Posted tagged ‘replacement ref jokes’

Referees are missing calls, I’m shocked, shocked….

September 25, 2012

Maybe some of these replacement refs should run for office: They’ve done a better job than anyone else in America of getting bipartisan agreement on something.

Hard to remember that before this lockout started, one of the favorite pastimes of hardcore NFL fans was complaining about the regular refs.

Hope for his sake that someone tells Mitt Romney that this would be a bad week to talk about any friends he might have who are NFL owners.

Anyone else wondering about the results had the refs given an NFL game like last night’s to Pete Carroll, if the opposing coach was Jim Harbaugh?   (There might still be crime tape on the field. )

 

 

The possible  real reason last night’s disputed NFL call was such a big deal? Before that “catch,” Green Bay had not only won, but they had (barely) covered the four point spread.

 

 

On the other hand, if Monday night’s NFL call had gone against the Dallas Cowboys, they’d be praising the refs in 49 states.

 

Aaron Rodgers said tonight that the NFL cares more about saving money than about the integrity of the game. What was his first clue?

 

Mitt Romney actually said today at a speech in New York that he “understood” the unions had to look out for their members. Wow. So maybe Mitt does watch Monday Night Football after all.

Romney’s campaign now says his comment about opening plane windows was a joke. But come on, we all know better – Mitt had to open windows on his private planes to feed the dog on the roof.

A new study cites state police as having an estimated 80% likelihood of divorce. Wow, that’s almost as high as being in the NBA. Or marrying a Kardashian.

 

Uh, about those Bonds asterisks….. Former Cy Young winner Eric Gagne says in his new biography that 80 percent of his Dodgers teammates were using PEDs.

 

At the University of Minnesota, Crookston, a DII football team, their midfield logo ended up painted at the 45-yard instead of the 50. Had the school only been scheduled to play an SEC team, no one might have noticed.

 

In NY today, Anna Gristina, a Scottish mom of 4, who allegedy ran a brothel for wealthy men, pled guilty to “promoting prostitution.” She will likely get probation after credit for 4 months time served, but could be deported. Why? Unlike with many Wall Streeters, at least her clients were happy when they got screwed.

 

Replacement referees, weak 3.

September 24, 2012

What a country. I think many bad Supreme Court decisions have resulted in less outrage.

Jon Gruden, in the midst of his rant against replacement referees, said that “Green Bay shouldn’t have to fly 6,000 miles back home with a loss here”. 6,000 miles? Yeah, this ought to do wonders for the dumb jock image.

A thought about these replacement referees. If everyone in the NFL cares that much about getting it right, what was this billion dollar industry doing with part-time refs in the first place? (And yes, for non-football fans, the striking refs are contract employees, many with full-time other jobs.)

Drew Brees described the replacement refs in the Saints’ game Sunday as “horrendous.” Assuming Drew just got a friend request from Aaron Rodgers.

You cannot make this “stuff” up – – Mitt Romney on Ann’s plane scare last week: “When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous.”

An ex-Intel executive, who cooperated with investigators, escaped with a fine and probation for giving confidential info about his company to a New York hedge fund manager. Gosh, wonder if he had done something really bad, like sold an extra large soda?

A flight attendant for US Airways Express was caught with a loaded gun in her handbag at Philadelphia International Airport. Well, that’s one airline where passengers may now think twice about whining for a second drink.

Heath Bell, who lost the Marlins’ closer job, is complaining about Ozzie Guillen saying   “It’s hard to respect a guy that doesn’t tell you the truth or doesn’t tell you face-to-face.” Wonder if Guillen’s response would be “It’s hard to respect a guy with a 5.19 ERA who’s converted 19 of 26 save opportunities.

Police said that renters moving into a home Sunday morning in Modesto, discovered a body. Yikes. Guessing someone won’t get their cleaning deposit back.

How times have changed. Next Sunday Arnold Schwarzenegger is appearing on “60 Minutes” to plug his new “tell-all” book. Remember the days when some were hoping to change the constitution so that Arnold could run for President?

Mitt Romney last night “We do provide care for people who don’t have insurance. If someone has a heart attack, they don’t sit in their apartment and die. We pick them up in an ambulance, and take them to the hospital….” Of course insurance for preventive care might have kept that heart attack from happening in the first place.

Kerri Walsh Jennings just revealed she was pregnant when she and her partner won their last Gold medal at the London Olympics. And may I join millions of women around the world in saying “Weaker sex, my ass.”