Archive for July 2018

And the hits just keep on coming.

July 30, 2018

#bustohell

 

So with Osuna traded to Astros & Chapman with Yankees, ALCS could come down to battle of two closers arrested for domestic violence.
This is NOT, perhaps, how MLB wanted to compete with football.

Top college basketball recruit DJ Jeffries is decommitting from Kentucky ” I am confident that taking my time to choose the right school for me to better myself educationally and athletically is the right choice.”
Right, because that time in college classrooms could be the best dozen hours of his life?

SF Giants Will Smith asked after getting out of of a jam in 11th and striking out side to get win in 12th how he deals with “the whole night riding on you getting that guy out? “You try your hardest to get them out.”
One of my new favorite Giants.

If Will Smith likes pitching in San Francisco he better hope that 4 strikeout performance came too late for the trade deadline.

Scariest thing about #JoshHader #SeanNewcomb and #TreaTurner stories involving homophobic and racist tweets when they were teenager; for all that they’ve apologized, the tweets make SOME Americans like them better.

Jeff Sessions announced #ReligiousLibertyTaskForce. It will protect the rights of all groups who follow HIS religion.

Trump administration today called for “free, fair, and transparent elections” in Nicaragua. Right, as long as they don’t try that same nonsense in the United States.

So if there was ‘no collusion” why would it matter if Rudy doesn’t “even know if that’s a crime — colluding with Russians.”
Such stable geniuses.

Sometimes have to wonder, is Rudy Guiliani really THAT stupid, or is Rudy just trying to get back at Trump for being elected President when he couldn’t?

Labor Department says consumer prices rose 2.9 percent in June from a year earlier, highest inflation in more than six years.
I missed the Trump tweet taking credit.

 

Who knew getting a Nobel Peace Prize could be so complicated? #northkorea

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The tweet’s the thing

July 29, 2018

Now it’s Sean Newcomb, fresh off his near no-hitter, who’s been caught out with racist homophobic tweets when he was 18-19.
I suppose I get youthful stupidity, & learning tolerance. But wouldn’t you think at 25 he’d know enough to delete tweets?

Open note to young athletes. 1. Tolerance is a good thing. 2. If you haven’t learned that yet, keep it to yourself or at least off social media. #SeanNewcomb#JoshNader

Anyone social media savvy with time on their hands probably could name their price now to help young @MLB players scrub their Twitter accounts.

 

So after Rob Manfred says Mike Trout needs to market himself, Sunday Night Baseball July 22- Mets-Yankees rainout; July 29 – Cubs-Cardinals rain delay. Thinking mean bitch Karma just might be a Trout fan.

(At the moment, thunderstorms are only expected next Saturday in Boston, where Sunday Night’s next game will be played against the …surprise,  Yankees.)

Jose Altuve on DL for first time in his career with a knee injury. Did they diagnose him at Children’s Hospital?

(And I love Altuve, so I’m laughing with him not at him. How many superstars who aren’t jockeys can I be taller than in heels?)

 

Cowboys’ QB Dak Prescott says NFL anthem protests take away ‘from the joy and the love that football brings.” But hey, maybe the CTE will help players forget.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg says “I have at least five more years on the Supreme Court.”

You Go Girl.  Or as my friend Karen says “You STAY Girl.”

Wonder if FLOTUS “can watch any channel she likes”, if she watching MSNBC airing #AllThePresidentsMen Sunday night?

 

So why would any foreign government trust Trump to keep promises when he can’t even keep promise to keep conversation with @NYTimes off the record?

Trump says he tweets because media doesn’t report him honestly. But almost all his tweets are simply bragging and/or spewing hate.
“If someone tells you who they are, believe them.”

Not so new boys of summer

July 28, 2018

So after Rob Manfred says Mike Trout should market himself…. who’s on Saurday’s Fox Game of the Week? Cubs vs. Cardinals. Who’s on Sunday Night Baseball tomorrow? Cubs vs. Cardinals.

 

You know it’s getting bad for SF Giants fans when your goal for the night is less making up ground on Dodgers than jinxing the no-hitter.

 

Bruce Bochy took a red-eye flight tonight to New York for Trevor Hoffman’s Hall-of-Fame induction ceremony tomorrow.    Hope the flight stocked a LOT of his favorit red wine.

So far, this year’s MLB’s trade deadline is the most “rich get richer” that we’ve seen since GOP passed those tax cuts.

 

Reports now Donald  Trump wanted to see Ivanka married to Tom Brady. Millions of Americans would be okay with that – Patriots couldn’t be any more hated, & we’d have Ivanka out of DC.

