On the clock

Former Oregon coach Chip Kelly drafted former Stanford star Zach Ertz. Guess Kelly always wanted to know what it was like to coach a student-athlete.

LSU CB Tharold Simon, projected to be drafted Friday, was arrested last night in his Louisiana hometown on charges of threatening a police officer, public intimidation and noise violation. So was this Simon’s last ditch effort to be drafted by the Bengals?

(Simon update,  not drafted yet at time of posting.  Maybe better to save your arrests until you actually are part of the NFL?)

As of Friday night, is Matt Barkley looking into whether or not he has another year of eligibility at #USC?

From Alex Kaseberg:  The San Diego Chargers selected Manti Te’o. Or is it just somebody on twitter and Facebook pretending to be the San Diego Chargers?

(At least T’eo didn’t get drafted by the NY Jets. Who these days are pretending to be a professional football team.)

And with Manti T’eo to the San Diego Chargers, expect opposing stadiums to cue the “California Dreaming” music.

A U.S. brother and sister are recovering after a 14-hour swim to safety in St. Lucia when their boat sank during a fishing excursion. The pair are thinking it could have been worse – at least they hadn’t booked a Carnival Cruise.

Gwyneth Paltrow told Ellen Degeneres that she was “humiliated” by a see-through dress she wore to the Premiere of Iron Man. Here’s a hint Gwyneth, it IS possible to try clothes on in front of a mirror.

Coach Rick Pitino had to get a tattoo after he promised to get inked if his Louisvlle Cardinals won the National Championship. Well, at least that’s one worry no one ever has managing the Chicago Cubs.

Los Angeles #Lakers against the San Antonio #Spurs. As far as Jack Nicholson is concerned, it’s Too Few Good Men.

Air traffic delays fixed. Now if we could figure out a way to REALLY make the sequester hurt members of Congress we’d have the whole budget settled in a week.

(My friend Keith Odgen suggests furloughing their staff.)

The sequester continues, but Congress managed to fix the furloughs that involved air travel. Which is good news for travelers. And bad news for airlines who are losing a major excuse for delays.

 

So much yellow at Oracle Arena for the Denver Nuggets-Golden State Warriors game last night – almost as if the Oregon Duck exploded.

So Lindsey Graham is now trying to blame the Boston bombings on Obama by saying the suspects should have been under closer surveillance. Considering that the FBI Watch List has about 500,000 people on it, would Senator Graham like to discuss 1- How that’s logistically possible? 2- How are we going to pay for it?

Explore posts in the same categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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