Countdown.

The NFL is apparently looking into shortening the preseason to three games. Well, that would only be about two games too long.

 

The University of Tennessee has offered football scholarships to 20 students from IMG Academy, a Florida boarding school. So what does this academy do to have their athletes so prepared for college – offer all fake classes?

The ACC says it will not suspend Duke star guard Grayson Allen for tripping an FSU player yesterday, the second time Allen was seen apparently deliberately tipping an opponent. No reason given but it should be obvious – he’s from Duke.

 

A 20 year old woman in England has been hospitalized with Toxic Shock Syndrome after forgetting to remove a tampon for nine days. Okay, sounds horrible, but that’s not Toxic Shock Syndrome, that’s Toxic Stupid Syndrome.

#‎DonaldTrump‬ and ‪#‎ChrisChristie‬ together – Talk about a bully pulpit.

If it’s a Trump-Christie ticket  on the GOP side, will our proposed new U.S. slogan be “carry a big stick and shout at the top of your lungs.

Chris Christie is certainly Machiavellian enough…. any chance he endorsed ‪#‎Trump‬ in hopes of a cabinet position offer from Hillary?

Chris Christie “There is no better fighter than Donald Trump. So did the N.J. Governor think he was endorsing Trump for the Presidency of the WBC?

One of Donald Trump’s latest tweets “Wow. Every poll said I won the debate last night. Great honer.” Wonder if the Donald’s spell checker is from Oaklahoma?

(my friend Christopher Green says, well, the B and the H are close together on the keyboard, maybe his hand slipped.)

This quote from Lindsey Graham has gone viral recently. “If you kill Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody could convict you.” Hmm, maybe that’s who Trump was talking about shooting on Fifth Avenue.

 

·

‪#‎LindseyGraham‬ says the ‪#‎GOP‬ has gone “batshit” crazy. Prompting calls for an apology. From bats.

 

Tax experts say it’s unlikely that Donald Trump has really been audited personally 12 years in a row, but that he’s likely referring to himself and the companies he owns or owns part of. So I get it, when it comes to audits, Trump and his companies are the same thing. When it’s bankruptcies…..

 

Bernie Sanders may not do big fancy fundraisers, but his campaign sends more emails than a flock of Nigerian princes. At least two-three a day… and I never signed up to support him.

 

 

Well, just in case you had a bright idea to beat traffic to Chavez Ravine: this tweet from Andy McCullough at the LA TImes “The Dodgers have told Yasiel Puig he can not, theoretically, fly a helicopter to Dodger Stadium. Federal law prohibits it, the FAA says.”
Guess we need to standby for another year of Puigy being Puigy.

Explore posts in the same categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized

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