Posted tagged ‘Pawlenty jokes’

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The 2012 Amazing Race.

August 15, 2011

Just wondering, all these folks saying it’s God’s will that they run for President. Well, if God really does weigh in on these matters, I’m waiting for the first person to acknowledge God told them to sit down and STFU.

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Tim Pawlenty on Sunday dropped out of the Presidential race. Thus surprising millions of Americans who didn’t know he was IN the Presidential race.

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From Marc Ragovin: After finishing way out of the running in the Iowa straw poll, Tim Pawlenty said that he was dropping his presidential bid and would throw his support behind the eventual GOP nominee. That’s like the Clippers announcing that they are ceding five minutes of practice time to the Lakers.

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Keegan Bradley has won the PGA championship in a playoff. Even Scott Verplank and Steve Stricker are going, “Who?”

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The Southeastern Conference decided not to expand for football at this time and said they will not be adding Texas A and M. Maybe they’re holding out for a team that might be a better fit – the Carolina Panthers.

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Sarah Palin doesn’t seem too thrilled by Rick Perry’s decision to run for President: ““I was quite sure he wasn’t going to run because he was quite adamant about it about four months ago. Evidently, he evolved in his thinking.” Okay, political junkies, this might be the first time Palin acknowledged the concept of evolution.

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The San Francisco 49ers are now reportedly even looking at Daunte Culpepper at QB. Stay tuned, how long can it be until Harbaugh puts in a call to Brett Favre?

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Maybe the SF Giants are finally learning: Sometimes what you really need to complete an ensemble is a good Belt.

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Michele Bachmann stated today “I haven’t gone one place in Iowa or South Carolina or New Hampshire where anyone said, ‘Please raise my taxes.” Fair enough, but has she gone anywhere in any of those states where they said “Please cut my services, my Medicare or my social security.

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Since SF Giants manager Bruce Bochy was running out of players, in the ninth inning he ordered reliever Santiago Casilla not to swing (lest he risk hurting himself.)

Casilla walked on four pitches. Maybe Bochy should issue the same order to some of his struggling position players.

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A friend of mine got a suggestion from Twitter to follow Snooki. Wow. Snooki can write?

(and count to 140?)

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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End of the line?

August 13, 2011

Volatile Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano now says he is retiring. He says he wants to spend more time throwing at his family.

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In Iowa, Saturday is the Ames Straw Poll for GOP Presidential candidates. Not really sure on the point of a straw poll -maybe we can say the winner s*cks the most?

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All this fuss about the Iowa straw poll. Is it really a good idea to give that much power in picking a U.S. President to a state where a popular food is deep-fried butter?

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(Thinking back to that line in “Field of Dreams,” – “Is this heaven? No it’s Iowa.” Maybe that deep-fried butter is a way to get to heaven faster.)

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Sarah Palin said she will decide about running for President by September. Sounds reasonable. That gives her plenty of time to drop out halfway through the primaries
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The latest college football realignment rumor is that Florida State will also move to the SEC. Now, I’m not a rules expert, but wouldn’t the Seminoles need to get some approvals from parole officers first?

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Tacky, but… an 18 year old has been kicked off the U.S. Ski Team’s Development squad after he got so drunk (yeah, 18, I know) before a JetBlue flight that he ended up urinating on an 11 year old girl who was also a passenger on the flight. Talk about piss poor judgment.

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Kim Kardashian’s wedding is about one week away. Can someone explain to me why we should care?

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Pittsburgh Pirates came into SF with 10 game losing streak. Florida Marlins had 7 game losing streak. How do you spell relief? G-I-A-N-T-S H-I-T-T-I-N-G.

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Sesame Street producers say Ernie and Bert are “just friends” and there is no need for them to get married. But what of other longtime companions out there? Like Rocky and Bullwinkle….

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So this weekend at the PGA championship will be Tiger-less. For television executives it will go down in recent history as the “cruelest cut.”

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From T.C. that TW logo on Tiger’s hat now equals Train Wreck

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Ah, the generosity of corporations. The price of oil is dropping. So how is Delta Airlines reacting? By announcing a $100 international surcharge on tickets purchased after August 15.

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Here we go again, another Texas Governor running for President. What is that line about “Those who cannot remember the past….?”

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Of course, I’m biased, the only Texas Governor I would have voted for for President was Ann Richards.

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News reports are saying that Michele Bachmann and Tim Pawlenty got into a spirited exchange in the Iowa debate. Surprised Minnesotans think this is the first time they’ve seen “Pawlenty’ and “spirited” in the same sentence.

Lastly, an open note to readers, you are welcome to quote anything I write IF you give attribution – leftcoastsportsbabe.com – or just janice hough. But no fun at all to see verbatim quotes – on Fark.com – for example, as someone else’s work. Not cool either.

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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Comments: 6 Comments