Posted tagged ‘Ryan jokes’

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Cattiness?

September 10, 2012

USC QB Matt Barkley on the NCAA sanctions: “People thought we were going to be a broken program for years and years. The institution tried to crush us, and we came out victorious.” Can’t imagine how the Trojans get their reputation for arrogance.

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Joe Biden referred to today’s GOP as “a different breed of cat.” Prompting demands for an apology from cat owners.

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Mitt Romney said in a speech today, that “I will not take God out of the name of our platform” and “I will not take God off our coins.” Shocking, with his mega-millions, Romney has ever looked at an actual coin?

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Question of the day.  Is RG3 that good?  Or is the Saints defense that bad?

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Shocking state of the week in college football – there are almost as many Pac 12 teams (5) as there are SEC teams (6) in the top 25.

(although in case any football fans fear this is a sign of the apocalypse , some order has been restored –  Alabama and LSU are 1-2.)

 

Mitt Romney said this morning on “Meet the Press”  that  he liked and would keep some parts of Obamacare. Then later today he told the National Review his positions on repealing it hadn’t changed.  Wow.  I  could never even change my Etch a Sketch pictures THAT fast.

 

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The New York Yankees are furious over a questionable game-ending call that one NY paper said could cost them the AL East. Well, that and the fact that a team with a $197 million payroll now isn’t outplaying one with a payroll of $81 million.

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Arkansas 31, Louisiana-Monroe 34, in overtime. Gosh, I hope the SEC doesn’t use this as an excuse to lower academic standards to attract better athletes.

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Paul Ryan says that Obama has “gone to great lengths to make oil and gas more expensive.” Yep, the President will stop at nothing to get re-elected.

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So wonder how long it will take Paul Ryan to accuse Barack Obama of keeping unemployment artificially high?

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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Two hours and 121 minutes

September 3, 2012

 

 

If the Paul Ryan marathon lie turns out to make a difference in the election it may be the first major political story broken by “Runner’s World.”

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The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has denied Kim Kardiashian’s request for a star., saying receipients need “to have a career in the business of acting for five years or more.” And Kim is a bit deficient in both the career and the acting department.

 

 

Quote of the week? “He and his wife have been wealthy for a number of years, and so I think that’s really the issue. What does he understand about the common man right now?” Michele Bachmann, talking about President Obama.. (Yes, she said it.)

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Bobby Jindal and President Obama apparently had a perfectly civil visit today touring La Place, LA. Maybe that’s a reason Mitt Romney chose Paul Ryan as a running mate….he’s not a governor of a state that might need federal help from a natural disaster.

 

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Governor Jindal does hope to get an immediate commitment of federal funds from President Obama,  so he can go back to railing about wasteful government spending as soon as possible.

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Mitt Romney’s  Monday tweet.  “Labor Day is a chance to celebrate the strong American work ethic, but too many Americans are worrying when their next paycheck will come.”   No mention of labor unions?  I’m shocked, shocked.

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From Gary M. ” Nittany Lions fans no longer shout, “We are, Penn State!” Now they’re shouting, “We are, State Penn!”

 

 

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Open note to Washington Nationals from  SF Giants fans:    Stephen Strasburg is scheduled for only two more starts, against the Cubs and Mets. Why not save the guy for a tougher opponent….for example a week later against the Dodgers?

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One reason the NCAA has been against a real football playoff system is that it would interfere with classes.   Right, as opposed to things like Monday night college football?

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Britain’s Prince Andrew, 52, rappelled 239 metres down the side of London’s “The Shard,” this morning to raise money for charity. He went from the 87th to the 20th floor in 30 minutes. “Big deal,” said Paul Ryan, “I did it in 20.”

 

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