Archive for April 10, 2013

Move over Babe, here comes Barry.

April 10, 2013

If the National League had the DH, SF Giants fans wouldn’t now be enjoying the great slugging run of Barry Zito, currently batting .750 with three sacrifice bunts.

Zito’s doing so well, MLB was about to check him for PEDs….  Until they noticed the radar gun and that 70mph fastball…

Okay, it’s early, as of this afternoon  9 days into the season, the SF Giants’ Barry Zito has as many hits as the LA Dodgers’ Matt Kemp. (3.  Though Kemp got 2 tonight. Zito also only has 1 less than Josh Hamilton.)

A University of California, Davis professor said in a presentation today that we need more research on hangovers. Sounds like the SEC has a new potential project for their football student-athletes.

MSN reports that Carnival Cruise Lines has slashed prices for some inside cabins to $38 a night per person, barely more than the cost of a Motel 6. But of course at Motel 6 they promise to leave the light on for you.

Taco Bell says they are going to provide “balanced food choices.” And that by 2020, 20 % of their combo meals will meet nutritional guidelines for calories and fat set out by the federal government. Which should thrill Taco Bell customers who care about that sort of thing. Both of them.

Notre Dame QB Gunner Kiel says he is transferring to Cincinnati. In high school Kiel committed to Indiana and then LSU, before he finally ended up at Notre Dame. But now Gunner, who wants to start, is leaving the Fighting Irish because they won’t commit to him.

Amazing, the same people who don’t think ANYONE should have a background check to buy a gun don’t want to let a sexually-active 17 year old girl buy her own birth control….

Really? – Joe Paterno’s widow Sue, speaking at a child-abuse prevention program, says she and her husband had no idea that Jerry Sandusky was a sexual predator. Isn’t having a Paterno speak about child-abuse like having Mike Rice speak on anger-management?

And we think Americans are harsh towards politicians. In England, while many mourn Maggie Thatcher’s death, a Facebook campaign, called “Make Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead number one the week Thatcher dies”, has the Wizard of Oz song up to #3 with over 10,000 downloads in two days.

Ouch. Poor Karen Carpenter is dead, but if not that American Idol performance from Lazaro might have killed her.

(on the other hand, Candice Glover’s “Lovesong” on Youtube is worth 4 minutes of your time, IMHO.)

The #MiamiHeat beat the Washington Wizards 103-98 with James, Wade and Bosh sitting out. So will David Stern fine them anyway?

Police said a Northern California woman used a stun gun today to break up a fight over a seat aboard a BART train. Cool, wonder how she is on obnoxious cellphone users…

 

The Washington Nationals’ game was delayed 20 minutes tonight because the umpiring crew was stuck in traffic. I blame Obama.

 

From Bill Littlejohn:  The Fenway Park sellout streak ends at 820.   Many Sox fans feel that the most signifigant sellout during the streak was when Damon signed with the Yankees”

Bear arms,… arm bears….. It’s so confusing.

April 10, 2013

A circus elephant escaped serious injury when she was hit by a bullet in a drive-by shooting in Tupelo, Miss. Waiting for the NRA to issue a statement saying that we now need to arm elephants.

Stephen Colbert apparently has convinced Bill Clinton to open a Twitter account. But once again, I think we can all be happy that the former president never had the ability to text or send camera phone pictures while in office.

Many Colorado Rockies fans were complaining because the team doesn’t have their home opener until April 15. Today’s high temperature in Denver? 18 degrees. I think this is Mother Nature’s way of saying “STFU.”

 

Scripps National Spelling Bee just announced that semi-finalists will now also have to know the meaning of the words they spell in the competition. Great. Yet another way for 11 year olds to make us feel stupid.

At least 15 people were injured in an attack at a Texas college near Houston. So far injuries only. But then there is no such thing as a semi-automatic knife.

Tom Cruise now says that he “did not expect” Katie Holmes’ abrupt filing for divorce last year. What? Tom must have thought it was a 10 year contract instead of five.

 

As the NBA draft declarations begin have to wonder why colleges raise NCAA tournament banners any more. Not like any of the players on the teams are ever there the following year to see them.

 

Former V.P. Dick Cheney spoke to Republican lawmakers Tuesday about North Korea, and reportedly told them “We’re in deep doo-doo.” “Deep doo-doo?!” And this is the man who was supposed to be W’s adult supervision?

 

Golden State Warriors heading to the playoffs for the 2nd time in the last 19 years. Or as Chicago Cubs fans call that – “practically a dynasty.”

How scary a stat is this?  (From Gregg Drinnan of the Kamloops Daily News in British Columbia “Lakers center Dwight Howard has missed more free throws this season than Steve Nash has missed in his 17-year career.,”

And if anyone’s reading this in Orlando they’re just giggling….

Tigers DH Victor Martinez missed today’s game when he needed stitches after cutting his thumb on the bat rack at Comerica Park. In San Francisco, Bruce Bochy issued an order to keep Jeremy Affeldt away from the bat rack.

(Giants fans can just imagine Affeldt running his hand along the rack….”So how could you possibly cut yourself on one of these… Oh sh*t.”..)