Archive for March 30, 2017

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The end of the beginning.

March 30, 2017

Interesting how the pre-seasons for MLB and NBA are ending about the same time.

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So at what point do TV executives start worrying about a potental Warriors or Spurs vs Raptors Wizards or Celtics @NBA final?
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Meanwhile,  CBS executives waking up in the middle of the night with visions of Oregon–South Carolina.
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Albert L. Lord, a Penn State trustee reportedly wrote in an email that he is “running out of sympathy for 35 yr old, so-called victims (of Jerry Sandusky) with 7 digit net worth… Do not understand why they were so prominent in trial.”
Okay, what’s more unbelievable, that the guy actually thinks this, or that he’s stupid enough to put it in an email?
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#NeverAskAWoman If she’s REALLY fine. If she says she’s “fine” you’re already toast.
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So how long until Hawaii starts a tourism campaign advertising a “Trump-free” vacation? #Hawaiiboycott
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McDonald’s says they will start making their Quarter-Pounders w/ fresh beef. So is this a change that the meat is fresh or that it’s beef?
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Mike Pence is so pure he can’t be alone w/ any woman who isn’t his wife. But he has no problem being VP for a pussy-grabber.    Priorities.
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Mike Pence won’t have dinner alone w/ a woman. Sir, I think I speak for millions of US women – “Your virtue is safe with us.” #notinterested
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So the way Trump, Pence & rest of GOP are talking about women now, can only assume the witch trials commence by summer?
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Trump’s now upset at some of his own party. “The Freedom Caucus will hurt the entire Republican agenda if they don’t get on the team, & fast. We must fight them, & Dems, in 2018!”
So would Trump like to put out a list of who he thinks IS on his team? Besides Ivanka and Jared.
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As Trump says “We must fight” the Freedom Caucus and the Dems, paraphrased question of the day “Who’s we, orange man?
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Trump attacks @NYtimes, wants to “change libel laws.” Amazing how someone so in love w/ 2nd amendment can so disregard the 1st.
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Trump apparently threatened Mark Sanford with a Congressional primary challenger if he didn’t vote for Trumpcare. Never thought it could be done – but someone has put Mr. Appalachian Trail on the moral high road.
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#MikeFlynn reportedly to testify ff granted immunity. Remember when these Russian espionage movies required scriptwriters? #passthepopcorn

Trump loves to talk about loyalty. But he basically fired #MikeFlynn. I’m sure Flynn didn’t take it personally. #passthepopcorn

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Now that we’re officially in Spring, time to start a pool on which of his resorts Trump will dub the “Summer White House?  (assuming he makes it to Summer.)

Categories: baseball jokes, March madness jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
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Not how you start…

March 30, 2017

Spurs had 16 point lead on the Warriors after 1st quarter and lost.  So will the league fine Popovich for resting his entire team for three quarters?

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The Warriors-Spurs matchup, one of the marquee regular season games, tipped off at 930pm ET, 830p central.   Even Major League Baseball is thinking, don’t you care about your fans?

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To be fair to Spurs that 8:30pm start meant 2nd half was past Gasol, Parker and Ginobili’s bedtimes.

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T.J McDonald suspended 8 games by NFL after being arrested for driving under the influence of prescription drugs. Hmm, so had he hit a woman instead of driving would he have only gotten six?

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Does it make you a snowflake if you get upset because your favorite #Starbucks is closing? Asking for a friend.

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Consumer confidence reportedly up.   Or it’s just Americans feeling, “We might as well spend, we’re all going to die.”

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Trump approval ratings now at 35% . Waiting for #SeanSpicer to explain how this is really like golf. Lowest scores win.

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Not sure what was worst, that Matt Cain gave up 4 runs in 5.1 innings  for the SF Giants. Or that the outing actually lowered his Spring Training ERA to 7.82.

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Trump & Christie pledge to fight opiod epidemic. No one told them GOP healthplan would strip coverage for mental health/addiction services?

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Chris Christie met with Donald Trump at the White House today, the same day one of his former top aides was sentenced to 2 years in prison over “Bridgegate.” Only the little people pay penalties.

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GOP-controlled Congress voted to let internet providers sell our browsing history.. So yep when it comes to privacy, these are the good old days

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So with this new bill gutting internet privacy rights is it too much to ask that Trump has filed his taxes online?

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Apparently none of the White House staff will attend annual correspondents’ dinner in “solidarity” with President Trump, Translation, “solidarity” means “keeping your job.”

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#Trump asked women today “Have you heard of #SusanBAnthony? No doubt he heard she & #FrederickDouglass are being recognized more & more

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Who says Trump is not a uniter? CNN reporting how the GOP vote to repeal internet privacy rules, a bill expected to be signed by the President, has been “panned by both the editorial board of The New York Times and by commenters on conservative media outlet Breitbart News.”

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“The Classic” concert just announced this summer will feature the Eagles, Steely Dan, Doobie Brothers, Fleetwood Mac, Journey, and Earth Wind & Fire. So based on the target audience demographic assume all tickets will include a senior citizen discount.

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Jeb Bush on Donald Trump “He should stop saying things that aren’t true.” Would Jeb care to opine on what things Trump says that are true?

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#Hawaii judge issues an injunction against Trump’s travel ban. Too soon to start a pool on the timing of #FakeState tweets?

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Ivanka Trump gets a White House desk & top level security clearance. Wonder if Donald will invite Tiffany to the Easter Egg Hunt?

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Iowa GOP bill would allow parents to stop abortion if “woman is less than eighteen years of age or unmarried.” #Bridgetothe19thcentury

 

 

 

And with Opening Day almost upon us.   Thanks to JD for this Carnac moment I had forgotten  “Another favorite Carnac memory: The answer is “Catch-22.” The question is “What do the Los Angeles Dodgers do with 50 fly balls?”

Categories: Uncategorized

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