Archive for November 2018

Almost turkey time.

November 21, 2018

Derek Carr – “I want to mess up the draft I don’t want the first pick. I want to win all these games. I want everybody to be mad at me for that. That’s what I want to accomplish.”
Let’s see, Oakland Raiders do still have a game against Broncos, but they also play the  Ravens, Bengals, Steelers, and Chiefs, Kansas City TWICE.  Is Carr trying to be drug-tested?

Manny Machado is saying he didn’t really mean his “not going to be Johnny Hustle” comment “I was trying to talk about how I’m not the guy who is eye wash…” Translation, okay, I wasn’t thinking how much this might cost me in free agency.

After a number of  “off-field issues”,  Miami Hurricanes have announced starting wide receiver Jeff Thomas is no longer part of the football program.  Too soon to start a pool on which SEC team will decide Thomas needs a second chance?

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving Eve. Otherwise known as “As God Is My Witness I’ll Never Go To The Grocery Store Again” Day.

High winds may ground Macy’s Thanksgiving balloons tomorrow. Suppose it would be really tacky to make a joke about biggest bloated orange balloon having abandoned NY for Florida?

After being criticized for not visiting the troops, Trump has decided to do a teleconference with the military on Thanksgiving.

 

Oh, I’m sure seeing POTUS on his golf course in the Florida sunshine before he eats a dinner at his gold-plated private club will do wonders for troop morale.

 

Uh, Donald Trump “The largest sources of U.S. imported oil: Canada (40%), Saudi Arabia (11%), Venezuela (9%), Mexico (8%), and Colombia (4%).”
So where’s the thanks to Justin Trudeau? And Canada doesn’t kill journalists.

Because nothing says being Presidential like starting a feud with the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court the day before Thanksgiving.
Are we great yet?

 

It is possible that the fate of Trump’s presidency may lie in the hands of the Supreme Court and Donald picks a fight with Chief Justice Roberts. Pretty safe to say impulse control is not Trump’s strong suit.

 

Suggestion from George Takei on Twitter -“For those of you forced to sit with Trump-supporting relatives on Thursday, when they bring up migrant caravans or witch hunts or Brett Kavanaugh or anything else that Twitler spews, just smile and say, “Looks like Nancy Pelosi will be Speaker soon. Would you pass the gravy?””

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Way over

November 21, 2018

So have the Rams and Chiefs stopped scoring yet?

UCF is actually AHEAD of OhioState in the  CFP rankings. “I feel so sorry for Urban Meyer” said no one outside Columbus.

Trump leaves town for first visit of year to Mar-A-Lago and woeful Washington Wizards rally for their biggest win of the season against LA Clippers.  Coincidence?

Rolling Stones will play in Santa Clara’s Levi’s Stadium in May. Might be the first announced sell-out in years where fans will actually be in the seats.

Over-under for Rams Chiefs game yesterday was 64. Can only imagine what it might be if the Saints play either or both those teams in the postseason.

..

NBC is giving Megyn Kelly a $30 million severance package. Performers on SNL make from $7,500 to $25,000 an episode, with most of them at the lower range. Live from New York – Pass the Popcorn..

Ivanka Trump’s use of personal emails brings to mind the old joke about ignorance and apathy. Did she not know or not care?

 

So if Osama Bin Laden had rented out a bunch of rooms in Trump hotels and bought a lot of condos would Donald Trump have said “maybe he did and maybe he didn’t order 9-11?”

Now that Nancy Pelosi appears to have cemented her power and the Democrats seem on their way to calling off the circular firing squad, for now, too soon to start a poll on when Donald Trump will attack her again?

 

 

Wonder what Trump would do if someone told him the Saudis helped Hillary Clinton kill Vince Foster?

Donald Trump wanted not only to prosecute his vanquished foe Hillary Clinton but also Comey. Seriously, James Comey? Is that any kind of gratitude for someone who gave Trump the White House?

 

Trump tweet of the night “So-called comedian Michelle Wolf bombed so badly last year at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner that this year, for the first time in decades, they will have an author instead of a comedian. Good first step in comeback of a dying evening and tradition! Maybe I will go?”
Okay, it’s a capitalist country. Who’s going to put a comedy show on with Michelle Wolf to compete with WHCA dinner and kill them in the ratings?

So about MNF.

November 19, 2018

What Arena Football stadium did they play it in?

 

Rams and Chiefs together in ONE game put up more than 70% of the points Arizona Cardinals have put up all season. (105 to 145.)

On the other hand, 7 combined turnovers?  5 from Mahomes and 2 from Goff.  Not perhaps the most perfect game.
Uh, really? Arkansas suspended two DB for their final football game against Missouri for taking photos and talking with members of Mississippi State’s dance team before kickoff last weekend.
Yeah, fraternizing with cheerleaders must be the reason the Razorbacks lost 52-6. #Priorities
So the Washington Redskins have now signed Mark Sanchez as backup QB? Talk about a butt fumble.

