Archive for February 2019

A shoe in?

February 22, 2019

Glad Duke star Zion Williamson has only a mild knee sprain after his Nike shoe fell apart, but can we have a moment for all us women who love wearing heels and get chided that they’re dangerous to walk in?

Wonder if any newspaper headlined Zion Williamson’s injury “If the shoe splits?”

The longer Bryce Harper remains unsigned, the more he misses of Spring Training.
Wonder how many players already tired of drills wish they’d thought of that.

Lebron James  said that after All-Star Break the Lakers will start their “playoff intensity.”  That must make fans who’ve purchased full priced tickets for pre-break games already played feel so happy.

Sad about Peter Tork dying, though I wasn’t a Monkees fan.  But how the heck was he 77 years old already?

 

A federal judge actually ruled Alex Acosta, Trump’s Secretary of Labor “broke the law” in hiding sexual abuse plea agreement from more than 30 of  Jeffrey Epstein’s underage victims. And these days it’s not even a headline story.  Are we great yet?

 

North Carolina election board has called for a new election in contested House race after GOP candidate Mark Harris said he was mistaken in his testimony, and blamed it on a sepsis infection that had affected his memory.

 

Imagine Trump and GOP tweets if DEMOCRATS had to redo an election over voter fraud, and if a candidate said he was “mistaken” in his first testimony.

Also, just for heck of it, imagine if white MAGA Trump sympathizer had falsely alleged liberals had attacked him in a hate crime & a black gay man had planned terrorism event involving mass murder?

Jussie Smollett faked an attack, which wasted police resources and has damaged credibility of real victims. Donald Trump fakes a national emergency, which wastes billions of dollars and has damaged credibility of the USA. Who should be in prison longer?

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If the shoe splits…

February 21, 2019

Fans paid upwards of $2,500 for tickets to UNC Duke game and Blue Devils star Zion Williamson got injured 36 seconds into game when his shoe broke apart. Sad, but at those prices this might be definition of First World Problem.

 

 

So after a shoe malfunction knocked Duke star Zion Williamson out of at least tonight’s game against UNC, will Nike change its motto from “Just Do it” to “Wanna Get Away?”

 

 

Right about now Nike has to be looking back nostalgically to days when it was Tiger Woods self-destructing instead of their shoes.

Happy Birthday, Sidney Poiter, 92. But shouldn’t there be a way for someone to trend without scaring us?

You know who’s not saying the  Mueller Report is almost finalized? Robert Mueller.

Though Mueller only has about a week to get his report done by the end of February. Which makes some sense “March Madness is already taken.”

Trump potentially nominating Iraq war veteran & former Michigan GOP Senate candidate John James for UN Ambassador. James indicates he would accept, and says he is “someone who understands the growing spheres of communism around the world.”
Building that bridge to the 1960s?

So Trump tells California he wants the billions of dollars back for the bullet train. How about a deal, we give the money back, Donald gives the election back?

Wonder if Trump would start believing in climate change if one of these storms grounds Air Force One from him flying to Mar-A-Lago?

So Jussie Smollett, while living a relatively comfortably lifestyle, apparently faked a racist homophobic attack. And if convicted he’ll be living somewhere where he’s a lot more likely to be attacked.

Meanwhile, while Fox News is all over the Smollett story, it’s crickets about the active-duty far-right Coast Guard white guy arrested with an arsenal and apparently plans to go after a number of Democratic leaders and kill as many people as possible.  I’m SURE it’s just a coincidence.

Not-so-cheap seats.

February 19, 2019

Wow, cheapest ticket to see Zion Williamson in UNC-Duke game now $2,500. What’s the point? Next year fans can probably see him cheap with the Suns or Knicks.

 

Well, at least when SF Giants take over Petco Park for Giants-Padres games they’ll be able to boo ex-Dodger Manny Machado.

MLB Baseball Players Association head Tony Clark wants DH to expand to NL. If it’s just about keeping lousy fielders who can hit employed, let NL teams have one additional non-pitcher on their team. Problem solved. You’re welcome.

Look, I get with sports it’s about ego. But when you can sign for more money than you can possibly spend in your entire life, wouldn’t you pick a place you actually want to live?

Antonio Brown met with Pittsburgh Steelers president Art Rooney II and tweeted that both sides “agreed that it is time to move on.”
So the NFL version of a “conscious uncoupling?”

Taneytown, Maryland is considering a new Civil War memorial with equal-sized pictures of Lincoln AND John Wilkes Booth. “Many fine people on both sides”?

 

NY Times reports Vatican has a secret set of rules for clerics who fathered children. Uh, if priests have children, what makes the church think they care about rules?

NY TImes also reports Trump asked then-acting AG Whitaker if he could appoint an attorney who had already recused himself to oversee an investigation. So wonder what Donald’s already asked Barr?

Clarence Thomas wants to overturn Times v. Sullivan ruling, which protects news organizations from most libel suits when they write about public figures. So what is Thomas afraid the media will be writing about him?

Reportedly Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson are breaking up. Damn, I miss the days when we gossiped about reality stars instead of electing them.

Have to wonder, why hasn’t DonaldTrump attacked Rachel Maddow yet? Is her show on during his “Executive Time?” Or is it just that really strong women scare him?

In retrospect perhaps Justin’s Smollett’s story from the start was as improbable as Trump’s claim his campaign never colluded with Russia.

 

More bad limerick time.

 

About Mueller Trump does like to bitch
But his tweets now are causing a hitch.
Those self-pitying cries
And obvious lies
Are proving that Trump IS a witch.

Not ALL about the money?

February 19, 2019

Boston has highest payroll in MLB. Red Sox owner John Henry today when asked about spending and winning “I’m sure there is a correlation, but it’s not as perfect…. Spending more money helps.”
What was his first clue?

 

Winner of yesterday’s crash-plagued Indy 500 – Denny Hamlin.    Runners-up?  All  NASCAR body shops.

 

Meanwhile, speaking of payrolls, the Red Sox won in 2018 with baseball’s highest payroll, despite paying Pablo Sandoval $18 million to play for SF Giants.  Which they are paying him again in 2019.  #PandaPower

Bruce Bochy has announced he will retire after the end of SF Giants 2019 season. Which Giants fans hope will be late October.

Heard a great idea today. Instead of President’s Day, because really, who needs another mattress sale, let’s make ELECTION DAY a national holiday.

Would everyone who ever drank underage please STFU about Malia Obama.
Thank you.

 

Maybe what really upsets conservatives about Malia’s underage drinking is they worry it means she aspires to be a Supreme Court judge?

Fox News gleefully attacking Democratic politicians for condemning the alleged attack on Jussie Smollett.
Somehow I missed their same outrage over Trump and the Central Park Five.

The West Virginia woman who was fired from her non-profit job for calling Michelle Obama an “ape in heels” today pleaded guilty to embezzling $18,000 from FEMA. Who knew such a classy woman might be a crook too?

Just wondering, if Amy Klobuchar becomes front-runner for 2020 Democratic nomination what will Trump do for attacks? Worst accusation is she’s a boss whose employees are scared of her. Which Donald would consider a seriously good thing.

 

Leaving aside the fact that many middle-class Americans may find themselves with higher taxes due to loss of deductions, new tax laws are upsetting many because instead of getting their expected refunds, they owe money. Don Jr. and others are brushing off complaints by saying that’s a GOOD thing, as those people haven’t given government an interest-free loan.
Except that many people have come to count on that basically forced saving. If not getting refunds was so good, Trump would’ve touted that from the beginning.

Exhibitions.

February 18, 2019

Wouldn’t NBA All-Star games with the captains picking their best teams be more compelling if fans weren’t watching the same thing playing out during the regular season?

What’s next for the league to attract interest? The Warriors playing the All-Star champions?

 

So for those unfamiliar with NASCAR, no Sunday’s Daytona 500, was not normally like “The Bachelorette”  – where last guy standing is the winner.

But yeah, when did the Daytona 500 turn into demolition derby?

NBA commissioner Adam Silver  is not  happy with the Knicks tanking “.. you understand why there’s relegation in European soccer.”

Hmm, if they relegate Knicks for tanking, who does the NBA bring up? Duke?

So isn’t it likely that Bryce Harper has made up his mind and is just sitting back enjoying the attention and the lack of the boring first weeks of spring training?

 

 

A woman gave birth on a JetBlue flight. Good thing she wasn’t on Spirit Airlines. They’d have charged her for an extra carry-on.

 

UN Ambassador nominee Heather Nauert  has withdrawn her nomination. So the question of the night – what’s in HER yearbook?

Trump fundraising email of the day “Last week, more than 95% of the Patriots I polled demanded a wall.” Say what? Does he mean 95% of the voices in his head.

(or does he mean Brady and Belichick?)

 

Dana Carvey mocked George H.W. Bush and Bush invited him to the White House. Alec Baldwin mocks Donald Trump and he angrily tweets calling for retribution. What a sad, pathetic little POTUS.

Never thought I’d be tweeting in praise of Sarah Palin.  But she had the good nature and wit to appreciate Tina Fey’s amazing portrayal of her…even appearing on the show.  Take note, POTUS.

 

So just wondering, after Donald Trump’s meltdown over SNL.  Are “The Daily Show” “Full Frontal with Samantha B” and  “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert”  just on so late at night during the week he hasn’t seen them?

Anyone ever thought Donald Trump has decided he likes Kim Jong Un because standing next to North Korean leader makes Donald feel as if he really IS 6’3″?

To be fair, has any President before Trump so unified most of Europe?   Against the US.

 

How childish is it that is trending? Really doesn’t show much respect to Donald Trump at all. Womp womp

Tough decision?

February 16, 2019

Craziness in SF Bay Area, from sun to pouring rain to hail (or even some snow) then back to sun within a few minutes. Almost a shame SFGiants are after Bryce Harper instead of weather chaser Mike Trout.

So let’s get to to the real crisis in baseball – wherever he ends up no team will possibly have time this year to come up with a Bryce Harper bobblehead.

Meanwhile, baseball being baseball, pretty sure 2019 MVP races in both leagues will include someone we’re not even talking about now.

 

NBA commissioner Adam Silver debuted a new “smart jersey of the future.” for fans, where you can use a phone app to change number and name on the back. So maybe nobody warned Silver about this thing called a “washing machine? ?

Payless ShoeSource said it will close and liquidate their 2,300 U.S. stores, resulting in tens of thousands of job losses. Are we tired of winning yet?

Today’s mass shooter was an American citizen. So assume GOP are fine with next President, whoever she or he may be, declaring a gun violence National Emergency on day one?

 

CDC reports 63 more people have gotten sick with salmonella from raw turkey products. But hey MAGAers – this is science. So own the libs – buy more recalled ground turkey.

As Ann Coulter goes off on Trump, calling him an idiot and then some,  talk about some serious conflict in my reaction – glee at watching conservatives take on Democrats in the “circular firing squad” department – or horror in agreeing with Ann Coulter,

 

Amazing how same  Trump supporters who say gun control reform won’t help because criminals get around laws insist a wall will stop crime despite tunnels, boats, planes….

Trump on his National Emergency declaration today ““I didn’t need to do this… I just want to do it faster.” And thousands of lawyers are going “Wait, it’s not supposed to be THAT easy.”

Break time

February 15, 2019

No serious NBA games to watch for a week because of the All-Star Break.  So all basketball fans get a last of what it’s like to root for the Knicks.

Though really, it’s a tough time for many US sports fans – after  Super Bowl, before Spring Training games start, and NBA games really matter…. and of course, before for three weeks we all become fans of college basketball teams we had never heard of…

A Florida woman was arrested for throwing a frozen pork chop at her boyfriend,  lacerating his face. . If she’d only thawed it out.

(read that above joke out loud.)

Trevor Bauer says his arbitration hearing with Indians ended with ‘character assassination’ – Well this should start off 2019 with a warm fuzzy feeling in the Cleveland clubhouse.

Trump fundraising email of day says “Deadline is Midnight to wish Donald and Melania a Happy Valentine’s Day.”
I really don’t care, do U?

 

There once was a POTUS named Trump
Whose ego could not take its lumps
Since he’s not 6’3″
Nor close to 243.
His wall will distract from his rump.

 

As California faces massive flooding from heavy rains this week, what excuse will Donald Trump use to blame the state and deny federal funds?

This reality show version of the Manchurian Candidate really really sucks.

Susan Collins, on Trump’s “National Emergency.” This approach does set a very bad precedent for future presidents, whether it’s a Democrat or a Republican, to feel that they can get around Congress’s constitutional role to allocate funding. It’s very serious and troubling to me.”
Too soon to start a pool on when Collins will give a speech announcing she supports the President?

17 people, including 14 children, murdered by troubled young man who should never have had gun, and Trump is “praying for continued strength and healing.”
One person gets killed by an immigrant and he demands more billions for his wall. #Parkland.

But seriously, what kind of sick f*ck declares a National Emergency over a vanity project on anniversary of 17 people being murdered by mass shooter in Parkland?