Archive for March 5, 2015

« Left Coast Sports Babe home page

Busted and broken.

March 5, 2015

Hunter Pence may have a broken arm after being hit by a pitch from Chicago Cubs prospect Corey Black. So is this the Cubs’ strategy to win the NL this year? Start eliminating the competition?

–

Harrison Ford has apparently been injured when a small plane he was piloted crashed onto a Southern California golf course. Was Ford trying to adjust his left blinker at the time?

–

Some very smart high-energy dogs, like Border Collies and Jack Russell terriers, can be great to have around, but they are easily bored. Which means when they have nothing to do, they FIND something to do. Now, how would you like to be Bruce Bochy with a sidelined Hunter Pence hanging out in the SF Giants dugout?

–

And we thought the Jeter circus was over. Today Brian Cashman said – “As far as I’m concerned, and I’m not the decision-maker on this, that captaincy should be retired with number 2. I wouldn’t give up another captain title to anybody else.” So Jeter isn’t just the most-hyped Yankee ever, he’s the most important Yankee ever? ‪#‎sowhenwillNYmakeJetersbirthdayaholiday‬?

–

With all this flap over Hillary’s emails, wonder if Joe Biden is begging reporters to ask about HIS emails? Somebody, anybody want to read them? Please?

–

The woman who was sexting with Anthony Weiner now is claiming that an unnamed Democratic politician from the Midwest sent her texts begging to be “to be tied up and left in a closet.” Ah for the good old days when men just picked up prostitutes in hotel bars.

 

Your daily Florida item?    A Fort Myers man is claiming he fatally shot his neighbor in self-defense. Then he put the body in his pickup and drove to his lawyer’s office. Come on, Texas and Arizona, catch up!

–

So regarding Daniel Murphy and his “gay lifestyle” comment, what’s a “gay lifestyle?” Know gay working parents and couples who seem to have a lifestyle that doesn’t differ much from my heterosexual friends. Is he implying single gays hook up more often than single heterosexuals. Think the success of Tinder would indicate otherwise…..

–

Meanwhile, regarding that “heterosexual lifestyle, ”  Chris Soules, the “Bachelor”, is apparently now going on “Dancing With The Stars.” Is it just me, or is it seeming increasingly likely this guy isn’t ever going back to farming in Iowa?

–

The Pittsburgh ‪#‎Steelers‬ are apparently set to release ‪#‎TroyPolamalu‬. So sad, forget the face, he’s been the hair of the franchise.

–

A Delta flight today landed at New York’s LaGuardia airport and skidded off the runway into a snow bank. So did they at least give passengers credit for the extra distance traveled in their frequent flier accounts?

–

LaGuardia announced today their airport was is closed due to a runway “incident.” “Incident?!”. Right. Better I guess than saying “We gotta broken plane that’s stuck in a snowbank. You gotta problem with that?”

 

From T.C.  “A Delta flight skidded off the runway this morning during a steady snowfall at New York’s LaGuardia airport. Passengers evacuated safely and were bussed to a nearby Delta terminal. The ones that paid the $5 Bus Fee, that is.”

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Comments: 2 Comments

Tastes of spring?

March 5, 2015

USC researchers claim they have found a hormone – called MOTS-c – that works in mice as an alternative to exercise. And they say MOTS-c may some day allow people both to lose weight and regulate their blood sugar. Awesome. Can they put it in a pill made of chocolate?

–

The founders of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream said last month that they are open to someday making a marijuana-infused flavor. Ben Cohen on Huffington Post: “It makes sense to me. Combine your pleasures. … where it’s legal!”

Major funding for this campaign will no doubt be provided by 7-11.

–

How sweet it is in Northern California to get in your car to run an errand, and the first thing you hear from the radio is Jon Miller – “2 and 0 count, Posey on deck….” ‪#‎springiscoming‬

–

Peyton Manning will apparently take a $4 million pay cut next season. If he’s smart presume Peyton will demand the Broncos spend the money on the O-line.

–

A California high school girls’ basketball team was kicked out of the playoffs for wearing pink and white uniforms to raise awareness for breast cancer research. They have now been reinstated. But presumably the office who booted them in the first place has been offered a job with the NFL?

 

Former Sony Pictures co-chair Amy Pascal transitioning to a producer,but her assigned new suite was formerly used by Seth Rogen, and apparently she says she can’t move into it because of the strong stench of marijuana smoke. So Sony is repainting the office. They couldn’t have just moved her and just offered the suite to younger producers? ‪#‎EaudeColorado‬

–

American Airlines passengers on a flight that arrived in Denver today had to slide down off the plane on emergency chutes, after smoke was reported in the plane. Fortunately no fire was found, and American has generously offered to waive their slide ride fee.

–

Nearly 1,000 flights have already been cancelled today and tomorrow because of the latest storms in the U.S. So when we finally reach Spring which airline will be the first to institute a “Winter recovery” fee.

–

“State’s snow levels reach historic lows” Not sure who’s more upset about that SF Chronicle headline. Drought-weary Californians. Or winter-weary Bostonians.

–

Dr. Ben Carson said today that the proof homosexuality is a choice is that “a lot of people go into prison straight, and when they come out, they’re gay.” Well, looks like the good doctor is making an early play for that all important stupid vote.

 

Ben Carson,  several hours later, upon further reflection: “I do not pretend to know how every individual came to their sexual orientation, I regret that my words to express that concept were hurtful and divisive. For that I apologize unreservedly to all that were offended.” Translation, someone just told me there are gay Republicans, and they vote.

 

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment