Posted tagged ‘Asiana airlines jokes’

Oh not quite baby.

July 17, 2013

One reason that so many people are eagerly awaiting the arrival of the royal baby? How often do we get a real celebrity baby born in wedlock?

So little offense in Tuesday night’s All-Star game you had to wonder if all the batters knew they might be asked to provide a urine sample after the game?

Governor Rick Perry, in an Illinois radio ad trying to lure business to his state – “The escape route leads straight to Texas.” Uh, aren’t they talking about a fence for that?

Matt Harvey said in a Men’s Journal article that he hopes to have the kind of love life Derek Jeter has had, not just the beautiful women, but the privacy. Apparently Harvey, 24, hasn’t thought about Jeter being lucky enough to be in HIS 20s before everyone from age 7 to 70 had their own camera phone.

Gay marriages will now be legal in England, Queen Elizabeth II gave her royal assent to a bill passed in Parliament. Of course, watching her own four children couldn’t have given the Queen any sense that “traditional” marriage needed to be defended….

An interesting sidelight to the legalization of gay marriage in Britain…. it was Prime Minister David Cameron, a leader of the Conservatives, who first proposed the legislation.

 

San Francisco now has its own Applebee’s on Fisherman’s Wharf. For all those locals and tourists who haven’t known where to get a good pomegranate martini made with Sprite. (No joke, was in an Applebee’s in Kansas, only place open late, and had to have them hold the Sprite.)

Asiana Airlines is dropping plans to sue KTVU, the TV station that mistakenly read the four fake pilot names on air. Presumably at least in part because the airline realized such a suit would lead to about four million fake lawyer name jokes.

 

Despite the most recent controversy swirling around him after his early departure from the Manning QB camp, Johnny Manziel says “I’m still going to live my life to the fullest.” Is it too soon to start a pool on his next possible arrest date?

 

Texas A & M QB Johnny Manziel said he ended up leaving the Manning QB camp simply because he missed a meeting when he overslept. Yo, Johnny, they’re called alarm clocks. (And there’s an app for that.)

Meanwhile in San Francisco, LB NaVorro Bowman is talking about the “huge mistake” by QB Colin Kaepernick – being seen wearing a Miami Dolphins hat. Is it just me, or should “huge mistake” be reserved for situations where the police are involved. Or maybe butt fumbles.

If Russia gives Snowden asylum South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham is now suggesting the U.S. consider a boycott the 2014 winter Olympics in Sochi. Yeah, that 1980 boycott turned out so well with Afghanistan….

Can’t believe this man once sold used cars…..

July 15, 2013

MLB Commissioner Bud Selig said today that “this sport is cleaner than it’s ever been.” And we thought Abbott and Costello had a hard time keeping straight faces for “Who’s on First.”

In related news, Texas Rangers president Nolan Ryan said today that Manny Ramirez could be called up to the team after the All-Star break.  Wonder if someone was on hand potentially to help Selig with the Heimlich maneuver.

The new version of Twinkies is about 10% smaller than the original version. No doubt Hostess will seek a price increase because the new snack cakes are healthier for you.

No joke, a new poll shows former Gov. Eliot Spitzer and ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner leading in their respective primary races. Who knew so many New Yorkers were aspiring comedians?

 

Johnny Manziel pleaded guilty to a lesser charge stemming from a bar fight in 2012, and will avoid jail time. Give the young man credit for being precocious – he’ll have a both a Heisman and at least one conviction before he ever gets to the NFL..

Steelers and Dolphin centers Mike and Maurkice Pouncey, ttwins who played with Aaron Hernandez at Florida, celebrated their birthday last night wearing “Free Hernandez” caps. Well that ought to do wonders for the image of NFL players as stupid thugs.

 

So what does the winner of the MLB ‪#‎Homerunderby‬ get? Besides increased PED testing for the rest of the season?

Puig is the toast of Los Angeles, Cespedes won the Home Run Derby…. Coast Guard boats looking to intercept Cuban refugees may find they have competition from MLB boats looking to give them safe haven.

Russian President Putin today said of Snowden “As soon as there is an opportunity for him to move elsewhere, I hope he will do that.” Wonder if Putin worries that Snowden can start hacking Russian computers from the airport?

An NTSB official said the intern who confirmed false names for the Asiana Flight 214 pilots to KTVU is no longer with the agency. “I am shocked”, said absolutely no one.

So Asiana Airlines has actually retained a U.S. law firm and plans to go ahead with a defamation suit against KTVU as a result of the pilot prank. Thereby guaranteeing that the story, and the joke names, including Some Ting Wong and Ho Lee Fuk, remain a headline for months to come.

T.C.  (Whose last name is Chong, so he can make this joke:  )  “Asiana Airlines said they are considering legal action against KTVU because the station’s reading of the four fake names “badly damaged” their reputation.  Look for them to show up with that famous Asian attorney Low Fee.

Look for them to show up with that famous Asian attorney Low Fee.