Posted tagged ‘#Standwithwendy jokes’

Fabulous!

June 26, 2013

Conservatives may be disheartened over DOMA being overturned today, and gay marriages being allowed again in California. But hey, from a business standpoint, think of all the economic stimulus from gay weddings! #Expensivechampagne

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Is the New England Patriots’ season as dead as DOMA?

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Apparently Aaron Hernandez is the 29th NFL player arrested since this year’s Super Bowl.  This is clearly what comes of allowing too many heterosexuals in the league.

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The prosecution’s evidence against Hernandez allegedly includes some used bubble gum found in a car seen near the site of the murder.  Gum that he may have been seen buying.   So does this mean, if he chewed, then he is through?

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Cleveland rookie LB Ausar Walcott was arrested Tuesday and charged with attempted murder after he allegedly punched a man in the head last weekend. Gosh, the Browns can’t even get the major headlines on the NFL police blotter.

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Rough week for Paula Deen. Who knew it was possible to make Walmart look politically correct?

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Paula Deen in a teary television interview today complained of “horrible, horrible lies” about her. Uh, in Celebrity 101 class shouldn’t there be a session featuring Hugh Grant’s interview with Leno? Admit, say you were stupid, and move on. (Then if necessary find God and beg forgiveness.)

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Just wondering, how would Justice Clarence Thomas have ruled on “Loving v. Virginia” in 1967….

(if that’s too “inside baseball,”  “Loving v. Virginia” was the ruling that struck down inter-racial marriage laws. And Thomas is married to a white woman.)

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Best comedy line of the week goes to coach Chip Kelly: “As I have I stated before, the NCAA investigation and subsequent ruling had no impact on my decision to leave Oregon for Philadelphia.”

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From Bill Littlejohn:  “Former Cub Kerry Wood found a body floating in a harbor.  I hear he strained his shoulder calling 911.”

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In Justice Scalia’s angry dissent today he once again railed against “homosexual sodomy.” So does he have a position on heterosexual sodomy. (Technically defined as anything but vaginal intercourse…?.)

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Texas Gov. Rick Perry just called a new special session to take up the abortion bill that was filibustered last night. What happened to that “small government” philosophy?

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You can’t make this stuff up…   Gov. Perry says he is calling a special session on that abortion bill because “Texans value life.” On the same day that the state has executed its 500th inmate since they reinstated the death penalty in 1982.

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Somewhere both #MollyIvins and #AnnRichards are together looking down on #WendyDavis. And smiling.