A Norwegian Cruise Line ship that left on a 10-day Caribbean cruise Friday broke down in Puerto Rico and NCL has had to cancel the rest of the cruise. Not sure what will be worse for many passengers, missing out on a vacation, or having to spend Thanksgiving at home with their families?

So I understand that Donald Trump is too big a snowflake to attend WHCA dinner.
What I don’t understand is why WHCA is so cowardly they don’t even want to hurt his feelings in absentia.

San Francisco’s Madame Tussaud’s just debuted their wax Donald Trump. I am not making this next statement up, from museum marketing director Matthew Clarkson – “Every other wax figure at Madame Tussauds has human hair, but Trump’s orange mane could not be realistically duplicated with anything human. The sculptor settled on yak hair.”
When her father’s number one campaign promise was in response to Hillary Clinton’s emails – #LockHerUp – and she claims she “didn’t know the rules” there’s only one question for Ivanka Trump-
Are you dumb as a rock. Or do you believe we are?”
Kellyanne Conway: “No president has shown greater respect for the military and the veterans.”
Almost. What she meant to say was “If we had no president, an empty chair would have shown greater respect for the military and the veterans.”
So will Donald Trump pardon a Thanksgiving turkey this year? Or will he just say “Forget it, I like turkeys that don’t get captured.”

Marching and running and passing in….

November 19, 2018

Not sure what’s more miraculous this year. That the Saints offense is so dazzling? Or that the Saints defense is actually competent.

Would like to thank the Saints today for providing a lovely few hours diversion from all the current crap in the world. (Eagles fans can disregard this statement.)

Somehow I can’t find a score. Anyone know how 49ers did against Bye Week?

Gregg Popovich has indicated he doesn’t want to coach forever, Steve Kerr could get tired of locker-room drama. Looking better and better for

From an anonymous friend – “What if we could mobilize 15,000 golf caddies and send them to CA to rake forest floors with their sand-trap rakes? Anyone know someone who owns a bunch of golf courses?”

Another inhuman thing about Donald Trump, besides not owning a pet, is there any evidence that he actually has a favorite sports team?

The Cleveland Browns are reportedly interviewing Condoleezza Rice to be their head coach.
Your sad reminder that the job George W. Bush really wanted was commissioner of Major League Baseball.

 

For those wondering, why Donald Trump might be acting particularly unhinged lately, your reminder that due to election, weather, mass shootings and fires, he hasn’t been able to golf for several weeks. Womp Womp

Asked to grade his presidency, Donald Trump “I would give myself an A+, is that enough? Can I go higher than that?”
Another step closer to his own DSM page.

Two close elections remind us, again, that there is nothing REALLY wrong with Florida that couldn’t be fixed by removing the Panhandle and making it officially part of Alabama.

So Donald Trump says he hasn’t listened to the Khashoggi murder tape. Maybe because he already heard the script in advance?

As Speaker John Boehner regularly used his young conservative members as a reason he couldn’t make more liberal compromises with Obama.  Nancy Pelosi as Speaker can play the same hand in reverse and better.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I like Sherrod Brown of Ohio, it’s possible Democrats may need a white man to win the Presidency in 2020.
But just pointing out. Sherrod, while a friend of Bernie’s, endorsed Hillary Clinton in 2016.

Fools Golden Knights?

November 18, 2018

So who do the powers that be in college football dread more having playoff credibility – University of Central Florida or Washington State?

Here’s an idea. Any “Power 5” conference team that makes it to College Football Playoff with 1 or more losses, is REQUIRED to schedule a game with any undefeated FBS team excluded from playoffs.

 

Notre Dame beat Syracuse 36-3.   The Fighting Irish, now 3-0 in games played at the Yankee Stadium do seem seems like a good fit to play in the Bronx –  it’s a close call whose fans are more full of themselves.

Not only was Alabama unscored upon in November,  The Citadel scored more against Alabama than Missouri, Ole Miss, Mississippi State or LSU.

 

Ohio State beats Maryland by 1, Penn State beats Rutgers by 13, Alabama only beats Citadel by 33. Biggest losers today – betters who took favorites with the spread.

Royal Caribbean’s new Symphony of the Seas, the largest cruise ship ever to sail out of Miami, has 18 decks. Making the odds of leaving your phone, book or sunscreen at least 15 decks away, better than you think.

Retired Forest Service scientist on Camp Fire fires “Vast majority of land that has burned so far is in private ownership. Therefore, managing land & vegetation in that area is up to individual landowner.”

