Archive for April 17, 2014

Maybe baby.

April 17, 2014

Chelsea Clinton has announced that she is pregnant with her first child. And presumably that baby, boy or girl,  will be running for President in 2064.

Chelsea Clinton’s pregnancy is a big deal in the U.S. Of course, it’s not like in Britain with Prince George, where a child can grow up to rule simply by virtue of his/her birth….Oops, never mind.

The arts and crafts chain Michaels is the latest to be hit by a security breach. The company said that about 2.6 million customer credit and debit cards used at its stores may have been affected. Worrisome news for a lot of women and almost a dozen men.

Uber is adding a $1 flat “Safe Rides” Fee onto all fares. Their first mandatory surcharge.  They must have hired an executive from the airlines.

Chad Johnson is heading to the CFL’s Montreal Alouettes.. Is this some small payback to Canada for Justin Bieber?

With Tiger and Phil out for the weekend, the Masters had its lowest ratings in over 20 years. Hearing this most Americans asked “Oh, was there a golf tournament on?”

Oscar Pistorius’s own defense forensics expert witness today contradicted the athlete’s earlier testimony on the stand. Even the O.J. jurors are beginning to think this guy is guilty.

A new app will allow users,for a monthly fee, to have unlimited coffee at a number of independent. The app, called CUPS, is $45 for regular coffee or tea, $85 for espressos. But, hey, for that price you could get a half dozen drinks at Starbucks.

Apparently Donovan McNabb was arrested Jan 6 for DUI, and has already served a one-day sentence after pleading guilty. Wonder why the story’s just coming out now. Maybe McNabb is just trying to show he still belongs in the NFL?

Apparently the Captain of that ill-fated South Korean ferry was not only not at the helm when it began listing, but he also was one of the first people rescued. Maybe it’s time to send the guy on a fact-finding mission, back to the ferry’s bridge wearing only a snorkel and flippers.

Edward Snowden made a “surprise” appearance on Putin’s annual question-and- answer TV show to ask “Does Russia intercept, store or analyze in any way the communications of millions of individuals?” Putin responded that Russia has a special service that bugs telephone and Internet to fight crimes, including terrorism, only with court permission and only “for specific citizens.” But “on a massive scale, on an uncontrolled scale we certainly do not allow this and I hope we will never allow it.”

And they both performed this with a straight face!

So FB is going to introduce a new feature called “Nearby Friends,” which they say is optional. The idea is to tell you if any of your friends are in the area. And how many millions of teenagers with parents on FB just started looking for a new social media site?

Chipotle announced their profit increased 8.5% last quarter. So you know what that means… Yep, their prices are going up

Counting down.

April 17, 2014

Anyone who says April baseball is boring isn’t paying attention. #Giants #Dodgers

Four and a half minutes for instant replay to decide a call stands in tonight’s Giants Dodgers game? How long until the instant replay breaks are “brought to you by….”?

Josh Hamilton and Mike Napoli both have injured themselves on head-first slides, and Gregor Blanco got away with one Tuesday night in SF. Have any of them noticed that NO ONE at the NFL combine finishes the 40 yard dash with a dive?

The NBA Bucks have been sold, to new owners who say they will keep the team in Milwaukee. Of course this could partly be because no one else wants them.

Bud Selig called MLB’s instant replay rollout “remarkable” and said “we’ve had really very little controversy overall.” Presume the commissioner reiterated that the steroid era is over.

(from my friend Lindol, “I’ll have what he’s having.”)

In the #Marlins rotation, Slowey will replace Hand. Does this even need a punchline?

British PM David Cameron has been photographed enjoying himself on vacation in the Canary Islands at a topless beach. And President Obama no doubt got a call offering to assist with U.S. – England relations from Bill Clinton.

 

A missing Nebraska toddler was found safe and sound INSIDE a toy claw game machine. Apparently he wanted the stuffed toys inside and managed to squeeze his way through the prize slot. Good thing the slot is small or this story might have given a number of frat boys ideas.

At online betting site, Bovada, Tiger Woods, at 10-1, is a co-favorite with Rory McIlroy to win the U.S. Open in June. Even though Woods probably won’t play in the U.S. Open. Guess he’s the only name a lot of bettors know?

As the NBA season ends, remember “2014” as the answer to win a future bar bet.  As in the 1st year ever the Lakers, Knicks and Celtics will all miss the playoffs.

 

A United flight from JFK to Dulles was evacuated today after a Twitter post said there was a bomb on board. Silly. For that short a flight there wasn’t even time fpr a GOOD inflight movie.

The story out of South Korea with that ferry gets worse and worse. Who have ever thought the Costa Concordia would look like a model evacuation by comparison?