FOX News website headline “DHS: All eligible immigrant parents reunited with children.” Only down in the story is the line “Hundreds of children remain apart from their families following separations at the border.”
State TV at its finest.

 

Necco candy plant in Revere, MA, suddenly closed. They made Necco Wafers, Mary Janes & Valentine’s Day tiny Sweetheart candies. Will the last candy hearts instead of saying “Be Mine” say “Blame Trump?”

NY Times reports Jared Kushner “has privately said that he has been taking action against ‘incompetence.'”
Some statements don’t even need a punchline.

Crickets from Trump on deadly California Carr Fire. Although imagine the tweet storm if he thought it was started by an immigrant.

And ten people at least shot in New Orleans, three fatally.  Less sad perhaps that we reset the USA  mass shooting clock than that we barely notice.

 

Can we call Trump the “Pinball President?” Because scandals come so fast & furious it’s like a ball bouncing so fast off bumpers we don’t know what to react to next.

Murica

July 28, 2018

Jerry Jones’ son Stephen, Dallas executive VP, said players should stand “if they want to be a Dallas Cowboy.”
So if they want to take out their frustrations, players should do something more American like beating their girlfriends?

 

Former SF Giant Ryan Vogelsong, on missing being a major league pitcher. “I had an excuse to be mad at everyone every fifth day.”

 

Facebook blocked Alex Jones for 30 days for “spreading hate speech and encouraging physical harm.”
And then did they lock the barn door and start searching for the horse?

If CNN and other reporters showed up with questions on colored flash cards would Trump answer them?

Putin says he’s invited Trump to Moscow for second meeting. Guess he wants to refresh his memory with another showing of the pee tape?

Why does Fox News keep saying liberals think Trump voters are stupid, when it’s Donald  Trump who CLEARLY really thinks they are stupid.

 

Trump tweets that “The only things the Democrats do well is “Resist,” which is their campaign slogan, and “Obstruct.”
Justice Merrick Garland might disagree.

 

 

How long until Trump claims Omarosa was just the covfefe girl?

Recent Twitter message – but kind of applies to the United States right now -“Something is technically wrong -thanks for noticing. We’re going to fix it and have things back to normal soon.” #BlueWave

As if we didn’t already know Kimberly Guilfoyle was the perfect woman to marry into the Trump family….

“Troy is strong on crime and borders, loves our Military, our Vets and our Second Amendment. He has my full and total Endorsement!”
“John is strong on crime and borders, loves our Military, our Vets and our Second Amendment. He will be a star. He has my full and total Endorsement!”

Two tweets, about 6 minutes apart. Can’t imagine how Trump gets accused of being a clueless braggart with memory issues.

Here goes da Judge

July 27, 2018

Aaron Judge has a fractured wrist and is going to be out three weeks. So what, will the Yankees somehow make a trade for Bryce Harper?

Josh Hader pitched for the first time on the road since the All-Star game when his racist and homophobic teenage tweets were revealed.  Against the Giants, and he was booed loudly.  San Francisco is a hate-free zone,  Except for the Dodgers.

After CNN reporter was banned from White House pool access for simply asking about Michael Cohen,  Fox News issued a statement saying “we stand in strong solidarity with CNN for the right to full access for our journalists as part of a free and unfettered press.”

So they’re sending “thoughts and prayers?”

So Jim Jordan is running for Speaker. Because he’ll speak up as much for the country against Trump as he spoke up for those wrestlers against the doctor?

Jim Jordan will say he’s even more qualified than Dennis Hastert to be speaker because we already know about his sexual abuse scandal. #WTF?

 

So how much will we have to cut from US education budget to provide better security for Betsy Devos’s yachts?

United & American Airlines changing their websites to accede to Chinese demand not to refer to Taiwan as a separate country. Washington HAD described the demand as “Orwellian nonsense.”
“Orwellian nonsense?”  These days in DC Trumpster consider Orwell a political genius.

 

Happy #NationalInternDay – I miss days when that would have been #1 source of jokes about a current US President.

 

So new lying lawyer Trump is claiming that Trump’s old lawyer was a bigger liar. Got it. #TrumpTower

Who knew that publicly humiliating your lawyer at his son’s bar mitzvah might end up affecting his “loyalty.”

 

Maybe Donald Trump Jr. is getting engaged to Kimberly Guilfoyle because if they’re married she can’t testify with anything he’s said to her against him?

