Zero is a number, right?

 

So in 2016 what’s more likely in California? The ‪#‎Warriors‬ get to 73 wins? Or the ‪#‎Padres‬ get to 73 runs?

#‎SDPadres‬ are working on a three game scoreless streak to open 2016 season. Are they trying to become official ‪#‎MLB‬ team of ‪#‎MLS‬ Major League Soccer.

Well, darn, the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ aren’t going to go 162-0. Probably better off not to tire them for the playoffs anyway.

Blue Jays manager John Gibbons complained after MLB’s new slide rule cost Toronto a run in a 5-3 loss to the Rays, “They’re trying to put dresses on us.” Uh, Gibbons, whine all you want. Then go watch “League of their Own” and find a new metaphor. ‪#‎Theresnocryinginbaseball‬

Rockies rookie SS Trevor Story is the first MLB player since 1900 to homer in his first three games. Even more amazing, Story hasn’t played at Coors Field yet.

 

Open note to @SenSanders & @HillaryClinton: Knock off the negativity. When ‪#‎GOP‬ is in a circus hole, stand back & watch them dig tent poles.

Meanwhile, how powerful is ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬? He’s managed to make ‪#‎TedCruz‬ seem like the more palatable GOP alternative.

At a Texas elementary school, the principal has banned parents from setting foot on campus, meaning they can neither walk their kids to school nor pick them up, unless those parents wait in a long line in their cars. ‪#‎ifonlytheywerearmed‬ No, wait…. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

George Mason, whose law school wanted to honor the late Supreme Court Judge, has now switched its name to Antonin Scalia Law School. This after the internet pointed out the original change -the Antonin Scalia School of Law – was ASSLaw or ASSoL. Think they had it right the first time.

No injuries were reported when Apple employee shuttle bus caught fire today on a freeway in Northern Calfornia at about 630a this morning. It’s actually a shocking story – there are computer geeks UP at 630a in the morning?

Your daily dose of “blech”: Ann Coulter is now saying that Donald Trump will protect Americans from “Latin American rape culture.” Not sure which is harder to believe, that women would have affairs with Ted Cruz or that men of any culture would want Ann Coulter.

Walt Disney World is now offering guests who pay an extra $69 per person ($59 for kids) the chance to enter the Magic Kingdom earlier and avoid some of the longest lines. Great, leaving aside the class divide aspect, now in the summer, we can look forward to even grouchier parents yelling at their hot and even tireder kids about how much money they spent and THEY.SHOULD.BE.HAVING.FUN.DAMMIT

United Airlines is celebrating their 90th birthday. Curiously enough, that seems to be the same age as some of their planes.

 

Pfizer Inc, which had planned to avoid U.S. tax rates by merging with Allergan Plc, of Ireland, has scrapped the deal after the Treasury instituted new anti-inversion rules. I blame Obama.

 

John Kasich can clinch the GOP nomination if he wins 125% of the remaining primary delegates. Well, math was always a liberal commie pinko concept anyway.

In San Francisco, ParkingCupid, parking version of Airbnb is offering parking places in garages and driveways for up to $400 a month. At that price are customers allowed to sleep in their cars?

Explore posts in the same categories: airline jokes, baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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One Comment on “Zero is a number, right?”

  1. Frank Workman Says:

    Of course the Padres haven’t scored this season. Padres are supposed to be celibate.


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