Left Coast Sports Babe

It’s been a rough few weeks for Toronto with Leafs, then Raptors, then Blue Jays getting no-hit. But at least a Canadian team is in the @NHL Eastern Conference Finals. Even if it’s Winnipeg. #Smallmercies

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Matt Harvey going to start for Reds against Dodgers Friday. In Los Angeles. Will the team outfit him with an ankle monitor Thursday night?

Scary thing for SF Giants fans is that Harvey is now slated to face Giants on Wednesday afternoon. Where the way things are going these days he’ll get at least 15 strikeouts.

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Anyone but me get a restaurant or other business flyer under your windshield wiper, which from a distance looks like a parking ticket, and make a decision – NEVER patronize that business?

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Preet Bharara is apparently considering a run for NY attorney general. And mean bitch Karma is out looking for popcorn.

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Oliver North on the Parkland teen survivors “They’re not activists — this is civil terrorism.” But all those mass shooters, they’re just mentally ill. #WTF?

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Trump is being so nice about North Korea you wonder if they’ve given him a contract to build a Trump hotel there?

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Two questions of the day. Who else paid Michael Cohen? And who else did Michael Cohen pay off?

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So the Stable Genius not only had no idea who his lawyer was paying off, he had no idea who his lawyer was getting millions from?

It’s really really hard to win the title “Most Reprehensible” in @realDonaldTrump administration. But @kellysadler45 has it for today.

Trump talked casually at his #Elkhart rally about getting an extension for the presidency” beyond 8 years. And lo and behold, Fox suddenly decided to cover the volcano in Hawaii…. Guess he wasn’t supposed to leak that?

After receiving a text from Tom Brady  Ichiro reportedly responded “Who the f*** is Tom Brady?”

Meaning that outside of Boston area, Ichiro just became a lot of NFL fans’ all time favorite baseball player.

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Question after watching tonight’s Phillies-Giants blowout.  If you shouldn’t bunt when you are down 10 runs, why should you be able to shift when you are up 10 runs?

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SF Giants game tomorrow is broadcast not on TV on Facebook. The way Giants are playing in Philly would be better if there were a Bay Area blackout.

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So Mark Ingram claims through his agents that he tested positive for a substance that was “permissible with the proper use exemption with the NFL.”

Thinking, why didn’t he hire agents who could get him the ‘proper use exemption with the NFL”?

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Wait a minute, all three Americans freed by North Korea were originally immigrants to the US. Does that mean Trump will soon be sending them back?

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Today Sarah Huckabee Sanders said Trump is ‘committed to a free press.” Let me correct her slip of the tongue. She meant “Trump wants the free press committed.”

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So does anyone really think #ATT and #Novartis were the only companies who paid Cohen?

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A scary thought, people who only watch Fox News probably have no idea who @MichaelAvenatti is.

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Trump already doesn’t have press conferences & only takes questions from friendly reporters. Now “Why do we work so hard in working with the media when it is corrupt? Take away credentials?”
I liked “1984” better when it was satire.

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How long until Trump decides to announce he is renaming the US “Trump Oceania.”

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Gina Haspel says she doesn’t think President Trump would ask her for a pledge of loyalty. Forget the torture issue. If she really believes that Haspel is too STUPID to be CIA director.

For CFL (Canadian football league) and Grey Cup champion Toronto Argonauts.    Their first game, June 1.

Which will be very welcome up north, because…

Raptors getting steamrolled and swept by Cavs had to be most embarrassing story for Toronto sports teams in May.    Raptors against James Paxton  – “Hold our (Molson’s) beer.”

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Something about players named James in Toronto….. #Lebron #Paxton

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Baseball players being so superstitious, how long until other pitchers try to get an eagle to land on them too?

https://www.mlb.com/video/eagle-lands-on-paxton/c-1907594283

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So after last two nights in Philly can we put out an all-points bulletin for missing SF Giants bats?

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Saints’ Mark Ingram suspended 4 games for PEDs. Okay, here’s the poll question of the day. Will he claim “mistake in taking medication,” or “tainted supplement

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Proving that mean bitch karma is a sports fan: Matt Harvey refuses to go to a AAA team. And ends up with the 8-27 Reds.

Trump on ending the Iran deal “When I make promises I keep them.’ Except for example, “forsaking all others…

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Trump says Iran was the “dumbest deal ever.”   Not counting your lawyer paying significant money to a porn star you never had an affair with, not to talk about that non-existent affair…?

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Since Melania successfully coopied #BeBest how long until Donald  Trump resurrects same Iran deal Obama negotiated, slaps the Trump name on it, and demands Nobel Peace Prize?

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All this talk that pulling out of Iran deal might cause war, or at the least some major anti-USA terrorist act – wouldn’t that be exactly what Trump wants to help his poll numbers? #USAUSAUSA

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Rudy Giuliani said StormyDaniels “debased herself” by appearing on “SNL” So what was Rudy doing hosting the show in 1997?

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4.6 Earthquake near Los Angeles. No harm done. But Californians should realize if the big one hits, Trump’s response will no doubt make his response to Puerto Rico look great by comparison.

So was today the day that Michael Avenatti dropped a house on the first witch?

So Trump tears up Iran Deal, insulting France AND Germany. Russians may have deleted voters from US rolls, $500k payoff to Michael Cohen from Russian oligarch to Stormy Daniels payoff account, more money to Cohen from AT&T etc… . And it’s only Tuesday.

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Trump says pulling out of Iran deal sends message “The United States no longer makes empty threats.” Nope, it sends message that United States cannot be trusted on a deal.”

Raptors at least have done their part to keep Toronto sports fans from spending their whole summer off-season bitching about the Maple Leafs.

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Johnny Cueto out 6-8 weeks. SF Giants have been coping well without them. But if only they could somehow had another ace pitcher to the staff in a few weeks…….

Although damn, Giants had three proven starters this year,  Cueto, Madbum and Samardzija.  Looks like the wrong one stayed mostly healthy.

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Former Duke basketball star Wendell Carter’s mom compared NCAA basketball to slavery. Now, I’m proud to be liberal and dislike NCAA as much as anyone, but can we be little more selective throwing around terms like slavery? College IS a choice.

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Almost 2am Mondaywhen Cardinals beat Cubs with 14th inning comeback walk-off home run. Wonder how many thousands of people will say they were among the hundreds of fans still left at Busch Stadium.

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So it’s day 9, should we be putting Dennis Miller’s Michelle Wolf jokes on a milk-carton?

Melania would have used Michelle Obama’s slogan “Let’s Move.” Until she found out it didn’t mean “Let’s Move Out of the White House.” #BeBest

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Actually “As” are best. “Bs” are second best. Just saying. #BeBest

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LA judge rules coffee sold in California must have cancer warnings. What about warnings for possible homicides if many Americans don’t get their morning caffeine fix?

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Would GOP heads explode if when children are separated from their parents at the border, they got foster care offers from LGBT couples?

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Those who want to save Iran nuclear agreement are missing out on simplest solution – offer as substitute exact same deal but with Trump’s name on it. Mission accomplished.

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If someone says no difference between Democrats and Republicans there is at least this – Democrats likely to resign when faced with allegations of sexual abuse. GOP act like it’s badge of honor.

So what is Eliot Spitzer doing? Heck,  paying prostitutes now makes you Presidential even.

Mean bitch karma really wants to see Preet Bharara appointed to serve out Eric Schneiderman’s term.

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Trump proposes $15 billion in spending cuts. — $7 billion — would come from the Children’s Health Insurance Program. Once again, four words “Pro Life My Ass.”

A woman at a Texas racetrack made a  $18 “Pick 5” bet on a series of Kentucky Derby Day races, and won $1.2 million. Let me guess, she picked the horses for their colors?

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Who says I never say anything nice about LA Dodgers. Want to seriously thank them on behalf of SF Giants  fans for letting reliever Tony Watson go.

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Thinking not even Pete Rose would have bet on an expansion NHL team reaching the Western Conference Finals. #GoldenKnights

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Las Vegas Golden Knights and Tampa Bay Lightning should both do well with playoff ticket sales.   As we get into mid May guessing people in both cities will pay well for a chance to spend 2 hours inside out of 90 plus degree weather.

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Understand why MLB stops beer sales after the 7th inning.  But when games head into 14th inning, shouldn’t the league allow stadiums to sell just one more?  Or at least an Irish coffee?

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Add A-Rod to the list of athletes who is far more engaging in the broadcast booth than he ever was on the field. #SundayNightBaseball#MondayMorningBaseball.

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Nikki Haley says Mueller probe should not be shut down. Is she auditioning to be Kasich’s running mate in 2020?

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Just a reminder to the media. “Self-contradictory,” “questionable” “backtracking”. “misstatements…” It’s shorter and more accurate to use the word “lies.”

Just wondering, when child of a Trump supporter lies to his or her parents, do they give him a pass too? Especially if child says it was “necessary.”

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Trump will never admit he is wrong. Bet the man doesn’t even say ‘Excuse me” when he sneezes.”

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Guiliani, asked if Cohen paid more women for Trump to keep them quiet – “I have no knowledge of that, but I would think if it was necessary, yes.”
Time to start a pool on how MANY women he paid?

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The real question now – will Rudy Giuliani break @Scaramucci’s 10-day record?

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So how long until Stormy Daniels runs for office? She’s smart, articulate, and unlike many politicians at least provides value when she screws people.

Happy Kentucky Derby Day! When we get to marvel at the accomplishments of three-year olds. Instead of leaders who act like three-year olds.

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Hell of a Kentucky Derby for Justify.  And at least we didn’t have to hear about his exit velocity.

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McCain doesn’t want Trump at his funeral. Waiting for Trump to say “I like people who don’t get cancer.”

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Give Trump credit – at least he’s MSNLGA – Made SNL Great Again.

Seriously, read down. It’s a good cause. Happy weekend all.

Trump at NRA convention jokes about John Kerry’s breaking his leg in 2015 bicycling accident. Of course Cadet Bone Spurs would have won Tour de France if not for his disability.

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Trump doesn’t have time to talk to Mueller, but he has time to fly to Dallas for an NRA convention.

Waiting for someone at NRA convention in Dallas to say “If only JFK had been armed.”

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Carolina Panthers say defensive backs coach Curtis Fuller has left over complaints of workplace misconduct. Is he going to Washington to oversee the Redskins’ cheerleaders?

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If Obama were recommending books by authors who were friends of his GOP would be screaming emoluments and calling for impeachment.

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Big Island of Hawaii, already dealing with volcano eruption, now hit with 5.4 and 6.9 magnitude earthquakes. Waiting for @realDonaldTrump to say, sorry, but they better not expect any foreign aid.

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Dodgers no-hit Padres in Mexico. Are we sure that under an assumed name Tim Lincecum wasn’t somehow involved?

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I would really hate for @BeckyHammon to leave @Spurs. But for a head-coaching job….. okay , I could figure out how to say “Go Bucks Go.”

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On a rare serious note. Gregg Popovich is a class act.  And he would never even go onto social media for anything.  But he knew he married above him.   And this is a nice way to pay respects for a good cause. (Yes, I donated myself before posting this.)

https://www.sacurrent.com/the-daily/archives/2018/04/30/heres-how-to-pay-your-respects-to-erin-popovich-wife-of-spurs-coach

Apparently NY Yankees & Boston Red Sox to play will play the first two MLB games in London, England next year.   Oh, good, if ever two teams needed the extra exposure….

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New reports that in police report of Johnny Manziel’s arrest, Dallas cops said Manziel’s ex-girlfriend “felt like she was going to die or get beaten really bad.” And Johnny will still probably have a job offer before Colin Kaepernick.

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David Fizdale signed four-year deal to coach NY Knicks. So what’s over-under on how many years he actually WILL coach Knicks? 2 1/2, 2, 1…?

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Can we retire basketball phrase “Two-possession game?” I know Americans are bad at math. But do we really need reminder that many of us can’t count past 3?

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So did the Raptors not rest players enough during the NBA regular season or have they just caught  Maple Leafs playoff disease?

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A Modesto, CA man received only minor injuries when he was crossing tracks in front of a slow moving train, and was hit and dragged.  He said he was talking to someone and didn’t hear  the train, also that it was the 2nd time he’d been hit and survived.

Is there such a thing as an honorary Darwin award?

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To be fair, when he mentioned coming up with Michelle Wolf jokes, Dennis Miller didn’t say WHICH Wednesday.

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At least one person shot at Opry Mills in Nashville. Police say shooting was result of a “dispute” at the mall. If only other shoppers were armed… #Murica

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Guiliani says Trump doesn’t have time to “prepare” for a Mueller interview.  Leaving aside the idea of briefing sessions on the golf course, how much time does it take to prepare to tell the truth?

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So there was no affair, and Stormy Daniels was making “false and extortionist accusations” and Cohen paid her anyway. Lordy, I hope there are tapes.

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Trump claiming people saying “Merry Christmas” & “one nation under God” a lot more thanks to him. Actually, to be fair, with Trump in White House, a lot more people probably ARE praying. #NationalDayOfPrayer

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As we read about raid on Dr. Bornstein’s office, might be good day to remember that OJ Simpson finally went to prison for stealing his own memorabilia back.

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So can we start the pool on what day Stormy Daniels’ lawyer Michael Avenetti will release the tapes.

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Melania Trump’s parents are apparently trying to become US citizens. I missed the @realDonaldTrump tweet railing against chain migration.

Now it appears Scott Pruitt reimbursed himself $65,000 for unknown expenses from his Oklahoma attorney general campaign. He’s only 49 years old, are we SURE Pruitt isn’t Trump’s illegitimate son?

