Posted tagged ‘GOP debate joke’

Best of the best?

August 17, 2015

Robert Griffin III just said, “I feel like I’m the best quarterback in the league, and I have to go out and show that.” With all due respect, RGIII first needs to show he’s the best QB on the Redskins.

New description of the GOP primary, as most of the candidates, including Carly Fiorina, seem to be trying to out macho each other – “Running of the Bullsh*t.”

KFC is switching the actor playing Colonel Sanders from SNL alum Darrell Hammond to SNL alum Norm Macdonald. Uh, just my opinion, it’s not the actor that’s the problem. ‪#‎ColonelSandersandGeneralissmoFrancisoFrancoarestilldead‬

Jon Stewart will apparently be the host of Sunday’s WWE SummerSlam. If this goes well, maybe Stewart take on some REAL spectacle fighting, like one of the Presidential debates.

United Airlines is going to change their United Club policy next year so that passengers can only enter with same-day boarding passes. Wonderful news for all those who have meetings with colleagues who have taken red-eye flights and will no longer be able to shower on arrival.

Even if it makes it harder to build a potential new stadium, Washington Redskins president Bruce Allen said that the team will not change its name. Many are wondering, could they at least take “Washington” off?

Todd Courser, the Michigan lawmaker who faked allegations of gay sex with a prostitute to cover up an affair with colleague, has posted a nearly 2000 word scripture-filled statement on his FB page.

And he talks about how men have come forward to confess their own “failures in fidelity” to him, adding ‘several have come forward to share their pain for participating in/and addicted to pornography and what that has wrought in themselves and their families. And finally a couple have come forward to express their guilt and shame for being faith filled but struggling with how to reconcile that with having homosexual tendencies and trying to reconcile that with their faith”

At this point even God somewhere is thinking “Just STFU.”

Christine Ouzounian, the ex-nanny whose rumored affair with Ben Affleck reportedly was the final straw in his marriage to Jennifer Garner , apparently is interested in becoming the next “Bachelorette.” Is her goal to prove a woman can end up as universally disliked as Juan Pablo. ‪#‎itsokay‬

Greg Oden, the 2007 #1 NBA draft pick, has signed with the Jiangsu Dragons of Chinese league. Could be a good fit. The Chinese are taught to respect their elders.

MadisonBumgarner‬ at the plate at AT&T Park in 2014-15. .304 batting average, .714 slugging percentage, 7 home runs. ‪#‎DHmyass‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

My friend Scott Russell forwarded me this from Boston: Pablo Sandoval sat out Sunday’s game with a sore elbow after he was hit by a pitch Saturday. Acting Red Sox manager Torey Lovullo: “He’s such a finely tuned athete. Those are the types of bodies we’re dealing with here. When something is a little off, we’re making sure he takes his time to get it OK before he gets back in there.”

And Lovullo said it with a straight face.

Tennis champ Novak Djokovic won the Montreal Masters despite complaining to the umpire “Someone is smoking weed, I can smell it, I’m getting dizzy.” Well, as great a player as Djokovic is, he has never been at his very best on grass.

Honeymoon phase:

June 14, 2011

Okay, it’s all sweetness and light now, but how long until the Dallas Mavericks get booed again in Los Angeles?

Many pundits are using Miami’s defeat in the NBA finals as proof you can’t buy a championship. And somewhere George Steinbrenner is just quietly chuckling….

The Lebron James school of how to win friends in action again – “All the people that were rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today.” Yes, Lebron, but isn’t sports supposed to be an escape? And right now those people are smiling.

Actually Monday morning, folks in Cleveland woke up with smiles as big as those in Ann Arbor reading about Jim Tressell’s resignation.

Newt Gingrich’s sister said her brother won’t end his presidential campaign despite the resignation of most of his campaign staff – “He doesn’t give up that easily,” said Candace Gingrich-Jones. No, not on campaigns. Only on his marriages.

Got to hand it to Lebron James. He may have set a new sports record for tarnishing an image without doing anything illegal and while keeping his pants on.

Speaking of which, it’s Tuesday morning already. So where are today’s latest Anthony Weiner pictures?

President Obama is visiting Puerto Rico today. So which Republican candidate will be the first to chastise him for wasting time and money travelling to a foreign country?

Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan is under house arrest due to jail overcrowding, and this weekend she threw a rooftop party for her friends.  Wow.  Normally to get this kind of “punishment” in Los Angeles you need to kill someone.

And here I thought he was the smart one in the race: Mitt Romney, flanked by, amongst others, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Michelle Bachman, said “anyone on this stage would be a better president than Barack Obama.”

President Barack Obama says that if he were in Congressman Anthony Weiner’s position, he would resign. Not that I think Obama’s the type to send semi-naked pictures to women, but resign? Really? If he were in Weiner’s position and Michelle had found out, Barack would be dead.

Inspired by my funny friend Jim Barach, who pointed out that “Ruler on Ice” is the horse that won the Belmont, not to be confused with Saddam Hussein. Also not to be confused with “Ruler in Water” – Osama bin Laden.