Trump has been accused of lying and claiming U.S. Steel is opening “six major facilities.” (They aren’t) So he changed his story. Now he’s claiming SEVEN.
#LiesDamnLiesAndTrumpisms

Meanwhile Fox News website is a Michael Cohen free zone. While they trumpet “Biden gone bad” about Joe’s niece being sentenced in a credit card fraud case.

In a town where EVERYTHING leaks, Robert Mueller might be running the tightest ship in history.

Checked out

July 25, 2018

Yoenis Cespedes will have surgery on his heels and miss the remainder of the 2018 season. Making him luckier than Mets fans.

Marc Ragovin – “In a move to attract fans given their dismal record, the NY Mets have just announced Bubonic Plague Vaccination Night Fridays.”

Jerry Jones says Dallas will require players to stand for anthem, not remain in locker room. As if we didn’t already have enough reason to hate the Cowboys.

So just wondering, will Cowboys owner Jerry Jones close down all the concession stands at AT&T Stadium during the National Anthem? $$$$$$$

 

Kevin Durant on Donald Trump “He doesn’t have a soul, bro,” he doesn’t have a soul. The stuff he says and does, bro. Like, you gotta have something deep down … Something’s missing for you to say that type of stuff.”

Just guessing it’s going to be at least until 2021 until ANY NBA team visits the White House.

Vince Carter has re-upped for his 21st year with the Hawks. Your turn, Manu  Ginobili   #GoSpursGo

Larry Nassar alleges he was assaulted in prison.
“I feel so sorry for him,” said absolutely, positively nobody.

Just when you think you’ve heard them all, United flight delayed from LAX because “a piece of luggage got sucked into the right engine.”
Wonder if they’ll refund the checked bag fee?

FoxNews reports Trump saying HE’s delaying meeting Putin again until 2019 after ‘Russia witch hunt is over”
That’s like your prom date backing out and announcing you decided to ask her to next year’s dance instead

Trump says US and EU have agreed to work toward “zero tariffs.” Dibs on “less than 48 hours” in the pool on when he says the complete opposite.

Trump tweets about “hosting the first-ever #IRFMinisterial. The U.S. will continue to promote #ReligiousFreedom around the world.”
Of course, if you’re Muslim, your religious freedom stops at US border. #WTF?

So POTUS who’d run into a school to face an armed killer is afraid to face an unarmed CNN woman reporter….

“What kind of lawyer would tape a client?”
The kind of lawyer who doesn’t trust his client, for starters. @realDonaldTrump

Trump didn’t create racists in America. He just empowered them.

Seattle covfefe?

July 25, 2018

And didn’t we all have the Giants beating the Mariners because of Kelby Tomlinson’s great night at the plate, a Hunter Pence home run  and Pablo Sandoval’s speed rushing Seattle’s Dee Gordon into an error.

To Casablanca fans…. Prodigal Panda this year, paid by the Red Sox, is doing a nice version for SF Giants fans of “We’ll always have 2012 and 2014.”

Seriously,  Pablo destroyed Verlander in game one in 2012, and then caught the final out in 2014.  Then tried to burn bridges. But they’re rebuilt now.  And it’s a good thing.

 

And airlines wonder why we hate them… United discount fare SF to Newark in October, $342 roundtrip. Adding 4 inches of legroom same seat,  $291 roundtrip additional. No joke.

So wonder how many MAGA farmers who rail against welfare & social services will do principled thing and turn down money from Trump’s $12 billion bailout?

“Tariffs are the greatest,” and “as simple as that.” Well, it’s not like @realDonaldTrump was an Economics major or anything. Wait, never mind.

Groucho Marx “Who ya gonna believe, me or your own eyes?”
@realDonaldTrump “Who ya gonna believe, me or your own eyes AND ears?”

Too bad for workers who will be laid off since Ivanka’s clothing company is shutting down. At least most of them are in China.

The #MAGA world according to Trump? “We become strong, I feel, when we have no friends upon whom to lean, or to look to for moral guidance.”
Benito Mussolini.

 

My new hero. BBC’s #EmilyMaitlis to Sean Spicer “You played with the truth, you led us down a dangerous path. You have corrupted discourse for the entire world by going along with these lies.”

 

From a pizza deliveryman to a daughter-in-law…. Guessing almost all of us, including Trump voters, know and respect someone undocumented. Immigration issues are not easy.

Finally, If #NiaWilson had been white and her killer an immigrant, Trump would already be eulogizing her tonight. Seriously. And if you don’t know the story google it. Please.