Posted tagged ‘Jason Kidd jokes’

« Left Coast Sports Babe home page

Risky business.

July 17, 2012

Another day, another sports DUI arrest.  (Today the NFL  Seahawks’ Marshawn Lynch.) Maybe teams should start adding “doing your own driving” to prohibited activities like spelunking and skydiving.

–

NY Police reportedly say that Jason Kidd was so drunk when HE was arrested he didn’t even know how he had crashed his car. Kidd was signed to be a mentor to Jeremy Lin – Uh, maybe to give him advice like “Dude, when you’re hammered, call a taxi?”

–

From Maaj  “Jason Kidd got a DWI. He tried to pass the sobriety test but it got picked off.”

–

–

Joe Paterno’s family is denying the Louis Freeh report’s findings. Sounds like denial is genetic.

–

Interesting. Many of the people who said that Joe Paterno was NOT getting doddering and senile, are now defending him by saying he was….

–

The President and Vice President attended tonight’s exhibition game between the U.S. and Brazil. Team USA had to rally from an early 10 point deficit to win 80-69. Just as well, otherwise the GOP would have one more thing for which to blame Obama.

–

Kudos to Susan Collins of Maine just cast her 5000th consecutive vote. (Third longest ever.). As one of the few moderates in the Senate, Collins often has to be one of the deciding votes on close bills. So this ought to silence (again) those who believe women don’t have the stomach for tough politics.

–

Cincinnati star Joey Votto will have surgery on a torn meniscus, and will be out 3-4 weeks. The injury was sustained June 29, when the Reds were playing….San Francisco. Yep, the Giants broke ANOTHER player.

(Oscar B. says, “how long until an MLB investigation?”)

–

Target is now stocking new same-sex marriage along with tradtional marriage cards. Very cool. The company is embracing tolerance, or at least LGBT buying power.

–

Nadia Lockyer resigned in April her Alameda County, California, board of supervisor’s position after a drug/sex scandal. Today state treasurer Bill Lockyer has filed for divorce. And who saw this coming?

–

Donald J. Sobol, 87, has passed away. He authored the Encyclopedia Brown series. Wonder how many clues mourners will have to find to make it to his funeral.

–

Lindsay Lohan’s dad is going to have another child with his sometimes girlfriend Kate Major. It’s times like these that you wish the requirements to become a parent were at least as strict as adopting a pet from the Humane Society.

–

 

Golden State Warriors center is apparently being investigating in his home country of Latvia for alleged income tax evasion. Well, that’s a change. An NBA player evading taxes? Usually it’s child support.

–

Tim Pawlenty for Romney’s V.P.? Well, maybe they figured Pawlenty was one of the few people who could make Romney look like “Mr. Excitement.”

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: 3 Comments

In-Decision.

July 16, 2012

The Dwight Howard potential trade mess drags on, and on…. At this point Howard might have a better reputation if he had just made a decision and announced it on an ESPN special.

 

–

As #Retroactive retirement now becomes part of the controversy over when exactly Mitt Romney left Bain, some GOP leaders have to be thinking “Wait a minute, John McCain was supposed to be the candidate with the memory problem.”

–

Actually is it too soon to nominate “retroactive retirement” as the phrase of the year?

–

With all this discussion as to whether or not Penn State’s football program should at least temporarily receive the “Death Penalty,”  here’s a question – if it had been a school without the national reputation and bowl records, would this even be a debate?

–

–

On the first pitch of Sundays SF Giants Houston Astros game,   Jordan Schafer tried to bunt to break up Cain’s perfect game.

(he bunted foul, and ended up making an out,  but Cain gave up a hit in the third.)

–

A 3-year-old Indiana boy apparently accidentally shot and killed his father after finding the man’s loaded handgun. Stand by for the NRA’s announcement – “Guns don’t kill people, toddlers kill people.”

–

Mitt Romney released a negative ad against President Obama accusing him of negativity. Standby for the next Obama ad accusing Romney of going negative in response to their criticism, and then the next negative Romney ad in response to that…. (Sometimes it’s nice not to live in a swing state.)

–

Looks like Jeremy Lin is heading to Houston. Standby for “Y’aLL-insanity.”

–

Jason Kidd arrested for DUI after crashing his car into a light pole last night. Over-under on the number of “driving the lane” jokes this week?

(From Marty Burtwell, “he had one too many triple-doubles.”)

–

Rolling Stones celebrated their 50th anniversary last week. With perhaps a rousing chorus of “You Can’t Always Remember What You Want?”

–

Actress Celeste Holm has passed away at the age of 95. This is shocking. Celeste Holm was still alive?

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Comments: 3 Comments