And isn’t Trump all about ending expensive government regulation

Trump administration denied today that they had made a final determination on Jamal Khashoggi’s murder.
So assume the choice is between ignorance and apathy – “We don’t know.” Or “We don’t care.”

So California should rake our forest floors. But hey, you red states, go on cutting regulations and building codes and keep right on putting houses in tornado and hurricane zones.

There were some MAGA Trump Suporters wearing masks when Donald Trump tour Northern California this morning. Wait… masks? Presumably to protect from smoke?  I thought Trumpsters didn’t believe in science.

 

“We just hugged them and we kissed them — and everybody. And it was very warm. It was tragic, and yet in one way it was a very beautiful moment.” Trump after visiting Thousand Oaks shooting victims. This man is sick. Period.

Rivalries and other games.

November 17, 2018

Vandals broke into a box intended to protect the UCLA Bruin Bear and spray-painted USC colors on it.
Poor Bruin must have been guarded by the UCLA offensive line

 

At Friday’s Medal of Honor ceremony,  ceremony, Donald Trump stated that ‘”most people don’t know that Babe Ruth was a pitcher.” Translation, somebody just told Trump.

And not that he may have ever had it, but just guessing Trump has lost Madison Bumgarner’s vote.

Phillies owner John Middleton on free agents “We’re expecting to spend money, and maybe even be a little bit stupid about it.”
Does that mean Philadelphia wants to sign Manny Machado?

If you didn’t know how bad air quality is in Northern California already – Big Game between Cal and Stanford has just been rescheduled to Dec. 1.

On a day when Sarah Sanders says there must be “decorum” in the White House, William Goldman, screenwriter for “The Princess Bride” dies. So in his honor, a rousing chorus of “I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”

Betsy DeVos’s armed security detail will cost taxpayers almost $20 million through Sept 2019. So the billionaire who can afford TEN yachts (no joke) needs taxpayers to protect her from… grizzlies?

Betsy DeVos now wants sexual harassment defined as unwanted sexual conduct is “so severe, pervasive and objectively offensive” that the victim cannot return to school. Meanwhile taxpayers will pay $20 MILLION for Devos’s government security detail. Are we great yet?

Thinking if all journalists really care about freedom of the press then during next White House Press Conference when Trump calls on them instead of Acosta they should yield to CNN.

Trump on California Wildfires “Nobody’s ever seen what’s going on there, now they’re saying could be as many as 600, could be as many as 600 people killed – up by 400. Burned beyond recognition, they can’t even see the bodies, it’s incredible.” I miss having a human President.

#TrumpAChristmasSong
“I saw mommy being groped by Santa Claus.”
(have at it readers and friends.)

Never on Sunday?

November 15, 2018

After their 50 yr sellout streak ended, this year the Redskins, at 74.9% have the lowest percentage of home seats filled for 2018 in the NFL. Shocking. This is the first year Washington fans have figured out tickets aren’t worth it?

Golden State Warriors have to be thankful for one thing tonight. Packers and Seahawks are playing a close game on Thursday Night Football.

Miami Marlins will have new logos and uniforms next year.
Unfortunately, those new uniforms will have the same players in them.

The Detroit Tigers’ stadium worker who was fired for spitting on a pizza has been sentenced to 18 months of probation.
When probation’s over wonder if the Red Sox want to hire him at Fenway to serve Yankees fans?”

With an assist from Scott Russell. A Comerica Park stadium worker who spit on a pizza has been placed on probation. He was fired by the Detroit Tigers, but reportedly has a call from Los Angeles – they think he might be able to improve the taste of Dodger Dogs.

Donald Trump  – “Sometimes they go to their car, put on a different hat, put on a different shirt, come in and vote again.”
Uh, really? That tactic won’t even get you a second bobblehead.

To cut costs, NRA has stopped serving free coffee to employees at their headquarters.
Armed people without their caffeine fix, what could go wrong?

So really, with all the breaches and security issues, Facebook wants me to “add your phone number to help secure your account”??!!
Three letters. N.F.W.

 

Some controversy now on Michael Avenatti’s domestic violence arrest; but whether he is guilty or innocent has NOTHING to do with Stormy Daniels’ having told the truth. Period.

Ohio today passed a bill outlawing abortion after 6-7 weeks. At the same time the state has abstinence only sex-ed programs that mean many young women especially may not realize they are pregnant by 6-7 weeks.
Once again, pro-life my ass.

To be fair, maybe reason Donald Trump is so unhinged this morning is that he left White House without ID and store wouldn’t let him buy his Fruit Loops.

Small children hate losing. And until they reach the age of reason get a conscience, many will insist they only lost because another child cheated.
“This is a problem in California that’s so bad of illegals voting. This is a California problem and if you notice, almost every race — I was watching today — out of like 11 races that are in question they’re gonna win all of them.”- Trump to the Daily Caller today.