From the sublime to the ridiculous?

The ‪#‎Lakers‬ lost tonight to the ‪#‎Jazz‬ 123-75. So real question of the night – how did ‪#‎LA‬ ever beat the ‪#‎Warriors‬?

 

#‎Texas‬ women’s basketball team lost to ‪#‎UConn‬ “only” 86-65. So maybe a moral victory? Kind of like the Alamo? ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

You think just MAYBE Roy Williams has his ‪#‎UNC‬ Tarheels doing drills on how to beat the press? ‪#‎FinalFour‬ ‪#‎Syracuse‬

#‎Virginia‬ lost 15 point lead to Syracuse yesterday in under 4 min. Cavaliers hadn’t suddenly looked that bad since 2007  when ‪#‎Cleveland‬ was swept by  the ‪#‎Spurs‬

Dirk Nowitzki, 37, told ESPN that he’s thought about playing beyond his contract that ends with Dallas in 2017. Well, by then Dirk might almost be old enough to sign with the Spurs.

 

Colts owner Jim Irsay is now saying of football “”I believe this: That the game has always been a risk, you know…. You take an aspirin and I take an aspirin. It might give you extreme side effects of illness and your body . . . may reject it, where I would be fine.”
Hmm, looks like not only can you get CTE from playing football, you can get it from owning a team.

A new biography says that Kris Jenner helped her daughter Kim Kardashian leak her sex tape. “I’m shocked,” said nobody.

All of these “urgent” fundraising emails saying “we’re almost at our goal.” Just once I would like to get an email saying “Thanks, we made our goal and we don’t need any money.” ‪#‎wecandream‬

 

 

Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal, a Republican, vetoed a “religious freedom” bill that had many businesses, movie studios and even the NFL up in arms over it being discriminatory against LGBTs.  He said the bill was “unnecessary,” and “allowed outsiders to cast doubt on the character of Georgia and Georgians.”
And guessing Deal had billion$ of other rea$on$.

Donald Trump, when asked on a Wisconsin radio about disparaging women “But certainly I never thought I would run for office.”
Right, so he gets a clean slate? But did he forgot about that 2000 campaign?

U.S. shooting suspect Larry Dawson apparently disrupted a Congressional hearing last fall, saying he was a “prophet of God.” And so he has been different from Ted Cruz how?

Another of those stories you can’t make up. Alabama Governor Robert Bentley denies an affair, despite recently released recordings where he talks about kissing his advisor and about her breasts. Well, Bentley’s a BIble-thumper kind of guy -so maybe he was reading her the Song of Solomon?

Anthony Weiner said to Huffington Post “I’m probably the best campaign politician you’ll ever interview. I mean, I’m like perfectly evolved. I’m like the Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terminator…”
Hmm, does that mean there’s a kid with one of his housekeepers somewhere?

From T.C. “A North Carolina man was arrested for failing to return a VHS rental tape from 14 years ago to a now defunct video store. The outstanding fine is $200. On top of that, there’s a 50 cent fee if he didn’t rewind it.”

Explore posts in the same categories: GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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