Fever pitch

openingday

Caught a five hour case of flu today. ‪#‎Giantsfever‬. ‪#‎BeatLA‬

 

#‎Dodgers‬ team ERA for year just went from zero to over three in four innings ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎SFGiantsOpeningDay‬

 

 

San Diego heads to Coors Field without having scored a run in any of their first three games. Are the Padres trying to be the official MLB team of Coke Zero?

(Frank. W. says, “of course the Padres haven’t scored this season. Padres are supposed to be celibate.)

Waiting for an atheist to file a “freedom from religion” lawsuit against playing “God Bless America” at baseball games ‪#‎SFGiantsOpeningDay‬

20,000 of Ivanka Trump’s branded scarves are being recalled due to a “burn risk.” But that’s not the interesting part, the Donald’s daughter has her scarves made in China. ‪#‎onlylittlepeoplepaytariffs‬?

 

Wynn Resorts founder Steve Wynn reportedly told investors “Rich people only like being around rich people. Nobody likes being around poor people, especially poor people.” Hmm, is Wynn angling for a position in a possible Trump cabinet?

Whole Foods is opening “Whole Foods 365” in Los Angeles this May. They say it will be their first “budget-friendly” store. So folks, we have a new nominee for 2016’s top oxymoron.

In London, footage is circulating of a mysterious large shape apparently swimming in the Thames river, leading some to speculate about the Loch Ness Monster. It would of course, be inappropriate to make a Chris Christie on Spring Break joke.

A recent poll found that Donald Trump is disliked by 7 out of 10 people. And Ted Cruz is thinking “amateur.”

 

Ted Cruz is not backing down from his “New York values” comment. Translation, Cruz knows he’ll lose New York and figures the criticism will help him in other states.

Actually if Cruz really had the cojones to thumb his nose at New Yorkers he’d get photographed eating pizza with a fork.

So all these Republicans who can’t stand Ted Cruz are supporting him because they hate Donald Trump more. Now, one question if he actually gets elected – how is the GOP going to find enough people to put up with him and serve in a Cruz cabinet?

So the latest attack on Hillary Clinton is that she needed several swipes to get her Metrocard to work on the NY subway. You mean it’s possible to get it right on the first try?

So I would take these “religious freedom” types much more seriously if, for example, before they served heterosexual couples they would require to prove they were married, to each other. And refused to bake wedding cakes for any couple who wouldn’t swear they were both virgins.

Must be nice to be such a special snowflake that you can not only ignore the request on the train to turn cellphones to vibrate but you can keep a phone conversation going for a good 20 to 30 minutes. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

 

#‎AmericanIdol‬ reminds us on ‪#‎IdolFinale‬ of one reason the show is ending. ‪#‎toomanywrongchoices‬ ‪#‎toomanyforgettablewinners‬

Explore posts in the same categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.

2 Comments on “Fever pitch”

  1. Neal Says:

    Caught a five hour case of flu today. ‪

    There’s a lot of that going around lately, wishing you a speedy recovery.

  2. Neal Says:

    Blue Jays manager John Gibbons complained after MLB’s new slide rule cost Toronto a run in a 5-3 loss to the Rays, “They’re trying to put dresses on us.” Uh, Gibbons, whine all you want. Then go watch “League of their Own” and find a new metaphor.

    My thoughts exactly. Also thinking that those ladies were sliding to breakup the DP.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: