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$126 Million Bargain?

October 19, 2012

So the torture continues until at least Game 6 of the NLCS, thanks to Barry Zito. Should the postseason video be titled “50 Shades of Orange?”

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Okay, who would have made the bet in Las Vegas that Barry Zito started NLCS Game 5 with 7 2/3 scoreless innings tonight? Now all you liars put your hands down.

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Even Jamie Moyer is thinking “I can’t believe Barry Zito is getting the Cardinals out with that junk.”

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A little “inside baseball” for SF Giants fans –  Well, contrary to previous popular belief, Buster Posey can apparently catch Barry Zito.

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Honestly thought that Fox has said more positive things about President Obama than they have about the SF Giants before game five.  They thought this series was over.

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And so what time is that Yankees game tomorrow?

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Just a question for Romney fans, if Mitt thinks he’s going to be so much better – and somehow different – from George W. Bush, why didn’t he emulate his former rival Ted Kennedy and challenge the President in the primary?

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“Big Tex” the giant metal cowboy who’s greeted visitors to the Texas State Fair for 60 years, was destroyed by fire today. Devastated Texans nonetheless know that big inanimate objects can come back – witness Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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According to the NY Daily News, a Yankee player said that hostile fans at Yankee Stadium affected the team in the ALCS. “A lot of guys were talking about it in the clubhouse. I was surprised by how much it bothered them. I really don’t think they ever recovered.” Gosh. Good thing the stands weren’t really full then.

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Another graduate of the Todd Akin school of science: Illinois Congressman Joe Walsh told reporters it’s “absolutely” never necessary for an abortion to save the life of a mother. “With modern technology and science, you can’t find one instance .. There is no such exception as life of the mother, and as far as health of the mother, same thing.”

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Oops. Did some idiot spray Big Tex? From the AP: “The maker of Banana Boat sunscreen is recalling some half-million bottles of spray-on lotion after reports that a handful of people have caught on fire after applying the product and coming in contact with an open flame.”

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Fidel Castro is reportedly in a “vegetative state” after a stroke. Insert tasteless Ronald Reagan joke here:

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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Derby time.

July 12, 2011

Open note to readers- back to back posts today because I clearly did not hit the “publish” button hard enough last night.

In any case….

So the Home Run Derby came down to Robinson Cano (Yankees), and Adrian Gonzalez (Red Sox.) New York vs. Boston. Are we sure we weren’t watching Fox’s regular Game of the Week?

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Sarah Palin may be a hockey mom, but I’m not sure she gets other sports. When asked if she had a prediction for the Home Run Derby, she apologized but said she really hadn’t kept up on what horses were running.

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In the MLB HomeRun Derby, Robinson Cano beat Adrian Gonzalez 12-11 to take the 2011 championship. As if we didn’t need another illustration of how good pitching can overcome no hitting, no player on the first-place San Francisco Giants has hit 12 home runs this YEAR. (Or 11, or 10 for that matter.)

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Meanwhile, despite being voted in by the fans,  Derek Jerek now says he is completely skipping the All-Star Game and festivities due to “physical and emotional exhaustion.” Regarding the fans who wanted to see him play, I guess as a Yankee Jeter figures, “Fine, they can just watch me in the World Series.”

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Construction crews plan to completely shut down several miles of the 405 Freeway in Los Angeles for more than two days this weekend. Which means during peak times, traffic will be moving at its usual speed.

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A Jet Blue airline crew found a stun gun in a seatback pocket while cleaning a plane in Newark Monday night. The flight had originated in Boston, but made other stops during the day. In related news, TSA said they did confiscate their daily thousand or so bottled waters.

The California Assembly passed a bill to ban the “import, production, distribution or retail sale of beer and related alcoholic beverages that have caffeine added.” The reason is because these sweet drinks are particularly popular with young people. Hope no one ever tells the kids you can mix, say, Rum and Coke.

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Newt Gingrich declined to sign the controversial 14-point “Family Leader” pledge, but would not give a reason other than it needing “across the board” changes. A Gingrich spokesman did say the marriage vow “needed to be shortened.” Yeah, as in taking out that little line about staying faithful to your spouse.

Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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