Posted tagged ‘Stanford Oregon jokes’

Nerd party

November 8, 2013

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Big nerd party.  In Palo Alto.  And please note, the band is NOT on the field.  Guess they learned with the 1982 Big Game with John Elway.

You do get the sense more than a few Stanford players got really tired of being referred to as “nice” and “soft” this week. #fearthetree

Well, many expected the Stanford Oregon game would be a shutout at halftime. They were right.

And before tonight, for anyone who was buying the b.s. narrative that Stanford football players are overly nice and soft, I have two words for you – “Richard Sherman.”

The SF 49ers expect Aldon Smith to play Sunday against the Panthers, less than two weeks out of rehab and after both a DUI and being arrested on felony weapons charges earlier this year. I’m sure the fact that he is a star has NOTHING to do with it….

The FDA is trying now eventually to remove all artificial trans fats – like shortening and margarine, out of the food supply, because they are too dangerous to people’s health. Vindication for all of us who never gave up butter!

Steve Patterson, the new University of Texas AD, says he doesn’t expect major changes. And alums are thinking, well, we were kind of hoping the football team starts actually winning….

Charming. Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland, the one who asked Dez Bryant if his mom was a prostitute, apparently that suggested that Jonathan Martin “punch” Incognito. And the New Orleans Saints are thinking “Hey at least we went after people who weren’t on our own team?”

NY Yankees manager Joe Girardi says that Alex Rodriguez’s hearing is “complicating” things for the team this offseason. With all due respect, hasn’t A-Rod complicated things for the team since the day he arrived?

The NY Times reports that CIA is paying AT&T more than $10 million per year for “limited access” to the company’s of phone records. Actually AT&T only was probably officially charging them $50,000 – the rest is overage charges.

John Boehner will not bring ENDA to the House floor, because he “believes this legislation will increase frivolous litigation and cost American jobs.” Well, and if anyone is an expert on frivolity and costing American jobs, it’s the man who had Government workers stay home for 2 weeks over not voting on a spending bill..

A California man went skydiving for the first time on his 100th birthday. Guess he wanted to wait until his great-grandchildren were old enough to cosign his liability waiver?

From Gary Bachman  “The Chicago Cubs hired Padres bench coach Rick Renteria as their new manager. Renteria hopes this experience will someday enable him to land a job as a major league manager.”

A new video has emerged showing Toronto Mayor Rob Ford in an apparent drunken rage threatening to “murder” someone and “poke his eyes out.”  This man doesn’t want to be mayor, he wants to join the Miami Dolphins.

Roger Goodell had to be wishing for anything to change the NFL headlines this week with the Dolphins mess. So now we have Tony Dorsett along with other former stars announcing they have been diagnosed with CTE.

Slip sliding away.

November 13, 2011

Well, the high wet grass was SUPPOSED to help Stanford tonight. Instead their BCS title hopes and maybe Andrew Luck’s Heisman hopes went slip sliding away.

(It’s as if Oregon had the right cleats and the Cardinal didn’t. And then there was their inability to hold on to a wet football. Stanford played like they had never been in damp weather before. It’s not rocket science, and they’re supposed to have the rocket scientists anyway.)

But ever onward.

As far as the team really “Sucking for Luck” can I nominate his Stanford teammates?

Open note to Stanford fans who saw tonight’s ugly game and thought “Most embarrassing week ever.” There’s a lot of folks who would trade places with us in State College.

The best news for the BCS. After today there’s much less chance of the Stanford band getting to take on Penn State in the Rose Bowl.

Cam Hutchinson on the Penn State mess: “Joe Paterno was fired as the football coach. When asked how he felt about it, the 84-year-old Paterno said, ‘I coached football?'”

Another serious thought about this Penn State mess and the alleged coverup that went far beyond State College. Jerry Sandusky was considered a great defensive coordinator and potential head coach. But after he resigned in 1999, no university offered him a job. This in a sport where Rick Neuheisel, Lane Kiffin, George O’Leary had no problem getting rehired after scandals….


Hugh Hefner apparently told an interviewer that Lindsay Lohan will be “fully nude” in Playboy magazine’s Jan-Feb issue. And that the spread will be “classy, very classy.” This might be the first time in recent memory that Lohan and “classy” have been used in the same sentence.

In tonight’s GOP debate Jon Huntsman made a calm statement about avoiding a trade war with China, and also said “We diminish our standing in the world and the values that we project, which include liberty, democracy, human rights and open markets, when we torture. Waterboarding is torture. We shouldn’t torture.” If the man gets any more reasonable he’ll be polling in negative numbers.

Meanwhile, when asked about his many flip-flops, Mitt Romney replied “I think people understand that I’m a man of steadiness and constancy.” Is Mitt counting on the fact that most Americans may not understand the meaning of three syllable words like “steadiness” and “constancy?”

NBA commissioner David Stern is blaming “greedy” NBA agents for trying to scuttle a new labor deal. Right, as opposed to all those benevolent billionaires who just have the players’ best interests at heart.

That story of former porn star Sasha Grey reading children’s stories to first graders in Compton, CA is still generating some anger. Mostly from fathers who weren’t notified in advance and given a chance to attend.

Rick Perry did better at tonight’s GOP debate. But he didn’t get a chance to say what he really wanted -the three reasons he is still the best candidate. The Texas Governor planned to explain both of them.