmates can receive and re-enter society as law-abiding, productive citizens.”
Translation, I’m concerned going forward about my staff and family

Why does Jeff Flake threatening to vote against Trump judge picks after McConnell blocks vote on Mueller protection bill bring to mind that image of Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown?. Again.

Changing venues?

November 14, 2018

NFL moving Chiefs Rams Monday Night Football game from Mexico City to Los Angeles. Wonder why the league didn’t consider Oakland? Fans there would love to watch professional football.

 

Tom Tolbert for reaction of the day on KNBR radio – upon hearing that Rams are going use USC’s practice facilities for their game now Monday in Los Angeles. “Well that’s cool, not like the Trojans are using them this year anyhow.”

Draymond Green had tantrum & argument with teammate, Steve Kerr puts him in a one-game time out. That moment when NBA coach shows more ability to manage people than President of the United States.

Marco Rubio, ranting about the Florida election “Imagine if NFL team was trailing 24-22 but in final seconds hits a 3 pt kick to win. Then AFTER game lawyers for losing team get a judge to order rules changed so that last second field goals are only 1 point

Uh, more like imagine if NFL team looked like they were trailing because refs were watching on tape delay and hadn’t seen all the scoring yet.

 

So how many years does UCF need to go undefeated to get into the College Football Playoffs top ten?

(and at this point, what major school will play them?)

After blaming video games in June, Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin now said “zombie” television shows are more to blame for mass shootings than guns.
Right, that’s why they have so many mass shootings in Japan.

As Melania Trump got rid of a top national security aide, perhaps useful to remember that GOP lost their collective sh*t when Hillary Clinton fired staffers in White House travel office.

Wonder how long it will take for Donald Trump to realize, that as much as he derided Jeff Flake, Flake almost ALWAYS voted with him.
Mean bitch karma must be wearing a Kyrsten Sinema button.

Texas Sen. John Cornyn “I think Director Mueller needs to wrap this thing up. He needs to finish his job. This thing has been hanging out there for a long time”
Mueller was appointed in May, 2017. The Clinton WHITEWATER investigation, (remember that?) went on over four years.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders reportedly will leave White House by the end of the year. Because she already has a lifetime supply of burnt facts for her eyeliner?

Sen. Mitch McConnell in an op-ed piece for Fox News “Will Dems work with us, or simply put partisan politics ahead of the country?”
For an enlightened response, can someone ask Justice Merrick Garland?

If there are any ballot-designers with time on their hands and a sense of civic duty could you PLEASE contact Florida? Before 2020?

Stumbling on.

November 13, 2018

So what’s next Sunday’s spread for 49ers vs. bye week?

Do have to feel sorry for all those die-hard 49ers fans who risked bronchial ailments to sit outside for several hours in smoky air and still saw their team lose to the… NY Giants?

Well, at least frustrated San Francisco area sports fans could turn the channel on the 49ers to watch another Warriors win.  Oops, never mind.

Meanwhile, New Orleans coach Sean Payton broke a fire alarm that kept going off yesterday at Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinnati “I just needed the noise to stop.” Payton said he will pay for damage.
Roger Goodell no doubt trying to figure out a way to punish Saints for it.

Golden State Warriors now selling an “in the building pass,” $100 a month. You can’t even SEE the court, but you can watch game on TV in club and bar areas at Oracle, and of course pay arena prices for food and drink.
Can only imagine what it will be like when the team “upgrades” to SF. A fee to come within 100 yards of Chase Center and bask in the aura?

 

Senator-elect Sinema. It has a nice ring to it.

 

Trump ranting in today’s fundraising email about “mythical blue wave” and Democrats trying to steal election by “miraculously finding bins of votes.”
Has anyone told him how absentee ballots work?

Oh, and btw, many of those absentee ballots, which are not due until Friday, are from ACTIVE-DUTY MILITARY.

With windy weather and rain in the forecast, Trump is not going to Arlington Cemetery today, Veterans Day.
If only we buried troops on a golf course.

T.C. suggests that “maybe bone spurs act up in the rain?”

Roberta K’s  on Trump’s idea of “forest management  – let the Kochs send in Georgia Pacific to rid the state of all those pesky trees. Boom, no more forests, no more forest fires!”

Yes, Hillary Clinton running again in 2020 is a bad idea. But she is NOT running. Can we please focus on something important?

 

Michelle Obama says she told Melania Trump she could reach out to her with questions at any time, as Laura Bush did for her when Barack was elected, but Melania has never called.
White House response- -“Trump is a strong and independent woman who has been navigating her role as First Lady in her own way. When she needs advice on any issue, she seeks it from her professional team within the White House.”
Right, and Melania’s speechwriter has access to Michelle’s speeches online anyhow.

Final thought for the night.  Trump took Veterans’ Day off. Mueller didn’t.

Unexpected.

November 11, 2018

 

Monday Night Football will feature the NY Giants vs. SF 49ers.  “I’ll take ‘games that looked better when they drew up the schedule’ for $400, Alex.”

The Cleveland Browns have now won 2 more games this season than the Cavaliers?

Wait a minute, the team with a two-game lead in the NFC East is the… Washington Redskins?   And they have twice as many wins as the Wizards.

 

On a lighter note, who says a week before  Big Game that Cal and Stanford can’t get along? Especially when it comes to beating the USC  Trojans.

Age and treachery  (and skill)  department  – Drew Brees threw as many touchdown passes (three) as incompletions, going 22 of 25 passes for 265 yards and three touchdowns.  (And he would have had 4 TD passes but one was overturned as the runner not breaking the plane of the end zone.)

And while some say the Saints should have left their punter home for the trip to Cincinnati – he never kicked. Morstead did do a fine job as the holder for New Orleans placekicks.

-On Sunday Night Football, on November 11, Walmart is running a CHRISTMAS ad. Can we get bipartisan agreement that this is wrong?

In a time where we don’t have much in the way of unity in this country,  who’d expect Pete Davidson on Weekend Update to apologize in person for a joke to Dan Crenshaw, the vet who lost an eye in Afghanistan?  And they both handled it beautifully.  That moment when SNL shows more leadership than the White House.

Probably too soon to tell if Nancy Pelosi will absolutely return to her position as Speaker of the House.  But interesting how no one says that Mitch McConnell is too old and should step down from a leadership position.

The President who claims he’d rush in to face a school shooter won’t visit the American cemetery in France today due to weather.

With all due respect,  Donald Trump has played golf frequently in worse weather than he canceled visit to US cemetery in France.

Can anyone imagine if Barack Obama had blamed red states for hurricane or tornado destruction and deaths by saying they should have had better building codes?

Not that any President could make the California fires go away. But it would feel better to have a Consoler in Chief right now (And for that matter have to figure troops could do more in California right now than sitting on the border)

Apparently Trump doesn’t want to give Puerto Rico any more federal recovery money because he claims, without evidence that the island using  disaster relief funds to pay off debt.  Can only imagine what excuse he will use to deny California.

One thing I don’t get – almost all of us are petty about something. But Trump is petty about EVERYTHING.

Turning a page, if not a ballot

November 10, 2018

Joe Mauer, 35,  announced his retirement Friday.

“So young?” replied Jamie Moyer.

Well, Saints were undefeated in the Dez Bryant era.

 

Sports can make things complicated  – that moment when you really don’t like Ben Roethlisberger over his past sexual assault allegations, but you aren’t unhappy as a Saints fans over Panthers getting beat.

 

Meanwhile, Louisville football is had a rough night, losing by 31 points to Syracuse. Any chance they could play a more evenly matched opponent, like the Raiders?

 

Josh Harder now leading Jeff Denham in . GOP in California is one addition I wouldn’t mind seeing on the endangered species list.

 

Rick Scott: “I will not sit idly by while unethical liberals try to steal this election from the  great people of Florida.”

Because Scott thought GOP had already stolen it fair and square?

Do people realize MANY states haven’t finished counting absentee and provisional ballots yet, including California? So this is business as usual. It’s just that most elections aren’t that close.

How long until other democracies around the world start sending election observers into Florida and Georgia?

Hoping Florida with this ballot counting doesn’t become our next Fort Sumter.

 

We’re a long way from over. But mean bitch karma will be quite pleased if Jeff Flake’s s Senate seat is taken by a Democratic woman.

Hey Jeff Flake, how about going out with honor and defending the Arizona vote counting procedure? And congratulating Kyrsten Senima?  Seriously.

If Trump and GOP could they’d restrict voting to white male land-owners.

Trump already might as well be the dictionary definition of “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”

Can we add him under despicable?

“There is no reason for these massive, deadly and costly forest fires in California except that forest management is so poor. Billions of dollars are given each year, with so many lives lost, all because of gross mismanagement of the forests. Remedy now, or no more Fed payments!”

The only way Trump would show ANY sympathy at all towards those affected by California fires is if someone told him they were started by an illegal immigrant.

Almost back to sports.

November 8, 2018

Meanwhile,  the SF Giants hired away Los Angeles Dodgers GM Farhan Zaidi to be their head of baseball operations.

Will Dodgers demand a recount?

New NY Mets GM Brodie Van Wagenen just said Tim Tebow has earned the right to start  2019 season for a Triple A team.

Does that mean Tebow will be starting for the Mets?

 

On a nonpolitical note, Dez Bryant, cut by the Cowboys this April, has just signed with the Saints. Mark your calendars for Thursday Night Football, 11/29 when New Orleans plays Dallas.
And have popcorn ready.

Maybe the best election story of the year, Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis, who refused to issue same-sex marriage certificates after marriage equality ruling, just lost her bid for re-election for a man to whom she denied a marriage license.

But Laura Kelly over Kris Kobach for Governor might be the best story out of Kansas since Dorothy took care of those witches.

If Trump really believes  he “won” last night’s election, can just imagine how he fills out his golf scorecard.

Seen a few headlines about no Russian hacking this election. Uh, respectfully speaking, how the bleep would we know?

“Mommy, there’s a man having a tantrum on TV, how come he doesn’t get a timeout?”

Pre-school children watching this morning’s Trump press conference.

 

Anyone who knew nothing about the United States and watched today’s press conferences would think Nancy Pelosi  was President and Donald Trump  was an unhinged member of the opposition.

If Fox News remains complicit in White House revocation of Jim Acosta’s press pass, are they saying the next Democratic president can kick out whoever he or she dislikes?

The same Donald Trump who said he’d run into a school to face an armed killer is terrified of an unarmed man like Jim Acosta who asks real questions.

 

So many nail-biter elections this year, some still too close to call. But may I respectfully say to all you “principled” liberal voters who just had to cast a third-party ballot in a race expected to be tight – when are you going to grow the f*ck up?

 

So if Twitter had been around earlier would Trump have told his first two wives he was divorcing them by tweet?

To paraphrase an old anti-war slogan ” Hey hey Donald Trump, how many will you fire if they don’t kiss your rump?”