Posted tagged ‘cruise ship jokes’

Not quite slip sliding away

May 4, 2014

A Norwegian cruise ship was stuck in the Hudson River this morning. Wonder if anyone on board had annoyed Chris Christie.

 

It took less than three hours to tow the cruise ship that was stuck on the Hudson into port. Still no doubt disappointing passengers who wanted to get home earlier. And really disappointing CNN that the ship wasn’t stuck out in the Atlantic.

 

A woman was arrested at Oakland Airport when TSA found 81 POUNDS of marijuana in her three checked bags. And worse, she probably didn’t get her baggage fees back.

 

Aww moment, and nother reason to love California Chrome. Owner Steve Coburn, about watching the Kentucky Derby – “Our dream child doing exactly what we thought he could do when he was a baby.”

Hall of Famer Jim Brown “The NCAA is the most reprehensible organization God ever created.” And God responded “Don’t blame me, I didn’t do it.”

 

Heisman winner Jameis Winston, who has been the closer, and one of the better players on the FSU baseball team,  been reinstated to the Seminoles’ baseball team.  This after  completing his  20 hours of community service.for shoplifting crab legs just last Tuesday.  Well, if consistency is a virtue, good to know the SEC baseball teams are as much talent whores as their football equivalents.

From TC .  “The NBA wants to punish Donald Sterling by forcing him to sell the Clippers and then use the proceeds to buy The Harlem Globetrotters. If they really wanted to punish him, they would make him purchase the Washington Generals.”

 

Stuff and bother.

February 15, 2013

Silver lining department: Never have so many people been so happy to arrive in Mobile, Alabama.

The Carnival Triumph cruise turned into days of some booze, limited food, overflowing toilets and foul odors. In other words, a floating frat house.

Understatement of the year award to Gerald R. Cahill, CEO of Carnival: “We pride ourselves on providing our guests a great vacation experience. Clearly, we failed in this particular case.”

Kevin Youkilis, who yesterday said “I’ll always be a Red Sock”, today came out with “I’m a Yankee today, and I’m excited.” Wow! Youkilis changed positions so fast you have to wonder if he has future plans to run for office.

Rabbits have been eating the wiring of cars parked at Denver International Airport by eating spark plug cables. Parking companies are building “better” fences and adding perches for predators like hawks and eagles. Large numbers of large birds near an airport, what could possibly go wrong?

 

All this hullabaloo about Chuck Hagel, a combat veteran. Can you imagine if President Obama had nominated a draft-dodger for Secretary of Defense, you know, someone like Dick Cheney?

Rough weekend decisions coming up for Congressional Republicans. Do they blame Obama for the Carnival Triumph fiasco or the meteorite hitting Russia?

Back aboard the bus, or rather, the ship to hell-   How about songs to play in honor of the Carnival Triumph? My starter suggestions: “Slip sliding away.” “Stuck in the middle with you.” “The Night the Lights Went out in Georgia,” “Where do we go from here?” “Stuck on you,” “Smoke on the water….”

Reports are that Harrison Ford will once again play Han Solo in an upcoming Star Wars movie. Only this time the quote would be “I’ve got a bad feeling about this, if I could remember what it is.”

In his new book, “Long Shot,” Mike Piazza is now blaming Vin Scully, (Vin Scully?!) for causing Dodgers fans to boo him in his final weeks with the team. Forget steroids, the “S” that will keep Piazza from ending up a beloved Los Angeles icon is “stupid.”

 

 

From  T.C.   “American Airlines and US Airways have formally announced they plan to merge. This deal was supposed to finalize sometime in 2009, but it’s been delay after delay after delay……”

 

 

 

First Manny Ramirez, now Mark McGwire is wearing Dodger Blue as a hitting coach…. SF Giants fans are accepting apologies for all those steroid remarks Los Angeles fans made about Barry Bonds.