Archive for January 13, 2015

The danger zone?

January 13, 2015

In D.C. one woman has died, two are in critical condition, and 81 others were injured when smoke filled a DC Metro station. And apparently this was caused by an electrical fault. Who needs terrorists when we have an aging and underfunded infrastructure?

 

 

Well, now that the Oregon-Ohio State game is over, we don’t have to see ESPN’s silly countdown clock to the National Championship.  ESPN’s countdown clock to the Super Bowl no doubt starts tomorrow.

When asked if he would ever consider moving to the NFL, Urban Meyer said, “Not right now. I’ve got a commitment to Ohio State.” Translation, ‘no ones offered me enough money, and none of my players here have yet been arrested for a felony.”

Caradle Jones, the third-string QB who led OSU to the National Championship, when asked about leaving early for the NFL – “In my personal opinion, I’m not ready for that level yet.” Well, maybe, but Jones might be at least ready for the level of the Jets.

Apparently Urban Meyer promised his team if they won the national championship he’d get a tattoo. And unlike his players, the OSU coach won’t get in trouble if he doesn’t pay for it.

Stay classy, Texas congressman Randy Weber tweeted, “Even Adolph Hitler thought it more important than Obama to get to Paris. (For all the wrong reasons.) Obama couldn’t do it for right reasons.” Just guessing Rep. Weber, who crusades against gay marriage and immigration, “our traditional family values are under attack,” isn’t even likely to pick up a copy of Charlie Hebdo.

 

Mike Huckabee criticizes the Obamas in an interview with PEOPLE magazine because they “on one hand they can be such doting parents and so careful,” but they let their daughters listen to Beyonce. Yep, clearly a major lapse in parental judgment, and the President and First Lady might even let the girls read stuff like PEOPLE magazine.

 

 

Jason Garrett signed a new five year contract with the Dallas Cowboys. The deal was based on Garrett’s loyalty, success on the field, and ability to tolerate Jerry Jones.

Dianne Feinstein says the Justice Dept erred in recommending charges against General Petraeus over him giving his mistress access to some classified government documents. “It’s done, it’s over. He’s retired. He’s lost his job. How much does government want.” Besides, Petraeus probably didn’t leak as much as any two-bit college hacker can find in a day.

Rep. Randy Weber has apologized for his recent tweet, saying it “It was not my intention to trivialize the Holocaust nor to compare the President to Adolf Hitler.” Considering the way that the Texas GOP demonizes Obama was Weber apologizing to the President or to Hitler?

 

 

Donald Trump is suing Palm Beach County because he says the airport is deliberately routing flights over his mansion – and causing “excessive, unreasonable, unwarranted and uninvited noise. The alleged motivation? Revenge for Trump’s blocking the airport expansion in the 1990s.

Well, if they weren’t doing it on purpose before, no doubt the airport director appreciates the idea.

United Airlines has warned 2,000 workers that they may outsource gate agents and baggage handlers at 28 non-hub airports.. So you think their customer service is bad now? Cheer up, it may get worse.

Swoosh for Surrender?

January 13, 2015

Maybe it was the white uniforms? ‪#‎Itsnoteasynotbeinggreen‬?

Ohio State beat Oregon handily, despite a steady stream of turnovers.  Good thing the National championship trophy has been changed from crystal to metal, in case the Buckeyes drop it.

Okay, the question of the night. How did Ohio State lose, to Virginia Tech, by 14, at home? (35-21)

 

At least Children in Africa should be getting some really colorful “‪#‎Oregon‬ National Championship” shirts later this week.

Lots of experts opining pre-game on whether Oregon or Ohio State would win the national championship tonight. Of course, most of these experts predicted the game would be between Florida State and Alabama.

 

Who’d a thunk it? The happiest and most productive recent Heisman winner in this postseason might well be Tim Tebow. ‪#‎NationalChampionship‬

Wonder if suspended ‪#‎OregonDucks‬ players might be planning a party to console teammates when they get home? ‪#‎brownies‬? ‪#‎CFBChampionship‬

Once again, a big game ended after midnight on the East Coast. No complaints out in California, but pretty clear ESPN and NCAA don’t really give a damn about anyone who has work or school tomorrow

Yesterday was the 14th annual “No Pants Subway Ride” day in New York City. And presumably today is the 14th annual “Celebrate Handi Wipes” day.

Sad news from Texas. Two people who entered a pen containing two female camels and a male camel in rut were trampled to death this weekend by the male camel. Rut ro.

 

A Disney Cruise ship rescued a Royal Caribbean passenger who fell overboard off the coast of Mexico. Of course, after hearing “Let it Go” for the 100th time, the man probably had to be restrained by Disney crew from jumping back over the rails.

Ted Cruz is the latest to jump on the “We needed to show more solidarity with France by being at the rally” bandwagon, and he wrote an op-ed about it for Time. Feel that strongly about it, Senator? Post some of those Charlie Hebdo cartoons on your website.

Bills owner Terry Pegula said that new coach Rex Ryan is “the best fit for our team,” Cue the Cinderella shoe/foot jokes….

Gavin Newsom says he won’t run for Barbara Boxer’s Senate seat in 2016. Translation, he’s running for Governor in 2018.

A woman from Seneca Falls, New York was arrested last November for DUI with a blood alcohol level of .26. And apparently she had been drinking… vanilla extract. Which is .41% alcohol. And millions of teenagers are thinking “you can do that?”

Okay, we’re all about free speech these days, even when we think it’s obnoxious. Well, kinda sorta. Apparently Margaret Cho’s North Korean general portrayal on the Golden Globes has already generated outrage. (And she is Korean-American). Personally, I thought it was funny. But we can not “suis Charlie” if we can’t also at times “suis” un-PC..