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How mad is Trump that Michael  Avenatti isn’t HIS lawyer?

Tried to turn on the Rockets Jazz playoff game on ESPN, and lo and behold, the Yankees game was on. Who’d a thunk it?

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The Rockies sent rookie outfielder Noel Cuevas, with a cart, in uniform, to walk to a Starbucks near Wrigley Field and pick up various coffee orders for 20 of  his teammates.

Cuevas appeared to have been a good sport about it. But how’d you like to be the person behind him in line?

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Washington Redskins cheerleaders apparently were required to pose topless for a photo shoot in 2013 in front of team sponsors and suiteholders, and some of them had to serve as escorts for the men. But hey,  not like the team did anything really bad like support players who knelt for the anthem.

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So in week after #NFLDraft does any team ever say “We didn’t really get any of the players we wanted, teams picking above us nabbed all our top choices?

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CNN headline “There’s a good chance you’ll soon see regular gas selling for $3 a gallon.”
And all of us in California are going? “Where, for how long, can you post maps please?”

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So who had Ty Cobb in Trump resignation bingo?

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18 GOP House members say “No one is more deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize than Donald Trump.”
They just have the punctuation wrong: “No one” would be a more deserving choice than @realDonaldTrump.

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I’m old enough to remember when idea that @HillaryClinton MIGHT be lying about her health was enough in many minds to disqualify her from the Presidency.

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Imagine if it came out that Hillary Clinton had dictated a statement to her doctor to release during the 2016 about HER health.

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Umpteenth tweet from @realDonaldTrump on #NoCollusion  Queen Gertrude was right – “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

Has anyone considered that Dennis Miller might really be upset because no one ever told him he created a perfect smokey eye?

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How many facts is Sarah Huckabee Sanders going to have to burn tonight to get that perfect smokey eye tomorrow?

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So let me get this straight, Michael Cohen paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 to keep quiet about an affair that didn’t happen. Then Trump out of the goodness of his heart reimbursed him. Dr. Jackson must have been dispensing some strong stuff…. #RudyGiuliani

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So in case of impeachment did Mike Pence promise Rudy Giuliani the vice-presidency?

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Social media & every major news site trumpeting how Guiliani admitted Trump reimbursed Michael Cohen for Stormy Daniels payment. Fox headline – “Trump attorney tells Fox News Comey must be prosecuted, Mueller probe must end.”

Trump administration loves to distract with bright shiny objects. If Rudy Giuliani’s admitting @POTUS repaying Cohen was a deliberate comment to distract,, what can we imagine that something else might be?

Toronto Raptors picked a bad time to do their playoff Maple Leafs imitation.

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Lebron gave credit after the game to “my teammates” who were “unbelievable.” Shouldn’t he have also given credit to the Raptors shooting down the stretch?

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As a @Spurs fan would be more worried about all this negative speculation about Kawhi if the man had said by way of a complaint himself. But hey, NY and LA media got to dream. #GoSpursGo

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Many women regularly complain about going to a sale and having the good stuff all picked over.   Has any NFL GM ever said a week after the draft “Yeah, none of the players we really wanted were left when we picked?

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A sorority at Fort Valley State in Georgia is implicated in a scandal where pledges allegedly participated in a sex ring to help pay their initiation fees. Doesn’t this sound like the plot of a bad porn movie?

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House rebuffed Trump and voted 393-13 to reauthorizes FAA & not privatize air traffic control. Guess even the most pro-corporate interest types don’t want big business doing to air traffic control what they’ve done with US airlines.

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White House now says a “clerical error” caused Sarah Huckabee Sanders to release statement “Iran has a robust, clandestine nuclear weapons program.” It should have been “HAD” not “has.”
And they’re whining about eyeliner jokes?

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Trump now “seriously thinking of the Space Force.” Who’d a thunk we’d miss Reagan’s Star Wars program?

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Texas filed lawsuit Tuesday seeking to end DACA program. The lawsuit no doubt championed by Ted Cruz, born in Canada to a Delaware mother and Cuban father….. #Whythereisnosatire

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Maybe we are going about this all wrong. Maybe the “liberal” media should report that Trump seduced his porn star and Playboy bunny mistresses while wearing a tan suit?

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Trump doesn’t believe scientists and the military about the environment and wars? Why should we expect him to believe doctors about his weight and health?

Good for Trump to bring the crew of Southwest flight to the White House to honor their heroism. Now about James Shaw, Jr….

Amazing how many people who think Michelle Wolf is the voice of all liberals somehow also think Kanye West is the voice of all blacks.